Bumper Stickers
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All those who believe telekinesis raise my hand.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Mind like a steel trap; rusty and illegal in 37 states.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria: They're the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.