COLLEEN'S NAKED GROOVE FEST:
An interview with Colleen
Colleen, co-founder and hostess of the concert, had this to say last year about the premier of the event. This interview was conducted about two weeks prior to the first concert.
DISCLAIMER: DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING INTERVIEW IF YOU HAVE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS:
1) YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR, PARTICULARLY SARCASM
2) YOU HAVE TAKEN MEDICATION IN THE LAST TWENTY FOUR HOURS
3) YOU ARE PREGNANT, OR SUFFER FROM HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, DYSENTERY, OR THE BLACK PLAGUE
Colleen, what inspired you to want to host a concert?
I was visited in the night by an Indian man with no pants on. He was an avid fan of the smurfs, and forced me to watch the cartoon with him because it made him "feel nice." During the cartoon, the smurfs began playing music and tranquility ensued. I realized then that music is the answer to the eternal question. Besides, I just bit my tongue.
What do you hope that people will get out of this concert?
I'm hoping it will be a festive occasion, filled with a spirit of peace, love, and unity. That, and I want everyone to remember how nice I was when I make my attempt to take over the world.
Where does the name of the concert come from?
The Indian man wanted it to be called LEENIEPALOOZA, but that didn't get past the board of directors that oversee my life. I just thought it was fun name. It's fun to say the words naked and groove. It's fun to be naked.
Will there be any animal sacrifice involved?
In the grand tradition of Ozzy Osbourne and Judas Priest, there will be poutry available for ritualistic slaughter. However, the methods of slaughter are still in question. If all else fails, yaks will be brought in to be circumsized by Undacova.
Who's yo daddy?
He da man.
What is the meaning of life?
Eternal harmony through music. And sex. Lots of sex.
NOTE TO READERS: COLLEEN WAS HEAVILY SEDATED WHEN SHE GAVE THESE ANSWERS. MOST OF THEM ARE FALSE. WELL, SOME OF THEM ARE FALSE.
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