Alright, the Viennese dialect is to proper German what American english is to Oxford English. It´s pretty much a drawl and you shouldn´t open your mouth too wide if you wanna try and talk it.
Right, we´ll start with the easiest bit:
Des is mei Haus.
Well, can you guess? Yep, it´s "This is my house". That wasn´t too hard now, was it. Viennese is probably one of the best languages for swearing, you can insult people in countless and very funny ways. A "Schneebrunzer" for example is a word for an old man, it actually means "Snow-pisser". It´s pronounced something like Shneeee-brooontsaaa. "Beidl" actually means bag, but is used a swearword, cos it means bollocks as well. You actually call someone you really hate a Baaaaaaaaaaaadl. The fact that you can swear a lot in Viennese but that there aren´t too many words for beautiful things tells you a bit about the Viennese mentality. One of the few words that means something good is "Leiwaund", which means "great, brilliant, the dog´s bollocks". It´s pronounced "laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad". A word which is used pretty much like the word "mate" is "oida", which you just put at the end of each sentence. It actually means "old man" and is pronounced "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiduhhhhhhhh".
We don´t even have a phrase as rude as "fuck off", but "geh scheißn" (="go and take a shit") comes pretty close. So, here´s your first conversation in Viennese. Say "This is my house, mate" then your friend says "Brilliant, mate" and you go "Fuck off, you bollocks".
Oh yeah, "you" means "du".
Right, got it? Yes, it´s: "Des is mei Haus, oida" "Leiwaund, oida" "Geh scheißn, du Beidl". Easy, isn´t it?
Right, if you come to Vienna you will have to visit a sausage stand, they´re very famous here. They are called "Würstelstand". If you go to one you´ll have to get a very typically Viennese snack. It´s a hot dog with a special kind of sausage in it, a "Käsekrainer", a type of sausage with cheese in it. However the Viennese were not happy with that name and since the cheese pouring out of the sausage when you eat it reminded them of something they called the whole thing a "Eitrige". This would roughly translate as "pus-sausage". Mmmmmmmmm, wanna have a bite?
If you wanna get a beer at a Würstelstand you wouldn´t ask for a "Bier" (pronounced exactly the same as in English), you´d order a "Hüsn", which translates into something like hull. To get the attention of the bloke working in the sausage stand you´re gonna have to shout "Heast" at him. It means something like "listen". Then you´re gonna have to ask him to give you a Eitrige and a Hüsn. Since Viennese people aren´t too polite you´re just telling him to give the things, no need for a "please" or anything like that. This is best expressed with "Gimma".....any idea? Yep, "Gimme", exactly.
"Heast, oida, gimma a Hüsn und a Eitrige, du Schneebrunzer" "Geh scheißn"
Yeah, it probably wasn´t a good idea to call him that.
If that still wasn´t enough click here for more Viennese ;)
