- We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
- Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog- Dorothy
- All generalizations are false
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
- Out of my mind- Back in five minutes
- Cover me- I'm changing lanes
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Forget about World Peace- Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep
- All men are Idiots, and I married their King!
- Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
- Few women admit their age, Few men act it!
- I don't suffer from insanity- I enjoy every minute of it!
- Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!
- IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
- Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
- Born Free- Taxed to Death
- I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather- Not screaming
and yelling like the passengers in his car
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
- I Brake For No Apparent Reason
- When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS