All This Confusion in One Person

I (ashley) figure I should let everyone in on my sad, twisted little life...here it goes...

6/27/01~*~today we went out to lunch for my mom's bday, we went to that Family Buffet place...good stuff good stuff. then shopping,me and my cousins, Nichole and Jess got us some makeup and whatnot.
6/30/01~*~ i sat around...watched the mummy w/ my brother. it made me think of sam because we saw that movie for our second date. fell asleep, then i got yelled at again for being lazy. even though i do everything for that crazy woman in the wheelchair, more than her own children, i'm the lazy one. i needed some way to vent so i burned my poems...every single one. one by one i watched them burn in my back yard. later i remembered i had transfered them all into a small book w/ a faery on it. so i still have shit i can get published. then i talked to charlie and alex. i love charlie he seems to be handeling his brokeness so well. and then i went for a run around the t.p., well i went 4 times around. and now im watching the shining. ok well commercial is over, ima go watch the movie and fix this page some more. byes
7/1/01~*~ i love being able to know who my true friends are...they do certain things that let you know they are your real friends. I'm finding out left and right this summer who my true friends are. and it sux...well its better to find out now then to let things keep going the way they are....i have to email a few people now...
7/2/01~*~today i went with steff to hunter's sale barn to sell her beanies. well walked around, acquired some stuff, then we got screamed at...some guy thought we took something and waited for us to walk past his table again...then he started with the bad words and loud voice...i hate old fat men....he could have killed us...we were so scared. we hid in her van and played mancala...oh and me and steff got us some butterfly knives.and the blade is black and squiggly...they are wonderful...
7/7/01~*~i went to the mall and movies with nichole. we saw the mummy returns, and nichole dragged me to every stupid preppy store white marsh had to offer. but i got some cool junk. i got me some black sandals with a nautical star on the side...i wanted the one with blue flames but they didnt have my size, a blue flame vizor, its pretty, and a medium and dark blue stripped shirt with a white collar. and i washed my purse, took 20 minutes to take all the stuff off of it and 45 to put it all back on....im never doing that again. and i swear im gonna cry, sam,zack,and ben move in 2 weeks, they have to be out b4 8/1/01. and i also found out david warren...my buddy since forever is moving in august as well. david is even movin to the same state as sam,zack and ben. well off to bed...
7/19/01~*~as of today nichole and i have spent everyday for 2.5 weeks together...scary...well we were wokin up at arpound12:30pm by jay. then we got dressed, went to the Waffle House (ooOOoo...lol...inside joke) for brunch. then we went up to the farm. we were swimming in the in ground pool for oh 9 hours...except for an hour when,nichole,jay and myself walked the dogs 3 at a time around the horse track...that track is huge...and we went around 3 times...then feeding the horses and brushing the new born colts was fun...climbing into the yards with the horses....then back into the pool....then after that we went to KFC for dinner. and home at last. plus jay said next week or the week after we can do it again...and i can take anyone i want...so im dragging nichole (cuz we have the most fun together)
7/20/01~*~great...just great....this guy jamie that use to be in love with...i swear he asked me out 100 times in the 3 years ive known him was on his sisters screen name...and he was saying how he missed me (he moved to PA) and then he was saying how i was alright except i never gave him a chance to date me...then me like a retard said well u always picked on me...what did u think i would say...then he said alright...ill be nice from now on...and then he said hed be down to visit soon....im scared...ok g2g...nichole just imed and needs my internet knowledge to assist her...lol...
7/31/01~*~Sam asked me out again...it was sooo cute. I wrote him this letter yesterday and told him that i loved him and all mushy stuff. and then today i asked if he read it (cuz i told him not to until he was on his way to VA) and he said yeah...and he said it was really sweet. then my cousin Steven yelled
8/3/01~*~brandon sexton kissed me at bryan white's house...he has a really long freaking tounge...
8/8/01~*~ ive decided if i dont see sam really soon im gonna go crazy...i love him soo much and its not fair that he lives so far away...im gonna call him tomorrow...cuz this john guy told me sam called him and told him he was upset that brandon kissed me...i dont want him to be mad at me...weve only been going out a week...welll ima go talk to this john some more...maybe ill remember him soon...
8/14/01~*~ today is 2 weeks with Sam...yay...and tonight i found out that me and anthony settle have had 2 children in the past...one bob and the other georgette....and tonight me and anthony had virtual sex(dont know how it was virtual sex considering we sat beside each other and on bryans porch)and then anthony poked a hole in my lung....yep...it was like that...and im pregnant again...*inside joke*
8/15/01~*~ ok...not only the worst day of my life...the worst night as well.....molested left and right...nichole has been here since friday i think...thats 6 days...and today we were at my moms on the porch...and here comes mike krewson,rodney stahler and bryan white. and mike tried for oh an hour to get me and nichole to give him head and it was like no...he was upset...but oh well.
8/18/01~*~ i'm so scared...the 31st of august....i leave for michigan....im staying there until the following monday...while i am there i get to see my grandma and grandpa steele before they keel over....and then i get to meet my real dad...my biggest fear of that is him not liking me...well i know he doesnt like me cuz he wanted a son....but what if he slams the door in my face or something like that.....geez....just thinking about it is gonna give me a heart attack....woo....ok ill be fine...ill be fine....ewww this chick lori on the real world cant sing....ick....id rather listen to one of those skanky pop singers than her....ok im going now....
10/20/01~*~ i'm such a bad person...i was hanging (or smoking) with the guys like usual....but walking back to my omas house nick took nichole up the 2nd street (nothing happened...shes a smart one) and me and mike krewson went up the 1st street...mike and me cut through the yards and we were talking and the whole time he was holding me...then he put his nose right up to mine when we were having one of those movie star kisses...it was so...well yeah it was mike...so nevermind...
11/1/01~*~ i started talking to this guy khyle awhile ago, he imed in some chat room....then he started calling me...and lately ive started to develop a huge crush...and this totally isnt like me...and i still go out with sam...yep im the most horrible person in the world...
11/10/01~*~ stuff is so crazy....ive gone from huge crush to so in love with khyle....and today he told me he was so in love with me...it was so sweet...maybe im just weird....but every time i talk to him i like him just a little bit more....and no matter how bad i feel he always makes me feel better....
11/13/01~*~i dumped sam today....im so glad that is over...well u shouldnt go with someone and like someone else so much more....
11/20/01~*~ ive never been so upset...my mom said i could go to khyles house...then my fat ass dad got all kinds of pissy...said no...and earlier that day khyle told me he was gonna ask me out at this concert he wanted to take me too...ive been so horribly crushed...cuz i really like him a lot...and hes so sweet....geez this sux....this sux big huge-mangus monkey testicles....grrr....going out with him would be so great......*sigh*
11/25/01~*~ the only reason im writing now is to check and see if the entire angelfire page is gay or just the one...hmmm....aiight well today is turkey day...i spent it w/ nichole and stuff was awesome...now shes laying on my bed being angry....i think im gonna go lick her....oh god bad idea...got some lotion thrown at me...ok im out...
12/31/01~*~ today the last day of the year...well woo! let me get a party hat...if having fun though...im getting sexually violated by my 12 year old cousin and his friend...but that normal...and now im hanging with nichole in front of the comp..as always...and i wrote khyle an email earlier giving him a kiss and everything nice...and i hoped for one back but hes a guy so i didnt expect much...and a little bit of time ago nichole told me khyle said he was having girl problems...i hope this doesnt cause any problems in the future because i love him so much...oh well whatever he decides he decides...i have no say...but i hope he stays with me...
1/2/02~*~ i just finished dying...im all kinds of sick...i miss my khyle...he should call...*sigh* he needs not to be so far away...grr....ok...i need some sleep and some more medicine...
1/22/02~*~ yeah....its bored...im cold...but then again its always cold here...but i miss my khyle...he should sign on...its been a tad bit of time since ive written in this little journal thingy...well since the last time ive written stuffs happened...um...khyle and i have decided weve been going out...but she just dont know when it happened...so he picked the day and i picked the month...and we r gonna assume weve been going out since december14,01...the whole discussion was amusing...and weve discussed children...yes children...and khyles seems to think we need a child with an arm coming out of his head...it was a cloning accident...since we r pretty sure if the kids upset im gonna kill them...this way i wont actually be killing our kid...so it works...it was hilarious...prolly one of those u have to be there moments...i love my khyle so much...hes makes me laugh constantly...and i couldnt pick a better person for myself than him...aiight...byes
2/14/02~*~ its not only valentine's day....buuuut it is also 2 months with me and khyle...im so happy...and i love him so much....*sigh*.....i dont think ive ever been this happy...
5/25/02~*~hfs...oh yes oh yes...new found glory rocked...best thing in the entire world...and I saw Khyle! good times good times...can you believe it...NFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!it was enough to make me cry....*sniff sniff*

6/18/02~*~broke up with khyle...right after 6 months...it makes me feel bad...
6/20/02~*~oma went into surgery...I'm scared...but she'll pull through...
7/17/02~*~DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! wayne is hott as anything! i want his babies...the only sad thing is he's bryan's cousin...oh well...I'll work my magic and get him...I always do...lol