HUMOROUS QUOTES
If everything seems to be coming your way, you're
probably going the wrong way on a one-way street
Most women would rather have beauty than brains
because men can see better than they can think
Never underestimate the power
of stupid people in large groups.
You spend your whole life believing that you're on the right track,
only to discover that you're on the wrong train
To err is human
To forgive is to err
One good thing about alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.
Sure God created man before woman..
but then you always make a rough draft before The Final Masterpiece.
Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature.
If your feet smell
and your nose runs,
you're built upside down.
I know they say love is blind,
but does it also have to be deaf, dumb, and stupid?
If you pulled the wings off of a fly,would it then be called a walk?
Is it ok for vegetarians to eat animal crackers?
Age doesn't always bring wisdom.
Sometimes age comes alone.
How can a one pound box of candy make you gain five pounds?
How do you know if sour cream goes bad?
Is it a coincidence that the word "politics" comes from the Latin roots with "poli" meaning many and "tics" meaning blood sucking insects?
"'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."
- Mark Twain
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. "
- Sir Winston Churchill
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
- Ingrid Bergman
If you wear glasses,is everything you see an optical illusion?
Computers allow us to make mistakes much faster than we ever could by hand
"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. "
- Wilson Mizner
There are two sure fire rules for a successful life
Rule#1 Don't tell people everything you know
Rule#2
"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. "
- Mark Twain
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