<-- WARNING -->
This is to inform everyone that Sir Super Shatner will be taking over the world as of the year 2000. Yes, we knew eventually that it was bound to happen. Hopefully with our new Superior Ruler, we will no longer have so many complications in the world. Sir Super Shatner will be in charge of the entire world. He will have a fortress called ShaTemple, and it will sit on the island of ShaTopia. Sir Super Shatner will own all of it, and only those who he trusts the most will help keep it in tact. Plans are already underway to safely move him to the ShaTemple on ShaTopia. And once he is settled there, he will begin ruling the world. Many changes will take place. All things will be brought to his attention. He will make the final decisions on everything. This will eliminate so many of our arguments between current rulers of nations. Everyone will be created equal in the eyes of Sir Super Shatner. Unless of course you choose not to follow him. Then you will be looked down upon, and cast away from the followers, so that you will not pose as a threat. You will be kept under close watch by Sir Super Shatner's spies. As soon as you prove yourself to Sir Super Shatner and show him that you are one of his followers, or Shatnerees, then you will be welcome under his rule. But if you are dishonest, you will yet again be cast out and forced to live among the non-Shatnerees. You will still have your freedom, but you will be kept from making the wrong decisions, and you must oblige the punishment that is listed in the rules of Sir Super Shatner. Many men will compete with each other to learn the ways of Sir Super Shatner so that they one day will be the next ruler. But much skill is needed to be worthy of such a title. The women will be competing against each other for the title of the Shatneress. The Shatneress is she who sits beside Sir Super Shatner in the ShaTemple, on ShaTopia, and fulfills his needs. The Shatneress shall be looked upon as a great woman, for she is that who provides pleasure to Sir Super Shatner. When Sir Super Shatner smiles in the morning, you know it is because of the Shatneress. It is natural to fear the power of Sir Super Shatner, but he only wants to make the world a better place. So open up to him, put your trust in him, and let Sir Super Shatner guide you into a better, more secure world.
LET'S JOIN WILLIAM SHATNER & HELP THE KIDS!
A) The Laws Of Sir Super Shatner:
- Star Trek, the Original Series, will be shown 7 days a week, and will never be interrupted, by no means.
- Rescue 911 will resume airing, and will take over America's Most Wanted.
- Every town must have a Star Trek movie playing in at least one theatre at all times.
- The words Captain, Picard, and/or Enterprise shall never be spoken in the same sentence.
B) If You Choose To Follow Sir Super Shatner In His Ruling Of The World, You Will Be Rewarded So:
- The permission to tell people that Sir Super Shatner is your friend, although he has the right to deny that you are *his* friend.
- Those passing Sir Super Shatner on the street may, if so inclined, bow down to him and request to shine his shoes. Unless he's wearing unshinable shoes, in which case you may offer to dust his feet off.
- A free, best money can buy, Super Toupee for all those who need/want one.
- Access to every known movie, series, commercial, book, magazine, audio tape, etc. that contains Sir Super Shatner for your viewing/listening/reading pleasure.
C) Those Who Choose Not To Follow Sir Super Shatner, Will Be Forced To Endure The Following:
- Constant subjection to Sir Super Shatner's Greatest Hits.
- Two 3- hour sessions a day of balancing every book, in its hardback form, written by Sir Super Shatner in each hand with arms fully extended.
- Continual exposure to hundreds of Sir Super Shatner fan's impersonations of Captain Kirk.
- Round the clock viewing of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.