The Bullet and the Damage Done

Paul was a great help; he opened doors for her, drove her places, and cooked dinner. They brought a ready wardrobe over to his house so that she wouldn't have to keep wearing her dressy things. Their time was spent singing in the music room, slow dancing downstairs, laughing over dinner, and taking outings in the country. They sat out at night on Paul's patio and looked at the stars. They were practically inseperable.

John left to make a movie in Almeria, Spain soon after his return to England. He and Beth wrote back and forth like crazy (for fortunately, her writing arm was just fine). John told her of happenings on the set, and Beth talked of her recovery and everyday goings-on. Here's a letter from Beth to John after her two weeks check-up.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Paul said. "Well, actually, there is," Beth said. "I haven't told you what the doctor's been saying. You see, well, the muscles in my arm are healing up too tightly. Ummm, they're a bit afraid since I can't lift it above shoulder level that I may never play guitar again." "Beth!" Paul said. "You should tell me about things like this. Maybe I can help you." "All there is for me to do is to do these little exercises on my arm, and if I do them too much, they'll hurt me," she said. "But hey, if this doesn't work out, I always have psychology to fall back on." "Oh come now, I'm sure it'll work out," Paul said. "Don't give up yet. Besides, you can't just lose your guitar skills."

"I'm not sure about that," Beth said. "I can get pretty rusty if I don't practice. But I'll try not to worry about that. I don't have time to, anyway. I have to get a haircut today. Know of any good places?" "I usually get a trim every...year or so," Paul laughed. "I think Pattie Harrison uses a place nearby, called 'The Body As Art.' It's supposed to be on the cutting edge." "Hardy har har," she said. "Well, care to go over there now, while we're in town? I need a good cut."

* * * * *

The normally booked salon was able to make an exception for Beth that day. They gave her the red carpet treatment. The place was more like a day spa than a hair salon; it did hair, nails, make up, and had a massage parlor. Beth hadn't had a good splurge for a while, so she let Paul leave her there for a couple hours so she could get the whole deal.

They started in the back room, where she was tenderized (specifically avoiding her bum arm) and softened until her skin was like a baby's. Next came a trip to the sauna to relax her. After twenty minutes in there, Beth was taken into the nail room to have a manicure and a pedicure.

Flawless nails and flawless skin had to be complemented by a nice haircut and make up befitting her face. First came the cut. Beth had a brave streak, and decided to get a healthy cut. The stylist cut her hair at mid neck level, a stark contrast to her once waist length hair. She was surprised at how much a shorter cut opened up her face and lit up her good features. The good features came out even more with the makeover they gave her. (She had been wearing the same make up colors since she was in high school.)

Beth quickly changed out of the bathrobe and into her clothes, just in time for Paul to pick her up. When she was paying the bill at the main counter, he didn't recognize her. He was still confused when she walked up to him and began to hold conversation. When Paul realized that this creature was Beth, he gasped. "Beth?" he gulped. "Your hair...where'd it go?" "In the trash can," Beth grinned. "Oh, I rather liked your hair long," Paul said quietly. "There's still plenty up there," she said. "But if you don't like it, then I suppose that's fine. Nobody has the same tastes."

They walked out to the car. "So, how was your afternoon?" Beth asked as they got in the car. "Oh, it was alright," Paul said, shrugging. "Nothing much happening." "Oh," Beth said. "I had a rather nice time. Girl's day out, you know. I don't think you would've had much more fun in the salon." "I don't mind that," Paul said with a tone that said he did. "Paul, really, it's not a guy's idea of a good time," she said. "What bug crawled up your ass?" "That was hardly called for," Paul said, folding his arms over his chest. "I just want to know what's wrong," Beth said, touching his hair. He pushed her away.

"Take me back to my apartment," Beth said. "You're in one of those moods." "Am not," Paul pouted. "Yes you are," she said. "C'mon, I want to go to my apartment. You need some time to yourself." "Oh, alright," Paul said. He jammed the key into the ignition, and slammed on the accelerator, backing out with a screech. He drove her home like a madman.

* * * * *

The ten days 'til John's return went by quickly. Beth began to notice a bit of a change in Paul's manner: he seemed to be a bit testy, a little on edge. He'd get mad at her for doing the laundry wrong, or going out without telling him first. She chalked it up to stress for the most part, but began to wonder if this romance was really as perfect as it had first seemed...

John alerted them of his return date a few days before he finished up. It was indeed 1 October, at 11:00 AM. Everything seemed to be normal again between Beth and Paul, so they picked him up from the airport, and treated him to lunch at Paul's. (It was a dinner Beth had cooked, not without a little difficulty, with both arms.)

"Glad to be here?" Paul asked. "Very," John said. "Say, Beth, is this the family recipe?" "You do know spaghetti," Beth laughed. "Sure is. So, did you miss us?" "Of course I missed you!" John said. "How could I not?" "Just making sure," Beth said. "You're a big movie star now, and we're just humble folk." "I have two films to my credit, thank you much," Paul said. "Ach! Now you've left me with nothing!" Beth said. "Why don't I get to be in a feature length film?"

"You can be my leading lady in the next one," John said. "Yeah, and you can be a knight in shining pancakes," Beth laughed. "Hey! She's my girl! She should be my leading lady!" Paul said. "Aww, I asked first," John said. "So what? I saw her first!" Paul argued. "Yeah, and she'll be the last thing you see," John said.

"Boys! Don't get your boxers in a bunch!" Beth said. "I'll have my own movie. You two can be supporting actors." "I get to be actor No. 1!" John said. "No, I do!" Paul said. They kept at it, and Beth slapped her forehead. "Argh," she sighed, eating her spaghetti. "Eat before yer food spoils!"

"We'll have to resume this later," Paul said. "I'm gonna go to the loo. Be back in a minute." He darted out of the room.

"Hey, luv, how are you?" John asked. "Oh, I'm alright," Beth said. "You look lovely," John said. "That hair was a brave move. It turned out rather nicely, in my humble opinion. And your face looks so bright! Have you changed your make up?" "You noticed?" she said. "Paul didn't like my hair. He didn't notice that I changed my make up, y'know. I think he's mad because I stop him when he tries to make a move some nights, especially as of late. God dammit, I just really haven't felt well." "Have you been fighting?" John asked in a low tone. "I suppose you could call it that," Beth said. "We don't usually stay mad for too long."

"As long as you're happy," John said. "So, how's the arm?" "It's fine," Beth said, avoiding John's eyes. "Beth," John said softly, "it's not getting better, is it?" "Not really," she said. "I told Paul what could happen. I don't think he realizes how serious it is. I'm resigned to not playing again...that's what will probably happen." "Oh, honey," he said. "You can't just give up hope. Can I touch your arm? See how it feels?" "Sure, just be careful," she said.

John held Beth's arm tenderly and turned it a little bit. He kept turning and her arm made a sickening *pop*. "Owww!" Beth said. "That hurt, a lot!" She stretched to get rid of the soreness. "I'm sorry," John said. "Is there anything I can do?" "No, it's just sore, but that was a weird noise," Beth said. She turned her arm around expecting another pop, but it never came.

"Heeeey," she said. "Look at that. Heilige Scheiße! It can move! My arm's loosened up. Fuck, John, it's healed! Why the hell didn't I try that before? Shit, you've saved my arm!" "Really?" he asked, excited. "Really!" Beth grinned. "This calls for a celebration!" John laughed. He took her by the hands and they spun around the room in circles. Beth went tumbling across the floor with him, falling to the carpet in a heap. They laughed like tinkling bells, and John smiled. "We're in a compromising position," he smirked. She blushed. "Stop it," she said. "You know you're too much for me when you give me that look." He grinned, helped her up and dusted them both off. He took both her hands in his again.

"Beth, you know, I've been wanting to talk to you," he said. "By yourself. You see..." The bathroom door down the hall creaked. "I'll tell you later. C'mon, let's jitterbug!" She laughed, and they danced to a song in their heads. Paul walked in and saw them dancing, confused. "What's going on?" he asked. "We're jitterbugging; what's it look like?" John laughed. "Spasmodic persons dancing," Paul said. "Here, let's give you some music."

Paul went to the piano and tapped out a big band-style tune. Lost in a world of his own, he merrily played while Beth questioned John. "What was that all about?" she asked. "All what?" he said. "That 'I have to tell you something alone' thing. What was it?" she asked. "It's important, and I need to discuss it with you privately," John said. "As you wish," Beth said. "Just don't forget. You're leaving me in suspense!"

* * * * *

John came over around eleven the next day, just as Paul was leaving. "Hiya, Paulie!" John said. "I thought I'd stop by to spend some time with you two. But if you're leaving..." "Oh, it's alright, you can stay," Paul said. "I'm going to get some food. Beth is in the living room. Would you like anything?" "Sure, just whatever you two are having," John said. "Aren't you going to say goodbye to her?" "You can do it for me," Paul said indifferently. "Bye."

"Bye," John said as Paul closed the door with John inside. Huh, that's odd. Wonder what's up? He went through the hallway to go see Beth. "Hey, Sparkle!" he called. Beth, seated on the couch, turned towards his voice. "Oh, hi, hi John," Beth mumbled. He came to sit beside her. "What's wrong, luv?" he said. "You look sick."

"I feel sick," she said. "Must've caught stomach flu or something." "Oh, well I hope that doesn't last long," he said. "Ah, is Paul in a bad mood? He acted rather strangely when he let me in." "Yeah, he is," Beth said. "We got into it again. You see, he tried to kiss me, and I felt sick, so I turned away. That set him off but good, and he's been moody all morning."

"I'm sorry, luv," John said. "That's just not like him at all. I don't know what his problem is." "It's my fault," Beth said. "I made him mad. Don't blame him. He hasn't been getting any, well, you-know-what lately, either...my fault, too. I just have not felt up to it, though. So, he's mad at me, end of story." "Oh, come now, luv, you can't help being sick. If he really cares, he can go without for a while," John said. "It's not your fault."

"Oh, I don't know what to make of it," she said. "He's moody, then happy, charming, but still pouty, awww...it's a strange thing. Makes me think of my dad." "Ow, it's that bad," John said. "Oh, it's not reallybad, I suppose. Perhaps it's all in my head like he tells me," Beth said. "But he loves me. He's all I have, anyway. I mean, he's taken care of me, and nobody else would want to put up with me for that long, 'cept maybe my mother." "Beth," John said, "I would have taken care of you if you said the word." "But you had that movie thing; don't be silly," she said. "You wouldn't want to be around me that much. Do you know how annoying I must be to a man? It's no wonder Paul's moods are screwed up." "I'd have thrown down the movie in a second if you jad asked," he said. "I love being around you; you know that." "You're the sweetest," Beth said. "And don't you forget it," John smiled.

"So, what was it that you needed to tell me yesterday?" Beth asked. "Oh, you...I don't think you'll like what you hear," John said. "Oh, come on," she said. "You can tell me anything, bad or good." "Alright, I suppose you'll hear it one way or another," he said, sighing, and taking her hands. "You know how wonderful I think you are, don't you?"

"Yeah, you tell me all the time."

"An' how we're soulmates, destined to meet?"

"Yes. We're practically the same person," Beth laughed. "Why?"

"Would it surprise you if I told you I love you?" John said quietly. "No, because I love you, too," Beth said. "You're my best friend." "Beth, luv, this is different," he said. "More than just my best friend is what you are to me. I'm totally taken by you. Just absolutely consumed. Remember when I asked you to marry me on the airplane? I didn't have the heart to tell you I wasn't kidding..."

"John, what are you doing?" Beth said. "How could you fall in love with me? I'm not the kind of person a guy would like to love. I'm lucky I grabbed Paul, if it's for just a while." "But honey, you are the one I've fallen in love with," John said. "I don't care what other men think of you. In my humble opiniion, I believe any of them would be proud to have you at his side. I want to be the man that calms your fears, makes you better when you're sick, kisses you goodnight, running my fingers through your hair..." He brought his hand to her face and softly stroked her jaw.

"John, I can't," she said. "If things were different, maybe. But you've got a wife and a kid, and I really don't see Paul wanting to break up now." She brought his hands down and held them tight. "You've got to understand, I'm in quite a position here. Somehow I can feel what you're going through, really I do. Sometimes I wish...I wish things were different. But would there ever be a future for us? You've got to think." "Maybe you're just thinking too hard," John said quietly. "But, forget it. I knew it'd turn out this way; just pretend I never said anything." "I won't forget," Beth said. "Just let me ponder over it a while."

John smiled. "Here, let's do something," he said. "I feel like a song. Care to be my piano muse?" "Sure," Beth said. They went to the baby grand and Beth jumped up on the top, while John took the stool. "What do you want to hear?" he asked. "Hmm, Rachmaninoff's 3rd Concerto," Beth said. "Ah, that one was just on the tips of my fingers, but I've forgotten it now," John laughed. "Okay, how about Moonlight Sonata? Or Für Elise?" Beth asked. "I never was good with that classical stuff," John said. "Why don't you teach me?"

Beth jumped down from the piano and sat beside John on the stool. "Alright, let's start easy...Moonlight Sonata. Here's the left hand," she said. "The note pattern is A flat, D flat, E in triplet rhythm. Da da da, da da da..." She demonstrated the fingering. "Now, you try." John sturggled to find the notes, and played the rhythm. "Now, there's a change of notes," she said, guiding his hand.

His hand went down with a loud clatter on the piano. He stopped playing and took her hand, holding it and softly kneading it. "Beth, please, I love you. Could you ever find a way to...I...oh God, I'm sorry," he said, letting her hand fall. "I don't know what came over me." "It's alright," Beth said, patting his shoulder. "Maybe we should watch the television."

John led Beth to the couch, then went to stand by the TV to flip channels. On the first was the news, the second some soap opera, and all the rest had nothing of real interest. He turned it off, and sat down with her on the couch. All that was left to do was talk.

"So, is your arm faring well?" John asked. "Yes, thanks to you," Beth said. "Still sore, but getting much better." "Picked up a guitar lately?" John asked. "I tried last night, but he put the moves on me, so I dropped him," Beth laughed. "Those Silvertones are horny ol' bastards, y'know?" "You are too strange," John chuckled. "Look who's talking!" Beth said. "At least I try to pass off as normal." "Oh yes, Miss Peacock Feathers," John smirked. "It was one concert!" she protested. "It looked good on me." "That it did," he said."Did it ever..."

The front door opened, and Paul walked in with his hands full. "Hey, a little help?" he asked. John jumped up and took some of his load, and they all went into the kitchen to eat.

Silence. " 'Ey John, you sick?" Paul asked. "It's not like you to be this quiet." "Naw, it's become a habit," John said. "You see, I didn't have many lines in the movie, so..." Beth snickered. "What?" John asked. "That, or all the Spanish-speaking people," she smirked. "Well, there was that..." he blushed.

"I suppose it's good to see you haven't lost your touch," Paul said. "I was beginning to think you'd come back a different person." "I am, in a matter of speaking," John said. "I think I feel differently about life now... I'm getting old, you know." "If 26 is old, I must be on my way," Paul laughed. "Not 26 yet!" John defended. "Next Monday." "Big difference," Beth said. "Oh, oh no! A big huge WEEK away! Hurry! Freeze yourself to stop the aging process! Better yet, all of us!"

"Yes, come, let's go!" John said. "I can feel grey hairs sprouting, and my libido's gone down considerably!" "Ah, only up to 99% today?" Beth smirked. "Hee hee hee hee hee!" John laughed in his "dirty old man" voice. "You'd better watch yourself, luvie," he said. "I'm the horniest bastard you've ever laid...errr, eyes upon!" "And I thought it was only my imagination," Beth said. "I must've overestimated you." "Indeed," John said, wringing his hands, "that you did."

~*Go on to Chapter 16!!!*~

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