For every type of collection there are as many collectors.
Through my many years of attending swap meets, yard sales, and shows for
just about every type of thing I have collected, I have been able to become
a keen observer of human behavior. There are 20 or so different types of folks
that I have run into at these shows etc. On this page I will attempt to portray
as clear a picture of those types as possible. These are seen from the perspective of
being both the seller and the buyer. On the adjoining page I'll pass
along some tips for surviving shows and sales. I hope you find them as funny
and as insightful as I. Try not to laugh out loud when you read these. You'll run across these types at
every show and sale. Don't be surprised if you see the person in the mirror displaying
one or two of these tendancies. Hopefully we can all live and learn from this.
THE FINGER - Picks up and handles everything on your table or
in your trade box. This individual specializes in making sure their sweaty hands are rubbed
over the tampo and rubber stamped lettering on every piece of diecast. He also handles and rubs
every patch, and crest he can touch. They also delight in putting finger and hand prints all
over your riker mounts and display cases. They handle everything but usually leave empty-handed.
THE HEAVY HITTER - Carries around a wad of bills so thick it could choke a dinosaur.
They take delight in flashing this at every opportunity. While this is fine and dandy, no one has ever,
ever, seen them spend more than $5.00 at any one show. Rumor has it some of the bills in the wad haven't
seen the light of day since the Herbert Hoover administration.
GLOOMY GUS - Complains constantly, bitterly, and most of all LOUDLY! Complains about the
hall, the weather, the show attendance, and their lack of sales. Threatens to quit coming to shows. What this
individual fails to realize, is that their attitude MIGHT just have an effect on their sales. Little do they realize,
that coupled with their poor attitude is the fact they have been trying to sell off the same over priced merchandise for almost 5 years.
THE OUT TO LUNCH BUNCH - The invisible beings of the show set. Nobody knows them, nobody has ever seen them. They come
early, load their tables with interesting items and then disapear for the rest of the show. The really good ones, however, show up with an attractive
girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other. These individuals usually have no knowledge about the items on the table. They also usually
have no idea where the person (whose items they are watching) is. All in all, a lose - lose proposition.
MR. POCKET-GUIDE & MS. WANT-LIST - These folks wouldn't know if what they were looking for was right in front of their face. They
spend all show wandering around with their heads down thumbing through notebooks and guides. They usually wind up spending the entire time at one table
trying to find a piece that they don't have checked off. Then complain bitterly about the show being too short when closing time is announced 6 1/2
hours later.
THE KNOW-IT-ALL - Lets you and everyone else know that they are an expert on every aspect of your particular hobby. These folks
have seen and handled everything (supposedly). They usually do this as they are handling your merchandise. They can tell from 60 yards away where
the World War I private's uniform you have was stitched together and what nationality the seamstress was. This is also the same person who will swear
up and down that CODE 3 never produced a Las Vegas FD Suburban, even though they are looking right at yours. What they don't know can fit into a book (usually an
authoritative guide on that hobby).
THE BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL - These folks spend most of their time repricing their entire inventory. They make one pass through the show
to gauge the competition and then spends the show repricing things in front of everyone. Their tags always reflect "drastic reductions" and "final closeouts".
Their biggest claim to fame (or scam) is to reduce an item's price every hour until it is sold.
THE PAPER CHASER - Dealer in ephemera (paper stuff). Catalogs, magazines, posters, and any other piece of hobby-related paper goods.
Most of the items are badly mildewed due to improper storage. Some to the point of "ashes-to-ashes, dust-to-dust". Most of their customers
locate them by using their olfactory senses. The air around their table is thick with dust and the sound of sneezing!
THE NO PRICE IS NICE BRIGADE - These folks never, never, EVER tag anything! The formula they use to determine a selling price is so top secret
that not even the NSA knows! It is suspected that the pricing determination is made by how the prospective buyer is dressed, how many items they are carrying,
the time of day, and how long the item has been in the inventory. Another factor that plays into the equation is how much money the seller thinks the buyer
is carrying. These folks usually wind up evolving into a Gloomy Gus.
LAST WEEK GEEKS - I'm guilty of this myself at times. But sometimes you just can't help it. These folks always seem to have found last week an item just like
the one you currently have for sale. It never fails that the one they previously purchased is in better condition and was SUBSTANTIALLY cheaper. One sometimes wonders if what they are saying is true,
or if these people really have a life at all.
MR. LOWBALL & MS. WOULD-YA-TAKE - These two operate usually as a team and make the garage sale circuit their personal domain. Occasionally they work as singles, but don't count on it.
They talk amongst themselves usually casting doubts about the condition and generally denigrating the merchandise.
Their theory is that the seller will offer them a significantly reduced price as an incentive to get them away from the
table. After fussing over the merchandise, they try to nickle and dime you to death.
THE BE BACKS - These folks generally mean well, but are annoying anyway. They take up to an hour of your time asking questions and making general chit-chat.
They also delight in examining all your merchandise from every possible angle. They then say they'll "be back
later" to purchase it. They are close relatives of the HOLD-IT-FOR-ME's who use the same techniques.
Truth of the matter is, they are long gone before the show or sale is over.
THE INTIMIDATOR - This former USMC Drill Sgt/Prison Guard always has high sales volume.
He/she fits the bill and sometimes forgets that they are no longer in that realm. They are always in a position of
authority and want you to remember that. Perfect command posture (erect, arms folded, chin out), demands respect. Pick up an item
and you've purchased it. No one haggles, no one bargains. The only price you'll pay is the one posted on the item.
THE LONG LOSTS - These folks use the shows as mini family reunions. Which is sort of what the shows are about.
However, they always seem to start L-O-N-G conversations with at least 5 or 6 friends directly in front of your table.
Meanwhile, everyone else has to go around them. Most without seeing what you have for sale/trade. To make matters worse,
at least two of them will have bags and/or boxes of stuff that they will rest on top of your merchandise while they wax poetically
down memory lane for the next few hours.
THE SEARCHER - This unique breed is out there. More than we care to admit, but they do exist! These folks collect
the obscure of the obscure. They are always in search of left-handed Franco-Prussian War Cavalry Sabers or Aquamarine Carnival Glass
Punch Bowls. Not to their surprise, but much to the
chagrin of those around them, they never seem to find what they are looking for. A fact that
they will gladly announce to any and all within earshot that they were correct in their assumption.
They do hold the dubious distinction of being the only ones who leave a show with all the money they came with.
THE ORIGINALS - These folks NEVER buy anything that is NOT in it's original factory box.
They never open the boxes and never play with their treasures. All their boxes are neatly lined up
on alphabatized, catagorized shelves in their hobby room. The only thing they lust after (besides the factory sealed),
is hermetically sealed custom display cases. If they could find one, they'd also like a secondhand x-ray machine.
Problem is, they haven't figured out how they would use it, while it is still in the package.
While there are still many more types of the COLLECTORUS AMERICANUS that I have yet to catalog, these are all that I have come across at present. Anyone who has been in their hobby for more than a few years and been to a few shows will recognize them.
If you think me wrong, well, just keep your eyes and ears open at the next hobby show you attend. If you want some tips on
how to survive the wilds of the show circuit, click on the link below to get to my survivor page!
