If You Love Somebody You Gotta Let Them Go

Title: When you love some body you gotta let them go.

Author: Nightbird

Feedback: Wanted dead or alive on list or off

Couple: Buffy and Angel

Classification: Sad angst fic I haven't written Buffy/ Angel fic for awhile.

Spoilers: Possible "Angel's new show"

Summary: Angel looks back over the last 2 years

Distribution: Buffyfanfiction2, BtVSfic, Welcometothehellmouth and My site Vampire Lodge (http://buffy.acmecity.com/master/288) if yah want it ask me.

Disclaimer: Joss owns all not me. My name is not Joss my name is Nightbird.

Notes: I haven't seen the third season so I'm leaving the third season out of it.

I watch your face as I walk away. Your face collapses and I know that if I stop and comfort you I won't be able to leave and it's better for us if I do. I sit here in my new apartment and sigh. Thinking about the past two years.

I remember the first time I saw you, You were sitting outside of your school in LA and Merrick was telling you that you were the chosen one. I watched you that night kill your first vamp. It took you a while to find the heart but you managed.

Whistler said you'd have it tough he wasn't wrong there. When you first moved to Sunnydale I followed you to the bronze. I should of known you'd sense me but I was surprised at the way you got me by swinging from that bar and hitting me in the chest. I fell for you that night. No other slayer had such grace and used words that cut to the bone. I gave you a cross. You'll never know how it hurt to hold that box. I tried not to fall for you. Told you I was a friend you said "What makes you think I need a friend?" I replied "I never said I was yours"

The next time I saw you I tried to stop you from going to the Master fearing that you might die. You said to me "I have a friend or a potential friend down there. Do you know what a friend is?" I just stared at you I couldn't think of any friends. You said, "That wasn't suppose to be a stumper". The next time I saw you I gave you my jacket and some info on a vamp.

I stayed away after that until "The three" attacked you. You invited me in and cleaned my cuts. I spent the night on the floor next to your bed listening to you breath. I told you I couldn't stay cause all I want to do is kiss you. You looked at me and murmured "Kiss me" I kissed you and the bloodlust took over. I pulled away and you looked up to see my true face shining through. You screamed and I jumped out the window and ran. Darla bit your mother and ran leaving me with the body. You threw me through the window.

You tried to fight me but I killed Darla before she killed you. We both said it would be better if we stayed away from each other. We kissed one last time and you walked away little did you know that with that kiss you branded me with the cross I gave you. I ran into you at the bronze you introduced me to your date I was jealous but I stayed away only came back to help Giles get a book. He guessed I was in love with you he said "A Vampire in love with a slayer rather poetic" I had to agree. I rescued Giles, Xander and Willow from the gas filled basement. He told them it was the janitor so you wouldn't be reminded of me.

The next time you saw me I was talking to Giles about the prophecy about your death. You heard us and freaked. You said you quit after yelling "What do you know you're never gonna die" at me. You walked out yet you still went against the master and when I found you, you were dead. Xander did CPR and revived you. That night you killed the master. You went to LA to see your dad and when you came back you were cold and indifferent. In an attempt to make me jealous which worked (you said) you danced with Xander I said you mated with him. They tried to revive the Master but you stopped them and ground his bones into powder with a hammer and then collapsed crying in my arms.

Next we found an empty grave and many body parts in a Dumpster. Some guys were pulling a Frankenstein you soon put a stop to that though. Spike and Drusilla came back to Sunnydale and attacked the school on parent teacher night. We stopped them as well. Next you found a bracelet I pointed out there was blood on it I could smell it. You asked me if I wanted to go for coffee and we fought cause I pointed out I was 215 years older than you. You went to a frat party and were almost fed to a snake monster. Willow chewed Giles and me out and later in the bronze I asked if you wanted to go for a coffee? You said maybe.

Everything went down hill soon Spike and Dru kidnapped me to bring Dru back to full health but you stopped them and send an organ crashing down on them. We thought they were dead until just before your 17th birthday when you started have dreams again and Spike and Dru released the Judge. We went to see if they had reanimated the judge and just escaped with our lives. That night we let our passion guides us and I lost my soul I spent the next few weeks terrorising you and killing people close to you like Miss Calendar.

I tried to bring back the demon Alcthla and suck the world into hell. We fought and Willow recursed me but it was too late. He was breathing out the vortex that would suck earth into hell. I still remember our last words "what's happening, Buffy?" "Sh.. It doesn't matter" You kissed me and said, "I love you" I replied "I love you." The last words you said to me were "Close your eyes" and then you stabbed me thought the stomach and sent me to hell.

I'll miss you Buffy but I would be no good to you. You deserve a husband and Kids and all the things that I can't do for you like picnics in the sun. I' ll always love you but you must move on to the living not the undead.

Always remember, "That it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before"