Law & Order: Sailor Meats style

Day 1

Okay, here's the deal: this crazed Justin loving teeny has decided to sue us for emotional damage.The suit is for $1,500 and the closing of the Meats website. So now Jeremy, my assistant almost DA, and I, the almost DA, have to prove she's a liar. OH, GOD! The trial is coming up, I have no experiance, no Law Degree, nothing. I AM FREAKING OUT HERE!!! And this chick has a big deal lawyer, Mrs. Iva Gotermoney. Plus, I have to admit, she might have a good case. Damnit! Now I gotta stay up and study law. Well if your really bored, while I look over some legal stuff, you can check out the letter she sent me. Beware though, I wrote in a few comments in parenthesis

Dear Mrs. Ham,

Ahahahaha, Like guess what? Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah (real mature, huh?) I'm suing you all for something called emotional damage, whatever that is (Ditzy bitch). Plus, Daddy (Daddy? ahahahaha)got me my own, like whats that word, oh yeah, lawer (thats LawYer). Awww, you gonna like cry?(No just trying to see if we can counter sue you)Well, you haven't heard the best part, if I win you like site will like be closed down and I'll get like 1,500 dollers (thats DollArs)I have to like go, bitch, my lawer (dumbass)has told me not to talk to you,

Tina R. Timberlake (Can you say delusional?)

Wow your back, your probably real bored, hanging around my office. But if your really bored, Jeremy, my almost assistant DA,is talking to some reporters.

Jeremy at press conference:

Jeremy: Hello, ladies and gentlemen of the press. I am here to answer any questions about the law suit concering the Sailor Meats, and Mrs. Tina. My associate , the almost DA, Sailor Ham, could not be here tonight, due to some legal documents. I see we have a question. Yes, the woman in the green suit.

Reporter #1: Yesh, I heard thish trial wash moved to a later date. Ish thish true?

Jeremy: Yes, this because Sailor Turkey has gone through a terrible ordeal, being kidnapped by Louis Pearlman. Also, Sailor Ham and I are going to an N SYNC concert.

Reporter#2: Mr. Jeremy, is it true that N SYNC might show up at the trial?

Jeremy: I do not know, I can not speak for the boys.

Reporter#3: Mr. Jeremy, where are the meats now?

Jeremy: I am sorry, no more questions for now. Thank you for your time, all of you.

Reporters:(start screaming) Mr. Jeremy, if I could have a moment of your time-But Mr. Jeremy-Mr. Jeremy, when was the original trial going to take place?-Mr. Jeremy, please-

Screen goes blank...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Uhh...Law and Order? Huh...wha...