Send questions/comments/whatever to (snif!) Oh, MAN! I promised myself I wouldn't cry, b-but, I'm gonna MISS givin' you guys my e-mail address (a-huh-huh-huuuuuhhh!)... mike_p_smith@prodigy.net

FINAL Disclaimer: This story features Superman and the cast of the Tenchi Muyo! OAV... and it's almost over (snork!)... OK, enough of that. Those guys are trademarks of DC Comics and AIC/Pioneer LDC. This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don't archive without my permission. Don't be shy.

FINAL Continuity Note: It's set sometime after OAV #13 "Here Comes Jurai". What's more, since this is the last chapter and all, a teeny li'l bit takes place AFTER the events of SUPERMAN v.2 #165, instead of the usual before, like the rest of the story. I know, I know, I'm the only one who cares... bear with me.


It's the (snif) FINAL chapter to
THE INHUMAN CONDITION 27:
THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN AND TENCHI

by Mike Smith


It had been true. If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he never would have believed it, but it was true.

Lord Fudou had brought Komrebi to him, a Juraian half-breed and expatriate returning a lost son to the courts of his people. That would have been enough, but Fudou showed him how Komorebi was more than a mere man--showed him powers and abilities that made Komorebi the mightiest Jurai of all. It was only fitting to arrange a marriage between the amazing young man and his eldest daughter. It made perfect sense, after all, and when the day came for him to step down, Jurai would have a stong king, with Ayeka by his side to guide the empire into a prosperous future. It was only fitting.

Too fitting, as he soon learned. Ayeka objected to the idea, claiming that Komorebi was a sham, an alien being who had become the victim of a cruel mental tampering which made him forget his true nature. More, she insisted Lord Fudou was also a man called "Legion" who plotted against the house of Jurai and had ruthlessly manaipulated her and her friends. She demanded that any engagement plans be cancelled at once, and that her friends be allowed to restore Komorebi to his own mind before "Legion" could use him to establish a puppet ruler over the Empire.

And he refused to listen. Ayeka was a mature girl, but still contrary, still willful when she didn't get her way. He ignored her warnings, thinking she only wanted to get out of the marriage and reamain on Earth with her friends. And Tenchi. Always Tenchi. So he ordered a contest between Tenchi and Komorebi to settle the matter once and for all. And not only did Tenchi miraculously win, but he was able to restore Komorebi to his true self just in time to stop Lord Fudou's mad plan to sabotage their ship and leave the entire Jurai Royal Family (and a good deal of the noble class who had been on board to witness the battle) on a barren world orbiting a remote red sun, with no hope of escape or rescue. Ayeka was vindicated, but too late, as Fudou promised he would take control of Jurai while they were helplessly stranded on Boel II.

Almost too late, but not quite, for Tenchi restored Komorebi just in the nick of time, and with his power returned, he caught Fudou's getaway ship and forced him to tow them out of danger. Once they were clear of Boel II's magnetic fields, Ayeka's friends, the human Steel and the mad scientist Washuu, were able to resotre communications and summon a Jurai patrol ship to provide further assistance.

So now he stood there, on the bridge of one of his royal yachts, balling his fists and squinting his eyes as he tried to recover from the feeling of utter powerlessness he'd suffered only minutes ago. Fudou--Legion, as the man seemed to prefer to be called--he had been manipulating him from the start. His plan was foolproof, but somehow it was Tenchi who found a way to beat him. And now it was this man... a "Kryptonian" he'd said, now that he had his memories back. He would handle the rest it seemed. He captured the crew of Legion's ship single handedly, took control of their vessel, and now he was leading Ayeka's friends as they rounded up the prisoners and took them to the yacht's brig deck. A born commander, to be sure. He had been a strong, charasmatic man as Komorebi, but now that he was free of Legion's brainwashing, he was all the more imposing. It was true what Ayeka said, how the people of Earth called him--

"Superman," he heard him say as he stopped what he was doing to answer the questions of a few noblemen. "My real name, where I truly come from. No, sir, I'm not a Juraian. It was a trick from the start. But everything's under control, and if you'll please return to your guest quarters, I promise you that you'll be back home as soon as possible."

Tenchi's gambit hadn't been a perfect solution. Superman's powers were dependent on light from yellow stars, and without one in the vicinity, he had to recharge him with energy from his sword. It had been enough to stop Legion and save the day, but the power was rapidly leaving him, as sparks of golden light leaped off of his body at random intervals and dissipated into nothingness. Even as he leaned against a wall in surrender to fatigue, he still commanded respect from all around him. Respect... among other emotions...

"Oooooh, Komorebi!" Miaski cried out as she leaped onto the unsuspecting man and began to embrace him with a grip that could likely suffocate a lesser being. His second wife wasn't one to prevaricate in sitautions like this.

"Unnnf! Please ma'am!" Superman protested. "There's a lot I have to take care of right now, and these energy discharges from my body may be unsafe and--was that my ribs?"

"I'm just so sorry you'll have to leave us now," she gushed. "We had so much fun on Jurai, and even if you were being used, you were like a part of the family--!"

She wasn't the only one to feel this way, as his youngest daughter, Sasami, approached him to tug on his cape. "I'm really sorry I tricked you into putting that suit back on, Superman," she said softly, almost penitently, "but I thought, well..."

"It's all... eergh... all right, Sasami," Superman said, trying to offer a reassuring smile with her mother squeezing him like a ripe fruit. "It is mine, after all. To be honest, I tore off my Juraian clothes on instinct, so if it hadn't been for you, I would have had to save the day naked!"

"Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it, Cowboy," Ryoko teased as she entered the ship through the access tunnel that led to the captured R'Nagg vessel. She was busy shoving Sole Jurisdiction crewmen ahead of her and into the custody of the royal guardsmen waiting for her at the entrance. "You guys are doin' bang-up work, y'know?" she said cheerfully to the officers as they led the prisoners away. "Should talk to Ayeka or somebody about getting a raise. I know her pretty well, and believe you me, she can definitely afford it--oof!"

Her rambling was cut short when Ayeka came up from behind her and elbowed her in the side. "Pay her no mind, gentlemen. I'd recommend Brig F for these... guests... A particularly dank and unpleasant section if I remember correctly. And see if you can get them to pick up their feet a little. Ryoko couldn't seem to motivate them properly, and I doubt these men planned to make a leisurly stroll onto the streets of Jurai's capital...."

She and Ryoko began to argue, and Superman took the opportunity to excuse himself. "I think I need to get back to work, ma'am," he suggested cordially as he slowly wrestled free of her hold on him. Asuza sighed and furrowed his brow. Everything was under control, it seemed. Everything save his own frustration.

As if sensing his thoughts, a tap on his shoulder broke his concentration. He looked around to find his first wife, Funaho, standing behind him. "Is everything all right?" she asked him.

"Fine," he grumbled flatly.

"I see..." she nodded. "I was wondering... do you think now might be a good time to apologize to Mr. Superman for what happened here today? And Tenchi, for that matter?"

He shifted his stare from her face to notice the young man standing away from the bustle and traffic of the bridge, being looked over by his allies as they tended to the injuries he suffered battling Superman. Washuu seemed to be using materials from the yacht's medical bay, perhaps because she hadn't brought any of her own supplies with her on this journey, and the Earthling Steel was examining his examining one of his knees, possibly determining the extent of some lingering pain. There was also the X'vyv'ian man Cogito, but he appeared to be there only to offer moral support. In any case, Tenchi seemed relieved to be done with the entire ordeal, and despite the stern expression on his face, Asuza could see the look of satisfaction Tenchi had over a successful venture.

He'd seen it in the mirror often enough in his life.

Funaho prodded him for a response, but before he could speak, another group came on board through the access way. Again, security led them away, but finally one last man came stumbling onto the bridge, followed by a blonde with a handgun.

"--Pick up the pace! That's right, keep it moving, keep it moving--oh! I didn't realize we were already here," Mihoshi Kuramitsu said as she escorted the final man off the R'Nagg ship. "I guess I'm used to Galaxy Police designs, where the umbilical cord is required to be at least seven hundred meters to conform to Union regulations..."

"Legion," Superman announced darkly. "Then all of them are accounted for, I take it?"

"Last one," Ryoko confirmed as she grabbed the half-Jurai by the restriants behind his back and steadied his stance with a forceful shove. "So, if a patrol ship is already on the way to pick us up, that just leaves one question: What do we do with this guy?"

"I already told you, Ryoko," Mihoshi answered. She shook her sidearm and looked at a readout on the side, then put it away with a disappointed moan. "With everything he's done, it's a cinch that he'll spent the next several decades in prison. I mean, wow, how hard is that?"

"Prison," Legion scoffed. He straightened his posture and let a mocking grunt escape his lips. "And for how long, do you suppose? Fifty years? A hundred? And when I'm released I can arrange to do this all over again two centuries after you're dead, Detective."

"I wouldn't be so confident, Legion," Ayeka snapped. "We stopped your mad plan this time. It'll take a lot more than a Juraian lifespan to recover from a defeat like this."

"Is that so, Lady Ayeka?" Legion snarled. "Granted, you stopped me. Obviously I didn't succeed. I failed to anticipate Superman's miraculous comeback at the critical moment. And while I didn't expect failure, I ceratinly wasn't foolish enough not to consider it. You forget, I carry within me the spirits of three criminals Superman once executed. With my arcane rituals to bind them to me, I can devise a new plan no matter how isolated a confinement you could devise. Or you could have me killed, just as Superman killed them. I told you before that I have no fear of death, not when the four of us can simply discover some new mystic who can provide us with a means to return to this plane of existence. After all, I'm hardly the only R'Nagg in the Sole Jurisdiction with an understanding of the black arts, my dear."

"Oh, he's so full of it it's coming out his ears!" Ryoko contested. "Throw him in the deepest hole in Jurai, Ayeka. He wants to spook us with ghost stories, let him do it behind bars."

"Hmmph! Jurai wasn't founded on impulse, Changeling," Legion glowered. "Even if I were lying--and I assure you I'm not--the danger I pose is too real to dismiss. Imagine what harm I might do under a different set of circumstances. I'd know exactly how to deal with each of you, and you wouldn't even know I was doing it until it was too late. No, I invite whatever retribution you can possibly think to bring against me. Just so long as you know it won't do you the slightest bit of good."

"So on the one hand," Ryoko mused, "we can kill you and you come back to haunt us, or we can let you rot in some cell for a few lifetimes, so you can find a way to come back and haunt us." She paced around Legion and growled quietly in irritation. "Isn't there some way we could split the difference here? Break his thumbs, maybe? At least we'd feel better in the short run..."

Asuza grunted to himself at this. Ryoko might have been a reformed criminal, but she was clearly a novice when it came to meting out justice. Not that anyone else seemed to have anything better to suggest, and Legion was and unusual case to say the least.

There was a relative calm in the bridge save for Legion's self-satisfied snorting, and then the sound of someone clearing his throat. "Ah, excuse me," Tenchi spoke up. He and the trio of scientists moved over to gather with the rest of them and Superman put his hand on his shoulder.

"Hope I didn't hurt you too badly back there, Tenchi," he offered meekly.

"Oh, well, it's nothing that won't heal," the boy replied. "Really I'm more worried about what you've been through... but I heard you guys talking and it gave me an idea. Ryoko made it clear: we can't kill him or let him live, but that's only because of his connection to the dead, right? He's possessed with three evil spirits, and as long as he's tied in with them he can do whatever he likes. So it sounds to me like what we need is an exorcism." He rolled his head around to work the kinks out of a sore neck. "I mean, once we get the ghosts out of his body, he's just another guy, right?"

"Well, at least he'd be a guy I'd feel safer locking away, yes," Superman said. "Go on."

"Um, that was it, really," Tenchi said under his breath. "I mean, my grandpa's a Shinto priest, and he's done exorcisms before to drive out evil spirits from things, but I'm not sure if this would be the same thing or not."

"I'm inclined to agree, Superman," Steel added. "The last time Zod and his cronies manifested themselves as ghosts, it was part of a plot by one of the Justice League's old foes. Superman dispelled their astral forms using a lightning bolt and an ordinary iron rod. We can safely establish that these aren't your run of the mill evil spirits... and I can't believe I just said that..."

"In that case, I believe I may have a possible application for Tenchi's idea," Cogito suddenly announced. Everyone turned to the small green man and he held up the remains of the device they had used on Superman earlier. "Ah, yes... well, Legion's arrangement here would be dependent on his knowledge of the arcane practices he uses to stay in contact with these... beings. If he were unable to employ those techniques, then the connection would be severed, correct?"

Up until now Washuu had been uncharacteristically quiet, but Cogito's radical idea was apparently enough to loosen her tongue. "Unable..." the small girl cooed, a wicked smile growing on her lips. "Unable to stay in touch with the spirit world... Such as, for example, if he suddenly FORGOT how? Yeeeah, I like it!"

"Uh, I'm afraid I don't understand," Mihoshi piped in. "How is he supposed to forget?"

"WE USE THE SAME MACHINE HE USED TO ALTER OUR MEMORIES!" Ryoko screamed. "SHEESH!"

"Oh, right!" Mihoshi said as her eyes lit up with realization. "It must have slipped my mind."

Ryoko wandered to the nearest bulkhead and started banging her head against it repeatedly.

"A-heh... Don't worry about her, folks. She'll be back later," Washuu said. "Point is, that's brilliant, Cogito! We can fix him up real nice... erase every memory of the occult, Jurai, the Sole Jurisdiction, his mad-on for all of us... We can make him anything we want him to be... even...!" Her specualtion began to break down into maniacal laughter.

"Not so fast, Professor," Superman said, clasping a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. "The idea here is to stop Legion from hurting anyone else, not to satisfy some twisted curiosity or revenge fantasy."

"YOUR idea, Kal," Washuu challenged, "but not mine. Way I figure it, this guy should be a submoron polishing my diploma case for the next few millennia or so."

"I don't mean to be argumentative, Mr. Kal-El," Ayeka piped in, "but after what you've been through at the hands of Mr. Cogito's technology, how can you even suggest using it on someone else, even for just purposes? What right do any of us have to alter a man's mind against his will--?"

"Actually!" Mihoshi interrupted, "Actually, there's a precedent set in the penal code of Sigsibus V... or was that Faefibus VI? Well, anyway, it's not unheard of to employ an unusual method if it's the only way to confine a dangerous criminal. I need to look that up though, if I can find my--"

"There's always the Phantom Zone," Superman considered. "But I don't think that's necessarily more humane than rewriting his memory--"

"Oh, that's your solution to everything," Washuu harumphed.

The true measure of a ruler was in his patience. Asuza's had run out. "HEY!" he shouted, loud enough to capture all of their attentions and focus them squarely on him. He composed himself and resumed speaking in a more dignified tone. "The matter is not for you to decide. Any of you." There was a sudden flash of recognition in their eyes, a sort of nonverbal 'oh right, he's the king' expression that put a close on their debate. He closed his eyes and smirked slightly, then stared right through Legion. "Lord Fudou has orchestrated an attack on a Jurai vessel, he has attempted to deceive the Juraian Emperor, and he has done so within Juraian space. Additionally, he is half-Jurai, all of which makes him more than accountable under Jurai law. My law."

"My ashhmmmph!" Washuu tried to say before Superman clasped a hand over her mouth.

"You're right, of course, sir," Superman admitted. "So you've heard the options. What do you intend to do?"

"Mister Cogito?" Asuza called. "This... procedure you propose. How long would it take to implement?"

The man from X'vyv'x gulped audibly and then put a thin finger to his chin. "Given that my equipment has already been successfully calibrated for Juraian engrams, I imagine it would be a simple matter to adjust for Fudou's dual heiritage. A week, at most, Sire."

"Then I leave it to you, Fudou," Asuza said firmly. "Ayeka is right, and I will not violate your mind against your will, but I have no qualms about having you executed on the spot. Your attack on us will be considered an act of war by the Sole Jurisdiciton, and your father's people will suffer untold bloodshed for years all because of you. I'd rather it not come to that. Would you?"

He seemed to consider this for a moment, then suddenly his jaw slackened and his eyes opened wide as if he was having some sort of siezure, then an haughty sneer fromed on his face and he spoke with an altered voice. "Hah! Those green-skinned fleshbags make no difference to us!" Legion laughed. "And death is hardly a threat to ones such as ourselves, fool!"

And again, with a different face, and a falsetto tone, but no less defiant than the last. "What do your political powers mean to the likes of us? Superman already killed us long ago, and Legion might well accomplish far more as one of us than in this mortal frame!"

And once more. "Tell him, Fudou!" he bellowed. Tell him you'd rather die than surrender to his puny judgements."

He paused, and then his expression suddenly changed from fury to resignation. "I consent, Asuza," Legion said. "Do it."

His face began to twist and shift as the inhabitants of his body struggled from within. "What! No! Fudou, don't be stupid! He's just playing on your emotions--"

"And he's doing a better job of it that you, Quex-Ul. It's over. Nothing left to do than negotiate the terms of surrender. I have no great love for either of my people, but I see little to be gained in having one desicively crush the other. Better to cash out now, and perhaps one day the Sole Jurisdiction will become strong enough that they and Jurai can wipe each other out."

"Idiot! We can still win! Death is just a door for us... even if you die, the four of us can find some new host and--"

"--and fail. Again. No, General, I would prefer to be a live failure than a dead one. Joining with the three of you for such a long time has given me a new perspective on the afterlife. It suits you. But not me. Not now." And at last he regained his somber composure.

"Very well," Asuza finally declared. He motioned for a pair of guards to take him away. "You will be sedated until such time as Mister Cogito has prepared his instruments. That is all."

Legion let his arms go limp as the Jurai guards took hold of him.

"For what it's worth, I can respect your decision, Fudou," Superman said to him. "And I appreciate your willingness to go quietly. There's no need for any further animosity between us. Perhaps it could be arranged for you to be integrated with a society on Earth, and--"

His offer was cut short by a wad of phlegm that struck him on the "S" shield of his costume.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Man of Steel?" Legion grumbled bitterly. He leered at him for a moment and then faced Tenchi and frowned at him menacingly. "Both of you would just love that. The prodigal freak comes to live on the paradise planet with his fellow mongrels and misfits and castaways. Maybe the Changeling and I could start a whirlwind courtship, marry in the spring, and you could all toss cherry blossoms or birdseed or whatever it is you people do.

"Well you're wrong. You didn't defeat me because you relied on each other. I failed to defeat you because I relied on allies of my own. In the end, they failed, as allies always do. Be warned, Superman. Tenchi. I may never regain my memory, but if by some miracle I do... you'll NEVER be safe again." He glared at the two of them and then at everyone else. "ANY of you. I'll finish what I started. Alone. As it should be. Remember that."

Tenchi just stared at him in shock, perhaps trying to fathom just how a man could become so consumed with hatred, and Superman simply looked down at his chest and wiped the spittle away.

"My only request is that I be sent to live on the planet below," Legion said to Asuza. "I have already determined that it's capable of supporting life, so it's no better or worse than anywhere else. After that, just leave me alone." And with that, he motioned to the guards that he was ready to leave.

"You can't do this to me, Fudou! You tree-spawned germ!" Legion suddenly screamed. "No one does this to Zod! I'll raze your planet and burn you alive, you hear me?" But his protestations were ignored, and soon he was out of the atrium, and out of earshot.

"Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy," Ryoko quipped. "So... what do we do now?"

"Now, Ryoko?" Ayeka answered. "We've found you, and we've found Mr. Kal-El, just as we had set out to do from the beginning. It seems to me that now we go home. ALL of us. Unless I am mistaken, of course, Father?"

He had been enjoying his moment of triumph against Legion, but it seemed that his family intended to remind him of this entire episode until the end of time itself. He shook his head and gritted his teeth. "As you like," he conceded. Tenchi had won the duel, and the entire contest was moot since Komorebi wasn't even a real person. There was nothing left to do but be rid of them... at least for the moment. And then Funaho tapped him on the shoulder again.

"Of course, we'd be happy to drop you off wherever you'd like to go from here, Superman," Funaho offered humbly. "We regret this entire incident, and if there's anything we can do to make up for it..."

For a second, Superman looked as if he was going to turn down the offer, but he stopped himself and put his hand to his chin in contemplation. "It does occur to me, Your Highness, that before Legion ambushed us we were in the middle of some unfinished business... It seems to me that there's no reason to let him ruin a perfectly good dinner, if it's not too much trouble..."


He was a busy man. He'd promised Cogito a lift back to X'vyv'x, except his spaceship had been disassembled during their struggle against Legion. There might have been alternative arrangements with anyone else, but Cogito's people still had a paranoid streak when it came to aliens, so dispatching a X'vyv'ian ship to pick him up was out of the question, and giving his homeworld's coordinates to Jurai was technically treason in the eyes of his government. Fortunately, he'd gotten an offer in exchange for a little technical support. Which would be a cinch in his workshop on Earth, but he was here in some restaurant instead. And Mihoshi was talking. This was Steel.

"So you see," the scatterbrained detective rambled on, "we had just gotten back from rescuing Ryoko from Tribunal World, and stopped here for something to eat--which was really nice because I was starving, let me tell you and I know Superman and Ryoko don't have to eat so it was very considerate of both of them to suggest it--and ANYWAY before we could even place our order, Legion showed up and kidnapped us all! And since Jurai's Royal Family must feel terrible about the whole thing, it only makes sense to take us all back to Okuda III so we could celebrate. Although it's kind of funny that Superman and Ryoko don't seem to be around--even though they don't eat, this is all kinda partially in their honor... Does it seem weird to you?"

He sighed and tried to remind himself that Mihoshi was really a godsend for arranging for a Galaxy Police shuttlepod so Cogito could program in the course in secret. A loquacious godsend, but there were beggars and choosers to think about... "OK, here's your problem," Steel explained, pointing down at the pieces of her sidearm on the table. "You see this piece here? It's the energy conversion unit. You have to clean this with a carbon rod every few months to eliminate your neutron buildup. If you don't, then the onboard computer does an automatic shutdown to prevent a discharge of potentially dangerous radiation." He nudged the quarter-sized object on the table with a pencil to demonstrate."

"Wow... so this red thing is what's messing it up?" Mihoshi asked, leaning towards another component finger first. Her motion was stopped cold by a massive hand grasping her by the wrist at the last second.

"Don't touch that." Steel poked the red device with the eraser of his pencil, and the rubber immediately melted and dripped onto the table, leaving a small blob of blackened goo. "And it's the blue piece here I was talking about. Now do you think you've got all that?"

"Um... sure!"

He paused and stared at her for a second. She nodded to add further assurance, but it wasn't working for him. "Then I'll put it back together... and may God forgive me..."

At last Cogito himself returned to observe the work. Again, Steel tried to remind himself that without him, they probably never would have beaten Legion and won the day, but it was still irritating that he had to go to all that trouble when it would have been so much simpler to trust a few aliens with his home address. "Fascinating that such a potent weapon could be constructed within such a small frame," Cogito noted as he approached the table with a platter of drinks. The diminutive green man set it down on a spot Steel had cleared aside and began passing items to the other two.

"Oh, this is nothing!" Mihoshi said cheerfully between gulps of a root beer float. "Back on my planet, we've got a factory that makes all sorts of Galaxy Police equipment." She lifted up an orange strip of cloth on her uniform. This tie for instance!"

"It's fascnating, all right..." Steel muttered as he forced the barrel of Mihosi's sidearm into place.

"Hmmm... very interesting," Cogito said as he examined the tie. "Such elaborate threadwork. X'vyv'x would be very fortunate to learn a thing or two about your planet's technology."

"Too bad your culture is built on isolationism, huh?" Steel noted.

"Yes, I'm afraid that our recent encounters with alien life has made my people rather paranoid about other worlds. Still," he said, looking deep into Mihoshi's eyes, "If the people of your world are all as breathtaking as you, I think an exception can be made..."

Steel looked up from his work with eyes wide open at that line. If Cogito was even aware of his reaction, he didn't let it distract him.

"Oh... oh, WOW!" Mihshi finally replied.

Cogito simply stared at her with a pleasant look on his face as she began to stammer in amazement. There was a short silence, and finally Mihoshi put her enthusiasm into words.

"Those wings smell GREAT," she gasped. "Steel, would you mind if I had one?"

He didn't realize it was possible, but Steel's eyes widened even more at this. "Sure... help yourself. All I can smell right now is burnt rubber, but go ahead..."

"Wow, thanks!" She reached over and nabbed the plate, chowing down on the top wing on the pile. Cogito watched her in awe, reverently sipping his beer through a straw without taking his eyes off her.

"So tell me more about this planet of yours..." he said softly.

Steel cocked an eyebrow at the bizarre pair, and finally set the assembled pistol on the table. Fascinating indeed... "And yeah, where is Superman, anyway?" he mused.


The parking roof of Budzy's Steakhouse. Maybe one of the bigwigs inside the restaurant might have found it rude of him to hang out up here, but after all he'd been through, he really needed yellow sunlight more than grub, anyway. As for her, well... she liked being rude. And it was nice to see the Cowboy back to his old self again.

"OK, off that tree, through that recption antenna ring, into that far trash can over there. Nothing but net."

"What?"

"Sorry. What I mean is it'll go in without hitting the rim of the can."

"Hmmph. With your arm you'll be lucky not to embed it into the tree."

"Nonsense. It's all just a trick of the wrist," Superman said as he reared back and threw a small round rock across the roof to a large alien plant nearby. The stone richocheted off the tree and flew towards a parked spaceship, passing directly through a round piece of an antenna. Finally, it landed straight into a group of waste cans in an alley, falling into a single can. The only sound was the rock squishing on whatever garbage was inside.

"Sooooo," Ryoko mused, "this is what you do when you're not fighting bank robbers or whatever? Seems kind of dull to me."

"Well no, when I'm away from home, I'd usually be playing billiards, but the table down below is out of commission. I'd ask Washuu to fix it, but I'm not convinced she wouldn't rig it to kill me somehow."

"Well I wouldn't chance it, that's for sure," Ryoko groused. "I'd probably wind up with an extra pair of arms or something."

"I take it there wasn't a teary-eyed reunion when Steel and the others found you," Superman said, lining up his next shot.

"Kind of like the emotional scene that takes place when you dig up your lost remote control from between couch cushions," Ryoko sneered. Grabbing a small piece of gravel, she cradled it between her outstretched palms and fired a blast of energy, sending the stone flying into the tree, and further along the path Superman had executed just before. Again, there was a click of rock hitting trash. "You know, I really don't mind the whole 'favorite creation' thing. I can see where she'd wanna take pride in her... work. But that whole 'mommy' act, that really burns me. I mean, who's she think she's kidding, anyway?"

"It might not be an act, necessarily," Superman replied. "I mean, separated for millennia, scarred by all that time apart, maybe this is as close to family as it gets. For either of you. In a way, you're both lucky to have what you've got."

"Yeah, like you'd know anything about it..." she snorted. Ryoko paused, and then closed her eyes tightly for a moment. "Nah, that's not fair. You never even knew your parents. You probably think I'm being ungrateful."

"In the first place, I was adopted, so it's not like I had it worse than you did," Superman explained. "Although after living that 'Komorebi' personality Legion created for me--a loner and an outcast wandering the universe for centuries--I think I'm a lot closer to understanding your situation than I was a few days ago."

He seemed to tense up as he uttered the name "Komorebi". She had asked him before if he was recovering from the experience, but she still didn't believe him when he told her yes. And in that respect, he was farther from understanding her life, because being freed from Kagato's influence gave her a home and a sense of belonging, things he lost when the Komorebi illusion was torn away from him.

"But besides my childhood," he went on, "there was one time I actually met my biological parents... or at least a convincing simulation of them. My father was, well, not cold, but very cool and reserved. Yet, there was an underlying passion to him, something he felt was reflected in me. And my mother... she found my less-than-Kryptonian appearance hideous. I could tell she cared for me, but she was so revolted by what had become of me that she didn't know what to do. I'd like to think that if the culture shock could be set aside, she'd be proud of who I am and what I'm trying to be, but..."

"But you'll never know for sure?" Ryoko suggested. "Is that it?"

"No, it's the realization that I already know, but it can never HAPPEN!" Superman growled. He yanked a piece of gravel from the ground and threw it into orbit. "I mean, given time, we could have connected, and I could have taught them what it's like to live on the Earth and maybe they'd have understood. But they're dead, and that's that. All I could ever be to them is a desparate experiment that succeeded. One last Kryptonian who can live safely on another world and break mountains in two. I'm their genetic progeny, sure, but really that's just the icing on the cake."

He clenched his fists, as if trying to restrain himself from expressing the pain physically. Then he looked back at Ryoko. "So you see, I know what it is to look up in the sky at night and wonder where you came from. And I know what it's like to be dissatisfied with the answer, because after all, if it had been a fairy tale origin story, you wouldn't have wound up an orphan in the first place."

"So... what are you saying I should do, then, anyway?" Ryoko asked. She didn't take her eyes off Superman's hands, just in case he got himself upset again. The last time she'd gotten on his bad side was when he cut off her arm thinking she had killed "Komorebi's" parents seven hundred years ago.

And she paused at that consideration. There probably was a real Komorebi, in order for Legion to make his scheme more convincing. And Ryoko DID kill his parents. And she must have killed Komorebi along with them. And everyone else the Tribunal had listed when they put her on trial. She was no more responsible for any of that than Superman was for hurting her before. So she forced herself to approach him and put her hand on his shoulder. Who was consoling who here, exaclty?

"I have no idea," he answered calmly, taking a seat on the roof. "But it seems to me that if Washuu considers invading a city and declaring martial law to be professional courtesy, if she believes creating machines patterned after you to be some kind of flattery--and I don't even want to KNOW why she looks like she's twelve years old, but I'm sure there's a reason--then maybe everything she's ever said or done to you MIGHT be her awkward way of expressing affection. Or not. I'm just suggesting you keep that possibility in mind. Like I said, she's all you've got, and you're all she's got. I'd hate to see that ruined because of some unfortunate misunderstandings. Give her a chance, is all I'm saying."

"Wellllll... I guess it couldn't hurt to keep that in mind..." Ryoko mused.

"For what it's worth," Superman continued, "I may not fully understand what you're going through, but I think I can still relate." He took her hand and held it gently between his own. Ryoko fought to resist the urge to jerk back for fear that he'd crush it in his fingers, but she found his touch to be surprisingly warm and tender. "If you need someone to talk to, or just a chance to get away from the situation, whatever... well--"

And suddenly she remembered how he held her hand on Tribunal World, and all the reassuring things he'd said to her in prison, and how worried she'd been about him on route to Boel II-- "H-hey, now!" Ryoko exclaimed, pulling free from Superman. Her face reddened by several shades. The word "dammit" was taking prominence in her thoughts. She'd been so wrapped up in stopping Legion and saving Superman that she'd forgotten the Poor Sap of Tomorrow was sweet on her. And that just wouldn't work out. She had to put a stop to this, and fast. He'd be shattered, but he was a resilient kind of guy. It was for the best...

He looked at her in confusion, and she steeled herself for what she was about to say. "Look, don't get me wrong and all, you're a nice guy, really. Kinda on the dull side, but still... I mean, what I'm saying is that I'm spoken for, so--HEY, wipe that smile off your face! I don't care what that little goody-good Ayeka may have told you (the lousy spoiled brat!). What's between me and Tenchi is FOR REAL, and he'd be pretty brokenhearted if I up and ditched him for some space cowboy like you, and--and--and--this is the part where you're supposed to be shattered?"

Superman had gone from a smirk to a full blown laugh. "Ryoko, not every emotion is based on romance! I'm spoken for myself, as it happens. I just don't broadcast it out of respect for her privacy."

She blinked at him twice. "Oh, well... yeahIknewthat," she squeaked.

"What I'm getting at is that if you need a friend, as opposed to a rival or a roommate, or a love interest, someone without all the extra baggage the rest of your friends carry, then you're welcome to look me up in Metropolis, and we'll have a chat. If there's time, you can even help me beat up a few bank robbers, but we'll see how it goes."

"Uh, sure! Beat up Metropolis, chat a few banks. Sounds great," she mumbled, still trying to get around that moment of embarrassment.

Superman rolled his eyes. "Something to think about, anyway. For now, I think we should get back to the party inside. I needed your help on something and I suspect you could use the diversion. All of a sudden you don't look well at all..."


"Really, it's one of those situations where you don't have any choice. You HAVE to start thinking of a way out, and once you do, you could kick yourself for not seeing it sooner."

"Yes, yes, go on..."

Tenchi didn't know what was more relaxing. The restorative elixer the barkeep gave him to speed up his recovering injuries, or finally being free of Steel's armor. Actually, sitting down and impressing people with his keen tactical genius had a certain appeal to it. He wasn't one to toot his own horn, but that was what made horn-tooting such a special occasion for him.

He took a sip and found the man behind the bar and Ayeka hanging on his every word. "The sword," he continued, "Tenchiken, I mean. When I decided not to use Lighthawk Wings against Superman--well, of course, I wound up using them anyway, but still--I realized all I had left to fall back on was the sword my grandfather used to seal Ryoko in the cave seven hundred years ago."

"But how did you know what to do with it?" Ayeka asked, cradling some empty container of her own as she looked at him with reverent awe.

"I take this stuff for granted sometimes," Tenchi admitted. "You're not the only one to notice that either, Ayeka. Superman and Steel kind of gave me a kick in the pants over that, too. It wasn't until that night before the duel that I started to ask HOW the sword was able to seal Ryoko in the cave, or how Yosho fused her three gems to the hilt to contain her power. And it hit me that I sort of knew all along, because I used the same trick to give one of the gems back not long after I released her. Just pointed the sword at her and... willed for it to happen."

"Thus enabling her to wreck my poor ship on Earth," Ayeka muttered.

"I thought you were sayin' before ya liked being on Earth, lady," the bartender objected as he wiped out a beer mug. "Kid here coulda taken a dive today and saved a lotta trouble..."

"Ohhh, I was only joking," Ayeka groused.

"I am sorry about what happened to your ship, Ayeka," Tenchi shrugged.

"Joking!" Ayeka insisted, a smile starting to grow on her face.

"I know, I know," Tenchi smirked. "But like I was saying, the other thing was when Kagato said the sword's power was tied to Tsunami, the first generation space-tree. Obviously this isn't just a fancy lightsaber." He held the hilt of the weapon up to show it to them. "It's like an energy converter. It can tell if the wrong person tries to use it, or seal a person into a cave, or even adapt an alien power source into itself. And it responds to my thoughts because it's keyed to my brain patterns. So I just, I dunno, I thought at it. Made it tell me if it could steal Superman's power the same way it could with Ryoko. And it was actually easier for it than it was with Ryoko, because Superman runs on solar power, and you gotta figure an artifact connected to trees that fly in space would have a good handle on sunlight, huh?"

"Hey, that's pretty sharp," the barkeep nodded. Course, everybody knows how Superman can't get juiced from red sun radiation, so as long as you keep on him, he can't recharge."

"And once you had drained him sufficiently to defeat him," Ayeka concluded, "you retracted the energy blade and used the sword's anti-tampering power to shock him into unconsciousness. But to anyone else, it would seem as if you ran him through, mortally wounding him. And thus Legion would feel secure enough to divulge his backup plan, thinking no one would be in a position to stop it."

"He gave it away by gloating to me the night before," Tenchi explained. "I realized that while he didn't expect me to win, he'd invested too much into this plot not to take the possibility into account. His mistake was thinking that I couldn't defeat Superman without decimating his power somehow. Once Legion explained what he planned to do to us, I just willed the sword to transform its own power into something like yellow sunlight and funnel it back into his body. It didn't last long and he seemed pretty uncomfortable with the process, but we made it home, and no one had to die. That's all I wanted out of this."

"Still that must have been rough as hell for the first few minutes, huh?" the barkeeper asked. "Ten rounds with Superman, and still alive to tell the tale, eh? I dunno, they must make 'em out of promethium down on Jurai. Or Earth. Where you from again, kid?"

"Ahh--"

Tenchi's reply was cut off by Ayeka. "Oh yes, Lord Tenchi handled himself brilliantly against his opponent. And then to restore his power so soon after nearly defeating him! Why, all of Jurai owes you their lives, Tenchi!"

He sipped again from the glass as Ayeka went on about his prowess in combat. The barkeep listened in fascination in between refilling his drink. It was kind of embarassing to be surrounded by people gushing over him like this, but he figured he could manage. "Really, it wasn't that big a deal," he interjected. I couldn't have done anything without Little Washuu and Steel to help, not to mention--"

"Superman!"

Tenchi looked up to see what had gotten the barkeep's attention, and sure enough there he was, larger than life, striding up to the bar to shake the man's hand. "Listen, I can't thank you enough for comin' back here after what happened with that Legion guy. And all these royal types, even! I don't mind telling you, I was really afraid business was gonna suffer..."

"Helping people's what we do, Budzy," Superman replied modestly, "and there's no reason you should have to put up with bad publicity because of our patronage. I take it Steel's inspected your electrical system for Legion's tampering?"

"I think that kid was gonna take care of it, actually," Budzy answered. "But all you JLAers are OK in my book. After this, people are gonna come in droves..."

"The kid..." Superman repeated cautiously. "Well... let me know if you have any problems. Anyway I just wanted to touch base with Tenchi. He lowered a powerful hand onto his shoulder and smiled. "I heard what you were saying before, and I just thought I should say that you shouldn't sell yourself short. The others might have played their parts, but if it wasn't for you who knows what would have become of me. Just wanted to express my gratitude."

"Heh. Well, it's no trouble, really," Tenchi said humbly. "Luck had a lot to do with it..."

"Maybe, but there's more to it than that. What you lack in raw strength, Tenchi, you more than make up for in courage and determination. Trust me, I've fought a lot of people in my time, and it's an rare honor to face a man like you." And to underscore his point, he took Tenchi's right hand and shook it vigorously.

"Superman..."

They all looked up from the bar to see Asuza approach. It was weird, but after all Tenchi had been through he still made an audible gulp at the sight of the man. The Jurai king's eyes burned through them like kindling, and it was clear by the look on his face that he didn't want to be here. The woman at his side, however, seemed to be enjoying every moment of it. Tenchi felt like he was shrinking in the presence of the regent. After all, the events of the past day had made it clear Tenchi wasn't Asuza's favorite guy in the universe. Ayeka simply looked on at her father in apprehension, wondering what he'd do now to spoil the moment. Superman released Tenchi's hand and extended it to the emperor.

"Your Majesty! We were just congratulating Tenchi for his heroism!" Superman declared. "I understand that the two of you are his great-grandparents. You must be very proud."

"Indeed," Funaho replied.

"...Nevertheless," Asuza grumbled, "After much deliberation with my wife, I have decided that you are owed an apology on behalf of the Kingdom of Jurai. It was... hastily concluded that you were of Jurai origin, and you were drawn into an interal matter against your will."

"Well now," Superman said, "I don't think any lasting harm was done, Your Highness." He took Asuza's hand and shook it, only this time more firmly than with Tenchi. "Besides, it was Tenchi who helped uncover Legion's deception, so really you could say Jurai resolved it's own mess, right?"

The ancient monarch murmured something inaudible in response to this, clearly irritated by the outworlder's uncouth manner.

"I just hope that from now on your people will rely on more than just a DNA scan before committing to a duel," Superman added. "Things could have been a lot worse if Tenchi hadn't been here to handle things, right?" He turned to give a wink to Tenchi, and his only response was to swallow his last swig of elixer down the wrong pipe and cough it up for a minute. Ayeka, on the other hand, was grinning ear to ear at this.

"I don't think it is your place to question the selection of suitors to the Jurai royal house..." Asuza growled under his breath.

Superman's eyes lit up at that. "Well, if that means I'm still legally eligible to court your daughter, sire, I was thinking... It's really not fair that I had to battle Tenchi under the influence of mind altering technology. And I think our last duel could be called inconclusive at best, right?"

"Er, what's this now?" Ayeka said gingerly.

"So why not have a rematch? I'm sure that with a clear head, I could give your boy a run for his money, and I'd never feel right about giving up now, not when there's such a lovely lady at stake!" He moved around to Ayeka's barstool and held her shoulders in his hands. All she managed to say in reaction was a few incoherent gurgles.

"Really, I know this must be hard for you, Princess," Superman went on. "But I have gotten fond of you, and as happy as I'm sure you might be with Tenchi, I won't give in while His Majesty is willing to offer me a second chance." Now he reached over and wrapped an arm around Tenchi's neck, mocking a sort of sleeper hold. "Whaddya say, Tenchi? You up for one more round?"

"Now wait a second--!" Tenchi objected. Superman was insane! The memory resotoration must not have been complete! How could he actually suggest--? Before Tenchi could wonder any further, he was cut off by another figure appearing on the scene.

"C'mon, Tenchi, you're not gonna take this guy lying down, are ya?" Ryoko cooed. "I mean, sure, he can sunburn you just by staring hard, but this is a matter of honor, right?"

"You stay OUT of this!" Ayeka screamed.

"What, you don't think he can win?" Ryoko challenged. "I'll take that bet. And if Superman here DOES win, well, maybe I can catch Tenchi on the rebound, can't I?

"You... you...!" Ayeka fumed.

"Hey! Then we'd all be related, wouldn't we?" Ryoko added, stroking Tenchi's hair with her finger. "The four of us could settle down on The Earth somewhere and be roommates! Wouldn't that be nice, Auntie Ayeka?"

"Of course, you're both welcome to come to one of my homes for Thanksgiving," Superman offered to Asuza and Funaho. I can't reveal the exact location of course, but Kansas is lovely in the fall, and--"

"Your request is denied, Kryptonian," Asuza finally said through gritted teeth. "Your genetic heiritage is unsuitable for the royal house of Jurai." He turned to his daughter. "Ayeka! You wanted the Earth, and you are more than welcome to it... for now." And with that he stormed off for the door. Funaho lingered behind just long enough to wink micheivously at the four of them, then followed her husband out of the establishment.

"Fun guy," Ryoko snickered.

"Well, he probably wouldn't have let me carve the turkey anyway," Superman pondered. "Sorry to put you in a spot, Princess, but I had to make sure your father wouldn't try anything like this again. I'd hate to think of someone like Darkseid or Kanjar Ro marrying his way into the Jurai government as easily as I almost did."

"Ah, no trouble at all... really," Ayeka said dryly. "Waiter, I think I could use another sake..."

"Yeah, now there's an idea. I'll have what she's having... on her tab, just to keep it simple for you," Ryoko announced, sitting on the stool next to Tenchi. "Royalty. Who needs it, right, Tenchi? I can't wait until we get back to the Earth and go back to the simple life of harvesting carrots and raking your yard. How about it?"

"Oh, that's just FINE coming from you, you devil-woman! It's all a wonderfully idyllic life when you never do any of the WORK!" Ayeka chided.

"Well maybe I could if your father wouldn't keep dragging us all out into space for drinks," Ryoko cooed innocently. "I mean, hey, I wouldn't blame Tenchi at all if he never spoke to you again after all the trouble you put him through--"

"Uh, ladies, please..." Tenchi said softly. He looked back at Superman hoping he could say or do something to stop them before they got out of hand, but he simply smiled mischievously and began to back away.

"After all that--! ME?! And what about YOU with your criminal record a mile long?"

"Hey, satute of limitations, little girl! It's not my fault Tenchi's the only one who can understand your own legal system!"

"Of all the INSOLENT--!"

Tenchi sighed and took another sip of his drink. "This is because I almost stabbed you to death in the duel, isn't it?"

He turned and started walking away without a word, his only reply to casually hold one hand behind his back and raise the other up to give a "V" sign as he whistled innocently.

Tenchi rolled his eyes and resumed nursing his drink over the noise of their fighting. "Colleague," he muttered. "'We have to stick together...' Yeah, but where is he when you really need him?"


That had all been days ago. Not that it still weighed heavily on her mind, of course, but being back here had a way of reminding her of it all. And it was what had brought her back, of course. Things to say, people to do, or however the expression went...

"--and Dad said they might be dropping by for New Year's, so I thought I should put out the early In-Law Alert for you. Y'know, in case you wanted to reverse the rotation of the Earth and alter history so they change their mind, not that I'd ever think of using our marriage to take advantage of your powers, of course..."

"Of course... Actually, if it was up to me, I'd spend every holiday and three-day weekend holed up in the Fortress of Solitude with my beautiful wife."

"Mmmm, maybe next year, Smallville. Anyway, we'll always have Kandor... and I think they'll always have my curling iron. I think I may have left it in the resort--Clark? Clark?"

"There's someone in our apartment, Lois. You better hang back..."

She snickered to herself. Well of course he could hear her. It wasn't like she was hiding. There was a clack of deadbolt and the scrape of the door moving away from the jamb and there he was, decked out in slacks and a jacket and toting an overstuffed suitcase in either hand. "Enjoy your trip?" she asked innocently.

"What, again?" Lois asked in frustration. She threw her hands in the air, dropping her own luggage on the floor where she stood, and then stormed over for the kitchen. "Well, I might as well start the coffee..."

As for him, he just approached the easy chair she was sitting in and crossed his arms. There wasn't any anger in his expression, but he wasn't happy to see her either. They looked at each other for a few minutes and it occurred to her that she wasn't quite sure what to say--

"I was half-expecting you, actually," he finally said. "You seemed awfully quiet at Budzy's that evening."

"Oh, c'mon, Kal!" she scoffed. "You didn't think you'd be rid of me as easily as that, didja?"

"'Easy', she calls it," Lois called from the kitchen. "As if half of Metropolis didn't think you were dead while you were hanging around on Planet Jury... easy..."

She considered correcting her, but there was no point in wasting time. "Someone had to come by and pick up Azaka and Kamidake, after all," Washuu explained. "We left them here when we recruited Apprentice Irons to help us. After Christmas... well, I know you left the invitation for Ryoko, but let's just say 'hung over' is an understatment, hmm?"

"Read my mind," he muttered. "And this surprises me why?"

"Silly boy!" she smirked as she leaped up from her seat. "I read HER mind. It's a design specification. I thought you should know about that, in case you planned on saying anything... sensitive to her in the future. 'Privacy' is something I'm not good with."

"That's very sporting of you," he replied. "Of course, I could always instruct her in the principles of Torquasm Vo, and ferret out some technique for blocking undesired telepathy. I wouldn't call her a quick study, but I bet she'd apply herself to something like that..."

"Or maybe," Washuu added, now lowering her voice to impersonate Superman's, "You'd like me to stay out of Little Ryoko's head altogether, hmmm?" She returned to her normal tone. "She's a work in progress, Superman. I recognize that you two have a certain... connection... I even approve of it to a degree. So I can allow you to be her confidant, but I can't trust you any further than that. Take it or leave it, Okaaayyy?"

"I'm not negotiating anything," he said. Before she could react, he'd grabbed her by her robe and lifted her up to look her in the eye. "You may be able to kill me, elude me at every turn, enter my home at will, and I'm SURE you're smarter than me, but I don't care. If I find out you're not doing right by that girl, you can send a thousand Kryptonite drones after me. They won't stop me. Nothing will."

"How many lumps?" Lois asked. She strolled back into the living room and stood at her husband's side. "Of sugar, I mean," she corrected after a pause. Obviously, there was still some lingering hostility there from her last visit.

"You guys make a cute couple, you know that?" Washuu's voice called out from behind them. They both twitched a little in surprise and realized that all he was holding was another one of her dolls, then they turned around to face her again. "He's a daring one, isn't he? Of course he'd have to be to wear red underwear outside his pants."

"The point, Professor?" Kal asked. "You didn't come all this way to tell me that."

"The point is..." she sighed. "I didn't realize you were married the last time I was here."

"Excuse me?"

"What I mean is that you stuck up for my daughter. I had to come bail you both out, but that's not the issue, is it? No, at first I thought you only wanted to help Ryoko so you could rub it in my face. 'I had nothing better to do today except show you up.' Like that."

"Naivete doesn't suit you, Washuu," he shot back. "After all, I know how you helped construct the device that freed me from Legion's brainwashing. Obviously you know a thing or two about helping people in need. And since I didn't say it before, I appreciate what you did for me."

"No, you don't get it," she insisted. "THAT was so I could rub it in your face. And it coincided with my own interests. Legion wanted to use you to break apart my family. I couldn't very well leave you to hang now, could I?"

"Oh."

"And I had planned to rub it in your face on the morning of the fight, but somehow I just never got around to it. 'Tact' isn't my strong suit either, F.Y.I., but in this case, I only kept my peace because I got to thinking. Watching you lie there after Tenchi had to beat you senseless, you didn't look like an enemy to me. And let's face it, an enemy would have tried to throw the book at me, left Ryoko to rot in that Tribunal prison, and he sure as hell wouldn't have put his own family on the line for someone who made it her business to be a pain in the ass. But mostly..."

"What?" he asked.

"I... I heard what you told her before. About me, I mean. You're sweet to do that, you know."

"Only if I was accurate," he said. "Instead of listening in, maybe you should try saying some of that yourself. You've got nothing to gain from this 'little stinker' act you pull, Washuu."

"It's more a matter of what I won't lose," Washuu replied. "I had a husband and a son once... twenty thousand years ago. They were taken away from me. I lost Ryoko when I trusted the wrong person with my lab bench. That was five thousand years ago. If I made a personal attatchment now, TODAY, and it falls through, how long would I have to wait then?" She tried to fight it, but she felt a drop of warm liquid running down her face. Of all the people to gush in front of it had to turn out to be him... "Even crazies like us won't live forever, Superman."

He bent down and wiped it away from her face. "All the more reason to make up for lost time."

She massaged the bridge of her nose with her fingers. Nothing had changed about her appearance, but she suspected that somehow she must have seemed to look a lot more like her age. "She's been on her own for so long. Space pirate... hah! What's the point? Even if she thought she needed me, she'd never accept it. Why bother?"

"We all have our personal battles to fight," he answered. "They may seem hopeless, endless, unwinable. It's up to us to fight them just the same. Because no one else can."

Something about the way he said it brought the point home to her, like never before. And with that moment of realization, her eyes lit up and she smiled at him wickedly. "You know, for a stuffed shirt, you're surprisingly profound, aren't ya? I'll have to remember that the next time I drop in on Metropolis..."

"I thought we had an agreement," Superman challenged.

"I said I'd undo all my handiwork," Washuu sang, "I never promised anything about not performing any NEW experiments. I've got a doozy involving that holographic icon on the Daily Planet building. Given proper adjustment it could hypnotize the entire city!"

"Not a chance, you little--!" He grabbed for her, but all he got was another life size doll.

"Of course, seeing as we're on better terms these days," her voice called out, "Maybe we can discuss the particulars just to make sure no one gets upset next time. Least I can do for the Last Son of Krypton, right?" They looked around for her, but now she was hiding, and she'd made sure there was no way they'd be able to pinpoint her unless she wanted them to. "I'll be seeing you around, Superman! Play nice with Little Ryoko, you hear?"

And that was that. He'd probably keep looking for her for a few minutes, but now that she'd slipped away through a dimensional rift she'd used to sneak in... Well, let the big dummy look, because he'd never find her now. All she had to do now was swing by the Steelworks and load up Azaka and Kamidake, a quick jaunt across the planet, and home again, home again, jiggity-jig. Just a matter of disconnecting the audio device she had used to say her farewell to Mr. and Mrs. El...

But, no, privacy wasn't something she was good at, and a few more seconds wouldn't hurt that much...

"So, how about that coffee?" she heard Kal ask over the speaker.

"Uh, yeah... Listen," his wife asked apprehensively, "I don't pretend to know what that was all about, but she's out of our hair for good this time, right?"

She liked this "Lois". Fitting that she and Tenchi would share a common ancestry...

"Well, never say never," Kal answered, "but at least I think she won't be such a hassle in the future. Off the record, of course."

There was a brief lull, and then the sound of Lois snapping her fingers. "That was why you didn't try to put her in prison, then. And that was why you were so gung ho about helping that one girl with the Tribunal, wasn't it?" she asked. "I mean, besides the standard truth and justice reasoning. You were hoping that you could find an opportunity to earn her respect and convince her you were only looking out for her best interests."

Washuu gasped at this and clasped her hand over her mouth in shock. All she heard from Kal was a slight chuckle.

"I think this doll she left might make a nice souvenier for the Fortress, don't you?" he said in a coy tone of voice.

"You sly Kryptonian dog," Lois smirked.

"Well she was right, Lois," he explained. "I do come from a long line of brilliant scientists. This all started because Washuu accused me of exerting a foreign influence on the human condition, so it got me wondering, and it only made sense to expand her hypothesis to aliens, too. Looking back, the whole thing turned out to be a lot rougher than I planned, and running into Legion complicated things considerably, but new knowledge always comes at a price, I suppose."

"Very cagey, Mr. Wizard," Lois teased. "Well, before you start marketing Superman T-shirts to the rest of the cosmos, I was thinking of a little research of my own we could do..."

And it went on like that, the whole conversation breaking down into simple flirting rituals. Washuu clicked off the speaker and rubbed her chin in her fingers thoughtfully. She'd been wrong about him from the start, that much was clear. A lot of ground she'd have to make up in her studies. "Oh, I'm not finished with you by a long shot, Kal," she chuckled in delight.

And as she prepared to head for home, the recesses of whatever weird place she was hiding in began to reverberate with the sound of joyous laughter.


[never the end]