'NBtB Episode FM-004
November 23, 2000
Johnny Jacobs: Three of these boxes break the Cy$30,000 bank!
( box 16 lights up )
Is this one of them?
( box 5 lights up )
Or perhaps this one?
( box 2 lights up )
Or this one?
We'll find out in just a moment in our game of hide and seek, as these nine celebrities...
The hanging chad from Run for the Gold, Don Smith...
The swinging chad from The Big Risk, David Hammond...
The dimpled pregnant chad from Shoot the Works...( audience laughter ) Pat Patterson...
The big turkey from 'Net Survivor, Matt Betush...
The big turkey's cousin, from 'Net Survivor II, Tom Sabbatelli...
The mashed 'taters from First to 1,000,000, Jerry Depew...
The gravy from 'Net Bumper Stumpers, Doug Morris...
The cranberry sauce from 'Net Pass the Buck, David Frye III...
And the post-thanksgiving, post-election cleanup crew, Nathan Milliron...
All join us in playing...
'NET BREAK THE BANK!
And now, here's the host of 'Net Break the Bank, Joe Kristoff!
( cheers and applause )
Joe: Thank you, everybody! Thank you, Johnny Jacobs! Welcome to 'Net Break the Bank! Now normally, you hear Ernie Anderson at the announcer's helm, but he is on his holiday vacation and I would like to wish him a happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas. Johnny Jacobs is in Ernie's place. Welcome, Johnny.
Johnny: Good evening, Joe, and hello out there in TV land!
Joe: And there is also something special to tell everyone in the world of 'netgames. I will be reviving a recently cancelled yet popular 'netgame, and I will tell you all about it after Game 4. But now, Johnny, introduce our two contestants for us, please!
Johnny: Our returning champion is a bookkeeper from Louisville, Kentucky who so far has won a total of Cy$1500 in cybercash... meet Dave Isbell!
And his opponent is a blackjack dealer and courier from Kansas City, Missouri... meet Seth Feinberg!
Joe: Welcome to the show, you two, and good luck. Now, for those of you who have not seen Break the Bank back on ABC in 1976, here are the rules:
Our game board has various amounts of money in groups of three. There are also money bags scattered here and there. Here's what a typical board might look like:
( XXXX=blank; $$$$=money bag )
$500 $$$$ XXXX $$$$ XXXX
$500 $500 Wild 1000 1000
$$$$ XXXX 1500 1000 $$$$
XXXX 1500 1500 $$$$ XXXX
The three Cy$500 spaces touch each other, and so do the Cy$1000 and Cy$1500 spaces. The five money bags are scattered all over and a wild box that can be located anywhere and be used for any value (except as a money bag). The remaining boxes are blank, they have no value, but they do not touch each other along any of the sides. For every question used, you'll hear a true answer from one celebrity and a false one from the other. The first player to get three of the same money boxes wins, but whoever gets three money bags breaks our bank which is now worth...
So without more ado, Dave, you have the first pick off our board.
Dave: Thanks, Joe. Let's get started with box #7.
Joe: Behind the seven we have:
( boing! )
Too bad, Dave; better luck on your next turn. Seth, choose.
Seth:OK, well, let's see what is behind number 8....my favorite number...
Joe: And behind the eight is...
( ding! )
( cheers and applause )
All right, Seth, you can take the money bag and give control to Dave, or you can pass it up and choose again.
Seth: Let's turn it back to its neutral position and I'll pick again....
Joe: OK, back to the neutral position it goes. Next number, please...
Seth: Let's go for the 6....
Joe: Let's see what we have behind #6...
All right, Seth, here is your chance to earn some cash. Matt and David, here is question #1:
Matt: I'll say it's the Indians.
David H.: Arf! Arf! Arf! ( audience laughter ) The Bulldogs.
Joe: All right, Seth, to earn the square you have to tell me which star has the right answer.
Seth: I will go with David and the Bulldogs.
Joe: Sorry, Seth, it was the Indians. Dave gets Cy$1500 and control. Dave, choose a number.
Dave: Dave: It's gotta be either 11 or 1. Hmmm......Let's go to #1.
Joe: At least one of the boxes has Cy$1500. Is this one of them?
.
.
.
.
.
.
( ding! )
Wow, Dave! Do you want to take it or leave it and pick another box?
Dave: Oh, wow!! Hmmm.........Let's turn it back and go to #11.
Joe: We know there is a Cy$1500 space behind the 11, so show us, please...
Matt and Pat, What defunct football league attempted (but failed) to add a Canadian team, the Toronto Northmen, to its league?
Pat: Mmhmm... ( as Gilbert Gottfried: ) Well, I know a lot about this subject because I was a Football Player! ( audience laughter )( as himself: ) No, but really... I believe, and when I say this I mean I think it's the United States Football League.
Matt: I think it was Vince McMahon's XFL. ( audience laughter ) Nah, how about the World Football League?
Joe: Dave, for Cy$1500 more and two Cy$1500 boxes, who's right?
Dave: Yeah, Pat and I played on the same team. ( audience laughter ) Just kidding. I'll say the United States Football League.
Joe: Sorry, Matt, it was the World Football League; Seth gets Cy$1500 and blocks Matt's progress. Seth, your turn to pick a number.
Seth: Well geez, these sports questions are killing us, or should I say the pigskins are... ( audience laughter ) Let's go to another part of the board and maybe we'll get some other questions... Let's go to #4.
Joe: We have behind #4...
Question to Don and Doug:
What single letter do British people pronounce differently than American
people? Doug?
Doug: Single? Letter? Please, Joe, I'm trying to get over my latest
break-up. ( audience laughs ) Here... ( holds up piece of paper ) I got the
Dear John letter from my ex-g/f (ex-girlfriend) on my desk. ( wild audience laughter; prolonged applause ) Only kidding. Seriously though, I think the letter
Brits pronounce differently than us Yanks is the letter "V" ( makes letter V
with index and middle fingers ) for victory.
Dave: Funny. That letter looks like the one my ex-wife left me. It's a conspiracy! ( audience laughs )
Joe: Join us next time on 'Net Break the Bank when we have Doug and her ex
sit right next to each other on the panel. ( audience laughter ) Don?
Don ( snoring ): ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ... ( audience laughter as
Don resumes sleeping )
Joe: While we let Don sleep, I'll tell you that Doug said it was V, while
Don said it was Z. Tell me who is right.
Seth: Good, not a football question... This one I think I might know.... but
maybe not absolute... but I think the Z is pronounced differently in
Britain... It seems that V would be the same in both but maybe the Z is
slightly off dialect... Let's go with z and if not right I'll go back to
sleep as well until it is my turn again..... ( audience laughter )
Joe: Well, the British pronounce the Z "zed", so that is correct. You now
have Cy$2000 and control.
Seth: I would like to try at #2 next.....
Joe: Behind the 2 is...
Okay! The first time we had someone pick a wild card. Here's the question: What music personality's real name is Marshall Mathers?
Don: Who the heck is Marshall Mathers? Did he sing backup for the Byrds in
1973? ( audience laughter ) His real name is Sisqó.
Tom: Marshall Mathers? Sounds like a '50s sitcom star...but, it's Eminem. Of
course.
Joe: For that wild card, Seth, tell me who is correct.
Seth: Well, Tom sounds sure of himself...Let's go with Tom.
Joe: Good answer! You're right! Still your turn, Seth. Select.
Seth: #12.
Joe: Behind the 12 is...
What would you like to do with it?
Seth: I think I will keep the money bag and pass control.
Joe: All right. Seth has one money bag. Dave, select.
Dave: I'll go with #1. I remember this to be a money bag. I will keep the
money bag and give Seth control.
Joe: Things are starting to get interesting...Seth, your pick.
Seth: Well Joe, I think I am going to run back to number 8 because now we know that there is a money bag there and I am going to keep it and that will
give me 2 money bags.
Joe: And if Seth finds one more money bag he will be walking out of here with Cy$32,000 for his first game. Dave, can you stop it?
Dave ( feeling the tension in the air, starting to sweat ): #14.
Joe: Is there a money bag for Dave behind #14?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
( screams and cheers from audience )
Dave, I assume you want to keep that!
Dave: I do want that money bag!
Joe: Wow. Two money bags apiece. One more money bag remains and whoever finds it wins Cy$30,000. Seth, it is your turn.
Seth: Well, I could win if I go to 16 and Cy$4500 is not bad. . .but Cy$30,000 sure could be nice. . .Let's fish for that money bag. . .Let's go to #18. . .18, please be there!
Joe: Seth is going with #18.
WILL
SETH
FEINBERG
BE
TAKING
HOME
Cy$32,000?
( audience groans )
Shoot! No Cy$32,000, but you'll get another shot at the dough if you are correct in this. And for the first time in quite a while we're going to the celebs on this one. This is for Jerry and Nathan: "Ron Ely hosted the game show Face the Music. On what TV show based on a book did Ron originally appear?"
Jerry: Well, I saw all the movies. Wait, no, that was my friend, but my answer is
still Tarzan.
Nathan: ( snoring loudly )
Joe: Well, Seth, since Nathan didn't reply, I will give you Jerry's answer and one other answer:
Seth: I will go with Tarzan and hope. . . I remember the face. . . can't remember the show.
Joe: Seth, you are RIGHT! OK, Seth. You are in control. Finding that money bag will not only break the bank, but the money you win will be enough to become the all-time winner in this netgame's short-lived history. Choose, please.
Seth: ( breathing a sigh of relief on that one ) I hope the next question is not about Sandy Frank! ( audience laughter ) OK. . . Well, I guess this will be my last shot at it because I will get two of something with the wild card. . . or I will get a blank or I will get that fifth and final money bag. . . so this is for the cookies: #20.
Joe:OK, Seth.
If
that
money
bag
is
there
you
have
Cy$33,000
so
without
more
ado
is
it
there?
?
?
?
?
?
?
"What was Stanford (Calif.) University's original team nickname?" Matt?
Tarzan or Sherlock Holmes? A very crucial decision for you.
( loud cheers and applause; red, purple, orange and yellow balloons drop )
SETH!!! Seth, you did it!!! Cy$30,000 in cash! You broke the bank! We'll get back to you in a moment.
Dave, you did a great job and put up a good fight, but you were unable to repeat your title, but you do leave us with
and our congratulations. Dave Isbell, everybody!
( applause )
Seth, Cy$30,000 is a ton of cash, and you won it! We add that to the other Cy$3000 you earned and that gives you a one-game total of
plus you get to meet your second opponent, which we'll meet after this!
( cheers and applause )
