MIKE SMITH is on a secret mission to bring you THE INHUMAN CONDITION!

Ryoko Hating, Ayeka Loving Disclaimer: This story features Superman, which is a trademark of DC Comics, and the cast of the Tenchi Muyo! OAV series, which is a trademark of AIC/Pioneer LDC, Inc. This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made off this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don't archive it without my permission. Don't be shy. And Ryoko sucks! Nyyyaaahhh!

Ayeka Hating, Ryoko Loving Continuity Note: This whole story takes place between the events of ACTION COMICS #773 and SUPERMAN #165, and some time following OAV Episode #13. And Ayeka sucks! Neener-neener-neener!

Ryoko Hating, Ayeka Hating, Mihoshi Hating, Washuu Hating, Sasami Hating, Tenchi Hating, Superman Hating Message from the Legion Fan Club: He's not terribly fond of you either, as it happens.

Original Tenchi Muyo! concept by Masaki Kajishima and Hiroki Hayashi
Superman created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster

"Armor diagnostic recommended. Proceed? (Y/N)"

He felt like he'd been working twenty-four hours straight only to collapse mercifully in bed, then suddenly be reawakened by a fire alarm five minutes later. The armor had gone wild with overloaded sensory input, incoming data that made no sense at all, and some sort of EM disturbance that had caused half of the moving parts in the system to just up and shut down. And Washuu was mumbling in her sleep. This was Steel.

Miraculously, before any of this madness occurred, his armor had successfully managed to stir his sleeping body, and thus counteracting the hypnotic strobe effect that had put him out like a light just minutes ago. Contrary to appearances, his armor wasn't actually a suit of solid steel. Instead, it was a special fabric of microcircuitry that projected a series of force-fields which gave the suit a resemblance to a durable steel-like substance. It was still difficult to move around in when the hydraulics inside weren't operational to help him work the extra weight. He shoved his hands down to the floor and forced his upper body up just in time for him to see a man dressed in some kind of bright white samurai-looking costume brandishing a sword over a fallen man in a red and gold suit of armor. This was Tenchi Masaki, Crown Prince of Jurai, and apparently wielder of far greater power than he was led to believe. Whether it made any sense or not, he had to be stopped...

"Suh-stop...!" He was still woozy from being put to sleep earlier, but as far as he could tell, the speakers in his armor were still working. And sure enough, Tenchi jerked his head away from the fallen enemy and looked at him in acknowledgment.

"Steel!" Tenchi exclaimed. "You're still OK? But Legion here got you with some kind of--"

"'Swhat... I've been trying to tell you, Masaki!" Steel shouted into the microphone set in his helmet. "This man... he CAN'T be Legion. You have to trust me on this. He can't be Legion. I know because I've met this guy before. I know him!"

For a moment the boy just stood there with his sword, as if trying to decide what to do next. He couldn't really blame the kid for hesitating on this. After all, they'd only met a few hours ago, when he and his friends Ayeka and Washuu dropped by his Steelworks facility in Metropolis to enlist his aid. There, they told him how their friend Ryoko, a rather unscrupulous space pirate, had been wrongfully arrested by the interstellar judicial organization called the Galactic Tribunal. Determined to help, Steel's longtime friend and partner Superman had run off into space to contest their ruling, and two more of Tenchi's friends, Mihoshi and Sasami, had gone along to help. Days passed, and while the Tribunal had informed them that the charges were dropped, Superman and the others simply never returned.

Together, they had tracked their missing friends down to this place, a strange space station in the middle of nowhere, and from the moment they boarded, the four of them had been besieged by an army or robotic warriors, each programmed to defend the station in the name of someone called "Legion". Just as they were on the verge of routing the opposition, the man in the red armor showed up and used his technology to put them all into a deep sleep... all except for Tenchi, who had somehow managed to resist the effect long enough to turn the tables on the robots' master. It was clear from the look on his face that Tenchi had had enough. He wanted his friends back, and he was willing to do anything to get them.

But not kill. Steel was reasonably sure of that much. Not that he knew Tenchi much better than Tenchi knew him, but he just couldn't see him finishing that man off if there was a possibility of another way. And in the short time he'd spent with the three of them, he'd come to find Washuu conceited but practical, and he thought Ayeka was rather timid but steadfast. But in Tenchi he saw a gentle man, someone who would fight for a cause, but not if there was an alternative. At least he hoped that was a correct assessment, because if it wasn't, he wouldn't be able to stop Tenchi from proving him wrong.

"All right..." Tenchi said, lowering his blade. It began to dissipate along with the ivory clothing he was wearing, and he returned to the earth-toned costume he'd brought along on their quest. "But I hope you're sure about this, Steel," he said cautiously.

"Diagnostic completed!" a display proclaimed inside of Steel's helmet. "Reinitializing cybernetic pathways... Working... Working..."

Slowly he stood up and flexed the joints of his armor. He wasn't at standard operating parameters, but at least he could move around. "Trust me, kid," he assured him. "Even if he could try anything at this point, I doubt he'd want to risk it after the scare you must have put into him. C'mon... we need to check on the girls."

"Omigosh! Ayeka!" he gasped as he leaped over the console to get to the other side where she had passed out from the ambush. He heard a faint groan, and he helped the violet-haired woman to her feet.

Steel turned his attention to Washuu. The small red-headed scientist had made her debut in Metropolis by publicly confronting Superman and informing the press of such wild statements such as her age of well over twenty thousand years despite possessing the body of an early adolescent humanoid. Given everything else about her, Steel wasn't sure if Washuu even COULD sleep, and looking at her fidgeting on the ground it seemed that she wasn't very good at it if she did.

"...whazza... no... don't take her 'way from me," she murmured as she tossed and turned. "She's all I got left... don't take my baby away. Can't hear her in my head... all alone... no... bring'er back... please! RYOKO--!"

Before Steel could even lay a hand on her she sat bolt upright and opened her eyes as wide as they would go. "Looks like she's waking up..." he said apprehensively.

"Gaaah! What happened?" Washuu asked over a quivering lip.

"Last thing I recall..." Ayeka answered as she and Tenchi approached from behind. "Legion got the drop on us and I... couldn't keep my eyes open."

"I doubt he intended to keep us out for very long," Steel explained. "At any rate, my armor had special subroutines designed to revive me in case of something like that. And of course Tenchi didn't seem to be affected at all..."

"Oh! Well, yeah, I knew that. Some sort of light trick that induces a deep sleep," Washuu said quickly. "Apprentice? Why don't you and Tenchi deli-slice our good buddy Legion and I'll go see if I can find out where he's been keeping Ryoko, huh?"

"Hold on, Washuu," Tenchi chided. "According to Steel here, that isn't Legion after all."

"Y'know, somehow I'm SURE I could live with the idea that we'd gotten the wrong man, Tenchi," she snarled, rubbing her head in discomfort. "I bet I'm gonna regret asking this, but if he's not Legion, who the hell IS he?"

"And whoever he is, Mr. Steel," Ayeka added, "how would YOU know him?"

"OK, OK, one question at a time," Steel insisted. "Tenchi, what the hell did you just do?"

"Oh!" Tenchi stammered. He pointed to his right hand and waved it around as if it still held a weapon. "You mean..."

"Yeah 'I mean...'" Steel growled, mimicking Tenchi's gesture in confirmation. "You might have mentioned to me that you were powerful enough to short out every robot in this whole place."

"Well, ah, y'see that's not quite how it works," Tenchi explained. "See that... well, we call it a Lighthawk Wing. Jurai ships use them as deflector shields in case of attack."

"Like on Star Trek," Steel surmised.

"Sure, why not?" Tenchi shrugged. "Whatever they are, I can generate three of 'em and use them... well you saw for yourself."

"How?" Steel asked.

"We don't know."

"Why didn't you whip one up when we got here?" Steel asked.

"I couldn't," Tenchi sighed. "I can't do it like that. For whatever reason, the power only seems to work when things are at their worst. And even then it has a way of getting out of hand. I didn't say anything about it because I honestly didn't think it would come up."

"Stress, apprentice," Washuu said as Ayeka helped her to her feet. "My examinations of Tenchi have been... fruitless at best. The manifestation of the Wings leaves no physiological distinction that I could find, but this incident would confirm the theory that Tenchi can only use them when all other options appear to be exhausted. That's why he summoned them this time. That strobe effect put all of us into a deep sleep, and it would have gotten Tenchi, too, and that would have been the end right there. The Lighthawk Wing must have been the only thing he had that could block out the strobe, so he used it."

"But I told you," Steel explained, "I was protected. I would have taken action sooner except this Lighthawk Wing effect temporarily crippled my internal CPU's."

"Ah, but Tenchi didn't know that," Washuu observed. "Besides, there was no guarantee that you'd have been able to stop our colorful friend over there on your own. We don't even know anything about him."

"What's to know?" Ayeka asked. "He's this Legion person the robots kept blathering on about, isn't he?"

"Whoever that is..." Steel mused. He slowly staggered across the room towards the fallen foe. "No, the reason I wanted to confront him here was because I thought I recognized the robots we've been fighting since we boarded this place, and when I saw Washuu fall to that hypnotic strobe light, my suspicions were confirmed." He slowly reached down and took the other armored character into one of his hands. "Unngh... I think I can understand your reluctance to use that power, Tenchi. Unless you had INTENDED to short half of my armor's systems, it's probably best to keep the genie in its bottle unless it's absolutely needed. My sensor logs of that light show are astonishing..."

"You got data on it!?" Washuu swooned.

"If you can call it that," Steel groaned. "If I didn't know better, I'd assume my instruments needed to be recalibrated." He finally sat the other man up and slowly removed the helmet, causing the rest of his armor to collapse and fall off the much smaller body inside. "At any rate, people, I give you our mystery villain. Say hello to all the nice aliens, Cogito."

As the red and gold armor shed from his body, the little green man inside put a spindly hand to his face and shivered. "Oh, my," he said, "I really must apologize for all of this... er, please don't hurt me."

"That's real big of you, Tenchi," Washuu muttered.

"Huh? What did I do?" he asked.

"Of all the times to do it, you wait until I'm asleep for one minute to do a Lighthawk Wing, and against a ninety-eight pound supervillain at that. Such pooooorrr manners for a boy your age..." she scolded.

"His name's Cogito," Steel explained. "Not long ago, he abducted Superman using the same strobe device he used on us, placing him in a hypnotic trance. The JLA sent a four-man team to look for him, and when we finally caught up with the big bad mastermind... Well, he turned out to be this guy."

"Please, Steel," the small green man objected. "You make it sound more ironic than it need be. I admit that I wrongfully manipulated your Justice League organization, but it was for purely altruistic reasons. And I wish you wouldn't imply humor in the idea that a relatively smaller being such as myself could be a dangerous enemy. I would hardly make light of the fact that I successfully captured five gargantuan beasts such as your team, now would I?"

"So what did you want with us, Cogito?" Tenchi demanded. "Or is it enough that we're here with the man who helped wreck your plan once before?"

"My boy, you... you misunderstand," Cogito said. "Steel is not my enemy. As a matter of fact, I had hoped to enlist his aid when I learned he was among your number."

"Then why did you attack us?" Ayeka demanded. "Any one of us could have been hurt playing your mad game, when all you had to do was simply ask!"

"That's something of a problem where Cogito comes from, Princess," Steel interjected. "You see, the reason he kidnapped Superman in the first place was so he could enlist HIS aid. In that case it was so he could liberate Cogito's homeworld of X'vyv'x from an alien conqueror. The trick was that X'vyv'x... ians...? The people on X'vyv'x, rather.... they'd grown to fear alien races because of the cruelty of the invaders, so Cogito wasn't comfortable just asking an Earth-based superhero for help. So he used Kryptonian technology he purchased from a trader to create a device that would rewrite Superman's memory."

"Interesting..." Washuu purred.

"Not entirely accurate," Cogito explained. "Most of the psychotechnical designs were mine. The Kryptonian parts were primarily to give me an inside look at their brain patterns and culture. Before sending the infant Superman to Earth, his father devised a program that would project simulations of how he would grow up on the various worlds he was considering. Oa, Rann, Thanagar, Mars... Presumably, he chose Earth as the most suitable candidate, but I wanted to create my own simulation of a Superman who grew up on X'vyv'x, then alter Superman's memory so he would believe the simulation was his own life experience."

"I see," Ayeka nodded. "You'd have an alien ally who could rise up against your foes, but in the end he would never betray you because he'd think himself to be a loyal adopted son of your planet... but still--"

"All around, it would have been far simpler just to ask," Steel said, finishing Ayeka's thought. "As it was, Cogito very nearly burned out Superman's mind trying to finalize his plan, and even after we put a stop to it and offered our services willingly, he still refused to trust us."

"And I'm somewhat ashamed to say that Superman exceeded even my expectations by volunteering to undergo the memory alteration of his own accord, thus allowing him to free my people without revealing the location of my world to outsiders. I was so moved by his generosity and selflessness that I agreed to bring the rest of the Justice League to X'vyv'x so they could restore Superman to his old self and go in peace," Cogito concluded. "I must confess, Steel, I never fully expected to see any of you Earth-people again. That was why I felt I had to incapacitate all of you before I revealed myself. I wanted to be sure it wasn't a trick."

"Well, it kind of draws their attention when you pluck people off their planet, Codge," Washuu sneered. "Like the prisoners you're keeping on this space station. We know they're here, and we followed the robots' command signals to your little bachelor pad here, so we know you were trying to stop us from getting them. So what's the story this time, hmm? You needed Ryoko to get a frisbee down from your roof?"

"My dear," Cogito sighed, "it's far more grave a matter than that. My part in Legion's game is a matter of coercion, and if the four of you hadn't disabled the security grid on this station, I would have been forced to keep them as my prisoners or the infernal machines would have turned on me just as quickly as they attacked you. But enough explanations. I know the people of Earth prefer results over apologies... Come. I will show you where they are being kept."

He walked over to the far wall of the control room and pulled down a large switch. At once a portion of the wall slid away, revealing a hidden chamber inside. He motioned them to follow him in, and the five of them entered to find a series of human-sized capsules, each housed in a large machine that hummed and beeped in time with a life-support monitor. Steel approached the massive device and examined the computer core at the bottom. "Cogito... this is the same basic technology you used with us before... but the modifications here..."

He let out a deep breath of regret. "Legion has made it his business to maximize the aspects of my inventions that he wishes to exploit. In this instance, he has seen to it that my memory-stasis chamber can be used as a means of indefinite confinement, as opposed to the temporary distraction I used to hold off the Justice League when we last met."

Ayeka rushed to the leftmost capsule and held her face close to the translucent coating, holding her hands over her eyes to block out the light. "It's them!" she confirmed. "Mihoshi's in this one." She moved to the next and repeated her procedure. "And this one is Sasami's!"

"I think deductive reasoning got us that far, Miss Ayeka," Washuu grumbled. "So how do we get them out?"

"The locking mechanisms are of a design I'm unfamiliar with," Cogito answered. "Once they're removed from the internal environment that's keeping them unconscious, they'll wake up again. But I haven't any idea how to get them out."

"You're right, Cogito," Steel said, reaching behind his back with one arm. "We Earthlings do prefer results over apologies." He pulled out his hammer and grasped it in both hands. "So we knock. Earth-style..."

One minute they were all sitting there in the lip of a giant hole in the apartment, kicking their heels as they waited impatiently for something to happen. Then Sasami... Tsunami... never mind, she disappeared whatever she was calling herself. Then Ryo-Oh-Ki. She and Mihoshi exchanged worried looks and then suddenly EVERYTHING disappeared. Mihoshi, the apartment, the sun, everything. And for a moment Ryoko felt as if she would start sobbing her eyes out, because it looked very much as if she was getting transferred from one circle of hell to another.

Luckily, she never got the chance.

Her eyes fluttered open and the sight before them had made the entire experience worthwhile. Ryoko leaped into his arms and wrapped her own around his head as tightly as she could. Of course, he was now stumbling around trying to maintain his balance, but the moment was still there. "Tenchi!" she exclaimed. "You've come to save me from that horrible machine! What a sweet thing to do for me--"

"Get off of him this second!" Ayeka insisted. "Tenchi wouldn't even have to risk his own life if it weren't for your wicked reputation!"

The princess might have continued her tirade, but she was interrupted by a slight tug on her sleeve by Sasami. And Ryo-Oh-Ki had already returned to her favorite perch atop the child's head. Reality. This was it. The sensation was unmistakable. "Ayeka! We were all dreaming in the machine!" Sasami explained. "It was amazing!"

"Dreaming?" Ayeka repeated. "What are you talking about, Sasami?"

"This device," a deep voice answered. It kind of sounded like that guy who did the voice-overs for CNN... or the ferret on that cartoon channel. "It's reverse engineered from Kryptonian technology. It calculates a projection of a person's life if they had been born on another world, then alters the subject's mind into believing the illusion as actual memory."

"Yeah, we'd have bought it there, too, if Sasami hadn't bailed us out," Ryoko added, now busily trying to fight Tenchi's efforts to pull free of her grip. "Wait a minute, who the hell am I talking to?" She let go of Tenchi for a minute and turned to face CNN-Guy. Seven feet of boilerplate with a red cape. A Superman wind-up toy someone put together in metal shop. "Lemme guess," she scoffed, "the original version didn't do it for her, so Washuu built her own."

"Something you wanted to say, Washuu?" the metal-man offered.

"Such egocentrism," Washuu mused. "Although if I WERE to build my own Kal, I doubt I could come close to matching his lack of subtlety. 'Earth-Style' indeed, apprentice! I doubt the paper doors in Tenchi's home could withstand your brand of knocking."

"Texas-style then," Ayeka suggested. Ryoko was beginning to feel as if she missed a chapter. Or five.

"Damn straight," the big man smiled as he raised a massive hammer and swung it at the last of five chambers that had apparently been keeping them prisoner. "Not that it's really any of my business, mentor," he added as he started digging his fingers into the crack he'd made, "but I didn't bring you all the way out here so you could be tearfully reunited with this equipment. I can tell you all about Cogito's technology once we're all safe on Earth."

"Hmm, not a bad idea at all..." Washuu mused, studying the two chambers Ryoko and Sasami had once occupied. "Why, with something like this, I could easily--"

"Help me get this one out first, huh?" he implored as he strained to force the opening off Mihosi's chamber. "Theoreticians... always... with their head in the... clouds when there's work to be... DONE!" And finally the opening came loose, and Mihoshi began to drift back into consciousness.

"Huh?" she asked as she regained her bearings. At last she realized Steel was helping her out of the chamber, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and started crying. "We're SAVED! Oh, I didn't think you'd make it all the way out here to find us but you DID and now we can go HOME! Oh, THANK you...hey, who are you anyway?"

"Presently unaffiliated Weaponeer John Irons!" Washuu announced to introduce the armored man. "But currently the Acting Apprentice to the undisputed universal genius of Washuu!"

"But you can call me Steel," Steel smirked.

"Wow... so you work for Professor Washuu?" Mihoshi asked. "You must be so honored!"

"It's an... experience," Steel replied. "So what happened to Superman?"

"Wait," Tenchi demanded. "He's not here?"

"Six stasis units, five occupants," Steel demonstrated, waving his hand over the empty chambers.

Cogito shook his head in dismay. "Superman... I don't know what would have become of him. If he's not here, then Legion must have taken him some time before he last left this place."

"Any idea where?" Tenchi asked.

"He's a certified loon, Tenchi!" Ryoko said. "He just waltzed over to our table, introduced himself easy as you please, then he zotted us with some kind of light that knocked us out."

"Yeah, how did this Legion character do that, anyway?" Washuu asked. "Trick like that, he'd only have one shot, and it's not like there are any more of you he could test his weapons on."

"He read the instructions," Ryoko spat. "The point is I still don't understand WHY he did it. He seemed to have some connection to three people Superman killed once upon a time, but if he wanted revenge, what does that have to do with us?"

"I've heard about those criminals," Steel said thoughtfully. "They were from an alternate universe or something. Superman once told me about them when their ghosts attacked him... but I thought we made sure those spirits went back to where they came from..."

"He was possessed!" Mihoshi added. "He started talking in different voices and his face went all limp and weird." She rolled her eyes and let her jaw drop to demonstrate. "Laak thish!"

"And he said he had some kind of magic powers," Sasami joined in. "Superman tried to see through his costume but something was blocking it."

"So to summarize," Steel grimaced, "Superman's presumably being held captive by a man who has limited magical abilities, a rapport with evil spirits of beings he executed, and access to technology that can mold his mind like so much Play-Doh."

"Piece of cake!" Washuu cheered. "It'll be a snap to find him with a genius such as myself on your side... one who happens to have a history with our outlandishly dressed... er, 'friend'..."

"Right, I forgot to add that one," Steel groaned. "So what do you know about this Legion person, Cogito? How did you get mixed up in his organization?"

"I'm sorry to say, Steel," Cogito said wearily, "that it wasn't nearly as complicated as I wish it might have been. After Superman repelled the Sole Jurisdiction from my world, we enjoyed a period of relative peace and prosperity as we rebuilt our war-torn planet. Being the only native of X'vyv'x who played a part in our liberation, I was regarded among my people as a great hero. I suppose I let my ego get the better of me, or perhaps I just enjoyed the idea that I could be to my people what your Superman is to yours, and so when my government offered to fund the construction of this space station, a place where I could further my research for the good of our world, I happily agreed to it. Only fitting that the finest scientific mind of my race should be given the cutting edge in research equipment.

"But just because the Sole Jurisdiction had withdrawn from X'vyv'x, that didn't mean that we were any less vulnerable to infiltration. With our space program in shambles after the occupation, regular visits to my space station had become nearly impossible, and since it was a self-sustaining base, I didn't question it. But this made it an easy target when a Sole Jurisdiction battleship decloaked outside one day, and HE took control of this facility. My robots resisted them, but the Jurisdiction knows our defenses all too well by this point. In less time than it takes to tell, the station was his."

"So Legion is part of this Sole Jurisdiction?" Ayeka asked. "Perhaps that explains it, then. He's an agent on a mission to capture Superman to prevent him from interfering with a second invasion of your planet."

"No, it doesn't add up," Ryoko said. "Before he got the drop on us, he said HE was the one who told Nagi where to find me, and he even made sure Washuu would duke it out with Superman so he'd take an interest when Nagi went after me. We're a part of this somehow, he made sure of it. As easy as he beat us, he could have just flown to Earth and grabbed the big guy without the rest of us even knowing about it."

"Besides," Cogito went on, "I don't think the Jurisdiction is his single interest in this. He's not like the others of his species. It's difficult to describe, but there's a certain... disdain about him. The Jurisdiction could have reconquered our world at any point, but fear of Superman seems to be holding them at bay indefinitely. Legion... he threatened to use this place to wipe out X'vyv'x if I didn't do as he asked. He was flippant about letting me know he had no fear of Superman, and that there was nothing I could do to save him. And when he returned to drop off his prisoners, his underlings seemed... spiteful of him. Given your descriptions of his arcane power, I'm almost convinced he's the one I heard about--"

Before anyone could ask what he was referring to, the entire deck started to shake beneath their feet. "Whuh-what's going on?" Sasami cried.

"Self destruct!" Cogito shouted above the rumbling. "I thought you disabled it when you dismantled the security grids, but Legion may have installed a backup device for insurance!"

"Then we better get out of here, don't you think?" Ryoko suggested. She pointed her finger towards the floor and then up into the air. "Do it, Ryo-Oh-Ki! And make it fast!"

The small brown creature meowed in reply and she leaped into the air to begin the astonishing expansion into a massive spaceship. But in mid-transformation, there was a strange noise, like a sudden implosion, and she fell back to the floor in a daze.

"I was afraid of that," Washuu tsked. "Legion must have poisoned her, too. She can't get us out of here in her condition. And by the time we get to the ship we came here in, we'll be blown to bits."

"You mean," Mihoshi whimpered, "we're DOOMED?"

"Not on my watch we're not..." Steel muttered. "Computer: Activate Boom-Tube connection. Override safety protocols, authorization JHI-A0S-500."

"Boom-Tube?" Washuu asked. In response to her query, there was a loud flat of rushing air as a bright light opened up before them. "Oh," was all she said in response. Steel waved them to go through it, and picked up Ryo-Oh-Ki in one had. He took Washuu's hand in the other to lead her through.

"Yeah, from New Whozits," he smiled. "A lot's changed in five thousand years. After you, mentor..."

"Everyone take your seats," Steel ordered as he emerged from the closing portal. He waded through the crowd and sat down at the controls. "I never tested this bad boy for last minute death-defying escape protocols!"

He hit the reverse thrusters on the ship and it lunged back from the station with a jerk. Easing the vessel onto a new heading, Steel activated the forward thrust and they began to limp away as fast as they could.

"So why didn't you use that Boom Tube trick when we had to get inside in the first place," Tenchi asked.

The whole ship started to bump and rumble around them. Steel tightened his grip on the controls and did his best to force the thing steady. "That's part of why, Tenchi," he said. "No American likes to admit it, but we just can't build a Boom-Tube projector as good as they do on New Genesis. Ideally, the whole contraption should fit in the palm of your hand and take you literally anywhere. It was all I could do to fit the whole thing onto this ship, and even then it can only locate a signal sent out by my armor. So I had to be away from the ship in order to use it. And it's murder on the power reserves anyway."

"Oh... I see," Tenchi relented.

"No, I get the message, kid," Steel admitted. "I never said you weren't allowed to have your secrets. It's just that I'm an engineer. I like to know what's at hand when I go to work. Of course, I sometimes forget that most of my associates in this business don't always have the luxury of knowing their powers inside and out. But, hey, we found your friends, and we lived to tell about it. Mission accomplished, even if we did step on each other's toes a little."

"Yeah, even if we wound up blowing up a whole space station to do it," Tenchi shrugged.

"Well within the margins of error. Good enough for government work..." Steel chuckled.

"There it goes," Cogito mused as he looked at a rear display screen. "I wouldn't be too worried about it, Tenchi. After seeing my life's work perverted by that madman, I'm actually glad to see it won't be used to harm anyone else."

"Well, if you need anything else blown to bits," Ryoko offered, "give us a call, huh?"

"Cogito, I don't think I've got enough power left to get to X'vyv'x and still return the others home," Steel said. "If you'd like, I can drop you off at the JLA Watchtower on Earth's moon and I can pick you up after I've had a chance to refuel, OK?"

"I appreciate your consideration, Steel," Cogito mumbled. "I only wish there was some way I could make up for all the trouble I've caused you."

"Well, why don't you come with us?" Mihoshi asked. "I mean, we'll need all the help we can get to find Superman, right? And with you helping Steel and Washuu, we'll find him that much faster, you know?"

"Do... you really think so?" Cogito asked. His eyes began to light up at this. "You could really use my help?"

"Yeah, what's this 'I' crap, Boilerplate?" Ryoko demanded. "Superman helped me out of a jam, and I wouldn't mind a chance to even the score. Might be nice to see the look on the Cowboy's face when the shoe's on the other foot, y'know?"

"Oh, for the love of..." Washuu groaned.

"She's right, Steel," Tenchi insisted. "We've come this far, and we're not gonna stop now while there's still a man missing. And whatever Legion's up to, we're part of it. I'm not gonna sit on the sidelines and let someone else handle our problem."

"My feeling precisely, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka added.

"Yeah!" Sasami cheered with enthusiasm. On top of her head, Ryo-Oh-Ki meowed in agreement.

"I can't believe this!" Washuu whined. "The guy's biggest muscle is the one between his ears! If he couldn't fly, he'd have walked into an open sewer and bought it a long time ago! Let him stumble his way out of this mess the way he always does and--"

She stopped to take in all the frowning faces staring at her intently. "Ah-heh... Riiiiiighht, like I was saying... YEAH! We'll save him and Legion won't stand a chance against our combined power! Up and atom! Great Shades of Elves! Y'know, that dumb thing he always says. You know what I'm talking about." As they began to nod approvingly and turn their attention away from her, Washuu leaned back in her seat and started muttering to herself. "Lousy lovable showoff..."

[interlude five]

Legion enjoyed showing off. Wherever they were, however this was being done, he clearly reveled in his power to generate unsettling illusions to confront him. Superman clenched his jaw at this new sight, a gargantuan sphere of fire that loomed overhead and stared down at him with a solitary blue eye.

"I believe this would mark your greatest failure, Superman," Legion said casually. "The illegitimate son of the human race. A living computer with the power of an artificial star. Your greatest enemy in the future, correct me if I'm wrong."

It made no outward sign of communication, but its droning voice was heard nonetheless in reply:

/YOU ARE WRONG. I AM SOLARIS. I AM A PREFECT ENGINE OF HATRED. I WILL DESTROY THE SUPERMAN DYNASTY OF HEROES AND TAKE MY PLACE IN THE HEAVENS WHEN I DAWN OVER THE SKIES OF A SUBJUGATED EARTH. HOWEVER, THIS FUTURE HISTORY IS THROWN INTO QUESTION, AS YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY DEFEATED THE ORIGINAL SUPERMAN IN THE PRESENT./

"A wonderful conversationalist, isn't he?" Legion asked. "I grant you, he's just a fiction in this little fantasy world, no better than the faux Luthor, Brainiac, Cyborg, Conduit, or even Professor Washuu here. But he makes an excellent demonstration of the utter futility of your cause, agreed?"

"But... but Solaris WILL be defeated," Superman objected. My own future self will destroy his central processing unit in the year 85,271 A.D. I saw it with my own eyes--"

"What you saw," Legion argued, "was the mighty Superman arriving to save the day eighty thousand years too late. According to the same account by the people of that far flung era, you would one day leave the earth to wander aimlessly throughout the cosmos. Of course, your descendants would stand guard over the world in your absence, but given the way it worked out, apparently they didn't have any better luck with Solaris than you. In fact, Solaris raises a good point. By defeating you here and now, I've spared you the humiliation of that possible future. Or any other future, for that matter."

"No... I can't accept that..."

"Idiot!" Legion snapped. "Whether or not you like the truth is immaterial. Superman is a JOKE. Always was, always will be. How else was I able to manipulate you into falling into my trap? If you were so effective, then why do these colorful characters always keep coming back to haunt you? You killed Zod, and he returns, you destroy Solaris, but waste millennia to do it, you defeat Brainiac, and he only becomes more powerful with each loss. Small wonder you did nothing when Luthor took the White House. It would have blown up in your face like anything else. And I wouldn't worry about Washuu. When I'm done with her and her friends, she'll be too horrified to even remember your name, let alone the pathetic slap on the wrist you gave her."

"You... you're right," Superman whispered. "No matter what I've done, nothing ever changes. No matter what I WILL do, Solaris will still be waiting in the wings--waiting for me to let my guard down. And nothing I do can stop the menaces and injustices that happened before my time. Beings like Kagato existed long before me, and they live or die whether I'm aware of them or not..."

"A most enlightened conclusion. The ways of passion and self-righteousness inevitably flicker and dim in the face of the cold, unforgiving void of space. You're much better off, aren't you? To step aside, and make way for those of us who can actually withstand such a bitter reality."

Superman didn't turn to acknowledge this new voice. He simply looked up at Legion and mouthed the words with quivering lips.

"No, not Kagato," the man behind him answered in dispassionate annoyance. "Like everyone else here, merely a reasonable facsimile. But real enough for your perspective, I trust?"

"Don't worry," Superman said with a smile. "You'll do."

Before anyone could ask what he meant, he spun around in a burst of super-speed and landed a right hook onto Kagato's jaw. The strange looking man went crashing to the ground, and then the other simulations lunged at him. Rather than face them one at a time, Superman held his arms out and then drew them back together to generate an awesome thunderclap as his palms connected. Anyone who wasn't affected by the noise was soon caught up in the shockwaves and in seconds the group of villains all collapsed and shattered like ice sculptures.

All except for one. "I told you three he'd see through it," Legion muttered. In response, the three ghosts materialized around him.

"How, Superman?" Zod hissed. "This fantasy was designed to crush your spirit like a piece of moss! How could you have overcome Legion's magic?"

"Don't ask questions when you already know the answers, Zod," Superman replied, crossing his arms over his chest in triumph. "This isn't a magical prison at all. I suspected as much from the beginning, but I played along until you tipped your hand--with Solaris. Legion said you three had been keeping an eye on me from the grave, watching me battle my various foes over the years, but I fought Solaris in the future! Unless a ghost can travel back and forth in time, there'd be no way you'd know so much about how I met him. And that confirmed that Legion wasn't creating these illusions from his own reconnaissance, he was pulling them directly from my memory!"

"Irrelevant!" Quex-Ul bellowed. "One hell is just as inescapable as another, Kal-El!"

"Not quite," Superman continued. "You see, I've experienced this sort of mental imprisonment once before, and although my own power wasn't enough to help me escape, I was able to reach out to my partners in the Justice League to combine our mental exertion. So I tested you, mentioning Kagato just to see if you could conjure an image of a man I've never met. And when you did, you confirmed that you must have been drawing information from someone else's memories as well! That means Ryoko, Mihoshi, Sasami... one or more of them is trapped just like I am, and if I can find them--" He stopped to raise his fists and bring them down onto the floor beneath him. "If I can just find them, we can work together to escape your little game once and for all!"

Superman kept on hammering at the ground trying to smash his way out, but the other four people simply looked on in curiosity.

"It would seem we underestimated your assessment of the Murderer, Legion," Zaora shrugged. "Though his compassion makes him weak, it would seem his will is far stronger than we had thought."

"Of course it is," Legion muttered. "Look at him. His power makes him unique. It forces him to shoulder as much responsibility as he can because he worries that no one else can handle the burden. That sort of attitude has forced him to become clever, quick thinking, indomitable. Superman never gives up, my allies. He is an unstoppable force. We cannot resist him, but we can most certainly harness him for our own ends."

"Something's... wrong," Superman said wearily, breaking off his onslaught on the floor to sit down and hold his head in his hands. "Can't... find the others. But they have to be close by..."

"They were, Superman," Legion admitted. "But as you say, you had dealt with this sort of memory altering power in the past, and I couldn't risk you using that experience to formulate an escape. I performed a little... exchange of information between you and your friends, and then separated you from them, and carried out my procedure as quickly as possible."

"Then Ryoko and--"

"Lost in a world of my creation, but without even the faintest idea how to escape," Legion explained. "Alive, last I checked, but quite possibly dead by now, though I wouldn't dare deny your foolish optimism. You said it yourself, Superman. I created this little drama from your memories. What made you assume I was doing this in real-time? None of this ever happened in the first place. You're just reliving a fictional scenario I planted into your mind. A little something to keep you awake at night when you subconsciously realize exactly what I've done to you."

"No..."

Legion approached him and pointed to his chin. "Go on, hit me, Man of Steel," he taunted. "I'm no more the genuine article than Kagato was, but I'm sure it'd be just as satisfying. Hit me. Lash out at the man who violated your mind in order to bring suffering to your friends."

"No..."

"You're a joke, Superman. You never give up, and that's fine when you can still win, but when you lose, it just shows how laughable you really are. You can't stop fighting, but you have nothing left to fight, and nothing to fight with. Well, don't worry, Kryptonian. I'll give you a new battle to fight. And you can put your old life behind you without any idea you've done it. All you have to do is open your eyes--"

Superman simply screamed in horror and unleashed a blast of heat vision at Legion and his allies, but in that moment, all they did in response was smile at him.

And then the whole universe melted away...

[interlude ends]

NEXT: THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOM