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Your sister sucks so much dick she could sell her spit to a sperm bank! Your dad is like cement, it takes him two days to get hard! Your mom is like an elevator - if you push the right button she'll go down on you! Your mom is like a shotgun - one cock and she's ready to blow. Your mom is like a racecar - she can burn four rubbers in one night! The only difference between your mother and a subway is that not EVERYBODY has ridden a subway. Your mom has a pussy on her hip, so she can make money on the side! You were jerking off in a plastic bag and somebody asked "What are you doing?" and you said: "Packing my lunch." You remind me of a toilet bowl - fat, round, and full of shit. When I see a christmas card that says "Ho-Ho-Ho!", I know to address it to your mom. You're so horny that the last time you felt a breast it came from your mother! Your dick is so small that if they took it to court, they would have to throw it out for lack of evidence. Your mom is like a TV set, anyone can turn her on. Your mom is like a gas station - eventually everyone gets a pump. Your momma's so fat she uses a VCR for a beeper! Your mom is so fat she ordered a double room for a singles weekend! Your mom is so fat that she irons her clothes in the highway! Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish when eating lunch. Your mom is so fat that she had to get baptized at sea world! Your mom is so fat that people could use her underwear as parachutes! Your mom is so fat that she's got more chins than chinatown! Your mom is so fat that you gotta grease the tub to get her in the bath! Your mom is so fat that cars run out of gas just trying to pass her ass! Your mom is so fat she's gotta sleep in a barn with the rest of the cows. Your mom is like a vacuum cleaner, turn her on and she sucks! I'll hit you so hard, that by the time you come down, you'll need a passport and a plane ticket back! I'll hit you so hard, that you'll have to take off your shoes to shit! I'll hit you so hard, that you'll have to unzip your pants to say hi! I'll hit you so hard, that your kids will be born dizzy! I'll hit you so hard, that your whole family will fall! Excuse me, I can't seem to find my dick. Mind if I look in your mother's mouth? Are those your balls, or did Laurel and Hardy leave you their heads? Is that an accent, or is your mouth just full of sperm? If I would had 10 bucks, I could have been your dad! I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change. You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on. I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet. When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say your stupidity. Well I'll see you in my dreams - if I get nightmares. I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is definately the real thing. You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you. Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another? The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I hate you. If you get run over by a car it shouldn't be listed under accidents. All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you. Ever since I saw myself in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down. I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much money. I hear that when your mother first saw you she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion - now she believes in a murder. No one should be punished for an accident of birth but you look too much like a wreck not to be. Yours was an unnatural birth - you came from a human being. You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and then you came. You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet. I hear that the only place you're ever invited is outside. I would like the pleasure of your company but it only gives me displeasure. At your talking speed you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your skull. If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny. Don't you have a terribly empty feeling... in your skull? You have nothing to fear from my baser instincts - it's my finer ones that tell me to kill you. It's your life... but I wish you'd let us have it. I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat. I think you should live for the moment. But after that I doubt I'll think so. I believe in respect for the dead. In fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead. I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief, and a cheat. You have a face only your mother could love - and she hates it! You never strike out blindly - you fail in the light. You are a quivering blob of protoplasm. Your life means nothing to me. Go crawl under a rock and die. May thousand camels step on your body. Your admission to this university of life was a terrible mistake. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. You have the personality of a sewer rat. If a group of traveling elephants came by, they'd ask you to lead them. Your sense of humor is nearly as bad as mine. You have the talent of a smelly sweat sock. Have you nothing better to do with your time than punishing us with your presence? May thirty million ants make their home in your appartment. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of vinegar! May all your computerized homework assignments crash. If you sold umbrellas, it would never rain. If you sold tombstones, no one would ever die. If you sold hats, babies would be born without heads. You have the intelligence of a parrot and that's a compliment. You have the wisdom of King Solomon's pet horse, Herman. What's the matter, you're not insecure enough already? I have better things to do than waste my valuable time insulting a slimeball. You were an accident. ME? Insult YOU? You're asking ME to insult YOU? You piece of monkey vomit. You've got people in line waiting to insult you - but YOU need a computer? May a giant sealion swallow your mother. May your spouse agree with your mother-in-law about EVERYTHING. May your next romantic encounter be interrupted by a large nuclear explosion. You have the good looks of a pregnant water buffalo. You are a prehistoric gastropod. Do you enjoy being put down or something? Have you got an insult fixation? They offer psychiatric help for people like you. You couldn't get a job as a firing squad target. You are a small plastic baggie full of whale droppings and dragon drool. May your shoelace come untied as you ride your bike. May a particularly vicious breed of black beetle make it's home in your nose. May your nose run like the river Missisippi. We used to make jokes about plates of food that looked like you. Where I come from they shoot people like you. Either you're severely brain-damaged, or the new vacuum cleaner has arrived. Buzz off, bagel-brains! Beat it, banjo-brains! If you wanted to hang yourself, you would grab a knife. You get lost trying to go crazy. May a giant hopping potato from Pluto flatten your friends. May a thousand Klingon Dreadnoughts obliterate your hometown. You are as graceful as a dead mouse. You have the taste of a lobotomized squirrel. You have the charisma of deep-fried triceratops. You *&@$%@$%@ ! Go back to sleep. You lack of human intelligence. Don't you have a home to go to? If you do, I bet you're not wanted there. May the Interpol place a 100000$ warrant on you. May your left nostril turn inside out while you sleep. Your new DALNet nickname: slimepuddle-spitface! I would like to blow my nose on you. You are the sort of person people emigrate to avoid. Is this you or a lardball which I see before me? Go put yourself out of my misery! May a World War II cannon shoot at your eyeballs. May a maniacal hippopotamus mangle your liver. Bug off, band-aid-brains! If you struck oil, it would be a pipeline. It's people like you who give scum a bad name. You have the popularity of a midieval plague. You have the aptitude of a stale spaghetti noodle. Get stuffed. Go jump off the world. You are the natural son of a Martian slime-devil. Take a long walk off a short cliff! Noone else let's you touch them exept your keyboard. Can u hang baby ??? |
