Hesse Parody Page
Somewhere between a theatre,a coffee machine,and a forklift lies a place where only madmen dare to enter.Welcome to anarchy,my friends.
Utena says...What the hell?
Wakaba says...Is this a Hesse page done in the style of BSHB?
Anthy says...I'm upside down!I'm upside down!Whheeee!
Heather says...the following:
Hermann Hesse is practically my God. This parody page was created to honor him,to make fun of my own stupidity, and to see what happens when you let someone worse than Akio (i.e. our favorite mozart impersonator,and spanish saxophone player Pablo) roam freely around a website.I got the idea to make a parody page for Hesse after viewing Blood Soaked and Honor Bound: SKU. The idea for an ultimate Utena parody page goes to them,I shall never contest that.I bow before Ka-chan and Becka in reverence.You guys rock.
And now,about this parody page...
Basically,this is a page about 4 of my favorite Hesse books: Steppenwolf, Narcissus and Goldmund, Siddhartha, and of course my one and only Demian.Only instead of being a serious philosophical site,this is a fall-out-of-your-chair in mad laughter site.It's full of hilarious stories starring the characters of my 4 fave books alive or dead,existant or non-existant.
Utena says...So I'm Emil Sinclair right?Whoo hoo!
Wakaba says.... *glomp*
Anthy says...I'm 3 people.How can I be three people.I'm my own mom.
Heather says...We still have a few things to work out...
Miki says...My virgin ears!
I hope you all enjoy the brief introduction on this page,and the funny parodies begin here.
The Enip Weiv school campus was the setting for our story.The campus,unlike Ohtori,had a weather system more random than a temperamental young woman's changing mind.Speaking of temperamental young women...
Heather was roaming around campus,humming merrily,sipping decaf, and ignoring the world around her.Suddenly,for no apparent reason at all she said, "Cocktail Party!" And magically all that surrounded her turned into a masquerade ball.A very gold and navy ball,considering Enip Weiv's school colors were that of Lawndale's(Daria's school).Heather's nun-like outfit had magically turned into a long black and white...piano dress?In fact,everyone was dressed as an instrument.She could recognize hardly one of them because of their costumes. But when she stepped closer,she was shocked and amazed to find herself inside a mixed up Hesse story!Pistorius wore a boy's piano suit,Knauer (who will from now forth be called Jakob because I won't mess up the spelling) was dressed in a violin outfit,Beatrice and Maria wore matching flute dresses,Frau Eva was helping Kamala with the food(their dresses had music notes all over them),Narcissus and Goldmund wore music note print monk/priest outfits,Harry was wearing a trumpet-print suit,and Hermine was wearing a harp dress,and was pulling on Harry's arm to try and get him to dance.
Govinda and Siddhartha were begging for food,although they had repeatedly been told that they could eat whatever they wanted.Sidd Jr. was doing just that.Someone tapped Heather on the shoulder.
"Your order miss?",said Emil as Demian held up a tasty selection of goodies.
Heather looked very confused. "You work as a waiter?" Emil smiled and nodded
"I mostly do part time work that doesn't interfere with school,but I did have a summer job at a cafe a while back.",he said, sweatdropping in ways that could rival Utena. Heather was shocked.
"So it was you that day in the cafe!",she said thinking back to the familiar Steppenwolf scene.She was just about to say something when Beethoven,Strauss,and Mozart came out wearing big wigs,big sunglasses,and carrying big guitars.
"What the f**k?",Heather was going to say,but instead her jaw meerly dropped as the band began to play while Mozart sang "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco. Everyone face-faulted, except for Hermine and Harry, because Hermine was being too submissive and Anthy-like to notice,and Harry because he was screaming in horror.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE MOZART?!!AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
And he fainted.The song ended and Pablo ceremoniously strutted down the stage with the now unmasked Beethoven and Strauss,who were no more than Ricky Martin and Antonio Banderas.They walked behind the curtain and evryone but she, Emil,Demian,and Pablo,that manipulative jazz man,were left.She took a brownie off the tray and began to eat it,while Pablo laughed. "How did you enjoy the music?"
"You're an asshole."
"How did you enjoy the food,then?"
"You're an asshole.And these brownies taste weird."
"They're special brownies."
Heather's eyes got saucer-sized and she knew she would be high in a matter of seconds.But strangely enough,she felt pretty...well...low.
"So what illegal narcotic did you put in 'em?"
Pablo smiled and held up a box of chocolate ex-lax.Emil and Demian ran off to the bathroom as Heather screamed.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"Heather!Wake up!",shouted Alfons Beck,shaking her and glomping as she came to. Heather looked around and exclaimed, "Bed,clothes,friends,floor!",kissing each of the last mentioned.A very flustered Alfons came to and asked," What happened? You were having a dream so bad you were convulsing!"
Heather proceeded to explain her dream to him as she wrote it down in her records.
The Records of Heather Josephine.
Not for everyone.
She thoughtfully added:
For Madmen Only!
And so began the records of the twisted mind of PSM.She wrote everything down carefully in her obsessive compulsive diary (OCD),and moved it onto her webpage using her handy-dandy forklift.Under extreme mental stress conditions,she was forced to drink lots of special coffee by yours truly.But that didn't explain much at all did it?Oh well *smiling wickedly* may god grant you mercy in the magic theatre!
Heather immediately body slams Pablo for the keyboard.
"Just enjoy the site people!"
Pablo has managed to drive the people who have visited this site to madness.
All anime,books,movies,songs,video games,and tv shows mentioned/ referred to are copyright their respective owners.I do not own them.