One of you -- I have no idea whom -- but one of you has been giving out my ICQ number like those cheap sweets the shopping center Santas throw to the hordes of rabid kids. Whoever you are, know that you are responsible for the following ICQ dialogue. I'll be the first to admit I'm not the nicest of guys, nor one with a lot of patience, but some things... >.<"

The stuff I added later is in <these bracket thingies>.
Stuff that happened is in ---this kinda thingie---

XXXXXXXXX : hi
<I didn't feel good about this. Anyway, I thought it might be someone from any of the forums I run around or mod in, so best be friendly...>
yiiiiiii: hihi ^^
alice: u know me?
<Not good. Not good at all. Well, there are worse pick-up lines...>
yiiiiiii: ...sorry, even if i do, i don't remember an alice...
alice: ahha me too. so mind to introduce again?
yiiiiiii: ...again?
alice: yup
yiiiiiii: ...your icq number is new to me...
alice: oic....... then introduce first

<I don't get it. I really don't get it. Her idea of "introduce" is commonly interpreted as "asl", which is the most universally acceptable way of querying a person as to their age, gender, and location. (I heard SETI broadcasts these three letters repeatedly into outer space)

What I don't get is, my ICQ profile contains at least 67% of these three bits of info. Maybe it's a tradition or something.

I'd usually say "RTFM" sometime about now, but I'd have to waste precious seconds of my life explaining "the".>

yiiiiiii: someone sent you my number?
alice: forgotten
<Yeah. I believe you. Totally.>

yiiiiiii: ...should be, cos there isn't even a bit of info about me on icq...
alice: ok
yiiiiiii: so we'll start by asking who sent you my number, hmm? ^^
alice: haha
if i can remember i'll just go ahead n tell u just now
yiiiiiii: try to remember?

yiiiiiii(18:09 PM) :
cos someone's head will roll, i'm just not so sure whose...
<Little would I know how right I was...>

alice(18:10 PM) :
i'm trying so hard.........
really sorry
<Straining her brain cell(s) to the max for anywhere between 1-119 seconds, she lamented her plight with a row of dots.>

yiiiiiii: no problem ^^
alice:  so asl plz
yiiiiiii: so, what school?
yiiiiiii: college?
alice: u answer 1st
yiiiiiii: ...well, i asked first ^^
yiiiiiii: ...
alice: i ask ur asl 1st
<It's people like these that make me question my maturity. The only silver lining in this cloud is that I have no doubts about theirs.>

yiiiiiii: well....ok
yiiiiiii: since you know it anyway
yiiiiiii: 18/m/aargh my fingers are burning
<In case you hadn't noticed, I hate asls>
alice: wat?
alice: wat's aargh?
<Words defy me.>
<Unsuitable jobs for this girl: doctor, nurse, chiropractor, paramedic etc:
"Hold still."
"AARGH!"
"wat's aargh?">

--- I have a conscience. It forbids me from posting the stuff which transpired at this point, for fear of numbing your brains to death. ---

yiiiiiii: so, school? ^^;;
alice: AIMST
yiiiiiii: AIMST?
alice: my school
<If I could do anime sweatdrops, this one would easily fill my bath.>
yiiiiiii: i know, but i have no idea what it stands for
yiiiiiii: AIM? ST?
<At this point, I was willing to bet my left arm that ST stood for School for 'Tards>
alice: asian institute medicine. science and technology
<Probably as a cadaver.>
yiiiiiii: ...where is that?

--- Having ascertained that she was in another state and so would not track down my IP and murder me with an ice pick at night (without some extensive travelling anyway ^^;;), I felt warm relief welling up in my heart... ---

alice : wat name?
yiiiiiii: i don't give names ^^
yiiiiiii : you know why?
alice: dun know
yiiiiiii : because you knowing my name is completely pointless
alice: haha ok
yiiiiiii: ...
alice: ...
yiiiiiii (18:23 PM) : .....

---There was a merciful silence for several minutes, the best moments I experienced so far in the chat. ---

alice(18:29) : hi
yiiiiiii(18:29) : hello
yiiiiiii(18:29 PM) : i have a short term memory, who might you be? ^^
<If she correctly interprets this as a joke, as indicated by the ^^, or the general context of the thing, I'll give her a chance>
alice(18:30 PM) :
18 fm pg
and u?

---The Authorize thingie was sent to me sometime here. And people wonder why I'm on Authorize. ---
 

Ok. Thanks for reading. So, if YOU are the one who engineered all this, feel free to wet your pants. I'm not picky when making friends -- is IQ>0 too high a requirement?