We Miss You Both Ryan and Travis

Hello my sweet boys!

It is 3 years now since you have left us and the 4th Christmas without either of you.

We may not have you here with us physically but you are here spiritually.

I sit here and reflect on Christmas's past and Thank God for the years we did get to share with you.

I can still envision the anticipation and excitement you both displayed.

I remember well how hard you both worked at putting up your tree and then Ryan would excitedly request for me to come and see your creation.

You both loved the annual Christmas party we made a tradition out of going to each year and I still have the little crafts you made as you both wanted Nanny to have one as well as Mommy

You were so proud of what you always made.

This was the very last thing you did while here on earth and those memories of that day are forever etched in my heart as I know how very much you both enjoyed it.

I can still see where you both were seated and what you were doing before you all left to go to the store.

If only I had known what was to happen I would have kept you here with me.

But God had bigger plans for the both of you.

Ryan, you were the typical big brother and always wanted to help with Travis and the showing him what to do with his gifts.

Sometimes you both would hit heads--just a big part of being brothers.

For years Travis, I remember well how Santa scared you.

Mommy would have to sit in the picture with you as we refused not to have a picture of our little Travis with Santa Claus.

You both loved spending holidays at Nanny and Pappy's house and loved all the Holiday dinners.

Christmas Eve was very traditional as that is when we did our gift exchange at our house so that you could stay at home on Christmas Day to enjoy all your other gifts.

Then in the afternoon we would come to your house to see what Santa and his elves left for you.

Travis--I remember well how you and your cousin Austin would become so hyper that sometimes nan just wanted to tie you both to a chair.

But this is what I miss.

You were so close to Austin, it was as if you were twins--being 4 months apart in age kind of gave you 2 somewhat of an advantage.

I would buy you both the same kind of toys as if I did not there would be so much fighting.

When you both were together it just seemed as if you were in a world of your own.

But you had a special kind of bond that not many cousins do.

Ryan, as you got older then you wanted to do more as far as preparing for the Holiday Season.

As I get out some of my very special Christmas decorations I can still hear you offering to help display them and how much you liked them especially the animated church that plays "White Christmas".

When I told you that was my favorite carol you replied, "nan, it is mine also".

You were so special in your own little way as you were the firstborn and very much a leader.

The younger ones not only looked up to you but followed everything you did.

You loved this and sometimes would cause them to get in trouble.

We always knew tho, as you could never hide the sheepish grin when asked.

Christmas in our family will never be what it was but we have all these precious memories and cling to them with our very beings.

I know that Christmas Eve your spirits are here with us and sometimes as I am looking around I can actually feel your very presence.

We both love you and miss you!
Nanny & Pappy.

A message from Austin:

One day when Austin was here with me we were talking about the both of you. Travis, Austin told me that 2nd grade was very hard for him because you were not here.

He also was asking questions as to how old you would be, especially Ryan.

He knows that you and him Travis were both the same age.

I know how very much he misses you both and the memories he has retained.

These memories are the very things that help to sustain him.

As far as your youngest cousin Alex, he had no memories of his own but does talk of the both of you

It's amazing how much he has picked up on as we sit and talk of the boys as we call you.

And Ryan, as I watch little Alex it is as if God has left a piece of you here as he reminds me so much of you when you were smaller.



Oh Ryan and Travis my dear little boys
how I miss you so much!!!

There isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of you and all the wonderful things we shared and done together!!!

I was so blessed the day that you both were born, blessed beyond words!!

I am so blessed to hold dear to me now the memories I have of the 9 and 5 years with you!!

I know you are in a wonderful blessed place but it doesn't take the missing and the heart ache away that I have every day!!

I know you are up in the Heavens keeping a place for me and keeping my angel wings warm for the day that you bring them to me!!

This will be the 4th Christmas with you in Heaven and oh how I wish things could be so different!

I know God has given you the best duty there is and that is to be guardian Angels to Austin and Alex.

I see this everyday!!

Mommy and Daddy talk often of both of you and all your little antics that you did!!

We miss you so much!!

We have moved out to where Nanny and Pappy live of which you already know this!

It is so nice to be close to them and Aunt shell and Uncle Ash, yes they moved out here too!!!

It just doesn't seem the same without you!!

I know you are with us for I feel you near each day but its still not the same!!

Are you enjoying Maggie with you I know she was waiting for you so patiently now you are together!!

Mommy is getting ready to do another special thing for Christmas for your resting place.

Mommy also is looking forward this year for the first time since you went to Heaven to decorate for Christmas and enjoy all your little ornaments you made with your little hands and the ones you collected thru the years!!

I have been looking at pictures of you both and the joy you had enjoying life was so great!!

I just can't believe that you are not here to give hugs and kisses too!!!

I really don't like to think that life isn't fair but honey I do think this for I miss you both so very much!!

Its so hard to sit and write letters to you for I speak to you each and everyday but it brings some comfort to look and see that I can still share my feelings with you and share with others how you can stay strong and have the belief that God has his purpose for all!!

I have taught you that we come from God and we belong to God!!

I was so proud to hear that you both understand the teachings of the Bible and the work of God for so many share with me how you both enjoyed and understood the Word.

Austin and Alex too enjoy going to Clubs boys and they too are learning just as you both did too!!

Always know how much Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you both so very much!!!!

You are forever in our hearts!!!

Like I said keep my angel wings warm till you bring them to me!!!

I love you both with all my heart and soul!!!

Miss you both with every breath I take!!!

I love you!!

Love Mommy!!!