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July 21 2003

Okay, so today the site wont be open, didn't have time last night to wrap anything up. argh. My dad forgot about me and left me at church, so I had to wait for an hour for a friend to show up. I was crammed in the sweet mustang with 4 other people, cramped yes, smooth indeed. Anyway, somehow gasoline was soaked into these shorts of my dads, he leaves them in the bathroom and the smell drifts over to my room (were I am fumming over being forgottne about) and it leaves me with this splitting headache. I was so pissed over being left at church and forgoten about, I guess when I asked mom for money (after I dragged myself away from that smell) my tone wasn't very kind. So I got yelled at...okay. Forgotten about, poisoned, and yelled at. Good times.

So I went to wal-mart to get ice-cream...okay okay, I went just to see Joey. But I needed a reason. I guess it wasn't the best idea, I know I looked awful, my head was poundiong, I was ready to kill this old woman in front of me, and then he sweeps past. Gives me an odd look because I'm obviuously upset about something, and massaging my temples, holding this pint of chocolate ice-cream. Must have made a sight!

July 20 2003

Yes! I am back! Got my computer up and running again! Whoo yeah! OKay, down to business, I should be able to get all the poems and stuff up here tonight, then I can open the site tomorrow.

In other news, saw Joey again yesterday, aww, he is just so cute, that is, when I am over being mad at him. Can't stay mad long though...he's my Joey, will be forever, even if he doesn't realize it...hah!

July 18 2003

I'm just sitting here, listening to N*sync of all people. -sigh- sometimes it seems like I'm going to die without Joey, that would be right now. But later, I'm going to be okay, then I'll be back to being depressed. I can't take this house anymore, if dad says one more fucking thing about a divorce in front of Jim, I'll hit him in the face. I don't care if my parents divorce, I would rather they not, but then I am also almost 16. I can handle these things a bit better than my 10 year old brother. He gets scared, and it shouldn't be that way.

Lauren is the only other person I have told about my situation at home, I don't know if I want to tell Chris, because I am not so sure he really cares about me at all. And of course I am completely without Joey. Well, almost completely I can go to Wal-Mart and catch a glimpse of him. But that's sick, and even then, when he sees me, he dodges me. Avoids me. Hides. Ass-hole.