My Longest Journey .... Finding Me

02-02-04
09-17-07
I did reach goal weight but medical problems have set me back.
I will not give up....

06-14-03
I am still losing so who knows where I will stop. Thank you to all that have supported me!!! To Ray....I love you so much.

05-01-03
I am 5 lbs. from goal weight! I cannot describe how wonderful being healthy is for me. What I can describe is the need for clothes (size 14/16 pant and med./large shirt....in case anyone feels sorry for me:)...I would recogmend this surgery to anyone battling weight. I had a great doctor...Dr. Gaar from Louisville. If anyone has a question about my journey....please e-mail me....I will share any part of my journey with you so you may find your way too.

01-05-03
This year I actually had something great to celebrate...a new lease on life! I am losing slow but still losing.

12-10-02
I have lost 3 more lbs!!! I am having problems with back pain. Tummy is stilll hanging (pardon the pun) around. I am back on my good eating train!!! 35 lbs to goal!

11-21-02
I have lost 2 lbs. My life is being plagued by plateaus. It is my fault. NO EXCUSES! I have been on a four week carb binge. I am down -129. Weight is now 188!!! I am wearing size16/18 pants because my panni area it sticking around till last!

10-10-02
Sorry so long since I posted but I was on a plateau anyway. BUT....I have now broke through the 200's and weigh 198!!! Total loss of -119! I Started some protein drinks when my weight loss started to slow and for some reason that seemed to put the brakes on my weight loss. I stopped the drinks and immediately lost 4 lbs. Go figure...

09-11-02
I have now lost 109lbs! No problems. I was having some dizziness and so I had blood tests done and everything came back fine....come to find out that I have a very bad ear infection...go figure! I have now lost 66% of my excess body weight so I guess I am considered a success all ready but I am not done YET!

MY LOSS CHART

Feb. - starting weight - 317lbs
March - 281 (-36)
April - 265 (-16)
May - 245 (-20)
June - 237 (-8)
July - 225 (-12)
Aug. - 215 (-10)
Sept. - 201 (-14)
Oct. - 190 (-11)
Nov. - 188 (-2)
Dec. - 178 (-10)
Jan. - 172 (-6)
Feb. - 168 (-4)
Mar. - 165 (-3)
Apr. - 156 (-9)
May. - 152 (-4)
June - 150 (-2) GOAL WEIGHT!!!
Feb. 2004 - Maintaining weight at 140lbs.

08-15-02
drum roll please.... 100LBS GONE!!!!!! I HAVE MADE IT!!!!! First personal goal achieved!!! I HAVE LOST 100LBS!!!! I am sorry but I just have to shout! I am open-RNY 5months and three weeks out. Starting weight - 317 (NOW 217...shouting again)height - 5'3"...Now I am working toward getting out of the 200's...one step at a time....

08-08-02
Here I am again...now...3lbs away from 100lbs loss. I am experiencing some tiredness so my doc is running some blood tests. I think I am just low on iron. 5.5 months out and weigh 220....just a little more and I can say good-bye to the 200's forever!!!!

07-24-02
OMG....225!!!! I am only 8 lbs away from a 100 lb. loss!!!

07-11-02
I am now down to 234....WooooHoooo....I am working out on my personal exercise machines and going to water aerobics. I feel so great. I am doing so much that I never thought that I would do again. I am so looking forward to our state fair! I am going to walk all over it!!!

06-27-02
Well, I finally broke my plateau and I am now at an 80lb. loss. I am down to 237 from 317!!! I know I am not getting enough protein in and I cheat occasionally but all in all things are going good. I am a little tired lately but that may just be the hotttt weather and not enough rest.

05-28-02
WooHoo!!! I am 72% to my first goal of 100lb. loss and I am 45% to my Doctor's goal for me of 150lb. loss. Last night I rode a real bike for the first time in 22 years! I hurt all over today...heehee! (14 week post-op...-72lbs)

05-06-02
10.5 weeks post-op....-60lbs. ooorah!

04-22-02
I made it half way to my first personal goal of 100lbs lost. I was soooo happy to get on the scale this morning and see that 50lbs gone. I never count the loss till it reads the same several days in a roll. I go up and down around the same lbs. for a day or two then I drop again. This used to drive me crazy but now I take it as just me...quirky.

04-19-02
8 weeks post-op....drum roll please...-49 lbs. Only one more to go to the 50 lb. mark. I had a minor plateau but I just kept on thinking positive. My incision has healed well. And everything is dandy...no probelms.

04-09-02
Well here I am....6 weeks post-op...(-45lbs). I am feeling great. I am back to work and things are really looking up. No regrets. I walked everywhere this last weekend and my husband smiled at me constantly. Ain't love grand. I am getting into old clothes that I haven't been able to wear in years. I am soooo happy! (weight 272, BMI 46, loss 45lbs)

03-19-02
Just an update for those who wish to follow this path:)....As of the last 48 hours I seems to have overcome some hurtle and seem to have rejoined the land of the living.....I slept all night in my bed and no aches and nausea when I got up. Yeahhhh!!!!!....I will be four weeks post-op Sat. and so far I am -32 lbs. Today I noticed my clothes starting to become larger....or is it me shrinking!!!! You all will never be sorry to do this....I still have MAJOR head hunger at night but learning to deal with it....energy level is great...and NO back pains when walking!!!

03-13-02
I attended a support group meeting last night and I am feeling much better. My Doctor was there and when I told him of my emotional ups and downs he smiled. I guess he has heard this many times before. OMG but my incision in itching!!!! My whole stomach is itching...I had open distal RNY. Everyone says I am "normal" with the emotions and all the healing issues. First time anyone has ever said I was normal (LOL).

03-12-02
I have made it to the "What the hell have I done" phase. Depression sucks.

03-08-02
(2weeks/-22 lbs)I am eating fine, no problems. I have lots of gas but controlled by gas-x. My incision is leaking and I think I have developed a sernoma...I am having trouble with nausea in the morning. If you have any suggestions please mail me. Worst of all...I am getting smacked with depression...I am making my self write this... I am sleeping in my bed now, mostly on my back and slightly on my side. Off pain meds.

02-28-02
I am measuring everything. I seem to have no problem with any foods, so far. I am on soft foods of any kind. I ate a the inside of a low sodium low fat pot pie for supper….Lord did I have surgery or did the doc just cut me open? Still sore but doing better. Am I sorry....never!!!!

02-27-02
OMG - my muscles are screaming….the spasms have stiffened my waist all around…walk….walk…walk.

02-26-02
Going home. The nutritionist came in and talked to me about what not to eat. (sugars, caffeine….) The ride was hell. Still sleeping in a chair.

02-25-02
I got my first pureed meal, yuck. My doc. Skips the fluid week if everything seems ok. It must be VERY OK. I had no g-tube or drain tube coming out of surgery.

02-24-02
I was up about noon and walking that afternoon. I had my leak test and got a popsicle!!!! After the first night I refused to sleep I the bed because moving up and down stimulated the spasms. By the way, the leak test is not that bad….the x-ray on a flat metal table is terrible.

02-23-02
Sat morning, In pre-op and of course they could not fine a vein. They decided to fine one after I was out. I was not nervous at all…I woke up in recovery and started my affair with Mr. Pain…It was awful. They soon had me hooked up to the LA LA pump. I had Demerol. The surgery went fine but I had severe muscle spasms in my stomach and back. A family member said she could see my stomach muscles moving! These spasms are rare…lucky me. The pump was not helping the pain so they gave me a drug every four hours called tordol. This controlled the spasms to a low scream and helped a lot.

02-23-02

I am on my way....and I am so scared....see everyone on the other side. Thank you each and everyone.
P.S. I have the best husband in the world....and the most beautuful daughter...of course I am biased.

02-22-23

What is wrong with the "I have a date" page, it will not update! My daughter Desiree and Amanda my angel will be posting for me for the next few days. 15 hours to go!!!

02-21-02
Two more days to go. A special thanks to all of you that are wishing me well. I could not have made this journey without this site. And since everyone else has been wishing me well ...mother nature came to call too. OH yeah! :(...

02-20-02
Just a note...I will be at Norton's Hospital downtown Louisville....My surgery page refuses to update for some reason and has the incorrect location.

2-19-02
I am pre-registered at Norton's....ready to go....

02-18-02
I think that the day will never get here!!!! I went for more pre-op testing Saturday (some of my prior tests were too old, go figure) and I had to reschedule for Tuesday due to some mix-up. I just want to get this over. I am starting to get scared. I am having trouble sleeping and I am dreaming a lot which means I am fretting. I am trying to keep up a brave front but I am very nervous.

02-14-02
Wooohoooo!!!!....I have a date....Feb. 23rd at 10am at Norton Hospital in Louisville, Ky. I have to drink only liquids 72 hours before surgery and that is it.

02-12-02
I happy sooo happy....I get a date on Thursday (about time) and I have found a protein supplement that I feel I can tolerate. I have tried a lot pre-op so that I would have something when I got home. I have settled on two that I intend to exchange so that I don't get burned out one one or the other. I am going to use proteinex (two tablespoon have 15 gm protein no carbs and tastes like baby aspirin....hey I like baby aspirin) :)...also I am using cher-amino (tastes like robitussin cough syrup but the same as proteinex in proteins and carbs).

02-07-02
I am so upset, seems that my doctor was taking patients this week and some that just got approval will be in surgery while I am still waiting....I am so happy for them but frustrated for me....this waiting is awful!

01-31-02
Guess What!!!! My doctor isn't doing anything for the next two weeks. I have been rescheduled to Feb. 14th. Still no surgery date! I am so close yet so far.

01-30-02
Will get my date tomorrow! Lalalalal...heheh!

01-24-02
Yeah! No surgery date but I have an appt. on the 31st of Jan. and they say I will have a date then...It is soooo good to be moving forward again! For anyone waiting on Dr. Gaar...Susan is not doing the scheduling...the new number is 502-583-8303 and Regina is the secretary's name. I kept waiting for Susan to call me this month and got tired of waiting. I called her and she referred me to the new office...got an appt. immediately!

12-12-01
Still waiting for a surgery date....depression is hard to stay above and I am physically tired a lot.

11-08-01
My insurance company called...they will pay for my pre-op testing....Yahhhhh!

11-08-01
Doctor Gaar's secretary has stated that Dr. Gaar could do my gall bladder surgery if needed before my gastric by-pass. I hope I can hold on so I don't have to go through that. Looks like it will be Feb. or Mar. before I get my surgery...no date yet. Seems like the Doc has to go over all the approvals and then decide when to start scheduling surgery dates again. Oh, how I hate hanging in limbo.

11-05-01
Still no word from my doctor.

11-02-01
Now my doctor is not scheduling any surgeries till Feb. 2002...What else is going to happen. My employer is wanting to know a date and so am I. Communication with my doctor is non-existent. I even feel like crying when I talk to the secretary so I have my husband call. I always feel like I am bothering her. I hate this!!!! But everyone in the chat room said it was normal...thanks to everyones' shoulder that I cried on :)...I looked into getting another surgeon but it would only save about a month due to the holidays coming up. If anyone has any suggestions to my insurance situation or my doctor situation please feel free to e-mail me. I need all the support I can get right now....getting very stressed out and depressed.

11-01-01
Still fighting with Insurance. They have approved my surgery (yahhhhhhh!) however: just still not the pre-op testing...go figure? Now I just need a surgery date.

10-31-01
Insurance is refusing to pay for the pre-op testing because...they say...doctor needed to get pre-cert. for surgery before the testing. I have filed an appeal. Tests came to over $3000.00!

10-29-01
Insurance company cannot find my pre-cert. request again! This time we faxed it. This now make the third time it has been sent in two weeks!!!

10-25-01
Have been cleared by the cardiologist....still waiting on ins. approval.....

10-23-01
Insurance letter has been sent....waiting....

10-18-01
Well....I have gall stones so no tests on Friday. Susan, Dr. Gaar's secretary is filling my insurance request...Dr. Gaar will remove my gallbladder during surgery. I hope I have a date soon....I still have to get a release from my cardiologist....I have an appt. on 10-25-01....then we wait on the insurance.

10/11/01
First round of tests are completed...everything looks ok. For those that are as apprehensive as I was about the tests, here they are and a brief discription of each....

8:30am - Blood tests and urine test - one sitck in the arm, and pee in a cup :) no problem.
9:00am - pulmonary function test - just breathing in tubes, no problem.
9:30 - Blood Gas test - small needle inserted in wrist and blood taken from artery, mild discomfort, a little pain.
10:00 - chest x-ray, painless.
10:15 - Ultra sound on gallbadder and upper ab. - uncomfortable but not too bad mostly pressure.
10:45 - Upper GI - have to drink Barium, chalky and not too tasty...yuck...but no pain.
12:00 - EKG - small tabs attached to upper body and heart monitored - painless.
12:30 - Ultra sound on legs - uncomfortable but painless.
1:00 - Heart Echo - Just an ultra sound on the heart, also uncomfortable but painless.
All Done!!!!!

Go back on the 19th for two more tests, then I hope a surgery date will be scheduled.

09/26/01
Meet Dr. Gaar on Wednesday! Really was impressed with his easy going attitude and the way he takes his time to explain everything. Tests are scheduled, yuck... I am going to my first seminar this Wed. night (8-29-01)! I have my first Appointment with Dr. Gaar in Louisville Sept. 26th. I have been married for 22 years.

I promised my husband that we would celebrate our 50th wedding anniverary together....

I intend to keep that promise.

The yearning that leads us back to our roots is inherent.
It was the first way of life that we knew.
It is the place that shaped our heart.

The inevitable parting the comes as we
leave the nest can become bitter sweet or a matter of sanity.
Torn between the excitement of life on your own
and the pain of the leaving loved ones behind.
We often hurt the ones we love most.

Regret can cripple your life
Leaving nothing on which to focus on but the past.
It's only when you find the strength to return
And face your errors and those of others
That the true healing begins.

The brave ones are the ones who aren't afraid to go home....

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