Chapter 2- Post High School / Change of Faith

Then I graduated, and moved to Mission Viejo, and life in my new environment was all about adapting and getting into college so I could get my education, and maybe meet some girls. I came back down to Fountain Valley to see my friends and for my birthday. My friends threw me a bonfire, and a pretty good 99-cent store cake. But I invited my friend Kelli who I met through my friend Nathan, I thought she was very cute, and sweet, so I liked. My friend Dave didn’t know I liked her, so he went with her to get food, and I soon found that Dave and Kelli had made out…When I heard the news, I was at home and I had a nervous breakdown, and freaked out. Yet all my anger disappeared because Dave was like my brother and I shouldn’t be mad at him over a girl. I later told Kelli how I felt, and she didn’t get scared of me, but I knew she didn’t like me that way so I felt like I wouldn’t push my luck, and kept any feelings to myself.

When I went back to Mission Viejo, two people I wanted to never see again resurfaced. Jenna and I had been talking on the phone the previous week nights and I was under the impression that she wanted me back, so I fell for it.but she came to my house and I realized the chemistry was gone… Then Jax called me up, I was in shock that she found me, but it was my mother who gave her my number. She wanted to hang out, and I decided to give her another chance. She picked me up and we went to see a movie…As we were parking the car I suddenly knew I didn’t want to hang out with her. As luck would have it, Nathan was at the Theater, so I basically ditched her, but I wasn’t trying to ditch her, I just went to the movie Nathan was going to see, so she wouldn’t try a move on me. But she left and thus solved my problem, but I felt bad.

College started, I was so lost for the first three weeks, but I soon made friends, mostly the female variety. Through out the summer, I was working. I got a job with my step mom, and was also working with my cousin. Him and I had discussed many things while on break, such as life, love and hobbies. He wanted to go to a theme park, so I convinced him to have us bring dates. I was going to have him ask a friend of Kristys, named Cheryl, but he didn’t have her phone number. So I had to call Kristy to get Cheryl’s number…but after I got the number, Kristy and I got to talking, and she let it slipped that she liked me, and perhaps still does. So now I didn’t know what to do. As far as my date for the Theme park, I was going to bring Kelli from my birthday party. She agreed so I was still trying to convince Adam to call Cheryl, but that wasn’t going to happen… So I talked to Krysten, and planned to go to another theme park, and I organized that Krysten, Adam, Krysten’s friend Candice and I were to go… But I was asked to go to the Homecoming Dance of a high school, so I accepted, and canceled the trip with Krysten. Two days before the Dance, my date canceled. When college started, I started going to a club with Dave and Nathan at least once a week, always attempting to meet women, which we did, but few we ever really got to talk to, well Dave meet some girls, I was still shy. But I did meet a sweet girl, but she had a boyfriend, so I was in dispair. Yet as we danced, she apparently hadn’t dance the way I danced and she had but and her body language showed she liked me, or the dancing, either way we hit it off all right. For the rest of the night, her boyfriend wasn’t an issue, so I assumed she wasn’t happy with him. A week later she came over, and I took her to dinner and we sat under the clouds, but somewhere out there, there were stars. But she went back to her boyfriend and I was once again very saddened, she had made a great impact on me for such a brief time together.

So Now I look back on my life and wish I could go back and make different decisions and better choices. But in this world of phone tag, love notes, arguments and heartbreak; there has to he a happy medium, some middle of the road where we can all be happy. But that’s not likely, life’s crazy, it keeps us all awake and aware. All I can do it go back to life how it is and accept my choice and make the best of the bad. So all I can determine from my life adventures is that I'm either picking the wrong paths...or the wrong people, but at some point I was happy, and after a while I desperatly searched for that one thing in my life that so commonly went wrong, and it took me through some doors I dare not recall out of shame for myself, but I will. I cannot say that feeling that becomeing Mormon was the best way for me to find love, it did, but in a strangly indirect way...

Ever Since I knew Nathan, his religion effected me. In the begining it was an anger over something that I did not understand, and felt was wrong, but later became a friendly understanding of what it mean't to him. As the weeks after the aftermath of Candice, the pain and pity wore off. For some reason, the stupidity I felt about myself, about how I acted with Candice, about how I have acted with all other girls, drove me to seek God. I saw Mormonism as a way to get close to God, Nathan was happy that I found my way, and that I was going to get baptised.Before I could do that, I had to take six lessons from Missionaries and then I could get Baptised, and so I took a lesson a week and was Baptised on Jan 28th, 2001. But while this was happening, me and Jenna started talking again, and on an occasion her and I and Mike and Nate and Billy, hung out. I had no attraction to Jenna any more and I did all this so Nate and Billy and Mike could meet Brooke, Jenna's mormon friend. She was cute and I knew my three mormon friends (mike, nate and billy) would jump at the chance to meet Brooke. Well after the first meeting of all of us, Jenna kissed me. I hated that moment so much, I shutter to think about it, to this very day. Apparently, it was still a good sign, Jenna acually thought that I wanted to get back with her, when my intentions were with Billy and Mike, mostly, Not so much Nate who had a girlfriend. Eventually, Jenna would hate me because I didn't invite her to a Mormon dnace, and I also un-invited her to my Baptism, which wasn't a problem for me, I enjoyed both experences, without her. She hated me and I didn't care. Acually, me and Nate and Billy hung with Brooke on several occasions and didn't tell Jenna, cause she'd make life tourture, but eventually, she did, and then Brooke wouldn't hang out with me, but ofcourse hung out with Billy and Nate.

After my Baptism, I started going to my local church, and I made so many people who acted like my friends. And

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