You want to know my history? Ahh, well you will need much more tape than Interview With A Vampire. I guess I can humor you, but I know what you are about to hear will surprise you. I don't follow a godly priest. I'm evil incarnate and have slain many a beast. Lets get to the point. My exact age is unknown, for I was born before the era of calendars, calculated time, and formulated languages. I precede Jesus and the inferior notion of a Christian God. Shamans were simply Neanderthals who discovered visions, and became religious symbols for their day dreams. Druids? They wish to have some sort of connection to the word magic, but are only parlor magicians grasping at the ideology of nature's inner power but not having any clue of how to harness it. And the rest of the Pagans? Those who bay at the moon like deranged lupins worshiping a power they really have no connection with. Ahh, what changes I could bring to worldly religion... I estimate myself to be around 250,000 years old. At this time, the closest thing to human as you see it would be Neanderthals. Perhaps several other undiscovered ancestors of unimportance. Besides, Neanderthal would be the only classification you would be aware of at this day and age. Around 100,000 years ago, walked what you call ; "Cro Magnon Man." These creatures considered fully modern humans, and would be what you call "cave men." We were nomadic, traveling with our prey and feeding on what we could get our hands on. Now, How did I survive 150,000 years? Well, let's back up a little. There was a divine being who is far more advanced than humans at present day, walking around during those times. She is known as Lilith and was the first wife of Adam. Now, of course this is not the first human, but perhaps the first Homo Sapien? I am not human, and never have been. More of let's say a half-breed. Yes, that's the best definition for someone like me. I was half human, and half divine. Lilith traveled a great deal, especially for that age. She traveled to what we now call as Greece. There, She gave birth to three sons. One she named Nathanial, the other was named Axle, and the third was named Norzak. We were all born immortal, with powers rivaling the strongest and most powerful mages ever to walk the world. Norzak however was considered a miscreant for reasons I do not wish to state. Because of this we banished him to walk with the upright apes. Or so we thought.... We only needed to learn how to use these powers, and harness them, and invoke them. We both, Axle and I were learning very well, both with an aptitude towards magick. 100,000 years passed, and along came Adam, the original human..the man. Now sexist I am not, but facts are certainly facts. Adam was the greatest creation ever. Lilith through no choice of her own had to abandon us to our natural instincts of survival, she was called upon to serve this new creation. She left, and we never heard from her again. As Hebrew history now relates it, she would not become submissive to the sadistic Adam, and so she was cast out and cursed to wonder the world. So this Divine entity who many believe to be God, followed the age-old adage of "if you want something done right, do it yourself." And in so, he created the female entity of homo sapiens. This is for reproduction purposes of course, but her main purpose was to be submissive. Sorry ladies. Back to Axle and me. I decided to leave the security of our home and to bring myself into the rest of the world. Humans had by now organized themselves into much tighter, and related groups. Perhaps even considered cultures in the most abstract sense. We joined one of these traveling groups, and after a year or two, we considered it home. Ransacked! Ambushed! Attacked from all angles! Everybody in our group scattered in all directions worried only about survival. Survival, their most primal natural instinct. And that is what we all did, even Axle and me...the most superior of all humans. Axle ran one way, and I ran another. That's all we saw of each other for the longest time. I traveled towards the rising sun. I was raised in the wilderness by the wolves, forestry animals, and had occasional social interaction with humans. It wasn't until I passed into the land of a Tzimisce in Romania, that my eternal life greatly changed. Of course I didn't know what a vampire was, much less a Tzimisce. She was laying on the ground, appearing unconscious and possibly wounded; if not dead. I approached her with good intentions, but I felt an eerie feeling. Something powerful, magical..a magic I knew all too well...She had the slightest scent of Lilith on her. When I approached her, she reacted so swiftly and suddenly that I was helpless to react. That split second gave her the chance to sink her deadly fangs into my neck and all I remember is pure ecstasy before I blacked out. I awoke in her castle, and she forced my penis into an erection and raped me repeatedly. Using me for her most base sexual desires, and keeping me weak, starved, and chained until she desired me. This was around 70,000 BCE. After what felt like eternity, but was in reality only about 1,000 years...I finally escaped her clutches through adverse means. After decapitating her, her mate stabbed me through my back piercing my heart. Conscious still, but totally paralyzed, I lay there with a wooden stake in my heart. Fortunately, he did not kill me, he left me there to be slowly eaten by the starving rats and vultures of the castle. It seemed like a castle at that time, but in reality it was a mere stone building with several floors. Though more advanced than the average technology of the time. Poorly held together by mere mud, it finally crumbled a top me. My bones immediately crushed, I lay in their broken and bleeding and trapped into immobility. Fortunately, one of the falling blocks of rock must have hit the wooden stake and ripped it out of my side. Alas, How I hoped when this finally had happened I would be able to move. My muscles moved, by my body as a whole remained bound still, buried alive for eternity. Immediately I began to dig, frantically. I summoned all the magic I could remember. Trees fell and mountains shook with the gale force winds I was bringing upon the top of the castle. A most severe storm, hundreds of miles in diameter. This storm flooded the Tigris and Euphrates river. Digging frantically for survival, I called for the mole, and all other burrowing animals to aid me in my task. The storm lasted for forty days, but I had been digging for a total of 1,000 years..and buried for a total of 1,000 years before that. I called the storm to help blow rubble off of me, but mostly to obscure the sun's rays from my frail body. Trapped for 2,000 years, and I was finally free. Bloody, weak from absolute starvation and almost dead. I apologized and drank down the blood of the animals that aided me in my escape. I ran as fast and as far as I could. I ran to the Dead Sea, in Romania. Along the shores of the sea, and I found the cave of a pack of wolves. After killing and drinking all of their blood, I was beginning to feel somewhat normal. I dug, dug, dug. With my bare hands I dug. For another thousand years I dug 200 feet underground. That was my home, my safe haven from the sun and all those who wish to destroy me. One day on my travels, I found a small secluded haven. I felt a presence similar to mine, and one familiar..very familiar. I crept in the shadows until I found a dungeon. There, I saw my brother Axle tied down on his hands and knees, mutilated and bleeding . I slayed the ghouls without mercy..and peered upon my unconscious brother. Starving, out of blood, and a vampire as well. But not one like me, much more different. He was completely out of blood, and I gave him the blood of ghouls for nourishment. No sign of life or un-life, but I still carried him to my cave for safety. Slowly he pulled out of his unconsciousness but it took 16,000 years, and the only thing he could remember was that I was his brother...for what reasons I am not sure. I let him leave as he wanted, after teaching him how to speak Romanian once more, and teaching him how to at least defend himself. Apparently he was embraced by a man Named Gherome...and immediately captured by a Tzimisce. He left for many, many years without contact. I watched as humans domesticated plants and animals... I watched as Menes combined Egypt into one and raised the capitol of Memphis... I aided the Mayans in the creation of the 365 day calendar... I stepped out of the way of war when the Assamites assassinated the Setite King, Tut. I was a war advisor of the Trojan war, as well as a soldier myself in the year of... I watched Italy become inhabited, and have basked in the glory of being the champion of the First Olympic games at around... I was a key-stroke player in the Persian and Peleponesian wars. I stood aside the Greek civil wars. I took the name of Alexander and proved to myself a great war strategist. I was there as Napoleon, and was a spectator for the assassination of Julius Caesar. I bedded in Caligula's harem, and murdered him the next night. I told Diocletian to divide the Roman empire. In the final days of Rome, this was the best strategy. Unfortunately, as I predicted, there was nothing to save the Romans from their own folly. When back stabbed by Constantine, I led the Goths to burn and destroy Rome. I followed with Columbus to the New land, and effectively devoured James town and hid the bodies. I assassinated Abraham Lincoln, and watched Sabbat members from Cuba assassinate Kennedy. I've seen it all, been through it all. I was the Marquis De Sade, and finished Einstein's mathematical notes for him in his sleep. My deeds are both great and small. I was a major player in bringing down the Berlin wall, and had my ghouls beat the recently embraced malkavian, Rodney King. In the dark ages, I was one of the few sires to escape the horrors of Kupala's Night, And sent the Tremere cowering to their one sanctuary, bringing down their havens everywhere else. I fought on the fields of battle along with my childer and my ghouls in the Tzimisce-Tremere wars, and have slain kine, and kindred alike. I have spit in the eye of God, defied Raphael's curse. Call me Lucifer, Satan, the devil; or any other title you like to give to evil incarnate. There are many many more stories I could tell you, but for now this is enough. I hope you have enjoyed this tid bit of my life's story; and suggest you be getting out of my haven. Why, you ask? Because...you never asked permission to enter....who am I? WHO AM I ?????.......
Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long long time Stole many a man's soul and faith And I was 'round when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hand and sealed his fate I stuck around St. Petersburg When I saw it was time for a change Killed the Czar and his ministers Anastasia screamed in vain I rode a tank Held a general's rank When the Blitzkrieg raged And the bodies stank I watched with glee While your kings and queens Fought for ten decades For the gods they made I shouted out "Who killed the Kennedy's?" When after all It was you and me Let me please introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste And I laid traps for troubadours Who got killed before they reached Bombay Just as every cop is a criminal And all the sinners Saints As heads is tails Just call me Nathanial 'Cause I'm in need of some restraint So if you meet me Have some courtesy Have some sympathy, and some taste Use all your well-learned politese Or I'll lay...your soul....to waste.....