Episode 4 ‘N SYNC WARS!
The members of ‘N Sync band together to help save the music world from the clutches of the Backstreet Boys. Princess Lancey, having no other choice after Nick Vader takes control of her (I mean his) ship, sends 2 droids, Sync3P0 and N2D2, down to the nearest planet where an unsuspecting boy of unusual cockiness lives.
SETTING: The droids make their way to Justin Skywalker’s home on the planet Wannabe. They walk (or whatever they do) up to Justin from behind.
SYNC3PO: Greetings oh pubescent one.
JUSTIN: What the hell are yalls’ doin’, sneakin’ up on me like dat?
SYNC3PO: My apologies sir. But we come with an urgent message from Princess Lancey.
JUSTIN: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm… a princess, huh. All right, let’s see the fly honey.
-N2D2 opens a video tape containing an urgent message from Princess Lancey-
P.LANCEY: Help me, Obechris Kanobe. You’re my only hope.
JUSTIN: Uhhh…What the hell was dat? That ain’t no Princess, dat’s a guy.
SYNC3PO: He prefers to be called Lance, sir.
JUSTIN: Sure, whatever. Hmmm… the only Kanobe around here is da ancient Chris Kanobe. I wonder if dat’s what she, I mean he means?
-They venture out into the desert to find old Chris, teller of bad jokes. While in the desert, 3 Eminem lookalikes jump Justin from behind. A figure screams in a shrill voice and makes the "Eminem’s" ears bleed-
JUSTIN: Hey thanx for doing dat scream thing.
CHRIS: Hey, I wasn’t screaming, I was singing!
JUSTIN: Uh, sure. Hey, you’re Chris Kanobe! Princess Lancey is looking for
you.
CHRIS: Damn! Now we have to go to the Pub and find a wasted pilot to find her.
-The four of them ride out to the pub right by the space station. They walk in and find a pilot with a smile that makes him look drunk along a hairy beast behind him-
CHRIS: Hey drunk and hairy guys!
J( C ) SOLO: Hey, my name’s JC. And this is Jobacca. And I’d NEVER get
drunk. It would ruin my boyish image.
CHRIS: Uh huh. Okay, we just need a pilot to help us go find Princess Lancey.
JC: Ok, but this one’s gonna cost you.
CHRIS: Sure, whatever. Let’s just get going.
JC: You need to wait a few hours, ok. I need to do some business first.
-JC walks out of the pub and makes his way, with Jobacca, or Joey, to a palace a few blocks away-
JC: Hey, Kevin The Hut. I think I got a way to get back all the money Joey ate.
KTH: I am tired of waiting. I want that money in 2 days.
JC: OK, gotta go!
-JC meets back up with Chris Kanobe and Justin Skywalker, who is quiet all of a sudden-
JC: Hey kid, you OK?
JUSTIN: *pouting* NO! The old guy with bad jokes said I had ta use a certain force ta help Lancey destroy da Empire. And ta do that, I gots ta act like I’m white.
JC: But you ARE white.
JUSTIN: Not at heart.
JC: Ooookay. This is my ship, the MMC Falcon. All aboard!
-They board the ship and make their way to the Back Star, where Lance is being held-
LANCE: *being held by guards* You’ll never find the plans to the Back Star,
you jack ass.
GENERAL LITTRELL: Let’s see just how flexible you are about that. We plan to blow up your home planet !
LANCE: *screaming in terror* Noooooooooo!!!!!! Not the planet of makeup, dalmatians, and Beanie Babies!!!
NICK VADER: Yes! Now, tell us where the plans are or we’ll blast Hanson
music throughout your pitiful planet before we blow it up!
LANCE: Oh, okay. *murmuring* fuck, fuck, fuck! *in regular voice* The plans are in 2 droids I sent to the planet, Wannabe.
NICK VADER: Good choice. Cue the music!
LANCE: WHAT?! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
NICK VADER: Hahaha! Take him to the cellblock.
-Elsewhere, on the MMC Falcon-
CHRIS: *puts his hands to his head and sits down*
JUSTIN: Yo! I think da old dude’s havin’ a hernia!
CHRIS: No, I feel that millions of people are in agony. I also feel that Hanson is somehow involved.
JUSTIN: Hey man, that’s terrible! We gots to go help them peeps.
CHRIS: *back to his old self* Na. Let’s keep going. Knock knock!
JC: Shut the fuck up!
-The MMC Falcon reaches the Back Star and the passengers steal guard suits of werewolves, mummies, vampires, and Phantom Of The Operas-
JUSTIN: *in mummy outfit* Yo man. Dees outfits suck!
JC: *in vampire outfit* Shut up! We need to find the princess so she can give me every jazz CD ever made!
JOEY: *in normal form, looking exactly like the werewolf outfit* Raaaarh!!
CHRIS: *in Phantom outfit* I get the feeling that Joey doesn’t like jazz.
JC: That, and he’s hungry.
JUSTIN: What? We ate just before we left dat ghetto plane.
JC: It’s not a plane, it’s a spacecraft.
JUSTIN: . . . .
-They make their way to a control room and blow up a few generals named Howie and AJ. Finding where the princess is, Justin makes his way over to the cellblock-
JUSTIN: *opens door*
LANCE: *listening to a Shania Twain CD* The best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun...Man, I feel like a woman!
JUSTIN: Yo man, dats sick!
LANCE: *turns his head* Who the hell are you, the neighborhood queer?
JUSTN: *looking pissed* No. I’m Justin Skywalker and I’m here ta rescue yo sorry ass!
LANCE: Great, Princess Leia gets a Jedi knight and I get the village wannabe.
JUSTIN: Just get yo albino ass over here, k?
-They make their way back to the ship with JC and Joey-
JUSTIN: Yo peeps, where’s the old dude?
-They look over to see Chris battling Nick Vader. Vader swings his light saber at Chris and he falls to the ground-
JUSTIN: Nooooooooooo!
JC: Hey, man we have to get out of here!
-They board the ship and take off-
JUSTIN: *sobbing* He w-wus ma b-best fr-friend.
JC: Uh, exqueese me? HE WAS ABOUT 500 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU!!!!!
JUSTIN: That don’t matter. *sniff sniff*
LANCE: Don’t cry. I have an idea that will make you happy again!
JUSTIN: What?
LANCE: Piggy-back rides on Joey! *squeals like a little girl*
JUSTIN: Yo man, yo mind’s messed up ‘n buggin.
-Justin all of a sudden hears a voice in his head-
VOICE: Didn’t I tell you to use the force, dumbass? -Later, they all give the plans to a general who gave them the instructions to destroy the Back Star- JUSTIN: Yo man, dis plane is phat! -He flies to the Back Star and starts doing what Chris said to do- JUSTIN: I really hope that we can, in some way, blow up this hideous monstrosity. -All of the Back Star is dumbfounded, while Nick Vader leaves the ship, at Justin’s new vocabulary- GUARD: Was that actually Justin Skywalker talking? -The guard got no answer for at that moment, the Back Star crashed into a planet. Then, Justin heard the jazz coming from the MMC Falcon. It also assisted in the distruction of the Back Star by torturing the pilots- JUSTIN: Woohooh! We did it, yo! -Back at the base, Justin, Joey, and JC get metals for their bravery from Lance- "Forever Young" starts playing and the credits roll
JUSTIN: Chris?!?
CHRIS: Yeah it’s me. You need to use the force and act your color and age!
JUSTIN: How would I do that?
CHRIS: Just use the force.
JUSTN: CHRIS, CHRIS, CHRIS!!!!!!!!!!
JC & LANCE: *looking at him strangely*
JUSTIN: What?
LANCE: *at base* Just keep flying. Oh, and just so you know, that hunk, JC Solo, left.
JUSTIN: Oh, Ok!