Disclaimer: Most of the kids are mine. All the rest are Marvel's or DC's. No money. Notes: I dunno how this came about. It just did.
Rachel Summers sat on the rec room floor in the Massachusetts Academy with a photo album on her lap. She examined it, and turned it upside down. "I dunno. It just says 'I propose' on the front. I swiped it from the attic before we left New York two years ago. I completely forgot about it till today. Guess rain does that to you." She looked to the window, and it was still pouring and thundering outside.
Joey Cassidey walked over and looked down. "Have you opened it yet?"
Rachel shook her head.
Joey sat down next to her. "Well, let's have a look."
Rachel opened it up to reveal a picture, which appeared to show Rachel's mother, Jean, kicking Bobby Drake in the butt.
"What the hell?"
"Here," said Joey. "There's a caption. 'After a three hour conversation, Jean finally gets fed up with Bobby for making excuses on why not to ask Illyana to marry him. She resorts to the kind violence you only see in Jean when she's really pissed off.'"
"Jean, calm down!"
"How can I calm down when he contradicts everything I say, Scott? EVERYTHING!!"
"Aww.... My ass..." Bobby moaned.
"You are going to ask that girl to marry you," Jean whispered to him. "Or you'll get a two-by-four psionically shoved up your-"
Rachel snickered as she looked at the next picture, which was of Bobby and Illyana kissing, as she held a small black box in her hand. "'It worked,'" Rachel read.
"After... a lot of prodding, threatening, and thinking, I came to the conclusion that there's only one direction for our relationship to go." Bobby stood in front of Illyana. She was curled up in on a huge armchair, looking in a large, old-looking book. "Are you even listening to me?"
"Yeah," she replied distantly, not looking up. "Sure, Bobby."
"So, if I asked you to marry me right now, you'd say 'Sure, Bobby'?"
That made her look up. "Scuse me?"
Bobby got up out of the chair, and helped her up out of hers. He got down on one knee, and Illyana raised an eyebrow. "You're scaring me. Are you sick?" She put a hand to his forehead. "No fever. But maybe you should go lie down?"
Bobby sighed. He dug in his pocket for about a minute.
"Hold on." He finally got the small black box from the bottomless pit that was his pants pocket. "Illyana, will you marry." He tried to flip open the box, but it didn't work. He tried again, and it popped.
Illyana stared down at him. She grabbed him by the shirt collar and dragged him to his feet. "I... I think I say yes."
Bobby nodded sadly. "I understand," he said. "You're not- did you just say yes?"
Illyana repressed her laughter, and nodded.
He took her in his arms, and kissed her.
"Hey, wot's up?" asked an accented voice from behind them.
"You gotta look at this, Connie," said Joey.
Connie Wisdom walked over to them and sat down. She looked at the pictures and laughed. "Where'd you find this?" She sat down, forming a triangle with her two friends.
Rachel shrugged. She turned the page to reveal a picture of X-Force, sans Domino, attacking their leader, Nate Summers, Rachel's older brother. "What the..."
"'After years of waiting,'" Joey began to read. "'X-Force decided it was time to knock Nate to his senses, and beat him up for not asking Domino to marry him more than twenty years ago.' Go Terry!" Joey pointed to the redhead in picture who was helping to try and pull Nate apart. "That's muh sis."
"Dammit, Nate!!" cried James. "ASK HER!!"
"Get off me!!!"
"Not until you promise!!" Tab screamed.
"I'm not promising anything!!!!" Cable told them.
"Give in!!" Tab cried.
"You know you're scared we're gonna beat you!" Roberto yelled.
"Are you kidding?!" Cable retorted. "I've had dirty underwear scarier than you!!"
"AH! Terry! I think I'm deaf," Cable whispered.
"Nate, why don't ya just ask her? We all know ya want to."
"This is all your doing, isn't it, Guthrie?!"
Sam smirked. "Ah wasn't voted team leader while ya were away fer nothin, y'know..."
"Oath, Sam, if I EVER get out of this, you die!"
"There's a key word in there," Tabby said. "If."
They turned their attention to the next picture, which showed Domino in a white wedding dress. She looked miserable.
"Why can't I wear black?!"
"Because, it's not traditional."
"But... I'm not traditional..."
"Domino," Jean pleaded. "Please don't wear black."
"But I hate wearing all white. I look awful."
Jean looked her soon-to-be daughter-in-law over. "Well, it doesn't look... that bad."
"Jean, please," Domino said seriously. "Have mercy."
Rachel laughed hardest. "No wonder she won't let me see the pictures!" She turned the page to reveal John Constantine dragging a very distressed Pete Wisdom into some type of portal. In the background was a very pleased-looking Romany Wisdom, Pete's sister. "Uh-oh."
"'After many expletives, John and Romany finally convinced Pete to ask Kitty to marry him by dragging him into hell,'" Connie read. She smiled. "This ought t' be good."
"JOHN! GET OFF ME!! ROMANY, DO SOMETHING!!!"
Romany stood back. "No. This is amusing."
"C'mon, Pete, mate. Don't be a ponce. Let's take a trip..."
"I ain't goin!"
"Yes you are!"
"Fuck you, Conjob, I ain't goin!" Pete began to pry his way out of the portal John had conjured up. He was almost out, when John grabbed his leg, and yanked him back. Pete disappeared.
"Ha, ha, ya friggin bastard!" John smiled at Romany. "Be back!" He ducked in, and they were gone.
"This ought to work," Romany muttered to herself. "By the time they get out, he'll be good and ready to marry Kitty."
They looked to the next picture, which showed Pete and Kitty being lifted up in chairs by Nate, Logan, Brian, Guido, Monet, Rogue, and Jean's telepathy. Pete looked very distressed, and was holding on for dear life. Kitty, however, looked extremely happy.
"'He's heavier than he looks,'" Joey read. "Connie, what are they doing?"
"Wisdom...." Nate ground his teeth. "You're so heavy. How can you look like a twig, and be so heavy."
"I eat like a bloody pig, then I get my ass kicked."
Brian came up and grabbed part of the chair. "Here, Nathan, let me help."
"Wisdom," Brian wheezed. "Lose weight."
"It's called Hava Nagila," Connie explained. "It's a dance you do at Jewish weddings an the like. Ya lift people up in chairs an toss 'em around, basically."
"Cool!" cried a new voice. Dave McCoy walked up to them and sat down. "Connie, your dad looks pretty stressed there. In both pics."
Connie laughed. "E's always like that."
Rachel turned the page to a picture of four out of five of the original X-Men looking stressed in the background, while in front, Hank McCoy proposed to Trish Tilby.
"'I don't think I've ever seen Scott make that face,'" Dave read from the caption.
The kids laughed, except for Dave.
"Dude! That's not funny!"
"Sorry, Dave," Rachel replied, trying to stop laughing. "We don't mean it, really."
"I don't believe it," Bobby muttered. "She's a bitch..."
"Now, Bobby, this is Hank's choice," Jean told him. "If he wants to marry Trish, he will."
"He's just gonna get hurt," Warren muttered. "And when that happens, I think Trish will die."
"Come on, you two," Scott replied. "Be fair."
"We are..." Bobby replied.
"She's a bitch," They chorused.
"Shhh," Jean scolded. "She'll hear."
"I don't care!" Bobby yelled. "I'm gonna let the whole world know that Trish Tilby is a- BBMMMMFF!!"
Jean grabbed his mouth with her hand, and stopped him from shouting out the obscenity.
"Bamf?" asked Scott with a wry smirk. "I don't see Kurt anywhere."
"Wonder why there are no other pics for that?" asked Jesse Munroe from over Rachel's shoulder.
"Doesn't that just say it all?" asked Connie.
Joey nodded. "Sure."
The next picture was of Remy Lebeau being shot at by Raven Darkholme.
"So that's why Remy asked Rogue to marry him," Jesse concluded, sitting next to Rachel. "Go, Raven!"
"Never thought I'd hear you say that," said Rachel.
"I'll make an exception," Jesse shrugged.
"'Raven decided not to bother with a conversation, and went straight for her gun,'" Joey read.
"Raven, can't we talk dis out, Chere?!" Remy cried, scrambling to his feet.
"No," Raven replied. "You either pop the question to my daughter, or I'm gonna kill you."
The next picture was of a very surprised Rogue, as Remy held out a ring. He didn't look too comfortable.
"Rogue," Remy squeaked. "Will you marry me?"
Her eyes widened. "Why, Remy... Ah... Ah... O' course Ah'll marry you!"
Remy sighed in relief.
"Whoa, what's that?" asked Sharona, looking at the picture.
"It's your dad proposing to Rogue," Jesse replied.
Sharona nodded. "Umm... Proposing... what?"
They all stared at her. Then, they remembered, she didn't know much about this sort of thing, growing up in Sinister's lab.
"Marriage," Dave told her.
Sharona sat down. "Oh! Okay. Can I look?"
Rachel turned the book so she could see it.
"Whoa. Dad looks like he's gonna throw up."
Joey looked down at the caption. "'Raven's tactics may not have been graceful, but they worked.'"
Rachel turned the page. Got one good look, then turned it again.
"What was it?" asked Dave.
"My parents. We'll skip."
Jesse rolled his eyes. "You're no fun."
"Wow, what are you all doing?" Angela Worthington sat down next to Joey.
"Marriage proposals," Joey answered.
Rachel looked on the next page. "Oh, look! It's Kurt and Amanda! Looks like their fight with the Hellfire Club… again."
"Dag, look at those swords!" Jesse cried.
"Their awesome," Joey said.
"Marry me, Amanda!" Kurt cried.
"Yes, really! Mien Gott! You think I'd joke at a time like this?!"
"No!" Amanda yelled. "I mean, yes! I'll marry you!"
"We'll go honey-mooning! London! Paris! Spain! Germany!"
"Not Germany!" Amanda said back. "I'm not dealing with Mother."
"Okay, not Germany! We'll have a dozen children or so!"
Amanda stopped fighting. "I don't think I wanna marry you anymore, Fuzzy."
"Excalibur! Amanda and I are getting married!" Kurt called out to his team.
"Wonderful, Kurt!" Kitty called through gritted teeth, fighting off another minion. "Really."
"Though, maybe ya shoulda told us this when we weren't gettin our arses beat!" Pete yelled.
"Ach, shut up, Wisdom. You'll ruin the mood."
"That's his job, Kurt," Doug replied. He kicked a guard in the mouth. "I'm very happy for you both. I'm available for babysitting if the wages are good!"
"Man, Excalibur is nuts!" Dave cried.
"You just noticed?" asked Joey.
The next picture showed Doug Ramsey being chased by Moira MacTaggart.
Joey laughed. "Yeah, Mom!"
Rachel looked at the caption. "'Thanks to Colossus and Wisdom for this picture. The one any only time they ever really worked well together."
"Ye've been dating long enough!"
"I'm not ready for a commitment!"
"Li' 'ell ye're not!"
Doug ran. He ran fast. He was running from Moira MacTaggart. She was chasing him with a thermometer. Doug had had the flu for weeks, and Moira had been taking care of him. The subject of marriage had come up because Doug had been dating Moira's daughter, Rahne for a year and a half, and had not, as of yet, produced a ring. Moira, in addition to Rahne, had been getting restless.
Moira chased Doug, who was only wearing a t-shirt and his plaid boxers, up the stairs to the living quarters.
"Why are you doing this?! I'm a sick man!"
"Ye'll be a dead man if ye donnae pop th' question!!"
The two ran past a doorway where Pete and Piotr were standing.
"Now, Rasputin!" Pete cried.
Piotr clicked the camera, and the flash went off.
"Dude," Joey said in awe. "That was awesome."
"That's where the book stops," said Rachel.
"I wonder who wrote that," Dave pondered, scratching his hairless chin.
Jesse took the book from Rachel and examined the captions. His eyes widened, and he could barely squeak out his next words. "DUDE!!!!!" he cried. "That's Xavier's handwriting!!"