This goes back, way back, back into time. Ok, so it was early this year when Edcel (Sailor Pork) wanted to make a humor site. We already had a site called, "Edcel and Michelle's *N Sync Page" (catchy name, eh?), but I (Sailor Porky) was mostly the one who was working on it.
At first, it was just us two (she was actually more into it than me 'cuz I was working on our crappy site [so I was a teeny, leave me alone!]). We had to come up with a title for our site. I wanted it to be catchy and unique from all other humor sites. So, it had to have the words, 'Sailor Meats' and '*N Sync' We were confused as to what the last word was gonna be, "The Sailor Meats *N Sync ????" I wanted it to rhyme. Pork didn't really give a crap, but i strived for a word that'd make sense and rhyme with "Meats", so 'heap' was the closest to rhyming sense for the last word. Hey, it filled up those four question marks above, didn't it? I didn't know what 'heap' meant at the time, so I looked it up, and thank gawd it worked. Pork was unsure of it, but it time, she accepted it. I wanted to contribute to this challenge, so I made our banner (the main one) and I made up corny statemnents and made each meat go to each *N Syncer (I pleaded Pork that we could have 5 people so it'd be easier to update). At first, the 5 meats were: Pork, Porky, Turkey, Chicken, and Ham, but then I figured that Beef's meatier than Ham, so...yeah. We didn't really have 5 people to be meats, just us two, but later I asked my buds to be meats. So our corny statements were: "Get Beefy, Porktified, Turkey'D out, Chickenized, and Porkyer with *N Sync" as you see in our banner. I thought that up in like one hour. Spiffy, eh? Well, in April, we (Edcel, I, Michee, Eileen, and Jayne) were in a talent show for our Middle School. Yoth! Our main dance was to "TUMH" and i'd say it was a success. We were called, "Fu-Man Skeeto" (Chris inspired me), so i asked the 3 other members to be meats, so they were like, "Ok." (See a pic of us, here with our hardcore Backstage passes. (top, L to R) Pork, former Chicken, and former Turkey. (bottom, L to R) Former Beef, Porky. ok. So, it was me (porky), Edcel (pork), Michee (chicken), Jayne (turkey), and Eileen (beef). Chicken already had her website shown here. In a way, for the banner, the guy we represented was like us. Turkey=Joey==Jayne=Horny, flirty. Chicken=Justin=Michee=funny. Porky=JC=Me=Musically talented, "thug-appeal". Pork=Chris=Edcel=hilarious. Beef=Lancth=Eileen=good natured. So, there. I asked them to write stuff 'cuz we all liked *N Sync. Eventually, I figured out Eileen hardly liked *N Sync, plus, she didn't have anything to write, so I figured she didn't want to do it. Jayne and Michee sent in stuff which was healthy for our new site. Pork and I were so into it, and we had a lot of free time, so it was easy to update and we were updating like everyday. We needed someone to fill in for Beef, so I asked my best bud, Cathy, to do the job. She didn't really like *N Sync as much as she does now, but she was hired. After school started this year, we didn't have much time to update, so eventually, Chicken quitteted. We have a new one, Kayla. We fired Turkey, and the new one is Meru. -> After a while we started to get a buttload of hatemail...our first major battle was with janet and her whole crew.., but before that one of her friends was a girl named Kay that liked our site and recommend that janet saw it (they used to be friends). Unfortunately Janet did not like what she saw and started to bitch and moan about it. (SOMEONE GET HER MIDOL or some BIRTH CONTROL PILLS) Then Kay and Janet weren't friends anymore (I didn't want to get too 'N Depth about the whole situation, but they had a fight) and Kay wanted to be Sailor Ham, so she did, and she is now. At first, she was in the Meaty Fan-Mail fiction, but now she is in the main page. Let me tell you why: Due to some unfortunate events, Chicken had to leave the heap..you know how life can get...but she claims to come back and do a few things. So, Ham got promoted. Jay is one of Ham's best friends, and he's also a "Meat in a Basket", and writes a few stories himself. That's about in for now, though. <- Well, we know there are other kinds of meats "Salome, liver, etc.", but the heap can only hold 10 people (*N Sync, and the official meats). You can be an unofficial meat by writing fan fiction, and sending it to us. Yes. Oh, and a long time ago, in a not-so-far-away apartment, Pork made some slogans: Sailor Meats don't act like dorks without I, Sailor Pork! Because I'm so dorky, it is I, Sailor Porky Don't go down to the coral reefs, meet I, Sailor Beef! Don't eat Beef Jerky, eat I, Sailor Turkey! Don't Eat Spam, eat I, Sailor Ham. Click on 'em to see our bios.
