Congratulations! You've stumbled across Pete'sHomepage: a collection of useless, bizarre, but sometimes entertaining "Stuff"! Don Pardo, tell 'em what they've WON!

That's right,Wink, all contestants finding their way to Pete's Homepage will receive a lifetime's supply of USELESS CRAP! It doesn't slice, it won't dice, and it only WISHES it could julienne fries!

BUT WAIT, there's more...          Say it isn't SO, Don!          It's so, Wink.

In addition to a load of useless crap, you'll also receive, at no additional cost these lovely parting gifts:

A Semi-Complete List of Stupid Inventions.

Fun Ways to Piss Off Your Roomate.

2001 Standerdized Guide to the Bases

How to Win an Arguement

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE

Thanks to all my friends: Kara...Scotty...Jenn...PJ...Jon-Paul...Craig...Jon...and BIIIIIIIIIIILL!