okie dokie. so here's a bit of the stuff that i wrote m'self (yes lil ole me can actually string five words and piece together something completely random. *GRiN*. good times). its mostly in chronological order, just stuff accumulated from over the years. the latest ones are at the top. juss scroll... and keep on scrolling.. haha. for any suggestions, email me at pisces_sweetie@hotmail.com. whatever, as long as u guyz dont go all weirdo-psychiatric on me. :-D~ -sher
1. Find Me
Find me with your bleak blue eyes
Crimson specks adorn those lies
Glance my way, away to fly
Lie to me in the faltering skies
Sing the song of crying men
And fall back to your place again
And when you rise, I’ll watch you sway
To claw above your wretched ways
She looks and she lies, and she listens for sounds
Of the weak and the angry to take her away;
She waits on her bed, counts the thorns on the ground,
And her broken reflection from the cold empty praise
She swallows the pity and buries the pride –
Claws at the fantasies eluding her grasp;
She falls at the mercy of those driven in line,
Who clamber amongst shadows to fight their own past
She follows the darkness till she breaks in the years
She fades in the silence, fights the grief in her eyes
She dies in the echoes of her own bitter tears
Drunk on the misery of the world’s thousand lies
Cry here in the morning light, awaken from these tears
As nights of laughter fade away the bitterness in the years
Shooting stars streak through the sky from fallen angels’ wings
You paid your dues a step before to save me from those dreams
You never gave me half a chance to shield you from the storm
Building up your walls of strength, you chose to fall alone
Chose to search for answers, struggle in the midst of others’ lies –
But each soft touch became a silent battle lost inside your eyes
Time and time again, you heard the voices in your head
Screaming for the untold truths, the words you left unsaid
And down where darkness reigns, I trace the gravestones wondering why –
Cry here in the morning light, aching for the love inside
Cold bitter winds swirl the deepening grey
Fight for the miles you swept in a day
Been racing the clock to the Heavens long gone
Don’t stop when you falter, don’t fall when you’re wrong
Tears for the unspoken rules of the heart
Light for the angel who cries in the dark
Running in circles so lost in the sky
Tracing the amber gold specks in your eyes
Crystal blue shadows emerge from the dark
A tainted raw past haunts the thirst in both hearts
Visions of yesterday fade past the signs
And I watch your soft eyes, echoing mine
Piercing rays of pain entwine
I’ve lost you to the depths of time
They broke you down and made you fall
Blind to grief they watched you crawl
Crawl back to me, your eyes so bleak
Such forlorn tears awake the weak
In empty years I’d watch you fade
Reduced to ashes, left to fray
Reflected in your angry eyes
So cold with hate, consumed in lies
They took your soul away from me
And drowned it in the bitter sea
And night to day I wake to find
The aching words you left behind
Away from grief, away to bliss
I’ll find you again with my hungry kiss
Cruel grey morning don’t let me rise
Cold blue Heaven flashed in your eyes
Get up fall down it’s all the same
Unchanged faces, different names
Tumble now but pay the price
Hear the voices scream inside
Walls come crashing down again
Wonder when you’ll see it end
Grey sky morning see me fall
Bleak as time slips by it all
And when it comes around once more
See me crumble to the floor
Lost into you
Would you pull me back?
I could stand here and watch you forever
But you turn around
Catch my glance in the heat
Of the room, I can see no one else
I look away –
For a minute I dream
Of those eyes searching mine in the dark
Waves of emotions
I shiver and wait
Scan the room till our eyes lock again
And that moment, time stalls
The world ceases to spin
And I can feel your gaze piercing my heart
And all in that same moment
You came and you went
And I hit reality hard once again
You smile
And I feel
Everything is flooding back
I can’t hold on anymore
Outside feels too goddamn heavy
Inside tears are raining down
The world’s turned itself over
And I can’t face you one more day
I just can’t seem to find myself again
Lost a foothold in the ground
I slipped and fell, but can you blame me
If I don’t find my way back home
But with just one smile
I would stand there, lost forever
With that one touch, I would give
Infinity just one last call
And then it all comes tumbling down
Again like a ton of bricks
Falling falling to the end of time
To where I’ll meet you in the dark
But then you smile
And did I ever tell you
Just how beautiful you are,
You smile
And I can feel the ground –
Everything melts away but you
You touch me and I know
The world will right itself again
You hold me and I get
A rush all warm and cold inside
So when it’s all falling apart out there
And I can’t face another day in the dark
You smile
Just for me
And I fall back in love again
Lost in a moment
My whole world surrounds you
Your arms hold me close
Still I dream where you are
I listen for lost words
And watch as you move
Cold crystal reflection
Press my fingers on the glass
I’m holding your hand
But I can’t reach your heart
My soul lies wide open
As my heart lies in wait
And every moment is torture –
You don’t move an inch
Was that you by my side?
Was that me hanging on?
So tired of running
So hopelessly wrong
I’m wandering in circles
To never look back
Lies crash at my heels
I falter and fall
Feels like I’m burning a forest
To find my way home
I’m just lost in this moment
Forgotten the next
Clinging onto forever
Swept blind by your touch
How we laughed, that night,
I’ll never forget
How we danced,
Each to his own music,
Each to her own beat
And how we cried after it ended –
After the time was gone.
How glamorous it felt
To just stand
Out in the night
On top of the world,
With the wind blowing in our faces
And the water grinding beneath us
As the music played,
And the night wore on
But with each passing moment
We knew it was drawing
Closer –
Closer
To the end of the tunnel
Closer to goodbye
And as the seconds ticked by,
We all knew that soon
It’d be time to leave
And forever would come,
Forever would end
So we danced faster
Or we danced slower –
It didn’t really matter,
As long as we danced
Closer to each other, at least
While the music never stopped
And we talked louder
And we laughed harder
Knowing that soon –
Too soon
We wouldn’t be laughing anymore
And as the clock struck the final hour
We all clung
Clung onto each other,
Onto past memories, never faded
And soon we weren’t smiling anymore –
Bittersweet,
Sorrow free
As we hugged,
As we cried
As we said our goodbyes
And we made our promises,
Vows never to forget,
Promises leading to forever, and always
How I’ll never forget
As we stood there, silent
Tears rolling down our faces –
Eyes red from crying
And legs sore from dancing
Our hearts full of love,
But throbbing in heartbreak
And as we said our final goodbyes
Our last wishes, blown to the night –
Though it may have just been me,
I know I’ll never forget
When the music stopped playing
When forever ended –
Forever
I’m running as fast as I can
But I can’t seem to
Catch up with this ride
Believe you inside
Dusty promises, swept away
Just like everything I left in the dark
And why do you
Push me so far
Walk away from the tears
Turn around
And yet you wonder why I’m
Dying, here alone
Breathing air into this bitter life
So when I fall to my knees
Crumple at your feet
Will you ever realize why it’s so wrong
And if you could, maybe you would
Understand me again
And remember why Cupid’s arrow
Stings so bad
Do you know why I cry?
Tears streak like the rain and yet
You never look back
So where will it end –
At tomorrow’s gates, will I still be
Crying to the wind alone
Stale memories
Pushing against the walls of my heart
As time wears on, I wonder
When I will find you again
I want to fly
Go running
into the night
Throw myself to the wind
and feel its fingers wrap around me
Am I drowning –
Silence borne
Cry myself out of this pain
Wish I could dance
without the aching
Fall, don’t hold me back
I am
Can you say I’m not?
And you pull me up before I drown
But I don’t need that last breath you owe me
Want to stand here looking up
Darkness sweeps and
Darkness swallows
And I pray with my last breath --
take me with you
let it go
before I drown in your iron grasp
Take me soon
Hurl me away
Kill me now so I can breathe
In that sweet moment
Lost forever
Cupid strings his bow and arrow
Cry my destiny aloud
I’ve forgotten what I meant
As rain streaks the dry ground
I watch the reins of time
Fall again and again
Angels cry in Heaven
Without you soaring above
But my tears cannot fall
Where you belong in the sky
Fight my last hope
And I sing to the stars
I wonder why, as I hold you –
You slip away
Fear dawns on my pride
And I cannot let go
I whisper to the skies
But I lost you forever
You tell me that you love me
You tell me that you care
Forgotten promises drift aside
When you’re never there
Hold me, hurt me, it’s all the same
Another face, a different name
An empty heart to see it through
And all that I’ve got left is you
A broken faith to prove the loss
A broken heart to fill the cost
Love can’t hurt me if I hide
Clinging to the knots of time
Hearts can’t break when kept away
Just save it for a rainy day
Erase me once you think it’s done
You’ll never win once the game’s begun
Two players in the court of fate
Silent as the music waits
Emotions running high tonight
Destiny can’t stop the fight
Dreams that fill like grains of sand
Slipping through my empty hands
You say forever, but how can I believe
When my heart has been broken, and my mind cannot conceive
My soul needs the touch that only you can provide –
When you hold me close, my heart feels alive
But my mind cries out no as I’m swept away
By your softest lingering touch, and those sweet words you say
Oh how I wish you were here beside me, tonight
But yet still I know that deep down inside
Our love for each other feels so wrong, but so right –
I’m just afraid of my feelings, of those long lonely nights
Sometimes in the dark I lie awake, in my fear
That I will be broken if you were not here
So I call to the stars and the Heavens above
And let me live in joy – let me live in love
I can’t promise you forever
But I can’t seem to let you go
I can’t feed you lies of always
When my heart can’t find the road
And when it’s dark, and I am lost
And thoughts of you stray in my mind
I know I can’t give you what you need
I can’t keep you safe at night
My hopes are shattered with every touch,
That this may transpire to be
Anything more than what I’d dreamt
I can’t feel, my heart can’t see
And it’s the hardest thing for me to do
To let you drift away
Though you know I cannot love you more
I know I cannot stay
So don’t swear to never break my heart
Because it’s breaking as I cry
I can’t promise you forever
Because forever has passed me by
I can’t let go of
A love that’s not mine
I can’t pretend that my heart has moved on
Late at night, as I lie in your arms
You don’t know the truth that I hide
When you’re thinking of me
And your eyes say the words,
I want to believe that it’s right
And I want so much to feel in love
With your kisses, with every soft touch
But I wake in the morning
Alone in my bed
Hopelessly wrong in my heart
To feel this way, to need this much
This touch that your love can’t provide
Crying for a past I can’t seem to release,
Longing for the man that you’re not
Fanning the fire burning through my own soul
In my emptiness, love’s lies strike their mark
As I watch the sky on a cold winter’s night
The moon hangs a crescent; the stars shine so bright
I wonder if anyone shall be looking to-night
For the gentle breeze whistles as these words I write
And as I see the stars twinkling deep in the sky,
I open my eyes and I raise my head high
And remember the laughter and joys of the by
’Morrow will bring all the hopes half-hung dry
From down where I perch, I gaze into the dark
Stare up at the stars for they blaze their bright mark
And I find my own soul in the otherwise stark –
Place in my thoughts that I hold my own heart
And down where I am, my thoughts drift astray
The contrasting dark juxtaposed to bright day
And ponder as visions of else gone to fray
Play back in my mind, times far from today
The night’s flowing fingers uncurl with the wind
The stars leave their glow of the night gone undimmed
The whispers of leaves, an unearthly spin
As darkness envelops the hole I stand in
As I watch the sky, on a cold winter’s night
The clouds pass in silence, the wind breathes so slight
The branches above me, contentedly sigh
As I wander the night, in search of the light
Under a flaming sunset
Fiery rays unfold
To lie in your arms,
From now till the Moon sweeps away those glistening dreams
Sparkling over the clear blue water
I’m clinging onto a past
As beautiful as the clouds in the distance
And as real as the mists in the light
I’m pining for a past that I can no longer trace –
A love whose depths root unyielding
And I fall to the Heavens who call out your name –
Angels down here on Earth
I die here alone as the Sun goes down,
Slipping past the eve of my fate
Darkness envelops the hole I stand in
Up to my knees,
As the waves wash right over me
Cleanse me through
As I close my eyes
Lift my head, against the dark night
Wonder, again and again
Cold rain trickles down my face
Like the salt water
Waves spraying, plastering onto my cheeks
Indistinguishable from the tears trickling in vain
Tears – wet tears
Salt I can taste in my dry mouth
Dry throat, dry eyes
No more tears left to shed
Yet the waves crash
Pound incessantly
Against the walls of my mind
Closing in, exploding
Ricocheting off the emptiness
When will it ever end?
The tears still come
Tears as bitter as the darkness around me
I stand in a hole
Washed over in shadows
Tears falling
Like the biting rain
The brackish waves
Tears in vain
Pouring down my face
And I cry
But it never stops
The darkness swirling
Burning a hole in the sand
I sink to my knees
Raise my eyes to meet the skies
Fall
Gently, upon the dark sands
And I cry
For it never stops
Not this lie
Not in this dream
Your eyes search mine
I’m not who I seem.
My heart rings the bell
That my mind knows is gone
What path did we leave?
What fork did we take wrong?
The wind ruffles your hair
But your eyes don’t leave my face
Is this always the way –
To sprint the long race?
No, not in this life
Not now, not then –
We drop off our packs,
Wipe the slate clean again.
How many nights
Must we go through this act?
How many times
Must we promise this pact?
Too many nights,
And then turn the page
Our minds read the words,
Our hearts run the race.
And against the dark sky
My heart shouts out no,
But your eyes tell the truth –
And I have to let go.
The long lonely nights
When I’m thinking of you
Lying in bed as I cry
Wishing I had you still,
And counting the days since you’ve left
Now I wake up, cold in the night,
Clutching the blankets worn thin
The wind blows outside, cursing my fate,
As I wrestle doubts bursting within
You aren’t here anymore,
I’m not the one in your heart
And I kick myself for wanting you back
Why do I still love you?
Why can’t I move on
To someone else, somebody better, this time?
Why must it be you,
Your name engraved on my heart
Your face that I see, in my mind?
Used-to-be, should-have-dones, could-have-beens – all erased,
Missing your touch, needing you back in my life
