Nostalgia

    
She put her roots into unfamiliar soil
not by choice, exactly, but not
an unwelcome change
Too much of life is spent
in the same place
    
Her dreams became haunting
with double deja vu, or not quite
deja vu; memories she didn't recognize
yet, thought she should
Mornings like memories
evenings of foreign breezes
    
The sun was at a different angle
barely perceptible change
The stars flew across the sky
following slightly different paths
no one around her
understood her uneasiness
    
Her roots didn't find the water
or nutrients beneath the soil
Something was missing
The leaf-blood ran blue, not
green; soon the leaves 
of those around her
began to turn colors, 
just ripening, like peaches,
oranges, reds, 
unfamiliar aging
    
Her cycles of inspiration,
expiration didn't match the heaving
of the earth around her.
The stars spun out of sync
Something was different, she didn't know
what, or why
    
The breezes brushed past her hurriedly
going where she had already come
silent memories of untouchable
lives, nights, leaves, days
The geese went away from her
not looking back, casting asymmetrical
shadows across freezing ponds
    
She wasn't sure the ponds were real
or imagined.  Memory, tangible
breath slowly switched places, 
lines blurred, autumn arrived without --
    
Her roots never made it deep
enough into the soil
She fed on memories as long as she could
It wasn't long enough, 
deep enough,
before winter came.


17 September 1999

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