Those thoughts.
The insane ones...I get those.
I wonder why all the time.
Why, when I watch a friend or
nice looking person walk down the
steps in school,
My mind pictures them tripping
and flying through the air to fall
hard.
Blood flies as the others just
walk by...
As I, alone and frightened and
feeling guilty
As if it were my fault just
because I was looking at them,
Staring at a fatal-positioned body.
I don't think I am insane,
I think it's because I am one
who cannot understand or handle
the hate and pain in this world.
That I struggle with it everyday...
Making me picture everything that
could and is going wrong in this
screwed-up world.
And that is why I am angry.
And I cannot control my anger.
But instead of hurting I picture
it.
As if it's not allowed.
Because if I were happy it would
be wrong.
I’d feel guilty.
And I’d rather be angry than
feeling guilty.
So maybe my anger is the cause
of these thoughts?
I wish I knew so I could get
rid of them.