Good and evil constantly warring in my mind,
reaching to one, then the other, with solutions I couldn't find.
My mind always wandering back and forth, unstable in every way,
refusing to conform to either force, wayward night and day.
One moment in the right, the next in the wrong,
not sure on who's ground to stand firm and strong.
Eventually my life was persuaded to the realm of the lost,
blinded from reality, making mistakes that would cost.
Error after error I built each and every day,
with each brick of sin, I built my own prison with no delay.
Suddenly compassed from truth and hope was I,
drying up all the tears with no heart to cry.
Hardened into solid stone and cold as steel,
I forgot how to see, how to love, how to feel.
The enemy pulled me down into the muck and mire,
hate and vanity rekindled becoming a raging fire.
Sin masked my mind from reality and perception,
hypnotized by the clock of addictions aggression.
Evil took my hand and I followed in haste,
in fact, I began to relish the wicked aroma and taste.
As I fell into the pit falling further from the light,
hope, care, love and joy faded far from sight.
As my flesh was catered with sinful corruption,
I became blind to Satans alluring abduction.
In the mean while in the Kingdom of heaven above,
God the glorious looked upon me in all His grace and love.
He said to His Son, "I've been so patient with our lost child,
but his life has become far too chaotic and wild.
Jeff is far gone from reality and continues to fall away,
it's time to let go and allow him to go his own way.
Although I still love him and care very much,
I must chasten him with my loving touch.
He will experience tragedy and almost lose it all,
but in my sovereignty I will raise him up from his fall.
"
So as God allowed, I found the end of my rope,
with massive devastating struggles with which I couldn't cope.
Out of desperation I fell upon my knees,
and cried, "My God, I'm so sorry and lost, help me, please".
I told Him, "Take control of my life, lead me back to you,
lost and astray am I, please pull me through.
I'm so sorry for my sin, forgive me my King, forgive me,
release me from sins' bind, please set me free.
This battle I no longer can endure my Lord,
I need your power by the might of your sword.
Destroy my adversaries, bring victory my precious friend,
heal my wounds and my broken heart please mend.
I recall of your love, your mercy and grace, now I remember,
to you I give my life, thy will be done, I come to surrender. "
As God heard my cry, He sent His love and peace, filling my mind,
as He rebuked Satan of his oppression and broke his bind.
Hope was restored and my heart broke its hardened shell,
as I became engulfed with the presence of Christ, releasing me from hell.
Two words changed my life because of my Great Defender,
as I poured out my heart and cried, "my God I surrender!".