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WARNING: This is a slash story, which means it contains male/male erotic content involving consenting adults. If you're not of legal age or are offended by such material, please go find something else to read.

Title: Mask 3: Severus
By: JayKay
Email: eyre68@yahoo.com
Rated: G
Category: Drama/Angst
Summary: Results of a single moment lost.
Notes: This is not a happy!fic, and this
is the final story -- no sequels.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter related characters and concepts are copyrighted by JKR and Warner Brothers; this is for non-profit, entertainment purposes only.

"Why?"

To his credit, Remus did not pretend not to understand the question. He simply glanced over his shoulder, treating me to a glimpse of ever-guarded eyes that gave away nothing save he was tired.

"It's time," he said quietly and simply, without so much as a pause in his rhythmic transferal of books from his office shelf to a small, battered trunk.

I forced myself not to grind my teeth. So we were going to play that game, were we? Very well. I had wrung confessions out of the most recalcitrant, equivocating students of Slytherin House with my interrogations before, and I had no qualms about using my skills on him to find out exactly why he had resigned from Hogwarts yet again.

He had not told me he intended to resign, which was not a surprise; he had said precious little to me in the last few months beyond polite conversation at meals and when I delivered the potion. Thus it was a surprise when Albus announced at the banquet that Remus would not be back next year.

It was also a surprise to see the stunned hurt in Sirius' eyes when I glanced at him to see how he was taking the news of his friend's departure. He had not mentioned it to me, but I assumed Remus had asked him not to. Instead, the look of raw shock on his face told me that he had not known either.

"Why," I asked in my most patient tone, "is it time? Do you honestly expect me to believe that you have better prospects elsewhere?"

"I don't give a damn what you believe."

Another surprise. Remus was the calm one, the quiet one, the diplomat. I could not recall hearing such blunt words from him before.

"You didn't even warn Sirius. You let him hear the news along with everyone else at the banquet," I said accusingly. I had thought better of him than to treat the man who was supposed to be his best friend in such a way.

"And?"

The complete lack of emotion in his voice infuriated me, and I had to force myself not to grab him and shake him.

"And he deserves better than to have that kind of shock sprung on him without warning!"

He went completely still for a moment, the lines of his back tense. I thought I heard a low snarl, but when he turned to face me at last, his expression was impassive.

"Sorry."

"Is that all you have to say?" I asked coldly. "Sorry isn't good enough to make up for the hurt you caused him."

He shrugged at that, infuriating me even more. "It's all I have to offer."

It seemed as if I could see him fortifying the walls ever higher and wider even as we spoke, and all I could do was stand on the outside of his fortress, frustrated at the lack of any discernable chink.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" I demanded, my hands clenching into fists. I wanted to shake him, to strike him - anything to get some kind of reaction from him other than this cold apathy.

He folded his arms and stared at me, his lips thinned into a hard line. "I fail to see why where I go and what I do is any of your business - or his."

"He's your best friend. I thought that should have meant something, at the very least."

There it was - a flash of anger. The first real sign of emotion he had shown since our conversation began. Unlike my anger, which simmers and erupts like a volcano, his burns with an icy chill. His eyes were frozen as they bore into mine.

"Not anymore."

With that, he turned back to his books as if dismissing me, and I did erupt then, grabbing his shoulders and spinning him back around to face me.

"What the hell do you mean, not anymore?" I roared.

"He got what he wanted. He's happy. End of story. Nothing else matters." His voice was flat and cold, but he didn't attempt to wrench free of my grasp.

I stared at him as I processed his words, then the pieces fell into place, and I let my hands fall from his shoulders.

"I don't suppose there is anything either of us could say to convince you to reconsider."

A tiny, wry smile tilted one corner of his mouth. "Nothing in the realm of the possible."

My breath stilled in my lungs. It seemed as if time had rushed backwards, returning us to that moment in his office. Something - I wasn't entirely certain what - hung in the balance between us, and it lay with me to determine which way it fell.

"Are you so sure of that?" I forced the words out, hoping they were the right ones.

Blood roared in my ears, drowning out anything he might have said in response, but fortunately, he did not speak. He simply closed the distance between us and rested one hand at my waist, just as he had done that day so long ago. The other reached out to cup my cheek and draw me down.

His lips brushed lightly against mine, questioning their welcome. I wanted to part mine. I wanted to let our breath mingle and our tongues dance. But I thought of months spent in Sirius' arms, in his bed. Caught between the memory of Sirius' body and the warmth of Remus' mouth, I hesitated. In the space of that hesitation, Remus left me.

He didn't even have to leave the room for me to know he was already gone.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish packing."

I had thought he might write on occasion, but the summer is nearly over, and there has been no word of where he is, or what he is doing. Tonight, the full moon streams through the window in Sirius' bedroom. I move closer to him and nuzzle the pale skin on the back of his neck, making him stir a little in his sleep, but not enough to wake. I breathe in his scent and close my eyes to block out the silvery light, telling myself the distant sound in the night is nothing like a lone wolf's howl.

 

 

 

 -end-

 

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