The Ladies of Shoebies
With very special thanks to:
And honorable mentions to:
Jeannie
You know you want it.
Name:
Jeannie Lisk
Age:
19
What's On Her Shoebies?
Monkeys and Bananas
Information of Vital Importance:
Jeannie is a college sophomore acting major who owns a vibrating rubber ducky named Javier. She moonlights as a rage-filled superhero, however, so don't piss her off or she will kick your ass thirty different ways before you even realize what a stupid jerk move you just pulled.
She enjoys watching old 'Are You Afraid of the Dark?' reruns, being slightly psychotic, being slightly more feared, and the Banana Phone song.
She has also recently collected an assortment of "ladies' night" goodies, including a few boxes of penis pasta, a penis jello shot mold, penis popsicle molds, penis cupcake pans and penis cookie cutters.
Quotes:
"I believe multiple orgasms are required for saving the world."
"Aren't demons flame-retardant?"
"My ass wants to go northeast."
"Now my hands are all sticky with Superman jizz."
"How am I supposed to get charm if I can't drink beer?"
"Why do the Canadians steal all we love? Why?!"
V
Are you freakin' kidding me?
Name:
V Rising
Age:
22
What's On Her Shoebies?
Snitches and Lightning Bolts
Information of Vital Importance:
V is a kinda college sophomore majoring in something different every week. (She currently has abandoned Jeannie to go to community college) She has a tendency to rant, swears too much, can never find her keys, and sometimes doesn't seem to have any clue what's going on.
V enjoys Josh Groban (preferably all alone in a broom closet. Unless he stumbles onto this site, in which case she's perfectly sane), Harry Potter, sleeping in, and watching cartoons that even she will admit are stupid.
She is also a goddess simply for putting up with all of Jeannie's crap that seems to hit the fan once in a while, and for being the best roommate anyone could ask for!...even though she's now abandoned her :(
Quotes:
"Sometimes I worry that I'll be reintroduced to normal society."
"Aaaaand the proper punctuation to that sentence is: bitch."
"Remember this fuckin' face!"
"Sometimes you wake up and you're still drunk. You just gotta deal."
Megan
Looks so innocent, doesn't she?
Name:
Megan Edwards
Age:
19
Information of Vital Importance:
Megan is a college sophomore education major who we love to death because she let us use her digital camera to take all the lovely pictures you see on this page. And because she rocks too, even if she does smell faintly of subway whore... ;)
Megan has also abandoned the area to school elsewhere, but she is remembered.
Quotes:
"Every guy on campus who has a girlfriend wants to get with me because I have herpegonosyphilaids and I smell like subway whore."
"Hey! Shut up! We're filming porn over here! Damn kids..."
Rob
Name:
Rob, Guru of Computer Wisdom
Age: I don't know, he's like 25, right?
Information of Vital Importance:
Rob receives our eternal gratitude for the following reasons:
- Anything we can't figure out for ourselves, we give to Rob, and it always comes back solved. Sometimes we give him things we could eventually figure out, just to bother him. Keep him on his toes and stuff.
- He writes pretty songs.
- He is currently designing the new Shoebies logo.
- He puts up with all of our crap. Mostly cuz he's several hundred miles away, I suspect, but still.
Quotes: *insert something smart and witty here*
Cindy
aka
Mommy
Name:
Cindy Rising
Age:
Old enough to be V's mother.
Occupation:
V's Mother
What's On Her Shoebies?
Palm trees and pineapples.
Information of Vital Importance:
Cindy receives our eternal gratitude for sending us many, many, many new colors to play with and for telling V it was okay to wear decorated Keds with her prom dress.
Quotes:
"Note to self: never pound anything into your brain."
More Quotes We Don't Recommend Slipping Into Civilized Conversation