How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't
disguise your voice.
3) Insist that your e mail address is:
4) Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries
5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it
"IN BOX ."
6) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to
espresso. (my fav!)
8) In the memo field of all your cheques, write
"FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
9) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance
with the prophecy."
10) Dont use any punctuation
11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh
hysterically after they answer.
13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to
14) Sing along at the opera.
15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems
16) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
17) Five days in advance, tell your friends you
can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.
18) Have your coworkers address you by your
wrestling name, Rock Hard.
19) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream
"I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
20) When leaving the zoo, start running towards
the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"
21) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the
economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."
Just a Thought...
If the theory of evolution is true,
then why do mother still only have