Sounds to Howl To
The Secret Files of the Rubbish Music
(Outside of a house at night: Radio D.J. is heard)
D.J.: And that was "Buy me a Soda and some Love" by the Sand-crabs.
(Cut to living-room: A man and a small black dog sit on the couch next to a little table with the radio on)
And now the newest from the Minkees called "She Hangs Up".
(Radio plays some intro and gibberish sounds. The dog, getting this corkscrew look in his eyes, jumps off the couch and throws his head up howling like a coyote. The man squints putting his hands over his ears)
Man: Ahh Lucky, what's gotten into you?
(Cut to Spy Dogs intro)
(Cut to Ralph's house during the day: his master in sitting in the back yard in a lawn chair in sunglasses listening to the radio. Ralph is sitting on the ground beside him panting.)
D.J.: Now, for all you groovy people out there, another from the Minkees:
"Love is Only Dozing a Bit".
(Same noise as before is heard again and Ralph begins to get that urge to howl like the dog before. As he howls, his master is startled and turns down the radio scowling down at Ralph)
Master: Ralph, bad dog. What's gotten with you? (Pointing) In the house, now.
(Ralph sulks into the house. After fully in, he stands up on two feet)
Ralph: Whoa, what was that about? I'd better call Dog Zero and tell him and fast.
(Cut to bathroom: Dog Zero's transmission in projected onto the wall through the toilet)
Dog Zero: I know Ralph and something's got to be done. Look at these poor dogs.
(Scenes of masters' scolding dogs and throwing them out of the house are projected up on the wall)
They can't help what's happening to them. Soon all dogs will be thrown on the streets if we don't stop it. Ralph, we can't let this happen.
Ralph: I know sir, but I can't do it alone.
Dog Zero: Right. I think wee need reinforcements. Ralph, I'm joining you up with Wooly, Dimples, and Shorty for this one.
Ralph: Hey, my old band from High Dog School.
Dog Zero: You must find who's doing this and stop it immediately. For dog's sake, Ralph.
Ralph: Right sir. Oh, and can I bring Scribble along? He's always wanted to sing back up for a band.
Dog Zero: Sure, Ralph. Go right ahead. Dog Zero signing off.
(Ralph and Scribble are waiting on a street corner were they are joined shortly after by Dimples, Shorty, and Wooly, who is wearing a wool hat)
Ralph: So good to see you guys after all these years. (They sniff each other's butt, yet only their tales are seen, they then get back up) This is Scribble. Everyone say hi to Scribble...
All: Hi Scribble.
(Scribble takes off Woolly’s hat
Wooly: Hey, give that back. (Scribble then starts chewing it and making wired noises) Can you ask your little dog friend to give me my hat back?
(Ralph starts pulling on the hat until Scribble finally lets go then hands the hat back to Wooly, which has a bunch of holes in it. Wooly looks at the hat, throws it out and pulls another one out exactly like the first from his fur and puts it on.)
Ralph: So do you guys know where the rubbish music is coming from that is making dogs go crazy?
Shorty: Well we tracked it down to Bolgem records. But that's all the information we have got.
Ralph: Well lets step to it.
Dimples: On what? What are we stepping on?
Ralph: No, I meant let’s go.
Dimples: Oh. OK. (All five walk down the road.)
(They enter Bolgem Records where there are four guys standing around one has curly brown hair w/ drum sticks, one with light brown hair w/ bass guitar, one short guy with English accent w/ tambourine, and a tall Texan w/ 12-string. Then an older man comes in and starts talking with them. The dogs are standing in a corner behind some cases and peak around it one on top of another, Shroty, Ralph, Dimples, Wooly.)
Short Guy (Davy): 'Ey Krishner, when do we start recording today?
Texan (Mike): Yeah and today we want to play on the recordings
Light Brown Haired Guy (Peter): Yeah, with our interments.
Krishner: You guys will do what I say and I will decide when you get to play.
And we start in one hour you hear.
(Krishner then leaves and the dogs come out and each jump on the corresponding guys. Scribble stays in the corner scratching.)
Curly Haired Guy (Micky): Hey look at these groovy looking dogs. Check it out, this one looks just like my dog.
Wooly: Dimples get out your Forgetting gun Angus gave you.
Dimples: What gun?
Wooly: The long gray thing with the buttons.
Dimples: Oh, right.
(Dimples pulls out a gray wond from behind him and presses a button. Circle waves come off it and the four guys stop struggling. Their eyes become hypnotic looking with red corkscrew circles and get vacant smiles. The dogs join back up.)
Ralph: I didn't know Angus invented a Forgetting gun. But why didn't it work on us?
Shorty: Angus tuned it to only work on humans.
Dimples: Yeah, but who's Angus?
Ralph: Oh no, it affected Dimples.
Wooly: (whispering to Ralph) No. He's always like that. Remember?
Ralph: (to Wooly) Oh yeah. (To everybody) Let’s catch up with Krishner.
Shorty: But I thought it was these guys (indicating the four dazed musicians) who were making the music.
Ralph: No, Krishner's the bad guy. He has that bad guy-yness to him. These guys are obviously harmless.
Dimples: We still can't leave them like this. If they wake up, they won't remember a thing.
Wooly: One of us has to follow Krishner while the rest of us give these guys new memories.
(Everyone looks to Scribble who is still scratching and chewing on himself)
(Cut to Krishner's evil computer room. Krishner walks off an elevator followed by Scribble shortly after but Krishner doesn't notice. He walks up to a computer with a bunch of colored buttons and a guy in a white lab coat is next to him already working at the computer. Scribble runs in and hides under a table.)
Ralph: (from over Scribbles collar) Scribble, can you read me?
(Scribble makes incoherent barking noises in recognition. Cut the Krishner)
Krishner: How's it coming?
Lab Man: Almost finished scrambling "Sandy's Cows Lick".
Krishner: Excellent. Soon all the Minkees music will be scrambled making dogs everywhere howl annoying their masters. Then, all the dogs will be left to live in the wet gutters eating trash and rolling in the mud never to sit on the couch by a hot fire again.
(Back to Scribble growling quietly)
Ralph: (over collar) Quiet Scribble. I have to hear the rest of the plan.
(Back to Krishner)
Krishner: I have to get back to the studio. Now, the Minkees want to play their own music. The thought makes me laugh. (Evil laughter)
(Cut back to Ralph and others)
Ralph: He's coming back. Are you finished?
Wooly: Yeah. Now they have no recollection of us being here and I gave back their names, what they are doing here with Krishner and let see and gave them back their acting ability.
Ralph: Acting ability? But they were musicians.
Shorty: If they can't have their music, why don't you just give them a weekly television show.
Ralph: That's not a bad idea?
Dimples: What was not a bad idea?
Ralph: A weekly TV show. Where do you come up with these things Shorty?
Shorty: Well I…
Ralph: And I got the perfect name for the show: The Minkees!
Ralph: OK then take it like that then.
Wooly: Oh yeah one thing I forgot. There might have been a few kinks in the Unforgetting gun.
Ralph: What kind of kinks?
Wooly: You know odds and ends. And maybe the fact that I never did this before
Ralph: Oh boy. Well I guess the best thing we can do is sit back and watch how much you messed up these guys lives
Just then Scribble walks back in. And starts braking.
Ralph: Krishner is coming back...hide
Wooly: How do you understand that dog?
(The Minkees have regained their memory. Krishner had just walked in.)
Krishner: Micky, I need you to record your vocals on the next track.
Peter: Yeah sure be there in one minute.
Krishner: Not you, Micky. M-I-C-K-Y.
Peter: Yes that’s me.
Krishner: No not you Peter.
Mike: No I'm Peter
Krishner: When will you guys learn that this business is not a joking one. (Grabs the curly hair guy by the neck of the shirt and walks out of the room.)
Davy (Mike): Boy what is wrong with that guy.
Peter: Yeah, you'd think after working with us for this long he'd have gotten our names right.
(The rest of the Minkees walk out of the room and the spy dogs come out.)
Shorty: Dimples why didn't you get Krishner with the forgetting gun? He was right there.
Dimples: It ran out of power must have been when we used it the first time.
Wooly: Now what are we going to do?
Ralph: Well for one thing we have to follow them. Hey, has anyone seen Scribble?
(In the Computer Room, Micky is standing in a recording studio in front of a mic.)
Krishner: Now Micky start singing. NOW
Micky: I'm telling you I'm not Micky I'm Davy.
Krishner: Then Davy, start singing.
(Scribble, from out of nowhere, comes and starts chewing on Krishner leg.)
Krishner: Ack! A dog! Who dog is this? I Hate dogs!
Micky (Davy): Well it's not mine. But he's kinda cute.
(Krishner Picks Scribble up by the collar and walks back into the other room. With Scribble in his hands holding by the collar, he shows him to the other Minkees, who're sitting at a table in the computer room.).
Krishner: Who's DOG?
All Minkees: Not mine.
Ralph: (from behind the computer) Hit the button now!
(Dimples pulls out the Forgetting Gun and presses the button. The circle waves come off of it again. Krirshner become hypnotized with his expression. The Minkees are not affected.)
Micky (Davy): Hey Krishner, what's up. You OK?
Ralph: (behind the computer, whispering) Dimples, why didn't it work on the others?
Dimples: (whispering) I don't know. I guess if it's already used on a person, it can't be used again.
Shorty: Oh this is just great. First we mess up the Minkees memory and now we can't fix it.
Wooly: Well, look at the bright side, at least we got Krishner
Micky (Davy): Well now I've seen everything.
Peter (Micky): I'll say. Do you think now he'll let us play our own instruments?
Mike (Peter): Yeah, and write all our own music.
Davy (Mike): And star in our own show. (The others look at him) What?
Peter (Micky): But you know it's not that bad of an idea.
Mike (Peter): But first lets record the album.
(They go to their instruments and they try to play but it sounds really bad.
Cut Spy Dogs headquarters: Ralph, Scribble, Angus and the others are standing in the main computer room looking at a screen at the Minkees in the recording studio)
Ralph: I still can't help feeling guilty for them not being able to play their instruments.
Wooly: But Ralph, it was my fault they forgot who they were.
Dimples: (to Angus) Angus, is there something we can do to reverse it's affects?
Angus: Well, after further studies with the Forgetting Gun, I've found that its affects are temporary. (Everyone cheers) However, it takes 48 hours for it to where off.
Shorty: But they're gonna start recording now. What can we do?
Ralph: I've got it (he snaps his figers). The Doggy Links.
Angus and Scribble: (Scribble just makes a noise) What?
Wooly: Of course. It was our band back in High Dog School. If I do say so, I played one mean guitar.
Dimple: Yeah and I wailed like a coyote at the moon.
Ralph: Angus, is that recording studio still in section K?
Angus: You know it Ralph.
Ralph: C'mon guys. We're gonna play like there's no tomorrow.
Angus: (with hands over his ears as the Minkees continue to try to play) And with the way they're playing, there won't be.
(Cut to recording studio: The Doggy Links and Scribble assemble they're instruments. Ralph on the drums. Wooly is on the guitar. Dimples on the piano. And Shorty has a tambourine and maraca in each paw. Scribble just stood in front with Shorty as he does.)
Dimples: (out the window of the studio to Angus) Ready when you are Angy baby.
Angus: Pleas don't call me that would ya laddy? All right, I've hooked you into their studio. Now what ever you play is recorded there. Your call now Ralph.
Ralph: All right guys. Just like in High Dog School.
(He counts off and the Doggy Links starts singing some doggy song with a very doggy romp. (Gonna Buy Me a Dog). Final scene shows the four dogs High-Fiving where from there it fades to the next scene
(Ralph is laying on the couch with his master who is listening to the radio.)
D.J.: And now the newest form the Minkees who seem to be growing in there own fame with there first own recorded hit album and a new television show. And here are the Minkees with 'Gonna Buy Me a Dog'.
(Radio plays the song the Doggy Links recorded. Ralph quietly sighs to himself at the sound of his own voice singing the song. Suddenly his collar rings and, after noticing it, sneaks off the couch and unknown to his master. Ralph walks to the bathroom where Dog Zero's projection is up on the wall)
Ralph: What is it Dog Zero? Another emergency?
Dog Zero: Not quite Ralph. It seems that Angus miscalculated the affects of the Forgetting gun they gain all of there music talents back and the Minkees are to perform a concert in Smallton. Since their album their population has grown to enormous proportions. And they would like to find the 'Doggy Links' who helped them out.'
Ralph: Say no more Dog Zero. I'll call the guys and we'll be on it.
Dog Zero: You’re a good dog Ralph. Good luck. (Dog Zero fades out)
Ralph: (to himself) Look out Smallton. The Doggy Links are comin' to your town. (Ralph smiles to himself. Fade to commercial)
Return to Collaborations...