This is the whole story of how I grew up in a
solidly Christian household, then drifted away into a life far from God,
finally to return....
August 16, 1972 was the beginning of my life, a life full
of variance, love and hate, obedience and rebellion, life and
death, joy and sorrow, my life was definitely a two-sided coin,
on one side good on the other evil. This is my personal testimony
which I believe needs to be shared. My name is Jeff Quante IV.
I am 27 years of age, I am married to a beautiful woman and I
have four lovely children between the ages of 8 and 3, two boys
and two girls. I am also incarcerated and experiencing a phenomenal
change in my life. So I would like to share with you how I got here,
what's happened before and what's happening now. You know we all
wish we could turn back time and correct our mistakes, but that's
impossible. So we must move on and be the best we can be. Life
is full of decisions, good or bad, we all confront them, we all
act upon them, sometimes not the right ones are inacted. So with
that I'll begin my life for you, but please be sure to read all
of this, for I hope it will be of benefit you...
Baltimore, Maryland. My place of origin. I only lived
there for a year though, so I can't tell you much about it.
I will give you a quick run down of my family though. My father,
mother and sister were the ones I spent the first five years of
my life with. My dad had a good job as an engineer, my mother
was a housewife and my sister five years older than myself.
We moved to a pleasant small town called Delmont, Pennsylvania.
My little sister was born when I was 5, so now we were a family
of five. Delmont was the perfect family town, beyond our backyard
was a very large recreational field. There were huge slides, swing
sets, merry-go-rounds, baseball fields and a long jogging track
around the whole park. At one time there was even an old airplane
there, which was a real blast combined with the imagination of a
boy! At the end of our dead-end street, down the hill was a BMX
track, which I had loads of fun with on my old orange banana-seat
bicycle. In the woods, located across the street from our home,
there were two large hills which we called "big-mamma" and "little-baby",
we had a blast sliding down them in our dungarees.
So I must say, Delmont was a haven for childhood mischief.
Besides the towns' wonderful attributes, the selection of playmates
was not beneficial. The two young boys I mostly hung out with were
definitely unbecoming of virtuous friends. I recall being over
one boys' home in his fathers clubroom, playing the song "Funkytown"
and in the wild atmosphere I was lured into drinking some Vodka,
I never tasted anything more repulsive. So there I was about 8
years old and had my first taste of liquor. I'll never forget the
day my so called "friends" came over with a fresh glass of "lemonade",
I thought, Wow! How cool of them to go out of their way to fix me a
glass of lemonade. But can you guess what they were up to? You
probably guessed right, a tall class of iced urine, to which I took
an unhealthy gulp. Although I tend to laugh at the memory now,
then I was truly hurt and outraged. My mouth exploded with profanities
I never even knew I knew. My mom caught the tail end of the act
on our back porch. After I explained to her what happened, I believe
she was understanding. From then on my "friendship" with those
characters was never the same.
When I was 10 my father was offered a job opportunity in
Montgomery, Alabama. So we packed up and moved to the deep south.
I was pretty excited to meet new friends, maybe real friends for
a change. We moved into a modest home in a nice neighborhood.
I was most pleased to see a fort built in the tree in the backyard.
Well, life began again, a fresh start and I explored the territory
well. I met a wonderful friend named Wesley. He and I became
best friends. We got into a lot of mischief together. If my
mom only knew of the cain we raised she would surely have hung
me out to dry. I recall endless nights of knocking on doors and
running to the bushes to snicker at the bewildered and infuriated
homeowners. I recall one time Wesley and I were out and about just
getting into mischief, when we noticed a motor home in a neighbor's
driveway. It looked like a neat fort or even a "good war machine."
So we began to check it out. Wrongfully, we entered the vehicle
and by complete accident, one of us released the parking brake.
Unknowledgeable of motor homes we didn't even know what we had done.
The vehicle began to roll down the driveway, scared and frantic of
the result, we ran away. I'm sure no damage was caused, but we were
wrong, bottom line. All the times we got into mischief our parents
had no idea of our havoc.
As far as school went down south, I didn't adjust well.
I recall being made fun of on a regular basis. I guess because
I was pretty big for my age, a little plump and a "Yankee". I
remember some serious "whompings" from the woodshop teacher at
school, of course that was when school discipline was permitted.
That teacher had one heck of a wooden paddle. With plenty of
holes in it to permit air flow so the speed of the swing wasn't
slowed down. Ouch! was an understatement compared to the pulsation
of blood flow in the hind parts after the driving force of that
stick. I always had a difficult time applying full attention in
school, I don't know why, I just did.
I recall sidewalk brawls with the neighborhood bullies,
sewer tunnel adventures, making bombs out of gunpowder from 12
gauge shells I found in a field, shooting BB guns at the local
farm cows,
sneaking a cigarette from time to time.... I even recall on day
when I accidentally burnt down an antique train caboose out in
the middle of a field, oh boy, what mayhem. My friend and I wanted
to make a fort out of it, but there was one problem...wasp nests.
So we got the bright idea to make torches and burn them out of
their nests, bad idea! The dry old caboose quickly caught on
fire. My friend ran home to his dad and I stayed doing all I
could to put the fire out. I even used my natural, built-in
water hose to try to extinguish the flames. But the little bit
of juice I drank earlier wasn't enough. Flaming drops of tar
from the roof inside were falling all over me like bombs from a
plane. I kind of took a liking to the excitement. Well, the
fire was by now out of control, soon thereafter the fire department
arrived and put out the fury. When all was said and done there
was one crisp, burnt down antique caboose. I was commended by
the fire chief for my effort to stop the blaze (even though I
started it). I was grounded by my parents for a good while as I
recall.
I guess you could say my childhood was pretty eventful so
far, although to this day I am ashamed of my carelessness and
rebellion. My spree of shoplifting began at an early age....fishing
lures, in fact, from the local stores and other places. I only
did it for the rush at the time, just good old excitement in my
little mind. My poor parents, they did the best they knew how
to raise a mischievous little boy, but it's hard to put a rope
on a rattlesnake.
My parents were good Christian people, trying to raise up
three kids in a Christian home. I remember being involved in the
local Royal Rangers at church. I had lots of fun in that activity.
Lots of camping trips, pow-wows, survival training and so on.
Slowly but surely I began to settle down some in my immaturity.
I recall accepting the Lord Jesus into my heart at an early age, I
even recall truly praying and believing in Him. So for a couple
of years I believe I settled down somewhat, but that wasn't to
last long unfortunately.
When I was 13 my parents decided to move back to Maryland
. I didn't want to go but I had no option at my age. So we packed
up and moved back to Maryland just outside of the town of Westminster.
Our new home was in an area called Silver Run, by Union Mills.
I had never lived in the country before, but I liked it. There
was a big pond next door to us which set off the beauty of the
hills and pine trees. The view from the bay windows in the living
room is beautiful. I realized I sure was a country boy at heart.
I just loved to ride off on my bicycle by myself. I felt so
wild and fancy free. My rebellion became even more intense. I
hooked school all the time. In the ninth grade I met a real beauty
her name, Melanie Rose. I invited her to go to a dance with me
but she said she wasn't allowed to attend dances, but she agreed
to a date, which never happened, at least not at that point in
time. I'll spare you the details, up to the point of my first
real set back in life.
Friday the 13th of May, 1988, I believe it was Mother's
Day weekend. I was riding my eighteen speed bike home from a
friends house to get home and baby-sit my little sister. My
father was taking my mother out to dinner, I never made it home.
About 5 feet from our driveway, I was hit by an old yellow
station wagon...all went black. I awoke to the sight of a paramedic
smoking a cigarette. As I looked around I could see the familiar
faces of my neighbors, my sister, and my distraught mother. I felt
like I was about to die. I remember being extremely terrified,
while chanting the words, "God, I don't wanna die", over and over
again. I'll explain what happened before I go on. The car came
up behind me and struck me at a high rate of speed. I flew backwards
and went through the front windshield into the laps of the
occupants.
My left leg was nearly cut completely off. I had lost four
inches of bone, skin and muscle. My right arm had a compound
fracture and I was cut-up all over. The only thing attaching my
foot to my leg was a wound up cord of skin. Before the accident
occurred I recall waving hello to our neighbor pulling out of her
driveway. She was a registered nurse. Evidently she saw the
accident happen and turned around and came back to the crash site.
She quickly attended to my leg, unwinding my foot to allow the
little veins left in my skin to continue blood flow, if it wasn't
for her, I would have surely lost my leg. The Shock Trauma
helicopter arrived and flew me to the Shock Trauma Unit in Baltimore,
Maryland. By the way, my little sister witnessed the entire
accident, bless her heart.
I had several extensive surgeries to save my leg. The doctors
removed bone from my hip, muscle from my stomach, and skin from
my other leg to graft into my leg. This took about eleven weeks.
I also had a titanium plate bolted to the bone in my leg and rods
placed in my arm. I had a device called a Hoffman holding my leg
together while it healed. It consisted of nine titanium pins
screwed into my bones and rods holding my foot immobile. I wore
this for about a year. In the meantime I became addicted to the
morphine shots which I was given plenty of. I truly enjoyed the
effects of this drug. That lit the fuse of a bomb that would
eventually explode in years to come.
After about a year and a half I returned to my feet to begin
life as a teenager. I was almost 17 years old. My relationship
with my parents had become dim, I was a full blown rebel. I ran
away from home constantly and worried my parents sick, too ofen.
One day I decided to call that beauty I met in ninth grade,
Melanie Rose. I had held onto her phone number ever since I met
her. We went on our first date and I must say it was love at first
sight. I had no idea she would become my wife and that we would
have four beautiful children together. Today we have been married
for almost nine years. My attributes as a husband and father were
very poor and unfortunate. For many, many years I was an avid
marijuana smoker and a drinker from time to time. I have always
held a job, but barely provided all their needs. I am very ashamed
of my past lifestyle. At any rate, my wife stuck by me in a
devoutful manner, as I worked a steady 40 hours and party up life.
She stayed home as a dedicated housewife and raised our sweet
children. The worst of my life was yet to come....
In the fall of 1997, I went to a doctor for the pain in my nerve damaged leg and he prescribed me ninety pain killers a month. These pills are a strong narcotic. This was the worst mistake I ever made for it would lead to tragedy. Again I found myself extremely addicted to pain killers. My attitude towards life took a turn for the worse. My addiction to the pills quickly went out of control. I became a totally different person. The ninety pills a month began to dwindle away quickly and as a full blown addict I had to find means to feed my habit. I broke into several homes of people I knew and raided their medicine cabinets. At the time, I didn't think twice about it. All I knew is I had to have more. As time quickly went on, things just got worse and worse. Then on April 6, 1998, after I went to my drug dealers house to obtain more pills, I headed off to work. At that time I was a sub-contractor in construction. All I remember is I left the road my dealer lived on, pulling onto Route 140 in Westminster and all went black.....
I awoke to the feeling of my precious wife washing my face,
while the look on her face was of great sorrow. I then noticed
two state troopers standing at the foot of my hospital bed. I was
in Shock Trauma again for the second time in almost exactly 10
years. Then I got the news that seemed like a terrible nightmare.
Evidently I had passed out behind the wheel of my truck and
struck an on-coming minivan at a high rate of speed. Tragically
there was a precious family inside of the van. The driver, who
was the father, was killed on impact. The wife and grandmother
critically injured. The little boy critically injured. The baby
boy in the car seat escaped injury with only a few scratches. I
was devastated. This couldn't be real, I thought, I would never
dream of hurting anyone. I was also hurt badly. I had lost a
great deal of blood from my crushed spleen and had a collapsed
lung. Really, I could care less about my injuries. I just couldn't
believe the nightmare my life had created. In eight days I went
home to my parents house to recover. My wife extremely upset
with me, needed some time apart from me, which I understood. The
police said when I recovered I had to turn myself in. Imagine this,
the hospital sent me home with 90 morphine pills, disregarding that
pills were my problem.
I continued to take the pills in excess of the prescribed
amount (unless you've been an addict before, you would not understand).
Now I was undergoing tremendous mental and physical pain from
what I had done to my victims, the separation from my wife and
children and my physical health was very poor. Within a few months
I recovered fairly well. I mustered up the strength to turn
myself into the police as I had promised. I was finger printed,
questioned and handcuffed. Then transported to the local commissioner
and sent to the detention center. So there I was stuck in jail
for the first time ever, with terrible charges being held against
me. Within a few days my loving grandmother and grandfather
posted bail for me. I was temporarily set free. I returned home
to my parents house and decided to get some help for my problem.
I admitted myself to a local rehab. All the while my mental
pain contributed by my remorse and regret continued to escalate.
For the first thirty days at the rehab, I managed to stay
clean and with the Christian based program was doing rather well.
Until I found out that once a week they transported the men to
the local mission for free doctor and dental care. My addiction
cut loose once again when the doc gave me a free bottle of pain
pills. One day while waiting the transport van to head back to
the rehab, my wife ran into me. She could see in my eyes that I
was taking drugs again. Furious and extremely disappointed in me
and the rehab, she told my mother, who called and gave the
administrator a piece of her mind. Soon thereafter I was kicked
out of the rehab, just what I needed huh?
My parents being very disappointed in me as well, wouldn't
allow me to come home. So there I was with no place to go, my
life in a shambles and very bewildered of my insanity. Eventually
my parents took me back in, never before had I felt so hopeless
and helpless. Then more charges were brought up against me and
again I turned myself into the police and again went to jail.
Again I was released on a 25k bond. Awaiting my trail in January
1999 I attempted to put my life back together. My wife and I got
back together. I obtained a good job and things mellowed out for
a while. My marriage was not the same due to the mistrust I had
developed. I had put on a good act for everyone to believe I was
okay and drug-free. Although the truth is, I was still doing drugs
from time-to-time, just not everyday like before. I completely
stopped using drugs some time before my court date. From then on
things began to change.
One night in December 1998 I was sitting on my back porch smoking a cigarette, feeling very hopeless. I turned to the sky and asked God to help me, I told Him, I needed assurance that He was there, and that He would help me change and that He would take me from defeat into victory. I asked Him to show me a sign...a shooting star. Just as I finished asking Him for the assurance a bright shooting star shot from the east sky to the west. It was like no star I'd ever seen before. It was my sign from God.
With the hope that God gave me, I pressed forward in
faith that life would get better. After Christmas and New Years
came and went my court date quickly arrived on January 5, 1999.
I recall what happened that day before I left home to go to
court, I did my best to explain to my children that I would not
be home for a long time, as they stared at me with their eight
blue eyes open wide, I knew they didn't understand what was
happening. With long painful hugs and kisses, I said my good-byes
to each of them. Before I knew it I was standing before the
judge in circuit court. This particular day was only a trial,
the sentencing court date would come later on down the road.
With the victims' wife sitting directly behind me crying profusely,
I felt cold and hollow. Knowing I had destroyed someone's life
and nothing I could do would change that, it still seemed like a
big nightmare. As I maintained my composure, the judge found me
guilty on a long list of charges, two counts of first degree
burglary, one count of third degree burglary, automobile
manslaughter, three counts of life threatening injuries while
intoxicated, possession of marijuana, possession of pain killers,
and a DWI. I was then sent to the local jail to await sentencing.
I decided on my first day in jail to make a real commitment to
change from my old ways. I began studying my miniature New
Testament Bible which I brought with me. I had been brought up
in a Christian home but never really kept the Christian lifestyle.
As time went on I found myself aching for my wife and
children. An extreme realization came into my mind my first week
in jail, I realized if I wanted to have a real life again with
my family, I must prioritize myself. I realized I must make God
first in my life and everything else must come after Him.
Finally, because of my confinement, I had time to really meditate
on what life is for and what we must do to have a real life of
prosperity. I began writing many poems as you will find if you
go deeper into this website. Poems that portray my experiences,
my feelings and revelations from God.
Now back to what happened next. My sentencing date
finally arrived in March 1999, almost three months since my
original court date. I must say it was the slowest three months
I'd ever experienced. So there I was shackled at the ankles
standing before the judge once again. My heart felt like it was
going to literally explode out of my chest. I had never been so
scared. After the judge made the opening statements, I was shown
a video of the victims wife, I broke down in tears, and cried
like I've never cried before. I didn't mourn because of where I
was going, I was crying because of where I'd been and what I'd
done. After my lawyer gave his arguments to the court, I stood
from my seat and gave a heartfelt apology to the family of the
victim. I vividly remember my words of sincere regret and remorse.
I said to them, "I know saying I'm sorry is insufficient, but I
am so very sorry. If I could turn back time, I would, if I could
take the place of this man, I would. But I can't, I promise I
will keep you all in my prayers day and night for the rest of my
life. I am so very sorry.". Those were the most difficult and
painful words I have ever uttered. After my apology the prosecutor
gave his arguments. I found out that the little boy was horribly
injured. The sweet little boy had suffered a traumatic injury
to his brain. Water on the brain in fact, he has a device
running internally from his brain to his stomach to drain the
fluids off his brain. They said his injury was permanent. The
wife of the victim had already underwent 13 surgeries to restore
her mangled legs and back, the grandmother also had many extensive
surgeries to restore her injuries. I truly feel horrible for
what I have done to these precious people. Words fail me of the
grief I know. As the court session went on in slow motion, I
felt very bewildered.
Finally the judge gave the sentence. Twenty years with
ten years suspended to be served in State prison. The sentence
was lenient due to my past history and because this was my first
real encounter with the criminal justice system. I took a quick
glance into the beautiful eyes of my precious wife before I was
lead out of the courtroom. Soon thereafter I was back in the
county jail awaiting transport to the Department of Corrections.
Later that night I phoned my wife to make sure she was okay then
I phoned my mother who shared the surprising news that the victim's
wife had confronted her after the trial. They cried together and
the woman told my mother that she had forgiven me, imagine that,
a second sign for me that God was in complete control.
Then I was transported to Baltimore and spent two
weeks there waiting to go to my final destination. All the while
I found myself growing closer and closer to God. I was then
transported to a prison way out in western Maryland. At least
the view was nice with mountains all around. So here I am today.
What has happened to me in me last year is another story.
I have found victory through Jesus Christ, at first I
sought him in desperation, now I seek Him daily because I love
Him. Jesus has made this prisoner free on the inside. My marriage
is being restored, my family loves me dearly, trust is being
restored, I have surpassed hope into blessed assurance. I know
God's Word, the Holy Bible, like never before. When you study
God's Word you get to know God and of His unconditional love and
grace, when you truly find out what God is really made of, you
can't help but love Him. I have an awesome peace that surpasses
all understanding (Phillipians 4:6&7). I have strength I've
never know before (Isaiah 40:31). God is restoring my life just
as He has faithfully done through the ages (Joel 2:25-27). He
has given me a new heart, a new spirit, I am forgiven of all my
sins, all my mistakes, I am His beloved child (Ezekial 36:25-29).
I've never been so refreshingly alive, I have victory, I have
the power of almighty God reigning in my life (Proverbs 18:10).
I have joy in my heart, real happiness even though I'm in prison
(Acts 2:28). I have power to overcome the lies and temptation
of the devil (Luke 10:19 & 20). I'm telling you Jesus is the
answer to all your problems, all your pain and suffering. He
will give you victory over anything. Best of all God loves you
so much, He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for your sins
and to offer eternal life in heaven to all who believe on His Son
Jesus (John 3:16).
I'm telling you this is reality, God is very real, deep
down in your heart you know He's real by the sight of creation,
how meticulous and marvelous is this universe. All made my an
awesome, powerful God who loves us all and created us to love Him!
Jesus Christ was the ultimate sacrifice for our sins, (Hebrews
9:1-17), it doesn't matter what you've done, it doesn't matter
where you've been. He loves you no matter what, just come unto
Him, get on your knees and repent of your sins. He will enter
into your heart and you will be born again. Life as you knew it
will pass away and life through Jesus Christ will unfold in your
life. You will experience joy, peace and love like you've never
known.
I am living proof of all this, I have the joy, peace and
love of the Lord, He walks with me through each and every day.
Even though I can't see Him with my physical eyes, I feel Him in
my heart and one day He is returning to take His children to
heaven's paradise. Don't be left behind. Life is no joke, take
the hand of God, believe in His son Jesus that died for your sins
and rose from the dead to give eternal life to all who believe.
God is awesome, I have all I'll ever need, even as a prisoner,
life is beautiful knowing Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
