Author: Gaia Myles Prologue ~ Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11 ~ Ch 12 ~ Ch 13 ~ Ch 14 ~ Ch 15 ~ Ch 16 ~ Ch 17 ~ Ch 18 ~ Ch 19 ~ Epilogue ~ Entire Story
~ Hamlet
As you most certainly know in three months, almost to the day, it will have been four years since that horrid Halloween night and the beginning of our living hell. Though little Harry may have won that battle for us, Voldemort still won the war. He destroyed enough innocent lives that the magical world may never fully recover. He succeeded in killing off entire wizarding families - the Bones, the Prewitts, the McKinnons - and almost eradicated others - the Potters, the Raegans… But I am afraid that he has now won his final victory over the Raegans. Soon the last living descendant shall no longer be present on Earth.
Oh, I know you, Remus, and I can suppose that as soon as you read this letter you will rush off to find me and save me from myself. You'll do that, won't you? You are the type - you've always tried to put others first. I can assure you, however, that it will be a futile effort. I can be very good at not being found if I don't want to be. You know that.
After all, what is left for me here in England? I have no family; Voldemort saw to that back in school. I have no respect, no credibility; that was lost when I won the notoriety of being His girlfriend. All I have to my name is the heritage left me by my parents. What good is money, anyhow? The past, lives, and happiness can't be bought. Financial stability is nothing if you are emotionally dead.
In a cruelly ironic way, Remus, you were lucky to be only His friend and not His…lover. You were able to retain some anonymity, while I….I would see my face splashed all over wizarding news, reported as saying things I never even thought, under such sickening headlines as "Into the Mind of a Murderer: Secrets Only a Girlfriend Could Know" and "Killer's Girlfriend Tells All!" And how could anyone forget those horrible trials?
I don't believe I told you, but last week a witch stopped me on the street and asked, of all things, whether I wished He were dead. I told her quite honestly that I didn't know. I think I can almost hate Him now. Not for what he did to us, whether living or dead, which was horrid enough, but for what he did to those twelve innocent people. Perhaps you can understand.
Still I am confused. I try not to think too much, period, but I constantly see little reminders of the past, of good times, which always make me wonder how He could throw all that away. I don't think I could ever fully understand how or why.
I have made my decision now to take the fool and the coward's way out. But I haven't forgotten my responsibilities. As Harry's godmother, I have arranged through varied and complex methods to have him watched. Should the Dursleys, as much as I dislike them, ever find themselves lacking because of the boy, they will find anonymous donations for Harry's use only. I have also enclosed this key to the Raegan family Gringott's vault. Feel free to use it - you are the last family of any sort that I have, so it rightfully goes to you.
I can't do this anymore, Remus. I can't live behind this mask, acting as if all's right with the world when it most certainly isn't. I can't live with the pain, the guilt. I'm not strong like you - life has worn me down too far. You always were the stable one throughout everything, not I. Once more, I have failed you. I am very truly sorry.
You are the last Marauder, Remus. Please be strong, for all of us.
Laurel Raegan.
Remus Lupin set the letter down and rubbed his forehead gently, massaging away the last vestiges of his post-full moon headache.
It had been exactly ten years since he had come home to find Laurel's last letter lying on his pillow, delivered via owl post. Ten long, hard, lonely years in which to heal slowly.
For almost nine years he had kept the letter without re-reading it, finding the memory of his supposed last friend's suicide rather painful, as was too much already. After resigning as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor a year ago, Remus found the old letter, wondering what would have been different had Laurel known the truth about Sirius. Had they all known the truth. But "what ifs" mattered little in this world, as he well knew.
In a month Remus would be returning to teach at Hogwarts, which had required smooth talking on Dumbledore's part. Despite Remus' fears and initial misgivings, he had been hired on to the newly-created post of Dueling Instructor. Dumbledore thought that this would be a useful class, especially with what they had learned last year with the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Dumbledore had also mentioned having someone specific in mind for the new DADA Professor, though if she declined Remus would be welcome to both jobs if he so desired.
Remus found himself wondering yet again who this mysterious candidate was.
Chapter One ~ Discovery I see life and it's passin' right before my eyes, "Destination Unknown" Laurel Raegan paused to wipe the sweat off her brow. Even in the shade, the
heat of the desert in July was almost unbearable. Only magically-helped
vegetables such as the ones she was tending, could ever survive in such a
God-forsaken place as this. None but the hardiest people lasted very long in the
harsh desert climate. Which was just how she liked it. Laurel had spent the past decade of her life
exploring the world's most isolated places, finding the overwhelming solitude
preferable to the general inquisitiveness of people, wizard and Muggle alike.
After her botched suicide attempt ten years ago, Laurel had run far and fast,
away from people and their stupid questions, away from reporters and their
misinterpretations of all she said, but most of all away from her memories.
Living in her self-imposed banishment, Laurel had come to grips with her inner
turmoil and had managed to systematically remove all traces of her past from her
conscious memory. However, it all hung at the edge of her sub-consciousness,
threatening to overpower her yet again. At least if Laurel lost it out here in the desert, no one would witness her
breakdown. And as she planned never to return to civilization, no one ever
would. Yes, alone was the best way for her to live. Her old life need never come
haunt her. "That is quite a garden, Miss Raegan, for such an arid climate." For a second, the voice didn't register with Laurel as actually belonging to
a person and not some sun-induced madness. When reality kicked in, she spun
around to see her uninvited guest. A tall man with long white hair and beard,
pale laughing blue eyes, half-moon spectacles, and flowing wizard's robes stood
in front of her. Instead of reacting out of fear or anger, her first impulses, Laurel chuckled
softly and bowed her head. "I should have known that you would be the one to
find me, Professor Dumbledore." The old man smiled warmly. "Oh, come now, Miss Raegan. Surely you can bring
yourself to call me Albus. After all, you are hardly a student anymore." Laurel tried to hide her fear at this sudden intrusion of her past behind
friendly words and a weak smile. "Fair enough. But only if you call me Laurel
and tell me how you discovered my deception over a glass of iced tea." "That I will be happy to do, Laurel. I do think we have much to discuss,"
said Dumbledore, following her into her small house. Laurel led him into her meager kitchen and offered him a seat at the table.
After filling two glasses with ice and drink, she took her place across from
Dumbledore. "So Prof-Albus, would you like to fill me in on how you managed to
track me?" Dumbledore took a sip of his drink before answering. It was obvious that he
was unfamiliar with the concept of iced sweet tea, but he managed to partially
conceal his surprise with practiced ease. "It was not that hard once I realized
you were alive. As you know, your family's unique gift often leaves miniscule
traces on the recipients. I recognized signs of your recent presence so to say,
on both Remus Lupin and young Mr. Potter. From there, I contacted a few old
liaisons in the foreign Ministries of Magic and found out where you had been
hiding all these years." Laurel looked up from staring blankly at the tabletop. "Could I ask how many
people are aware of this? My talent is not exactly publicized. The Raegans met
with unfair treatment, as well as their end, because of it." "You need not worry, my dear. As it stands, only Professor McGonagall and
myself are aware of your continued existence. But I would like to ask you to
consider returning to England," said Dumbledore calmly. Laurel was momentarily speechless. "I…I don't think I could do that." Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I beg you not to pass judgement until you
have heard me out. Once again, these are desperate times. Voldemort has returned
with all his power. Twice in the past four years he has used professors to
infiltrate Hogwarts. Last year at the TriWizard Tournament, he kidnapped two
Champions, Cedric Diggory and Harry Potter. Mr. Diggory was killed and Mr.
Potter was used to give Voldemort his body back. Luckily Mr. Potter escaped, but
the Dark Lord proved once again that he is a force to be reckoned with. Despite
this eminent threat, Cornelius Fudge refuses to believe me. "This term, I would like to have as many absolutely trustworthy professors on
staff as I possibly can. I have resurrected the old dueling classes, but I ask
that you return as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor." This time Laurel was stunned absolutely speechless. Sensing the awkward
silence, Dumbledore snapped his fingers and a large tawny owl flew in the open
window. "This will be a difficult decision, I realize. Take some time to think
about it. Send this owl back with your reply before the fifteenth of August, if
you would. I will be awaiting you note. It has been pleasant talking with your
once again, Laurel." With that, Dumbledore stood and Apparated out of the room, leaving Laurel
with only the owl and her ghosts for company.
Chapter Two ~ I Remember Healing comes so painfully I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say There's mending for my soul; an ending to this
fear I must go on… ~ "Damaged"
Laurel shivered as she stepped out of the cab. After the desert, late August
England was positively freezing. She had long since begun to doubt the sanity of
her decision to return and the weather did not improve her mood at all. She had
arrived in London a few days previous, on the twenty-eighth, and had been
boarding at the Leaky Cauldron. Tomorrow she would enter the entirely wizarding
world of Hogwarts School and had spent the day finalizing the last of her
Muggle-based affairs. Once inside the crowded pub, Laurel slowly picked her way over to the bar and
took a seat. "What'll it be today, Professor?" asked Tom, the kindly aging bartender. "Oh, something not too hard, I should think. I wouldn't want to begin term
with a hangover the size of Gringott's, would I?" Laurel smiled briefly at her
own joke as the bartender chuckled. "No, I can't see as how that would be appropriate. By the way, Professor,
your packages from Diagon Alley arrived and I took the liberty of putting them
on your bed for you." Laurel uttered her thanks as Tom handed her a freshly filled mug. Tucking a
lock of wavy blonde hair behind her ear, she stared sadly into its' swirling
amber depths. This was the first time in many years that Laurel had been in such close
proximity to so many people and the effect was overwhelming. Laurel's innate
gift of weak telepathy had been recently resurrected, and the impressions of
people's thoughts flooded her mind. Most of the feelings were friendly, but she
sensed a few stray suspicious thoughts. Perhaps it was simply paranoia, but Laurel felt that wizarding folk were
beginning to recognize her despite the reports of her death years ago. She was
sure that the rumors and the whispers had started again. "I wonder what she ever saw in him…" "Did she know? Was she a part of his plan?" "Didn't she have some clue?" None of it was new to Laurel. It was as if her murky past was being dredged
up for all to see. But this wasn't a sudden development, either; rather, it had
been resurrected two years ago when Sirius Black escaped Azkaban. Laurel had
ideas on how he accomplished that, but refused to share her knowledge with the
authorities. Whether because of some ill-kept loyalty or an unwillingness to
step back into the public light, she vowed to keep his secret. Disgusted with the overbearing mind-chatter, Laurel drained her drink, left a
few coins on the bar in payment, and headed up to her room. Away from people.
Again. This was getting slightly repetitive. True to his word, Tom had placed her parcels on the corner of her freshly
made bed. Opening the first of the brown-wrapped packages, Laurel found the
items she had ordered from Madam Malkin: numerous sets of everyday black robes,
a few dark blue standard robes, and a single set of dress robes. Laurel stepped into a pair of the black robes to double-check the fitting.
Doing the same for the blue robes, she examined herself critically in the
mirror. The robes were nothing special- the same style she used to wear all the
time. It felt strange to be wearing them after so long. A cold shiver ran down her back and she shuddered reflexively. The last thing
she needed right now was to be reminded of her past. Shedding the blue robes, Laurel tried on her dress robes - long, flowing
indigo material that shimmered as if wet when caught by the light. Obviously
Madam Malkin was like Mr. Ollivander in that she remembered every customer as
well, for these were identical in almost every sense to a set of robes she had
worn long ago. Laurel braced herself, tried to stop it, but she could not prevent the memory
from rushing forth out of a time farther away than dreams. ~~~ James Potter and Lily Evans were nowhere in sight - doubtlessly making the
best use of their time doing some heavy-duty snogging in one of the darkened
rooms conveniently located nearby. Peter Pettigrew was lurking by one of the huge and elaborate refreshment
tables, helping the House-elves rid themselves of leftovers. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black had been cornered across the room by a couple of
over-eager Ravenclaw fifth years and were looking decidedly uncomfortable. With
an evil grin, Sirius muttered something indecipherable to Remus and hastily made
his escape. Remus, now left to the mercies of both girls, looked stricken at his
friend's desertion. With a self-satisfied smile, Sirius made his way over to where Laurel stood
expectantly. He intertwined his fingers with hers as he spoke. "I think Moony
can fend for himself for a little while, can't he? Although those Ravenclaws can
be a bit pesky at times, I will admit." Trying to suppress a smile, Laurel arched an eyebrow. "You know, Sirius, you
really ought to be careful about who hears you say that. Rion and Polly might be
a tad bit offended." Mischief twinkled in Sirius' pale blue eyes at the mention of his siblings.
"Yes, I suppose I should, shouldn't I? I'll keep that in mind." "What did you say to Remus, by the way? Or do I really want to know?" "Oh, just that I'll miss him loads and think of him often." Sirius paused,
his expression forming into that of nervous solemnity. "Anyway, Laurel…they're
getting ready to play the last song of the night. I guess I wanted to know if
you'd like to grace everyone else with our amazing dancing abilities…unless
you'd rather pull a Prongs and Lily, that is. I could deal with that, if you'd
like," Sirius mused. She laughed, grinning widely. "I'm sure you could, but I don't think it's
going to happen. Not right now, at least. Yes Sirius, I'd love to dance with
you." The couple had no trouble working their way through the thinning crowd onto
the dance floor. Taking their place between Remus and one of the obsessive
Ravenclaw girls and the newly reemerged James and Lily, Laurel and Sirius began
to rotate slowly in a simple dance as the music began. As Laurel lost herself in Sirius' eyes, the words of the song seemed to
envelop her, penetrate her, fighting past all her defenses. Do you still remember Viva forever, I'll be waiting But something wasn't right. This wasn't the song she remembered dancing to.
What was wrong? When Laurel was jerked abruptly back to harsh reality, she felt a warm liquid
on her face - tears. She realized belatedly that her neighbor, a teenage witch
with an obvious affinity for Muggle music and listening to her stereo too
loudly, had provided the new music of her fantasy. It was then that the words of the song hit her, sending an Arctic chill
racing through her body. Laurel slumped forward, gripped the edge of the bureau
as the tears flowed unchecked, and stared at her enraged reflection in the
mirror. She looked a horrible mess, with her hair mussed by static and her blue
eyes even bluer against the background of bloodshot red. "Yes, goddamnit, I remember. Everything. Every last painful detail of every
damned moment," Laurel hissed, her voice rising dangerously as she spoke. "Did
you know it would turn out like this, Sirius? Is this what you planned all
along? To destroy me as fully as you did James and Lily? Peter? Remus, even? Or
am I just a casualty, a side effect? Is this what you wanted?! If it is, then
honey, you've gotten your wish! Look at me! I'll never be able to live normally
and Dumbledore thinks I can teach? Ha! All because of you! Are you happy yet?"
Laurel was all but screaming now. Sobbing, she fell back onto her bed and whispered, "I loved you then, Sirius.
Did you know that? I would have given everything - and I almost did. But
obviously the Sirius Black I fell in love with is not the Sirius Black you are.
I'm sorry." Laurel turned off the room's lights with an absent-minded flick of her wand,
plunging herself into total darkness. She cried herself to sleep like a child,
furious at herself for letting such old matters resurface so easily. Soon she was able to sleep peacefully, undisturbed by
dreams.
~ "Dangerous Game" Laurel arrived at King's Cross Station with her trunk by ten-thirty, giving
her half an hour to spare. To her surprise she found much as she remembered,
with only a few vendors and their wares here and there having changed. After browsing for ten or fifteen minutes, Laurel made her way cautiously
over to the barrier between Platforms Nine and Ten. Studying the solid-seeming
brick wall before her, she sincerely hoped that the doorway to Platform 9¾ was
the same as it had been some twenty-odd years ago. Otherwise, Laurel would be
making a complete and total fool of herself momentarily. Taking a deep healing breath, Laurel leaned against the barrier and found
herself sliding through time, space, and reality to emerge in the wizarding
world. All around her parents fussed over their children, older students waited
eagerly and tried to appear nonchalant, first years were terrified, and younger
siblings cried. Just like always; no surprises yet. Moving forward through the huge crowd at this moment was an almost futile
effort, so Laurel pulled her trunk to the side and sat to rest. She felt the mind flutter of an oncoming memory again and rather than fight
it, Laurel let it come. ~~~ "Laurel! Prongs!" called someone over the din. They searched for the source of the voice and saw Sirius, Remus, Lily, Peter,
and a few other friends standing by the wall near the head of the train, waving
madly at them. Laurel and James fought their way over to the group - no easy task - and warm
greetings were exchanged all around. She was just about to meet Sirius' gaze
when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to see Sirius' sister Polaris, a Ravenclaw fifth year, standing
there looking a trifle nervous. "Er…excuse me. Professor Raegan?" Why had Polly just called her "Professor"? She had no reason to; she couldn't
have known. Unless… Laurel blinked and saw not Polaris Black, but an anxious-seeming girl with
bushy brown hair and large hazel eyes looking at her. "Yes?" she replied
cautiously. The girl breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. For a moment, I thought I had
the wrong person. I'm Hermione Granger, a Gryffindor prefect. Professor
Dumbledore asked me to make sure you made it on the train okay." Laurel smiled weakly. "Yes, that does sound like him. Well, Hermione, I think
my only problem today will be getting my things to the train and finding a free
compartment in which to store them. If it is anywhere as crowded as it was when
I came here, that should be quite an accomplishment." Hermione seemed to like the idea of a challenge. She grabbed one end of
Laurel's trunk and led the way, pulling rank as a prefect to weave a path
through the milling students. On the way she began asking questions. "You'll
forgive me for being nosy, Professor, but how come you attended Hogwarts if
you're an American? Did I judge the accent correctly? Aren't there wizarding
schools over there?" Laurel was impressed by the girl's perceptiveness - her accent had almost
been lost by now, melded with traces of so many others. "Yes, I am American.
Born in the South, though I haven't been back to the States since I was younger
than you are now. There are wizarding schools in the U.S., but my sister
and I were sent to Hogwarts for political reasons. My father was an old friend
of Albus', so he offered us a safe haven. Though in the end I think it was more
harm than help." "Oh, really? That sounds fascinating!" Indeed, Hermione sounded as if she
would very much like to hear more, but Laurel was in no mood to divulge more of
her past. Luckily, she was spared an awkward silence when they reached the
train. After helping Laurel find an empty compartment near the back of the train
Hermione ran off, presumably to find her own friends. Laurel sat down by a
window and pulled out a wizarding copy of Shakespeare's MacBeth she had
found in Flourish and Blott's. A good Muggle story like this ought to put her
mind off the memories. Somewhere in the middle of Act I, the Hogwarts Express pulled away from the
station. Laurel had just begun Act II when she felt the brush of a
familiar-seeming mind nearby. But then, that couldn't be…wouldn't Dumbledore
have told her? Shaking the brief sensation off, Laurel did not look up when the door to her
compartment opened and the familiar presence entered, taking the seat across
from her. She was successfully and forcibly immersing herself in her book when
he spoke. "I was told I would find the other new professor in here so I thought I would
come introduce myself." Ice ran through Laurel's veins as she recognized beyond
doubt the warm tenor voice. "I am-" "Remus Lupin," she finished, looking up for the first time. He seemed slightly taken aback, but it was obvious that he didn't recognize
her right off. "Why, yes…how- Oh my God, Laurel? Laurel Raegan?" Laurel nodded, unwilling to deny her identity to an old friend. She wasn't
sure if she'd ever seen Remus caught off guard like this ever before, and it was
slightly disconcerting. "B-but…I thought you…that you…" he sputtered. Laurel felt her cheeks start to flush and she looked away, mortally
embarrassed. "I…er…I almost did. But I couldn't and I've been hiding away for
the past ten years. Until Dumbledore came and connived me out of my early
retirement, that is. I'm sorry I never told you, Remus. I thought it was for the
better…" Remus had his face buried in his hands. "Why, Laurel? Why couldn't you tell
me?" Laurel sighed, feeling a major guilt trip forming. "Cowardice, I suppose. The
same reason I'm still here. I mean, it just wouldn't have looked good to send
you that letter and then show up saying, 'Hi! I was too weak to kill myself, so
if you wouldn't mind discarding that note…?'" At that response Remus took her hands in his, causing her to drop her book,
which protested vehemently. "No, Laurel. That's not true and you know it." Though she felt deeply ashamed, Laurel faced Remus and was immediately struck
by now little he had apparently aged over the past ten years. The only signs of
the passage of time were a slightly worn face and grey flecks in his light brown
hair. His green-and-gold-flecked eyes still shone with the same sad intensity.
She briefly wondered if it might have something to do with his lycanthropy,
staring blankly at the paneling just above his head. Taking a deep breath, Remus continued. "Sirius was devastated when I showed
him your letter, Laurel. He's been blaming himself for everything…" Suddenly furious, Laurel jerked her hands away and stood with her back to
Remus. "As well he should! Dear God, Remus! How could you talk to the man after
what he did?! Did you visit him in that hellhole or have you…have you been
sheltering him?" Remus looked confused for a moment, then laughed sadly. "I would have thought
Dumbledore might have told you, but I see he didn't." "Tell me what?" "That he's innocent." Laurel spun to look Remus directly in the eyes, a half-crazed expression on
her face. "Would you mind running that by me again, Remus? I could have sworn I
heard you say that he's innocent." Remus put his hands on her shoulders to brace her. "You did. Sirius is
innocent, Laurel. It's true." Laurel bit her lip, wondering if perhaps Sirius had placed Remus under some
kind of spell. Surely he couldn't be… "I'd love to believe that, Remus, but how
can that be? He killed Peter…so many people saw it." "They didn't see what they thought they saw. Sirius was framed." Even though it belied all logic, Laurel felt inclined to believe her old
friend, who up until now had been the logical one. "B-but then…by who?" Remus' face darkened malevolently. "By Peter Pettigrew. He faked his own
death and spent most of the past fourteen years in his Animagus form. I saw him
just over a year ago and he confessed…but escaped before he could be turned over
to the Ministry. That's why Sirius is still wanted." Laurel started incredulously. "What about James and Lily? Wasn't Sirius was
their Secret-Keeper?" Shaking his head, Remus replied, "No. At the last minute they switched to
Peter, using Sirius as a ruse. They didn't tell you for your own protection. If
you knew nothing, then the Death Eaters would have no use for you and they
certainly didn't need another reason to come after you. They…didn't tell
me…because Sirius suspected that I was…the spy." He sighed, troubled by the
thought. Laurel was absolutely stunned. All the truths of the past fourteen years had
been unceremoniously dumped into the trash compactor in just a few minutes'
conversation. She had no clue how to respond to this. "So…Peter betrayed James
and Lily…he was the spy…he killed those people…he…he convicted
Sirius…innocently…!" "Yes! But we can't prove Sirius' innocence until we find Peter! The only
people who could testify that they saw him are a convict, three teenagers with a
history of breaking rules, and…a werewolf. Right now only a handful of people
are aware of this; people Dumbledore knows he can trust. You'll probably be
questioned by Ministry officials about Sirius and his whereabouts, but you
mustn't tell them anything," explained Remus passionately. Laurel nodded blankly as a horrible thought hit her. She started to crumple
to the seat but Remus grabbed her, setting her down gently. "But this means…all
these years…all this time…he's been in Azkaban…that awful
hellhole…innocent…and I've thought he betrayed them. Betrayed us.
I should have known! If only…" "No," said Remus sternly, sounding more like a guardian than a friend. "You
couldn't have known. There was no way, so don't go assigning blame where it has
no right to be. Sirius has the help and trust of Dumbledore and he will continue
to evade capture until proper justice can be served. But we mustn't talk about
this too openly, as most don't know the truth." Laurel nodded and Remus cleared his throat, continuing, "Well, certainly
there must be other things more pleasant to discuss. Why don't you tell me all
that has happened to you during your missing years?"
Chapter Four ~ Return Cold fire clenched to my heart in the blue of night. We met in the mists of morning "Broken Mirror" When the end of the train ride drew near, Remus said, "Now, there are
probably a few things…students, actually, that you should know about before your
classes begin. Of course, the Slytherins are always trouble, as I'm sure you'll
remember. There are a few Gryffindor seventh years, however, who seem to idolize
the Marauders. They actually had the Map for a couple of years before passing it
on. I don't believe they know the true identities of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot,
and Prongs, so that's a good thing. Fred and George Weasley, identical twins,
and their friend Lee Jordan are the budding terrorists. Just like James, Sirius,
and I were, so you'll need to keep an especially close eye on them…" He trailed
off when he noticed that Laurel had stopped listening, and was staring at the
passing countryside, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. Guessing what was going through her mind, Remus said, "Yes, I know. I wish it
could all be the same. That it had never happened. Who knows what great things
might have occurred?" Laurel grinned reflectively. "We all thought we were invincible, didn't we?
We were young, and therefore no one could touch us. No matter that Voldemort was
striking down people in our generation left and right, nothing and no one could
shatter our perfect world." She turned back to Remus, a sorrowful expression on
her face. "But we were wrong." Remus nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Trying to calm his own nerves,
he reached out to Laurel and pulled her into a loose hug. She wept softly on his
shoulder, and he kissed her lightly on the top of the head. Suddenly there was a knock at their compartment door, and Hermione stepped in
with two boys about her age, one with fiery red hair and a bewildered
expression, and the other with messy black hair and glasses. Laurel and Remus
jerked back in shock. "Um…if we've come at a bad time, Professors…" said
Hermione slowly. Remus shook his head as Laurel wiped away her tears. "No, it's fine,
Hermione. Come, sit down. Harry, Ron, you too." He gestured to the compartment's
bench seats. At the mention of the names, Laurel looked strangely at Harry. So that's
Harry Potter at age fifteen. My godson. Of course, Lily and James only named me
godmother because Sirius was his godfather. Everyone thought that we…we would be
married soon. But we never got the chance... My word, he looks so much like
James at that age, but his eyes are unmistakably Lily. I really shouldn't have
expected anything different, but it's still rather spooky. When she shook
herself out of her reverie, she saw that Harry had noticed her attention, and
was returning her strange look inconspicuously. Laurel supposed that he must be
used to the public eye by now. Hermione, however, missed the exchange altogether. "Harry, Ron, this is
Professor Raegan, our new DADA teacher. Professor Raegan, these are my friends
Ron Weasley and Harry Potter. They're in Gryffindor also." Laurel decided not to call any more attention to Harry than necessary, and
instead turned to Ron. "Weasley? As in Fred and George?" Ron looked like the cat that caught the canary. "Um…yes. They're my older
brothers. Heard of them, have you? They'll be thrilled that their reputation now
spans past the school." Laurel smiled. "Yes, I've been duly warned about them. Though I think I may
rather enjoy teaching them." Everyone but Remus looked surprised at her statement. He knew exactly what
she meant. The tables had been turned, and now they would have to watch out for
practical jokes. Goodness knows how many they and their friends had pulled
during their own glory days. Harry continued to glance at Laurel out of the corner of his eye, a strange
feeling in his stomach. Not a bad one, but a strange one, all the same. She
however, glanced out the window, recognizing the scenery. "It looks as if we'll
be entering Hogsmeade in a moment, so I hope you have all your things
together." Almost as soon as she had spoken, the pull of the brakes was felt as the
train began slowing down. Any further conversation was lost in the commotion as
students scrambled to gather their belongings. Remus calmly took down his
tattered briefcase and Laurel repacked her book inside her rucksack as the train
reached a screeching halt. Stepping off the crimson train, Laurel found to her delight that Hogsmeade
Station also remained pretty much the same. Remus led Laurel over to the line of
waiting carriages, and helped her in. The magic-powered carriages were the
traditional way to bring second years and above to the gargantuan castle. Once inside the black carriage, Laurel turned to Remus. "You never said why
you were riding the Hogwarts Express. It's been my understanding that teachers
usually arrive beforehand." Remus looked slightly uncomfortable. "They do. I'm assuming that you no
longer keep up with the lunar calendar, but the full moon was three days ago.
Normally, I'm fully recovered by that time, but I had run out of the Wolfsbane
Potion with no way of getting any more, so… May I ask why you rode the
train?" Laurel sighed. "Procrastination, I suppose. Putting off my return to the real
world as long as possible. Hiding from possible pain, like usual." "You really need to stop putting yourself down like that, you know. All that
is in the past now. Sirius is innocent, you're alive, and you're a
teacher. You can't let these kids down, not now of all times. There's too much
at stake to risk for an inexcusable lack of self-confidence," said Remus,
frowning. Laurel was slightly surprised to hear such a lecture from Remus, but she
realized that he was right. She had to completely put her past behind her now
that she had returned. She glanced out the window as the looming castle came ever closer. "It seems
so strange to return after all these years. I never dreamed I would be asked to
teach. Did you?" asked Laurel, turning back to Remus. He shook his head remorsefully. "To tell the truth, I wasn't expecting to be
ever offered a job, much less one that involves leading the next generation." It
was now Remus' turn to stare sadly out the window. Laurel bit her lip, realizing she'd come dangerously close to a very touchy
subject. She'd forgotten the nuances of talking to Remus in public, so she'd
have to remember to keep a hold on her tongue from now on. Presently, they arrived at the entrance to the Great Hall. When their
carriage stopped at the front steps, Remus helped Laurel out of the car and the
two professors walked in among their students. A few of the students called greetings to Remus, who responded warmly. It
made Laurel glad to see that at least here, Remus wasn't viewed as a beast. He'd
worked so hard to overcome that in his lifetime. The two went around a side hallway to enter the Great Hall from the front by
the teacher's table. Dumbledore was waiting on them. He greeted Remus warmly and then turned to Laurel. "I'm so glad you decided
to come, my dear. Now, let's have the introductions all around. There should be
a few professors that you recognize, but others that you may not. Come, join
us." Dumbledore gestured for Remus and Laurel to follow him to the Head
Table. She scanned the length of the table, searching for familiar faces as she was
introduced to each. There was McGonagall, Trelawney, Flitwick, Sinistra,
Snape… Wait…Severus Snape? A Hogwarts professor? That's ridiculous! Suddenly Snape turned her way, and there could be no mistake. The look in his
eyes when he saw her was priceless. Taking the free seat beside him, she
grinned. "Why, hello, Severus. Long time, no see, eh? I never expected to see
you back here." Snape forced a pleasant smile. "Laurel Raegan. I was…overjoyed…when
Dumbledore informed us that you had accepted the post. So nice to see you
again." "Charmed, I'm sure." Laurel had found early on in her schooling that the
quickest way to irritate Snape was to be amazingly nice to him, so she did her
best to be civil. A glance to the back of the room told her that the Sorting was
about to begin. She smiled, for the first time remembering her past without being troubled.
Her own Sorting seemed so long ago. ~~~ Laurel wondered what House she would be best for. Most of the information she
had gathered was slightly biased, but from all accounts, she thought that
Ravenclaw or Gryffindor suited her best. She'd already met the Slytherins, and
she had no desire to join them. She tensed when the boy in front of her was called. "Raby, Aquila!" After a moment of silence, the tattered old hat called out, "HUFFLEPUFF!" It was now Laurel's turn. She clenched her now-sweaty hands into a fist as
Professor Rafinki called her name. "Raegan, Laurel!" There was a slight murmur in from a smattering of people. Apparently news of
the Raegan family notoriety had reached even England. Sitting down on the stool, she saw James flash her a smile and a quick
thumbs-up, which eased a little of her tension. The Sorting Hat was placed on
her head, and Laurel waited for the verdict. To her surprise, she heard a voice inside her head. "Laurel Raegan, eh? I
don't recall ever Sorting a Raegan before, but you are an American. Now, let's
see…to come so far from your family takes great strength of nerve. I see
cleverness, honor, morals, and a good mind, but your work ethic isn't the best,
now is it? That would rule out Hufflepuff. Ravenclaw would be good for you, but
I see the potential you hold being wasted there. No, without a doubt, you belong
in GRYFFINDOR!" Laurel faintly heard the Hat shout the last word to the silent room, and the
Gryffindor table burst into raucous applause. Grinning widely, she ran over to
take the seat between James and a girl she did not know. The tall black-haired
boy across from her congratulated her briefly, but their attention was soon
turned to the next girl after Laurel, a rather irritating blonde by the name of
Hannah Rosier. "SLYTHERIN!" A small boy grinned slyly and ran to join his Housemates, who were cheering
wildly. Both Laurel and Snape applauded as well, though she more out of duty.
Glancing down the table to where Remus sat, between Hagrid and a short professor
with flyaway hair, she caught his eye. They exchanged a look that clearly said
they could do without another Slytherin. After the last first-year had been sorted into Ravenclaw, Dumbledore stood
for his start of term speech. As always, he reminded the students about the
Forbidden Forest and other boundaries. He gave the items the caretaker, Argus
Filch, had added to the list of forbidden objects, and then it was time to
introduce the new teachers. "This year, we have added a new class, Dueling, to our schedule. It is a
mandatory class, and I am sure you will benefit greatly from taking it. Those of
you who are Third Year or older will remember Professor Lupin, who has kindly
consented to fill this experimental post. "As some of you learned two years ago, Professor Lupin is a lycanthrope, and
he has asked that you all be made aware of this fact. This in no way means that
he is to be disrespected. He is not a danger to you during the month, nor will
he be on the full moon, thanks to the Wolfsbane Potion. He may have to miss a
class or two on occasion, but he is overall an excellent teacher. I hope you
will all welcome him back." There was a smattering of timid applause. Laurel saw that only a portion of
the Gryffindor table truly cheered. She supposed that the rest were slightly
intimidated by his condition. Dumbledore then gestured to Laurel. "I would also like to welcome our new
Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Raegan. She has traveled all
the way from the deserts of Egypt at my request, so I hope you will all make her
lengthy trip worthwhile and rewarding. She is an expert in this field, having
been part of a secret team supplementing the Aurors during the Dark Lord's reign
of terror, as well as an amateur explorer these past few years. Hopefully in the
trying times to come, you will be able to provide strong resistance with her
guidance. "Now, I believe we are all sufficiently hungry, so let the feast begin!"
Dumbledore clapped his hands once and food filled all the platters and serving
bowls set out on the tables. A low roar of conversation filled the Great Hall as
students began their meals. Laurel sighed softly. She had made it to Hogwarts and through the start of
term feast. The next challenge would come the next morning, with her first
class.
Chapter Five ~ Embrace of Pain
Fate is a wheel ~ Taken from Xena, Warrior Princess Laurel's first class began at nine o'clock the next morning. It looked as if
today would be an easy day, teaching-wise. She would begin her new career with
the seventh year Gryffindor class containing the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan.
This ought to be entertaining. She entered her classroom, what had been the Potions classroom in her day,
and gathered her notes for the day's lesson. For her fifth and seventh year
classes, which had large cumulative tests facing them in the spring, she planned
a yearlong review of the two big categories in her subject. The fall term would
be spent learning Curses, and the spring learning about Creatures. Today she had
scheduled the beginnings of an overview on the Unforgivable and Intolerable
Curses. She knew that the students had already studied the Unforgivable Curses,
but she didn't know how many had even heard of the Intolerables. With a frown,
she surmised that most of the Slytherins probably had. Her first class entered the room shortly before nine. She spotted two
redheads in the back of the room, quite obviously the Weasley twins. She
supposed that the mischievous-looking boy with them was Lee Jordan. It seemed that the trio was eager to test Laurel early on, for they
immediately began practical jokes. "Oi, Katie! Katie Bell!" hissed a twin. When the blonde girl in front of them turned, the other twin asked, "Want a
jelly bean?" He held out a scarlet drawstring bag innocently. "Sure!" said Katie, reaching in and grabbing a few, popping them all in her
mouth. Not a second later, she gagged. "Oh my word, what did you do to them?!?"
she cried, running to the garbage can. The three laughed at their work, but quit when they saw Laurel walking
towards them. They obviously thought that they had gotten away with it. "Let me
guess," said Laurel slowly, suppressing a smile of her own. "You've enchanted
them all to be the same flavor. Sardine, perhaps? Or maybe booger. Which
detestable flavor was today's pick?" As Laurel picked up the scarlet bag, Lee muttered, "Vomit, ma'am." She arched an eyebrow, moving aside to let Katie return to her desk. "Vomit?
That's quite a hard one to enchant, if I recall. Most impressive." She turned,
taking the bag of enchanted beans back with her, laying them on the corner of
her desk. Laurel turned back to the class, now smiling. She quickly called roll and
then began, "As I'm sure you all know, I am Professor Raegan. I remember well
the intrigue of a new teacher, so I will try to answer all decent questions you
might have. Let me take this opportunity to assure you that I am not a Death
Eater in disguise; I am the real Professor Raegan." Some in the class tittered
at this comment, while others shifted nervously, remembering last year's
deception. "As some of you might have guessed from my accent, I am American. Despite
that, I did attend Hogwarts, so I am not completely lost as you might imagine.
Believe it or not, I was your age once, and I do know exactly how boring classes
can be, so I will attempt to make this interesting. Or at least, engaging enough
to keep you awake." A few more students laughed at this. "This year, I plan for each and every one of you to ace the Defense Against
the Dark Arts part of your N.E.W.T.s. We will spend this term on curses, with
which you should be reasonably familiar. Now, if you would please take out your
textbooks, we can begin." When she heard a few poorly concealed giggles, Laurel
smiled. "How to Dodge, by Kell Narcassan. Yes, it sounds like a joke,
doesn't it? Despite the humorous cover, this book is far from laughable, as is
the entire topic of curses. If you walk out of here without learning a darn
thing about the subject, then you had better know how to dodge, because you
can't hope to hold your own in a wizard's duel otherwise. "I daresay you are familiar with the Unforgivable Curses by now - Avada
Kedavra, Cruciatus, and Imperius. Each is terrible, but the ranks of curses do
not stop there. For some twisted minds, killing simply wasn't enough. The pain
of Cruciatus wasn't intense enough. Power over another's mind was no longer
satisfying. So a whole new rank of curses was created, building up the pyramid.
These are the Intolerable Curses. They combine the effects of the Unforgivables
with whole new torture, and each is more horrible than the next. The use of the
least of these constitutes instant life in Azkaban without trial. Sometimes the
perpetrators are even met with the Dementor's Kiss." Laurel waited as the class scrambled to take down notes. "The first of these
curses, found on page 57 in your books," she continued, pausing briefly for
books to be opened, "is known as Amplector Morsus, or more simply, the Knife
Curse. It doesn't sound too fear inspiring, but the repercussions of this curse,
if you survive the initial attack, can last the rest of your life. "No one knows exactly when Amplector Morsus came into being, but there is
evidence of its use in the early tenth century. The curse saw its' most
widespread use in the 1930s and 1940s with the rise of Grindelwald. The Dark
Lord and his followers, however, all but abandoned this curse for the relative
ease of the Cruciatus, which accounts for the virtual anonymity of this horrific
spell. "Just like Avada Kedavra, Amplector Morsus takes a good bit of power backing
it to be executed properly. It is cast with the words Amplector Morsaii.
Unlike most curses, this is one that is preferable to be hit with at point-blank
range. Instead of losing intensity, Amplector Morsus only gains force over
distances, which is why it is mostly used in long-range wizard battles." A dark haired girl, Savyna Dewby, if Laurel remembered correctly, raised her
hand. "What exactly does Amplector Morsus do, Professor?" "Well, as I said, its' more common name is the Knife Curse. Wherever this
curse hits you, it forms a knife-life stab wound. The further away it is cast,
the deeper the injury. At the same time you are stabbed, intense pain sears
through your body, not unlike the Cruciatus Curse. This pain lasts only for
around thirty seconds, but that may be enough to doom you in a serious
situation. A stab wound like this would usually not impediment a fully trained
wizard, who could heal it in seconds, but it is impossible to treat Amplector
Morsus with magic. Doing so only causes longer episodes of pain and a possible
permanent injury. So you are now shaken from the initial attack and left
with a nasty wound that probably disables you. If you were lucky, the
spell-caster was either a good shot, and the stab killed you immediately, or a
crappy aim, and couldn't hit fish in a barrel. Neither case is too terribly
appealing." One of the twins, George, she supposed, raised his hand but didn't wait to be
called on. "Is there any way you could show it to us?" Laurel shook her head. "To use Amplector Morsus on any living creature, even
an enlarged insect, is punishable by law. There are no loopholes that could
allow demonstration. I'm sorry." Laurel talked a bit more about Amplector Morsus, and then continued on to the
next curse, Severa. "I'm sure all of you have used this curse's little brother,
Severa Primo, at some point or another to trim edges. Well, Severa does the
same, except with body parts. It's quick, easy, and less messy than a battle
axe. Contrary to how it sounds, this curse does not have the added bonus of
turning the victim into a cross-dressing Snape, horrible fate as that is." She
smiled and let the class laugh at her joke before continuing. "It is cast by saying Severa and then the part of the body you wish to
amputate. For example, if I were to sever Lee's arm, I would point my wand at
him and say Severa Brachium. This is one reason knowing scientific terms
is useful." Fred copied his brother and didn't wait before speaking. "Why is that? In
case we happen to decide to become Dark Wizards?" "No, because you might like to know which body part you will be missing
shortly, and have what little comfort that provides," explained Laurel,
marveling at the imagination of those two. It didn't seem soon enough when her first class ended. She glanced at the
pile of confiscated items on her desk. Each time Fred, George, or Lee had
brought one out, she had walked over and retrieved the offending object without
interrupting her lecture. The mischievous trio now came up to her desk. "Umm…Professor?" asked Lee. "Yes?" "Might we have our things back now?" asked a twin. Laurel thought for a moment. Most of their joke items were not potentially
harmful, like the enchanted jellybeans, but others she had cause to worry about,
like the Filibuster's Fireworks concealed inside an inkbottle. Something
reminded her that these students had Potions class next. "Most of them, yes. I will have to keep a few, however, but I don't see why
you can't have these." She picked out the two or three dangerous pranks and
placed them in a desk drawer, and pushed the rest over to the boys, who were
grinning happily. Flashing a knowing smile before shooing them out, Laurel said, "I really
would hate to hear about any trouble in Professor Snape's
class."
Chapter Six ~ Remembrance I sit and watch the rain In his eyes By looking in his eyes, will I see beyond tomorrow? ~ "In His Eyes" Laurel sat and stared sadly out the window. It was close to midnight, and the
rain running down the window was soothing. The only light in the small apartment
Dumbledore had given her was provided by flickering firelight. All in all, a perfect mood for memories. Which is exactly what Laurel was trying to accomplish. More than anything,
she wanted to return to her past, to a time when life still held promise. She
wanted to remember some good, but that wasn't to be… The wisp of a memory that drifted to mind was similar to the night: dark and
gloomy. ~~~ When Professor Gareth had accosted her with this message in Hogsmeade that
spring morning, the gravity of the situation had just never occurred to her. She
had assumed…well, whatever she had assumed, it hadn't been this. She had never
thought to fear the worst. It just hadn't been plausible. As thirteen-year-old Laurel stood by herself, staring at the bier laid out in
a room off the Great Hall, she knew better. She would always assume the worst
now, for the worst had always been her story. Chloe… Laurel's thoughts stretched to her sister, the eleven-year-old now lying on
that bier. As sisters who inherited the talent of telepathy in a hostile world,
they had shared a unique bond, always able to sense the other if they wished.
Now, no matter how hard she tried, all she could sense was silence. A deathly quiet… Laurel's chest tightened as she attempted to fight the tears rising in her
throat. It had all been so sudden… Hadn't she been through enough already?
Hadn't last year been punishment enough for a lifetime? Obviously not. Was she doomed to be alone the rest of her life, however long that may be?
Obviously so. It was hard to accept that the small brown-haired girl lying in stasis was
really her little sister, Chloe Theresa Raegan. She was far too young to die.
But she had…killed mercilessly by Lord Voldemort for choosing what was right.
For not exploiting her wonderful power. For not joining him. It was a no-win situation: join Voldemort and betray all you love, or refuse
him and lose all you love. It was the choice Laurel had made two years ago, the
choice that had cost her the lives of her family and now her last relative, her
sister. For the first time, Laurel was truly alone in the world. As that chilling thought rose to mind, Laurel could resist no longer and let
out a choked sob. Thinking she was alone in the dark room, she let the tears
flow freely. The impact of it all had not hit her fully yet, and she feared
it. Laurel did not hear the soft footsteps of a person entering the room, but she
froze when a hand was laid gently on her shoulder. "Come to bed, Laurel, please… It's not healthy to spend all night down
here…dwelling. Please come back to the Tower." Laurel turned to see Sirius Black standing there in his pajamas, looking as
somber as she felt. Not bothering to try and stop crying, she shook her
head. "I can't sleep…not after…how could I?" Sirius squeezed her arm. "I know it's tough, but please…at least come and sit
in the Common Room. If you can't sleep, then I'll stay up with you. We can
talk…if you feel like it. If not, we can sit. Just as long as you leave this
room." Laurel looked oddly at him. Sirius Black, the clown of her year, the boy who
irritated her more than anything in the world, the one boy in her House she
truly couldn't stand, had come to find her. He had risked getting caught by the
caretaker and getting sentenced to detention until he was a seventh year. He was
watching out for her. It was amazing… "I'd like to, Sirius, but I can't. I really don't know if I'm able." "Please." He said this so imploringly, pleading with her, and it was hard to
resist his advice. With a last extremely long look at Chloe's body, Laurel bowed her head and
allowed Sirius to escort her out of the room. To her surprise, the tears seemed
to flow more freely now that someone else was there, and she still made no
effort to stifle them. Sirius seemed to understand. Sirius brought her to their House Common Room, where they both took a seat on
the couch. Laurel said, "Thank you for offering to stay up with me, but I can't
let you. You have class tomorrow, and I've been excused. It wouldn't be fair to
you…" Sirius laughed momentarily. "I'm quite used to staying up all night.
Sometimes…I have these dreams…horrible…lots of death and destruction, and
standing out against it all is high-pitched laughter. It scares me so much that
I can't sleep the rest of the night, so I come down here. The fire is quite nice
this late, when it's burning down." Laurel was shocked at how open Sirius was being with her, when the only words
they had previously exchanged had been scathing. She felt compelled to confide
in him as well. Not knowing quite where to begin, Laurel just began talking about what ever
came to her mind…memories of Chloe, the fears she had… Soon, she had told more
to Sirius than she had ever shared with anyone in her entire life, excepting her
sister. Through it all, Sirius had remained quiet, listening intently. By the time she had run out of things to say, she no longer felt quite as
burdened. Granted, there were things she would always bear, but she was not the
sole load-bearer anymore. A sudden sense of exhaustion overcame her. The normally rowdy boy noticed this and allowed Laurel to lean against his
shoulder, rubbing her back soothingly, as his mother had always done for him
when he was upset. Within minutes, Laurel's breathing, ragged from crying, was
coming evenly and smoothly. She had fallen asleep. Sirius made no move to waken her, not until morning came, and the two stayed
in the common room like that all night, sleeping peacefully. They were no longer
enemies, but friends of the closest sort. Recovering from her reverie, Laurel wiped away the moisture from her face.
She had never fully recovered from the death of her sister, and it was still
very painful to revisit. Glancing at the window, Laurel saw that the rain was slowing. She got up from
her chair and readied herself for bed, realizing that she would need her rest
for the next day. Still, she mused as she turned out the light, I wonder if Sirius knew
then how it would turn out, what we would turn into. I certainly didn't dream
it. And of all the horrible things that have happened since then, I won't say I
regret a single moment of my time spent with him.
Chapter Seven ~ Passage of Seasons There's a face that we wear There's a face that we hide ~ "Façade" The next few weeks passed surprisingly quickly. The only class Laurel really
had difficulty with was the fifth year Slytherins. This class contained one
Draco Malfoy, who, besides having a tendency to heckle her during her lectures,
had an uncanny resemblance to his father. Laurel had had her difficulties, to
say the very least, with Lucius Malfoy in the past, so this certainly didn't
help the situation any. Other than this, all her students seemed warm and eager
to learn. Not long after the beginning of term, Dumbledore called a mandatory
conference, but told no one what it was about beforehand. He reminded them of
the danger of the present times and asked that they try to be on their guard at
all times. It went without saying that they should keep a special eye out for
Harry Potter. Dumbledore also asked that everyone begin brushing up on their
dueling skills. He assigned groups of three to ensure after-hours practice. Laurel supposed she really should have seen that Act of Dumbledore coming. To
the surprise and dismay of all, Dumbledore teamed up Laurel, Remus, and Snape;
the least experienced fighter with the two best. It was increasingly difficult to tell who was the least happy with these
arrangements: Remus or Snape. For the first minutes following the meeting, both
were sulking and glaring at the other. "Oh, come on! Quit acting like children, you two," Laurel chastised. She
wasn't exactly thrilled about these arrangements either, but she tried not to
let her misgivings show. "I'm sure Dumbledore has a good reason for this…" she
trailed off, unable to think of a decent explanation herself. Dumbledore
obviously knew something she didn't. Remus sighed, and reluctantly turned to Snape, offering his hand. "She's
right. Truce, Severus?" "Until the first duel," agreed Snape, even more reluctantly accepting the
handshake. After the trio began meeting for their practices, Laurel has almost no time
for herself. She taught Monday through Saturday until mid-afternoon, and was
then accosted by a torrent of over-eager students with a barrage of questions,
led by the infamous Hermione Granger. On Sundays, most of the teachers either
chaperoned the Hogsmeade day trips or kept an eye on the students staying at the
castle. After her daytime duties were complete, she, Severus, and Remus
traversed out to the Quidditch pitch to begin their refresher lessons. These dueling sessions were usually quite predictable. The two men would
begin by working with her, teaching her defensive strategies, and a few shady
curses to boot. Laurel felt like a third year in class once more, and she was
glad for the chance. After about thirty minutes of strategies, they would
practice sparring - two fighting, one mediating. When Laurel dueled with Remus,
it was obvious that he held back, unwilling to hurt a friend, giving her a
chance to perfect methods under less stressful circumstances. His classic
overprotectiveness flattered Laurel slightly, but was irritating nonetheless.
Snape, on the other hand, was not as considerate. He tended to push her
limits, make her reach to employ skills and strategies she could barely
describe, and regularly fighting her to exhaustion. To her extreme surprise,
Laurel actually grew to look forward to her spars with Snape, knowing she would
always safely learn something new. On the nights of the full moon, Snape and Laurel worked alone while Remus
locked himself up in his office, the wolf neutralized by the Wolfsbane Potion.
The full moon in November was no different. Fatigued from sparring Snape, Laurel
sat on the soft grass. "You know," she commented, wiping a drop of sweat from
her brow, "I must admit preferring Muggle weaponry. I could swear that it's less
exhausting than this." Snape arched an eyebrow at this comment, but did not inquire where she gained
her knowledge of the subject. "Perhaps, and we certainly might spend our time
practicing that, but it would serve us little good. All but a few Death Eaters
hold any Muggle art in the highest disdain. Surprisingly, though, it is the more
highly placed ones that appreciate the fine art of the sword. Lucius Malfoy, for
one, is an accomplished swordsman." Laurel shuddered at the mention of the name Malfoy, but resisted the burning
comment rising to her tongue. Instead, she said softly after a moment, "We
should be getting inside. It's late." She glanced upwards at the clear night
sky, lit by the white fire of the full moon. "I heartily agree," said Snape, but not in his usual condescending manner.
There was a new inflection to his voice, almost as if Laurel had interrupted
some disturbing dream. Pondering this sudden change, Laurel started to rise from her sitting
position. She was almost too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice the pale
hand stretched towards her. She looked up to see Snape offering her a hand up,
to her astonishment. Never before had he thought to extend such a pleasantry to
her or any other. Taking his proffered hand, Laurel pulled her self to a standing position,
brushing the dirt off the seat of her pants. She and Snape then began to start
trek back up to the now-darkened castle. On the way, she cast him a sideways
glance. "Why this sudden burst of chivalry, Severus? What is it that you're hiding?"
inquired Laurel. Snape shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing to be discussed now, or anytime in
the near future. Just…just be on your guard. Strange happenings are afoot." Laurel was puzzled by this response, but her mind didn't stay on it long.
With a last glance to the bright sky, her thoughts turned to Remus and how he
was faring the night. Chapter Eight ~ Darker Reality
And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin' And I don't want the world to see me ~ "Iris" performed by the Goo Goo Dolls The next night at supper, Dumbledore announced the date of the upcoming
Winter Ball. This dance was to be held the night before the end of term, open to
fourth years and above, but not on so grand a scale as the previous year's Yule
Ball. All the professors would chaperon this event, and Laurel was secretly
dreading it. The month seemed to sneak by all too quickly. Before she realized it, the eve of the Winter Ball was upon them, and Laurel
was sure she'd never been more stressed in her life. Because it was the end of
term, she had to finish grading all of her end-of-term exams that night, and she
knew that alone would keep her up all night. As a student, she'd never thought
how difficult a teacher's life actually was, but she could certainly empathize
now. When the vaunted night arrived, Laurel donned the indigo robes she'd bought
from Madam Malkin. The material shimmered as if it were wet - obviously
enchanted. She was almost reluctant to leave her room in the teacher's hall when
it was time for her to head down to the Great Hall. To her surprise, someone was waiting for her in the hallway. "Remus! I thought you would still be recovering from the other night. Why
aren't you…?" Laurel said quizzically. "The period after is not as long with the Wolfsbane Potion. I'm quite
alright, Laurel. Don't worry about me." Remus smiled and shook his head. "Most
of the others have already gone down. Shall we?" he asked, gesturing to the
backside of the tapestry concealing their hallway. "We shall." Laurel nodded to him and they set off to the Great Hall. As
professors, they had been asked to arrive early, and when Laurel and Remus
entered the wonderfully decorated room, the pre-ball feast had yet to begin.
Already, students were milling anxiously about the Entrance Hall, fretting about
every tiny detail. Laurel laughed softly. "Remember those days, Remus? I think our biggest worry
was that one of the Hair Charms didn't go horribly wrong or blow us all up." "If I recall, many of those charms did go wrong. More of the younger students
received injuries from too-advanced spells going awry than from anything else.
They still do, I believe. These Winter Balls always made me uncomfortable." "Why, might I ask?" asked Laurel, though she could make a few guesses as to
the answer. "Well," he began slowly as they made their way up to the Head Table. "I'd
never been to anything of the like before. I had always been kept sheltered,
even before…that night." Laurel said nothing for a moment, but felt compelled to bring about a change
of topic. "When I was growing up, balls like this were a part of life. Not for
the ordinary person, but for the Raegans…." Instinctively, her chin lifted at
bit in retained pride. "It seemed as if the entire populace of the wizarding
culture in our area would do anything to please us. I always thought it was
because they liked and respected us." Laurel seemed to melt back into the person she normally was. "I thought
wrongly. They respected us, but out of fear, not admiration. They were afraid of
us, of our powers, though Father used his for good. It took one of those dances
to make me realize that." She shook her head sadly. Remus laid a hand on her arm. "Perhaps you could tell me about it during the
Feast. I'd love to hear the story." "Perhaps. But later, not now." Later that night, after the huge platters before them had been magically
filled with savory foods, Remus asked Laurel for the story. She consented, and
as she began talking, a misty sort of expression crossed her face, signaling her
descent into memory. ~~~ "Do you see Mother or Father, Chlo'?" asked Laurel, scanning the elegantly
dressed crowd for her parents. It felt strange to be calling them by such formal
names, but the girls were required to do so in public. Protocol demanded it, and
protocol was King. Instead of answering audibly, Chloe thought at her big sister. I don't
see them, but I feel Dad. Can't you? No…, answered Laurel, feeling slightly put out. Once again, she had been
reminded that Chloe was the more gifted of the girls. The eight-year-old tended
to forget that her ability was unusually strong, and took it for granted that
others could sense what she did. At close range, Laurel could read impressions
of a person's mind, but her telepathic connection with her sister was the only
bond strong enough to exchange precise words at great distances. The link was
probably fortified with Chloe's strength to make up for Laurel's weakness. Laurel slipped back into the empty hallway, looking out the picture windows
to the lightly falling snow. She sat on a bench with red velvet cushions,
watching the tiny flakes drift down and melt before they ever hit the ground.
Such was the fate of wintry weather in Alabama. She felt her thoughts begin to
wander, and she began setting up her mental defenses, so her supernaturally
talented sister would leave her be for a moment and not pry. Unfortunately, this had the exact opposite effect. Aware of the blocks being
erected around Laurel's mind, Chloe came to sit next to her. "What's wrong,
Laurel?" "Oh, nothing," said Laurel, none too convincingly. "It's snowing." "I see that," said Chloe patronizingly. She wanted to find out what was
bothering her sister, so she continued to pester her until she broke. "All right, all right! I'll tell, just stop with the questions already!" said
an exasperated Laurel five minutes and a million incessant queries later. "You
won't like my answer, however. I really don't know, myself. It's just…a
feeling. Chloe nodded, and Laurel knew she felt the same way. The sisters embraced
briefly for comfort, and then Laurel was reminded of their whole purpose of
being in the side hallway. Chloe either read her mind or had the same thought, for she turned. "Let's go
find Mother and Father." The girls crept to the curtain once more. Technically, they were too young to
be allowed into the actual ballroom, but surely… Laurel spotted a familiar face in the crowd. Hey, isn't that a guy who
works with Dad? she asked. Mr. Ima-taz or something like that? Chloe studied the face, silently placing the idea of helping them in his
mind. Imtiaz. Mr. Imtiaz, Laurel. Yes, I think so. I hope so. She did not
have to express the hope that he might be able to help them locate their
parents. When Mr. Imtiaz saw the two girls, a strange expression flickered across his
face. He came out into the hallway, and started asking them questions before
they could make their request of him. "Well, well, what do we have here? Aren't you two supposed to be off wreaking
havoc with the other children? Or will they not have you?" Laurel and Chloe were
identically shocked at the bitter tone of his voice. Were they in trouble? Laurel spoke up. "Um…we were looking for Father and Mother, sir…do you know-"
she trailed off nervously. "You didn't just call out mentally to your father and hope he heard you? You
actually deigned to step into the world of mere mortals to do work? Isn't this a
shock?" The Pakistani's face was contorted into mocking fury. "Your power is not
a gift, children. It is an oddity. No good can come of it. A quick look at your
family history shows that beyond a doubt. Your uncle turned to the Dark Side for
Grindelwald. Your father had to kill him himself, as I recall. Not exactly
strong family bonds, those. And your grandfather is a Nazi!" Laurel frowned in disgusted shock. She had never heard those stories before.
Surely they couldn't be true. As far as she knew, she had no uncle in her
wizarding family. Her Muggle grandfather was a German rocket scientist who
immigrated over with Werner von Braun, but that didn't make him a Nazi, did it?
Her mind was reeling from the overload, and Chloe was beginning to shake with
rage. Suddenly, though, a calming presence came over the scene. "Is there a
problem, Niranjan?" asked Alan Raegan, stepping out into the hallway. He was an
intimidating figure under normal circumstances, 6'9" with fine blonde hair and
piercinging blue eyes, and his arrival couldn't have been more perfectly
timed. Mr. Imtiaz's features suddenly softened into fearful respect. "Oh, nothing,
Alan. I just found your girls skulking where they had no business being, so I
was giving them a short lecture. I hope I did not step out of my bounds in doing
so." He backed away slowly, almost running into Liane Raegan as she came out of
the Grand Ballroom. He nodded to her as well, and quickly exited the scene. Liane tucked a lock of her curly brown hair behind her ear. "What happened,
girls? What did he say to you?" Laurel and Chloe said nothing, the memory still vivid in their minds, and
Alan grasped the vibe immediately. "He had no right to tell you such things!
What did he think he was doing? How dare he…the b-" he cut off mid-word for
decency's sake. Laurel bit her lip. "Is it true, then? What he said?" Chloe joined in timidly. "Did we really have an uncle? And did you…?" "And is Opa…?" Alan and Liane exchanged glances. "Girls, I think we have much to talk about.
There are things we had hoped to explain to you later, but it seems our careful
planning has gone down the drain. I think it's time you learn the true history
of your families. Reality is much darker than we'd like to acknowledge," said
their father. Liane left silently to go fetch their coats and thank their host. It was time
for the Raegan family to go home. When Laurel finished her tale, she blinked away moisture from her eyes. It
had been that night that her parents decided it would be safer to send them to
Hogwarts than to allow them to stay in the U.S. It was definitely one of the
earth-shaking times of her life. Things could have been so different… Remus didn't seem to know quite what to say, but was saved from the awkward
silence when Dumbledore rose to announce the end of the feast and the beginning
of the Ball. For most of the Ball, Laurel stayed off to the sides, doing her job and
supervising. It was rather uplifting to watch these teenagers enjoy life, with
barely a care otherwise. However, she did notice two figures by themselves, but
in opposite corners of the room. Harry Potter and young Ginny Weasley. Laurel
smiled to herself, recalling a very similar scene, but with James Potter and
Lily Evans. She watched, deciding not to interfere, though it would be easy to
simply place a suggestion on Harry's mind… Laurel shook away the thought. After learning how easy it was to fall to the
wrong side of magic, especially with her heritage, she did not want to take any
chances. She turned to walk to a different section of the Great Hall, but found
Remus standing there. "You look a bit flushed. Shall we go for a walk in the garden, perhaps?" he
asked kindly. Somehow, Laurel got the sense that he was planning something, but
couldn't be sure - Remus kept his thoughts close and hard to read. "I- I'd be glad to," she stammered, still trying to figure out the
significance of this. The two waked out onto the school lawn, which had been turned into a fairy
light-lit maze of hedges especially for the Winter Ball. Remus led the way
through the winding maze and Laurel got the faint impression that he knew
exactly where he was taking her. Soon, she was walking a bit behind Remus to give him the lead in learning the
maze, and she lost sight of him. Laurel reached out with her mind to find him,
but he was not in her sphere of influence any more. "Great,' she muttered. "He's deserted me. Something is wrong with this
picture…" "Laurel?!?" came a voice from behind her, a hauntingly familiar voice that
sent a chill down her spine. Laurel turned to see the speaker, and recognizing him, promptly punched him
in the face, catching him by surprise. Chapter Nine ~ Snog In the Moonlight - Laurel's Ray of Hope No one speaks- At the touch of your hand- It's a sin with no name- ~ "Dangerous Game" As soon as Laurel swung the punch, she regretted it. "Oh my god, Sirius! I'm
sor- Sirius?! What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed, the full
wave of shock hitting her. Sirius Black didn't respond. He stared at her and slowly rubbed his jaw where
her punch had landed. He spoke slowly, in disbelief, "I'd swear I'm seeing
ghosts…but last time I checked, ghosts don't have swings like that. Is it…really
you…Laurel…?" Laurel frowned in confusion, but then realization came to her - no one had
told Sirius she was still alive, just as Dumbledore had neglected to mention
Sirius' innocence. She laughed and put a hand on Sirius' face, covering the spot
she had struck. "I'm no ghost, Sirius. See? I'm real." There was a strangely
detached inflection to her voice as she spoke, wrestling with the sudden rush of
emotion she felt. Sirius reached up to place his hand over hers, grasping it tightly. "But-
but- Remus said- why didn't he- why didn't someone- why didn't you-" he
sputtered, uncharacteristically confused and hurt. Laurel stared into his pale eyes, noting with a touch of grief the haunted
look that would probably never leave. Fourteen years in hell certainly will
change you… Smiling sadly, she told Sirius the same story she had given
Remus. By the end of it, she felt more horrible and guilty than she had in
years. She knew she should have written Sirius as soon as she'd learned of his
innocence…but things had just kept coming up, and Laurel had feared that an owl
might compromise his hiding place. This chance meeting was obviously as much a shock to Sirius as it was to her.
She wondered… "Sirius, what are you doing here? In this garden, I mean. What
brought you to Hogwarts? Shouldn't you be elsewhere? Hiding?" Sirius looked at her strangely. "I should ask the same of you. Remus told me
to be here - said he had something important he needed to discuss; something
that couldn't wait. I guessed that it had to do with Harry, so I got here as
quickly as possible. Have you seen him?" Laurel's eyes narrowed. "As a matter of fact, I have. He asked if I would
like to go for a walk in the garden and once we got out here, he disappeared. I
think our friend has been up to something. Do you get the feeling we've been
had?" He smiled grimly, recovering slowly from his shock. "I believe we have. Moony
has become a bit more devious over the years." "That's for sure…" Laurel paused as a sudden terrible thought struck her.
"But what the hell do you think you're doing? Why aren't you in hiding? What if
some Ministry official stops by? What will you do then?" she questioned
angrily. Sirius didn't seem to know quite what to say. "Let's cross that bridge when
we come to it, Laurel. For now…I believe we have a lot to catch up on." The look in his crystalline blue eyes made all the feelings Laurel had been
successfully suppressing flare up beyond control. Love, lust, guilt, fear,
anger…so many opposing forces in the same small place. She felt as if she were
about to melt when Sirius placed a hand on her cheek, tilting her head
upwards… Reluctantly, Laurel pulled away from his touch. Trying to conceal her own
aching heart, she said, "This isn't right, Sirius." He eyed her warily, visibly hurt. "Why? You aren't…?" Laurel shook her head. "No. There's been no one else. Its just-" She sighed.
"What has it been? Fourteen years? Over a decade has passed since we last saw
each other. After that long, I know I've changed and I'm sure you're a different
person as well." Saying this was torturous, but it had to be done. Sirius blinked slowly. "Are you saying that it's…over?" "No! No… I'm saying that perhaps we should take some time to get to know each
other again. We might find that one or both of us has been changed irrevocably."
Laurel hoped beyond hope that this wasn't the case. After a moment of silence the old mischievous glint returned to Sirius'
haunted eyes, the one she remembered so fondly. "Well then, shall we begin by
introducing ourselves? How do you do? I'm Sirius Black, convicted murderer. And
you?" He stuck out his hand as if to offer a handshake. Laurel laughed happily, choking back tears of joy. To hear him joke like that
after so many years, even to hear his voice was like music to her heart. She
threw her arms around him, leaning her head against his chest. He returned her
embrace and she felt as if she could dissolve. It had been too long since she
had felt the press of his warm body to hers, the safety of his strong arms
around her. The buried desire swelled up within her until it was something
tangible. "Oh, Sirius…" "I know," he whispered into her hair, warm breath tickling her ear. "You're
right. We probably can't just pick up where we left off. We should start over,
and then when I can prove my innocence…" He left the unfinished sentence to her
imagination. For the first time since his arrest, Laurel felt comfortable enough to fully
let down her guard, to open herself again to her suppressed mental gift. She
didn't care that it probably meant she was radiating her happiness for a mile
around, it just mattered that she was finally reunited with the man she
loved. She opened her mouth to say something, but was stopped when a familiar
sensation tickled the back of her mind. She closed her eyes and felt to
be sure, finding her suspicions confirmed. "Harry's coming…you have to go…he
doesn't know…I can't tell him yet." She looked up into Sirius' eyes, afraid she
might find condemnation for her reluctance. It appeared that Sirius understood, however. He nodded. "Go, then. I'll be
back, but I want to talk to Harry first." He took her face in his hands once
again, and this time Laurel didn't resist. The sensation of his lips touching hers was like ice water to a parched
mouth. She drank in his taste thirstily and only then did Laurel realize how
long it had been since she last kissed anyone; how long her self-imposed vow of
celibacy had lasted. Adrenaline flooded her system and she longed for this
moment to last forever, but time is not kind to its' victims. When they separated moments later, neither said a word. They didn't need to -
their eyes spoke volumes if one knew how to read them. With one last wistfully
crooked smile, Sirius morphed into the large black dog, Padfoot. Laurel started to bend down to Padfoot's level, but stopped when she sensed
two presences round the maze's corner. She turned to see a visibly startled
Harry hand in hand with an equally confused Ginny Weasley. "Professor Raegan! Snuffles!" said Harry immediately, dropping Ginny's hand
in surprise. Laurel arched an eyebrow. "You know this dog then, Mr. Potter?" "No…yes…no…well, sorta. He's…erm…a stray from town." Harry was obviously
uncomfortable with the whole situation. So was Laurel, but she was a bit more
practiced at putting up a successful façade. "Really now? Up here begging for scraps, I suppose." Laurel heard Padfoot
growl softly behind her and for one fleeting moment she felt compelled to
confess all to Harry. Suppressing the urge, she continued, "I suggest you take
him back to wherever it is that he belongs, Mr. Potter. Miss Weasley, why don't
you come with me? You two can continue your little tryst later." The teenagers' faces turned as red as Ginny's hair, but Harry also looked
slightly relieved. His expression turned to one of mortification, however, when
Laurel leaned over to scratch Padfoot lightly behind the ears before heading
back to the castle, Ginny trailing along silently. Not surprisingly, Padfoot's
fur had the same soft, floofy quality as Sirius' hair, and it only compounded
the pain she felt as she walked away from the first time she'd felt whole in
years. Laurel left Ginny just outside the front doors and continued on to the Great
Hall. Remus was nowhere in sight; she would be sure to have a close chat with
him tomorrow. She made her way over to the refreshment table, where Dumbledore
stood observing the spectacle of the dance. When she walked up, he said, "Enjoying yourself, Laurel? A worthwhile night?"
The twinkle in his eyes told her that he knew exactly what had happened. Laurel allowed a true smile to break through the mask of pleasant apathy.
"Yes, Professor. Absolutely splendid."
In my heart I had hope Visions filled my head I can't do anything without
you It doesn't mean
anything ~ "Here With Me" Sirius stayed near Hogsmeade for about a month, so he and Laurel were able to
visit on weekends when he wasn’t talking with. At the end of January, however,
Dumbledore advised him to move on, lessening his chances of getting caught.
Sadly, Laurel and Sirius bade farewell, not knowing when they’d meet again. Over the next few months, Laurel fell back into her normal teaching routine.
On the last Wednesday before Easter Break, Laurel was lecturing her final class
of the day, Hufflepuff fourth years, on vampires. "According to Muggle folklore, the Grecian Island of Santorini is the most
heavily vampire-infested place in the world. Though this isn’t quite the truth
anymore, it used to be, and is yet another example of how careless wizarding
kind has been in the past." One of the students raised his hand. "Professor Raegan, is it true that your
appearance is a sign that you will become a vampire?" Laurel thought for a moment. "Well, Mr. Damion, it is said, but not
confirmed, that certain traits such as red hair and blue eyes predispose you
towards vampirism. No existing vampire has said that they actively seek out
red-haired, blue-eyed individuals to pass the Dark Gift on to, but there is a
possibility that it is entirely subconscious. So no one really knows if your
appearance foretells your fate. Yes, Miss Monet?" The next child posed her question. "How were vampires created originally?
Where did they come from?" Laurel groaned inwardly. She appreciated the students’ inquisitiveness, but
she had been answering their questions for the better part of the class. Her
prepared lecture was nowhere near finished, thanks to all the sidetrack
discussions. "That is something even vampires themselves aren’t sure about. For
as long as man or immortal can remember, there have always been the undead. "One legend goes back to the time of pre-ancient Egypt, when the gods walked
the earth and mythology was lived out. The god Osiris was killed by his brother
and then brought back to life. But because he had learned the mysteries of the
dead, he could not be fully restored to the living, and was granted rule of the
underworld. He and his wife Isis became the living rulers of the dead, or the
undead. It is said that-" Laurel was interrupted when the classroom door opened and an
irritable-looking man walked in. She was momentarily stunned. "Minister! To what do we owe this honor?" Fudge walked over to her and said, "I need to speak to you in private,
Professor Raegan." "Certainly, Minister. Class ends in fifteen minutes, so if you’d like to meet
me in my office at that time, then perhaps we…" Laurel trailed off, seeing that
those terms were obviously unacceptable. "No, no…that won’t do. Surely you could dismiss class early for once. We
should talk immediately." Realizing she had no choice, Laurel began wondering what Fudge wanted. "I
suppose so. Class, you are dismissed, but you are to go directly to your Common
Room and nowhere else. Your homework is to write an essay on the effectiveness
of the traditional wards against vampires, to be handed in the next time I see
you." As the students gathered their things, one smaller girl asked, "Professor,
how long should the essay be?" Laurel smiled, having expected such a question from the Hufflepuffs. "I would
like more than a single paragraph, but I’m not looking for a term paper, either.
Use your own judgment. Have a good day!" Once all the fourth years had shuffled out of the room, Laurel turned to
Fudge. "All right, Minister. What is it you want?" Fudge shook his head. "Not here." He motioned to the door. "Follow me,
Professor." He strode to the door and quickly glanced around the corridor before
calling out, "Come, come, Professor! Quickly!" Laurel felt a quiver of nervousness. "What precisely is going on?" she asked,
walking over to where Fudge stood. "Minister, care to tell me?" "All will be revealed in due time. Now, follow me." He began to walk briskly
in the direction of the dungeons. Sighing, Laurel followed, a feeling of deep
apprehension growing in her chest. After several minutes of walking, Fudge
stopped before a large portrait of a dog-headed paladin outside a dire-looking
castle. "Password?" it growled in a gravelly voice. "Stigma," said Fudge in an impatient tone. The painting swung forward,
revealing a small, dimly lit room with only two chairs, a table, and a small
candelabra blazing light over the room’s contents. "I never knew this was here…" Laurel said quietly. "You never needed to know this was here," Fudge replied sharply. "Inside.
Quickly." Laurel did as she was told. Fudge followed after her, shutting the
picture hole behind him. "Minister, what’s all this about?" inquired Laurel apprehensively. "Tell me,
or I’ll be forced to leave." She moved towards the portrait hole, but Fudge held
up a hand and gestured purposefully to one of the chairs. "Sit down, Professor." Laurel sat and clasped her hands on the table. Fudge let loose a sigh.
"Professor Raegan, the Ministry has received word that Sirius Black had been
spotted in the Hogwarts vicinity several months ago." "Oh?" Laurel said in a surprised tone. "How could he have? It hardly seems
possible, especially after the similar incident concerning his escape two years
ago. I wouldn't have thought he would return to the site of his
almost-capture." "Possible or not, it’s been confirmed," Fudge said gruffly. "Sirius Black
was here." He shifted uncomfortably. "I have been authorized to question
those who might’ve been involved-" "-And you think I had something to do with it?" Laurel finished. "I assure
you that I hold absolutely no loyalty for Black. He destroyed what little life I
had left when he turned traitor and for that I owe him nothing but revenge. He
deserves whatever fate awaits him ." A pang shot through her heart. It hurt to
tell such a lie, even if she felt she had to. Fudge eyed her dubiously. “And then? If he came to you seeking
help, what would you do?” “I…I don’t know,” Laurel said slowly, trying to keep her story from falling
through. “I suppose I would either try to detain him or find out where
he’s hiding, and then alert the proper authorities.” Fudge nodded but continued questioning. “If he told you that he was
unfairly convicted, what would you say to that?” Laurel’s blue eyes flashed angrily at the Minister. “Didn’t we go over
this a long time ago? Did I not establish fourteen years ago that Black
betrayed me and that I believe he deserves the fate that awaits him? Were
you not satisfied then?” Fudge clearly would not be moved. "I must know the truth, whether you like it
or not. I hope you cooperate." "My word isn’t enough for you?" Laurel questioned. "Not in this case, Professor. As I said, please cooperate." He fumbled around
in his robes for a second and came up with a small, crystal vial of completely
clear liquid. Oh no…Laurel thought with dread, Not Veritaserum. Anything but
Veritaserum. She gripped the table edge with nervousness, her knuckles
turning white. "If you truly have been telling the truth, Professor, then you have nothing
to fear. This is only a way of confirming what you have already stated. Now, if
you please-" He let three drops of Veritaserum fall into a small spoon he had
previously taken from his pocket, "Drink these, Professor." Laurel took the small utensil and studied it with fear. What can I
do…? I suppose I can block it off…I hope it works. Laurel closed her
eyes and concentrated for a moment, recalling all incidents occurring in the
past year in regards to Sirius. Then she created a mental block, a shield that
had protected her from such interrogation in the past. Grinning, Laurel opened
her eyes and raised the spoon in a light toast. "Tell all the truth but tell it
slant," she said lightly, and downed the entire spoonful in one gulp. Immediately, her head began to spin. Laurel put the spoon down shakily and
closed her eyes. She had been questioned under Veritaserum before - and the
effects were far from pleasant. She put all her strength into maintaining the
barrier and finally, Fudge asked a question. His voice was deep and distorted as
a result of the Veritaserum, but still decipherable. "Whaaaatttttt…issssssss…yooooouurr…naaaaaameeee?" "Laurel Elizabeth Raegan." "Wheeeeereeee…aaaaaaaare…yoooouuuu?" "In Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry." "Whaaaatttttt…issssssss…yooooouurr…professssssionnnnn?" "I’m the Defense Against The Dark Arts Professor." "Dooooooo…yoooouuuu…knoooowww…Siiriusssss…Blaaack?" "I thought so…a long time ago." "Haaaaavvve…yoooouuuu…seeeeeeenn…himmmmm…reeecentlyyyy?" Laurel felt a horrible jolt in her mind, as if something was trying to break
the barrier down with all its might. Still, she suppressed the urge to cry out
and answered the question. "No." "Haaaaaaveee…yoooooouuuuu…everrrrrr…wooorkkkkeddd…foooorr…Lord…Voooollllldemoorttt?" "No." "Haaaaaveee…yoooouuuu…everrrrrr…killlledddddd…-" Fudge was cut off when the portrait door swung open. "CORNELIUS!!! STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!!!" Laurel became aware of another person’s presence, but whose was uncertain.
The Veritaserum was doing its job flawlessly. "Finite Incantatem," she heard a voice whisper. Immediately, the
Veritaserum’s effects melted away, leaving Laurel with an overwhelming sense of
nausea. She opened her eyes and found herself staring into the face of Albus
Dumbledore. "Professor…" she said slowly, "What’s going on…?" Dumbledore whirled around to face Fudge. "I told you to leave her be! You
completely defied my wishes and used Veritaserum! I distinctly remember telling
you not to do that!!! Minister of Magic or not, you have no right to go around
interrogating the teachers here!" "It’s none of your affair, Albus!" Fudge shouted back. "In any case, I have
what I needed. The Ministry will be quite upset about your resistance, Albus!
You are walking on thin ice and do not be surprised if you receive an owl of
dismissal. Good day to you, Headmaster." With that, he whirled around and strode
off down the hall. Dumbledore’s blue eyes narrowed. He turned around to tend to Laurel, but she
was already sitting straight up, eyes wide with shock. "What did he mean, ‘an
owl of dismissal?’ He can’t mean…" Dumbledore shook his head. "No, Cornelius is often brash in his words. I must
apologize for this ordeal…I had asked him to delay questioning until I could
assist him. Impatient and obstinate as he is, he apparently stormed off to do it
himself. I also asked him to not use Veritaserum, but apparently he defied that
request as well." Laurel got shakily to her feet. "I don’t think I told him about Sirius…That’s
who he questioned me about. I blocked it away." Dumbledore smiled. "The Raegan family charm works again." His expression
turned grave. "Laurel…there’s something that I have just been informed
of…something of drastic importance of which I think you need to be aware." Laurel felt a pang of fear. "What is it, Professor?" Dumbledore let out a heavy sigh. "Laurel…Sirius has been captured…by the
Death Eaters."
Title: The Broken Mirror
Contact Gaia: rogueturtle822@juno.com
Spoilers: Everything up to OotP
Category: Drama/Romance/Angst
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Laurel Raegan is an old friend of the Mauraders, presumed dead for over
ten years. But when it is discovered that she is still alive, what does this
mean to those who mean the most to her? The ones who always loved her?
Prologue
To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them. To die-to sleep-
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to…
(William Shakespeare's Hamlet, Act III, Scene I, lines 56-63) August 22, 1985
Dear Remus,
The past is
the past, don't regret it,
Time to realize
I need to walk on the wire just
to catch my breath,
I don't know how or where but I'm goin'
It's all that
I have left…
(Marietta)
And it chills to the bone
Will
anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know
I'm scared and
I'm alone
I'm ashamed and I need for you to know
And you
can't take back what you've taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near
me
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but
I can't look back…
(Plumb)
Laurel stood in the Great Hall, which was all decked out for the
Christmas season - the Winter Ball of her seventh year. She scanned the room for
her friends.
How we used to be?
Feeling together,
believing whatever
My love has said to me.
Both of us were
dreamers,
Young love in the sun,
Felt like my savior, my spirit I gave
ya,
We'd only just begun.
Hasta mañana, Always be mine…
Everlasting, like the
sun.
Live forever, for the moment,
Ever searching for the one…
~~~
That's so unreal you
believe that it's true!
A dance of death out of a mystery tale-
The
frightened princess doesn’t know what to do!
Will the ghosts go away? Will
she will them to stay?
Either way, there's no way to win!
All I know is
I'm lost and I'm counting the cost-
My emotions are in a spin!
I don't
know who to blame-
It's crime and a shame-
But it's true all the
same-
It's a dangerous game!
(Jekyll and Hyde)
Laurel and James had just emerged onto the Platform, ready to begin
their sixth year. The Ministry had called Mr. Potter into work early so they had
all bade farewell outside King's Cross Station.
~~~
Torn by
this pain, I paint your name in sound
And the girl of the dawn with eyes of
blue and angel wings
The songs of the season are her only crown…
And parted deep in the
night.
Broken sword, and shield,
And tears that never fall
But run
through the heart,
Washed away by the darkest waters
The world is peaceful
and still.
(Taken from Xenogears OST.)
The mass of eleven-year-olds had slowly grown smaller as each was
Sorted into their proper House. Laurel watched anxiously as first Sirius, then
Peter, and then James were Sorted. Sirius and James became new Gryffindors,
while Peter, with a longing look to the Gryffindor table, took his place with
the Ravenclaws.
~~~
It will reveal
All you’ve become,
All
that you feel
Destiny knows
What has to be
You'll pay the
price-
Nothing is free!
(as reported by
Rei Shizuka Kasen)
And see my tears run down the
windowpane
I sit and watch the sky
And I can hear it breathe a sigh
I
think of him, how we were
And when I think of him, I
remember
Remember…
I can see where my heart longs to be
In his
eyes
I see a gentle glow
And that's where I'll be safe, I know
Safe in
his arms, close to his heart
But I don't know quite where to start…
By
looking in his eyes, will I see beyond the sorrow that I feel?
Will his eyes
reveal to me promises or lies?
But he can't conceal from me the love in his
eyes!
(Taken from the Jekyll and Hyde
Broadway Musical)
"You need to return to the castle immediately, Miss Raegan.
There has been a problem…"
~~~
In the cold light of day-
It's
society's mask,
It's society's way,
And the truth is
That it's all a
façade!
'Till the nighttime
appears,
And what's hiding inside,
Behind all of our fears,
Is our true
self,
Locked inside the façade!
(Taken from the Jekyll and Hyde Broadway
Musical)
Or the moment
of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you
bleed just to know you're alive.
'Cause I don't think
that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you
to know who I am.
Taken from Dizzy Up
the Girl
Ten-year-old Laurel peeked out through the curtains that led into
the Grand Ballroom. A girl who looked to be simply a smaller, brown haired
version of Laurel giggled as she stuck her head out as well.
~~~
Not one word-
But what words are in our
eyes
Silence speaks-
Loud and clear-
All the words we (don't) want to
hear!
At the sound of your voice-
At
the moment your eyes meet mine-
I am losing my mind-
I am losing
control-
Fighting feelings I can't define!
No remorse and no shame-
Fire,
fury, and flame!
'Cos the Devil's to blame!
And the angels
proclaim
It's dangerous game!
Taken from the Jekyll and Hyde
Broadway musical
Built on
dreams I'll never know
Answers to love left behind
I felt
so trapped instead but
Trapped didn't seem so bad
'Cause you were
here
You give me strength to do anything
I can't be everything I try
to
You saved me from the everything
I couldn't be
Without you here with me
'Cause after all is said and done
I
still need you here with me
Performed by
Plumb
