WARNING: This is a slash story, which means it contains male/male erotic content involving consenting adults. If you're not of legal age or are offended by such material, please go find something else to read.

Title: Turn-About
Author: JayKay
E-Mail: remembrall@remembrall.slashcity.net
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Prisoner of Azkaban: The missing scene. Why Remus turned in his resignation that morning but wasn't seen packing to leave until that afternoon.
Warnings: starts off as non-con
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter related characters and concepts are copyrighted by JKR and WB. This is for non-profit, entertainment purposes only.

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"I trust you're pleased with your morning's work."

Snape glanced up, instinctively turning his head towards the sound of the voice addressing him, only to see Lupin standing in the doorway of his office. No, not even standing - leaning against the doorframe in an oh-so casual manner, his arms folded across his chest. Gone was the expression of placid calm, replaced by a stern, set look that seemed out of place on the werewolf's usually benign face.

Snape placed his quill on the desk and leaned back in his chair, not bothering to squelch the triumphant smirk curling the corners of his mouth. "As a matter of fact, I am. Tomorrow this time, the school will be flooded with letters from irate parents, demanding your immediate dismissal on the grounds that they do not want their precious spawn to be taught by a dangerous, dark creature."

"Oh, I won't be sacked," Lupin replied, pushing himself away from the doorframe.

Snape's smirk froze, then melted at the edges slightly. "And what makes you so certain of that? Do you really think even Albus-"

"I won't be sacked," Lupin interrupted tersely, "because I've already resigned." He closed the office door behind himself and locked it, and Snape eyed him warily, his fingers gliding stealthily to his wand. "Thus I came to thank you in person."

"Thank me for what?" Snape bestowed his best 'you must be deranged' look on the man.

A feral light shone in Lupin's blue-green eyes as he prowled across the room, a sharp reminder that he had been overtaken by the beast just the night before. With the moon's pull still strong, it lurked near the surface, despite his haggard, almost frail appearance. Lupin stopped directly in front of Snape's desk and braced both hands on it, not to hold himself upright, but to lean across it, fixing Snape with a piercing stare. Snape stared back, meeting and holding his gaze; he watched as Lupin's eyes frosted over, turning to icy-blue, but he refused to back down, refused to be intimidated by infantile displays of bravado.

"For costing me the only job I have managed to get and hold during my entire adult life." His voice was as cold as his eyes, and deceptively calm. "For returning me to the life of poverty I was living before Albus threw me a lifeline. For spreading my secret within these walls, thus ensuring that it will spread even farther, ruining any hope I might have had of something remotely resembling a normal, if somewhat impoverished, life. For making me even more of an outcast than I already was. For all that and more, I thank you."

"Oh, do spare me the melodramatics, Lupin," Snape scoffed as he pushed his chair back and rose smoothly to his feet, leaning on his side of the desk, mirroring Lupin's aggressive stance. "You lied to everyone here, even Albus. You deceived everyone, trying to make us all think you are harmless, but I saw through it!" He clenched his fist and banged it on the desk. "I knew you were hiding something! You knew all along that Black is an Animagus, and you never said a word! You could have helped him been found and taken back into custody, but no - even after all these years, you still had to protect him, whether he deserved it or not!"

"I wasn't protecting him, I was protecting myself!" Lupin shot back, and Snape stared at him, more than a little stunned by that unexpected admission. "Oh, that never occurred to you, did it?" Lupin's expression was one of grim amusement. "That a Gryffindor might have a less than altruistic motive for anything. Try living as I have for the past twelve years and see how noble you feel."

Lupin shook his head. "It was a mistake. A stupid, selfish mistake, and I'm paying for it now, but after all my lies of omission this year, I'm through hiding the truth, and the truth is, I wasn't thinking of Sirius when I didn't tell Albus what I knew about him. I was thinking of myself and how I didn't want to admit I had lied to and betrayed Albus' trust when he had done so much for me, then and now. I couldn't bear to disappoint him when he was the only one to trust me, the only one to give me a chance despite what I am." He laughed, an empty, bitter sound. "It happened anyway. I should have been honest from the start. Let that be a lesson to me."

"I'm not interesting in your sanctimonious moralizing, Lupin. You got what you deserved."

Lupin narrowed his eyes, a dangerous glitter in the icy depths, and when he spoke, his usually calm, husky voice dropped to a tight, low growl. "Yes, thanks to our very own dispenser of justice. Now it's my turn. You fucked me over, Snape. It's only fair I repay the favour."

Snape's body froze, but his mind still raced, trying to make sense of Lupin's words. Surely he didn't mean what Snape thought he meant. It was unthinkable - entirely unlike Lupin. He wouldn't - he couldn't possibly -

But everyone has their limits, and Lupin appeared to have reached his. Snape had sometimes wondered what lay beyond the calm, polite front that Lupin presented to the world. Had, in fact, deliberately provoked Lupin to see if he could discern any cracks, but the walls had held with damnably annoying fortitude.

Now it seemed he was about to find out. He wasn't certain he really wanted to know, but it was too late to run; the wolf had him in its sight, and it wouldn't release its prey willingly. But Snape wasn't going to give in without a fight.

He grabbed his wand and aimed it at Lupin, but before he could utter the first syllable of a spell - any spell that might buy him enough time to reach the door - Lupin's hand shot out and clamped around his wrist, squeezing hard enough to wrench an inadvertent cry from Snape. He struggled to resist, but Lupin's fingers tightened inexorably until, with a frustrated gasp, he opened his hand and let the wand fall. It hit the desk and rolled off the side to the floor, continuing to roll until it bumped against the bookcase - well out of reach.

"No magic, Snape. Just you and me."

"That's hardly a fair fight," Snape retorted through panting breaths. Lupin still had not released his wrist, and he could feel the delicate bones beginning to grind against each other as Lupin continued to tighten his grasp.

"No, it isn't," Lupin agreed in a tone eerily reminiscent of his usual calm politeness. "But we're playing by your rules now. Fairness doesn't matter. Only what works."

Snape repressed a derisive snort. People thought they were so clever, trying to beat Slytherins at their own game. It was often stupid, sometimes suicidal, and it rarely ever worked.

Without releasing Snape's wrist, Lupin skirted around the desk until he was on Snape's side of it - his first mistake. As soon as Lupin was within reach, Snape threw a punch at his face, but Lupin's reflexes were too quick, and he caught Snape's fist in his hand, squeezing it until Snape was gasping with pain. With his attention focused on Snape's hands, Lupin didn't see the kick aimed at his left kneecap soon enough, and it was his turn to gasp, his leg buckling, but he didn't release his grip on Snape's hands.

It took a head-butt to accomplish that, but Snape's victory was short-lived. Lupin staggered back a step or two, reeling from the blow, but he recovered quickly - more quickly than Snape, who had discovered that while it was indeed an effective method for stunning one's opponent, it didn't do much for one's own equilibrium.

Before Snape could take advantage of his freedom, Lupin snarled and backhanded him, not pulling the blow in the slightest, and Snape stumbled and fell face-down across his desk, unable to hold back a sharp cry. His cheek throbbed - he would probably have a vivid bruise soon - and he had given himself a headache, but he refused to give up. He struggled and twisted as Lupin pinned his arms to the desk and bent over him, trying in vain to buck Lupin off, but fight as he would, Lupin had him where he wanted him.

Lupin shoved his hand beneath Snape's jacket and hooked his fingers in the waist of Snape's trousers, not bothering to reach around in front for the fastenings. It was clear that he meant to simply rip them off, and it was equally clear that nothing Snape could do would stop him. A low throb of panic began to pulse within Snape, his mind scrambling for options as he felt himself grow increasingly trapped. Magic was out of the question, physical force didn't work, but he could not allow this to happen. He could not allow Lupin to control him like this, to take whatever he wanted with no resistance.

Snape had lived the last fifteen years under the control of Voldemort and Dumbledore. His life had not been his own in all that time. His control over his students had been taken away the night before when Dumbledore humiliated him in front of Potter. This was all he had left - control over himself. Not his body. He had forsaken ownership of that when he allowed it to be branded so that it could answer the Dark Lord's summons whenever the Mark flared to life. No, all that remained to him was the little bit of himself that he had tucked safely away behind countless walls where there would still be something of his very own that no one could touch, that no one could take, that no one could control.

But if Lupin forced like this, it would be one more violation of his control, of his privacy, of himself. It might well end up being the final straw; he simply did not know if he could keep himself from shattering with the knowledge that everything had been taken from him, and there was still far too much at stake for him to fall apart now. Time enough to be self-indulgently emotional when his role was played out. There had to be a way -

"Please..." He forced the word out in a choked voice. "Please, not like this."

Lupin went still, and Snape held his breath, waiting. After what felt like an eternity, he felt Lupin's fingers ease out of his trousers, and he released a slow, quiet sigh of relief, slumping against the top of his desk. Gryffindor nobility strikes again.

"Not like this?" Lupin bent over him and growled in his ear. "Very well, then. But I'm not leaving without my pound of flesh."

Lupin wanted a quick fuck, fine, he'd get it. Snape was in control again, and he could sacrifice his body easily enough. All he would have to do was lie back, allow Lupin to grunt and sweat over him for... oh, five minutes ought to wrap things up, considering how long it had probably been since Lupin had had any sexual contact that involved another person. Lupin could leave feeling as if he had been vindicated, and Snape could get back to his end-of-year ingredients inventory.

Then he felt the weight of Lupin's body ease off his back, and he didn't resist when Lupin reached for him to help him up, then turned him around. He complied obediently when Lupin guided him to sit on the edge of his desk and barely suppressed a smirk when Lupin grasped the front of his jacket and yanked it hard, hard enough to send the tidy row of black buttons flying everywhere. He heard them skittering along the floor, the white buttons of his shirt beneath following soon after. It was all too predictable.

He was so wrapped up in a little internal bet as to whether Lupin would bother removing his shoes, or just drag his trousers and pants down to his ankles that the first - gentle - touch of lips against his skin startled him. An inadvertent gasp escaped him, and his eyes widened with surprise and alarm as Lupin nosed his collars aside and trailed warm, soft kisses along his neck.

That... was unexpected. Still, it was nothing he couldn't handle. He would let Lupin do whatever he wanted for as long it took, and perhaps he would even enjoy it a little. It had been a long time for him, too, and his sexual preferences were flexible. It would be fine. He would force a few moans, let Lupin bring him off if that was part of the werewolf's plan, and that would be that.

Lupin wormed his hands beneath Snape's jacket and shirt and flattened his palms against Snape's chest, running them slowly from his shoulders to his waist, fingers splayed as if trying to cover as much skin as possible; Snape had to force himself not to arch into the touch, but it had been years since anyone had touched him like that, and he was more touch-starved than he cared to admit, even to himself.

Lupin continued to stroke Snape's chest, occasionally sliding his hands around his waist to smooth them along his back as well, as he nipped at Snape's earlobe, then worried it before tracing every ridge and curve of Snape's ear with the tip of his tongue. Snape fought to control his breathing, determined not to give Lupin the satisfaction of seeing how the caresses were affecting him. Lupin may have turned this into a seduction, but he would not give in to it. Lupin had no power over him, nor ever would have.

Lupin eased the jacket and shirt over Snape's shoulders and down his arms, then dropped them carelessly on the floor, his attention focused entirely on Snape's neck as he mapped it out with kisses, nips, and licks, somehow finding all the little sensitive places that made Snape's breath catch in his throat and his own arousal stir to life. Nudging Snape's legs apart, Lupin moved to stand between them and wound both arms around Snape's waist, running his fingertips along the length of Snape's spine, evoking a shiver that Snape could just barely conceal.

He rested his hands on the desk by his side, moving his arms out of Lupin's way as Lupin began moving down his body, pausing to taste the hollow at the base of his throat before veering down towards one nipple. Lupin's hands were on Snape's legs, but they weren't at rest; they were gently kneading and stroking Snape's inner thighs, never drifting quite high enough to touch anyplace sensitive, for which Snape was grateful. It was bad enough that his libido had chosen this of all times to come out of hibernation, but his cock had been showing more and more interest in the proceedings as well ever since he had felt Lupin's teeth on his ear.

Closing his mouth over one nipple, Lupin circled it slowly with the tip of his tongue, teasing, than laved it to pebbled hardness before taking it in his teeth and tugging it, lightly at first but increasingly harder as Snape's control over his breathing slipped away, and it grew more shallow. It was all the response he was willing to give, and only then because he couldn't stop himself. His lungs were growing more desperate for air as his arousal heightened - a purely physical response, he reminded himself sternly.

Lupin trailed open-mouthed kisses from one nipple to the other, his hands sliding down Snape's stomach to unfasten his trousers; he treated Snape's other nipple to the same slow, thorough caresses, then knelt between Snape's legs and, wrapping his arms tightly around Snape's waist, rubbed his cheek against Snape's stomach, a low, possessive growl rising in his throat.

Snape closed his eyes, steeling himself against the bloom of arousal in the pit of his stomach that was urging him to respond to the nuzzling. How long had it been since he had felt anything like that, and how long would it be until he did again? He had taken care of his needs over the years, of course, but they were discrete, professional, paid transactions. Nuzzling had not been involved.

Curling his fingers around the edge of the desk, he gripped it until his knuckles turned white as Lupin freed his cock, biting back a groan at the feel of Lupin's tongue dragging along the underside. He would not look down. He could not look down. If he did, he would be tempted to bury his fingers in Lupin's hair and stroke the unkempt waves, silently encouraging Lupin's ministrations.

But Lupin seemed to be oblivious to Snape's inner struggle; by all appearances, he was focused on what he was doing and in no hurry whatsoever. He covered the head of Snape's cock with delicate licks, lapping away the fluid at the tip, then teasing the slit; he sucked his way along the underside, down to Snape's balls, nuzzling and mouthing them gently before returning to Snape's cock, drawing the head into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it, moaning softly, the sound vibrating against Snape's skin and making him even harder.

By the time Lupin finally took Snape's cock completely in his mouth, Snape's sallow cheeks were flushed, his breathing was little more than rapid, shallow panting, and his hips rocked up to meet Lupin's mouth despite his best efforts to stay still. He bit his lip to stifle a cry of pleasure as Lupin's mouth sheathed him, but he was unable to keep his body from going taut and quivering with need while Lupin tormented him with suction and continual stroking along the underside with his tongue.

His arousal was steadily climbing to a peak, which Lupin must have sensed, because he stopped and pulled his mouth away, then rose to his feet. Wrapping one arm around Snape's waist again, he rested his other hand on the back of Snape's head and leaned in as if to kiss him. A flare of new panic burst in his chest at the thought, and he pulled back, trying to avoid it, but Lupin tightened his hold and captured Snape's mouth. Snape's entire body went stiff as he tried to resist the intimate embrace, but Lupin held him fast and coaxed his lips apart, and Snape could taste himself on Lupin's tongue as Lupin slipped it into Snape's mouth and claimed him.

Snape squeezed his eyes shut, trying to think of it as an unwelcome invasion, but the gentle strokes of Lupin's tongue along his palate were not unwanted, as much as he wished he could say otherwise. He was all too aware of Lupin's taste, Lupin's scent, the feel of Lupin's breath on his skin - and it was all too good to resist. Before his mind could process what was happening, his body made the decision to surrender for him; he released his death grip on the desk and wrapped his arms around Lupin, clenching his fingers in Lupin's robes as the kiss continued, slow and thorough and deep.

Lupin nipped gently at his bottom lip, then returned for another slow, almost tender kiss, exploring Snape's mouth with leisurely thoroughness; he didn't break the kiss when he lowered Snape to lie down on the desk again and snugged his hips between Snape's legs, rocking against him, letting Snape feel his erection. He leaned over Snape, still kissing him with the deep hunger of a starving man at a banquet, and lifted Snape's right leg enough to remove Snape's shoe and sock, then did the same with Snape's left leg. Only then did he pull away from the kiss and slide both hands down Snape's body, hooking his fingers in the waistbands of both trousers and underpants, and Snape lifted his hips without being prompted, helping Lupin remove the impeding garments.

Reaching into his pocket, Lupin pulled out a small bottle and opened it, pouring a little of what it contained in his hand, and Snape caught the scent of lavender. Putting the bottle aside, he rearranged his robes, unfastened his trousers and freed his own cock, groaning softly as he coated it, preparing himself thoroughly. Snape lay back, his hands moving along the desktop, shifting papers around restlessly until Lupin grasped his hips and eased into him gradually, until he was buried deep within Snape, who cried out as Lupin entered him and arched his back off the desk, feeling tight and stretched and very filled. Lupin grasped both of Snape's hands and laced their fingers together palm-to-palm, resting them on the desk near Snape's shoulders, and Snape squeezed Lupin's hands tightly, holding on as if to a lifeline.

Without thinking about it, Snape wrapped his legs around Lupin's hips as Lupin began to move, moaning as he rocked with Lupin, meeting each thrust. Lupin kept a steady pace at first, pushing deep, but it wasn't long before he released one of Snape's hands and curled his fingers around Snape's cock, stroking it firmly, matching the rhythm of their bodies. Snape threw his head back and gasped at the first touch of Lupin's hand, his body reacting with a surge of arousal that let him know release was near. The pleasure-tension escalated, his body tightened, and he hurtled closer to the edge, almost there, almost --

He fell, screaming the whole way down.

Lupin pounded into Snape's limp, unresisting body a few more times before he followed, slamming into Snape one last time, gasping desperately as he spilled deep inside Snape, but otherwise making no sound. Snape's own breathing was harsh and laboured, and he felt heavy, as if the slightest motion would be a supreme effort to make.

Lupin eased out of him slowly, then backed away and pulled out his wand, performing a cleaning spell on himself, but not Snape, then put his wand away again. He tucked himself in and refastened his trousers, then straightened his robes and ran one hand through his hair, regarding Snape, who still lay wantonly sprawled on the desk, with a dispassionate gaze.

A ball of solid ice wall formed in Snape's stomach, and he sat up, hastily glancing around for something to cover himself with, but his clothes were all on the floor. There was nothing - he was laid bare.

Lupin continued to watch him for a too-long moment with that odd, almost empty expression, and as Snape watched, the calm mask settled into place again, and with polite smile, he turned and headed for the door, unlocking it and closing it behind himself with a quiet click that seemed to echo in the empty room.

It was gone. Snape had given it away. The last little bit of himself held in reserve was in Lupin's hands now. If he could have mourned the loss, he would have, but all his tears had dried up years ago, and all he could do was stare at the closed door, the memory of Lupin's touch lingering on his skin.