WARNING: This is a slash story, which means it contains male/male erotic content involving consenting adults. If you're not of legal age or are offended by such material, please go find something else to read.

Title: Mask 2: Remus
By: JayKay
Email: eyre68@yahoo.com
Rated: G
Category: Drama/Angst
Summary: Reflections ona single moment.
Notes: This is not a happy!fic.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter related characters and concepts are copyrighted by JKR and Warner Brothers; this is for non-profit, entertainment purposes only.

Congratulations, my friend. Well done.

You saw what you wanted, and you took the necessary risk to get it.

I did not.

Thus I smiled and said I was happy for you when you told me that you and Severus are together, that you have been together for nearly a month.

I will not examine the timing of this closely. I am too old and tired to let myself dwell on this, after I have struggled all these years not to become embittered. I've experienced loss before; one more will not kill me.

Still... do not think I am unaware that this is the second time you have come between me and Severus. You shattered any chance we might have had when we were young with your 'prank', and now, suddenly, you have taken him as your lover.

How convenient that this occurred so hard upon the heels of your witnessing our moment.

Severus had come to my office and scolded me for returning to work too soon. There were people available to cover my classes for me, he informed me bluntly, which was a better idea than having me inconvenience everyone and alarm the students by collapsing in the middle of a lecture.

At first, I was angry with him for being a condescending ass, until I looked in his eyes and saw genuine concern. At that, my anger fled, and I teased him to show that I looked worse than I felt, asking if he intended to teach my classes in my stead and teach them about werewolves again, as well as offering to find another boggart, despite Mr Longbottom was no longer at Hogwarts to demonstrate the best way to banish it.

Our gazes locked, and I could tell by the indignant flare of his nose that he didn't quite appreciate my teasing. I simply looked up at him, tired, yes, but grateful that someone - particularly Severus - cared enough about my wellbeing to scold. And in that moment, something changed, some subtle shift occurred between us, and I found myself reaching out to him before I even realised I meant to do so. I moved closer, rested my hand at his waist, and by some miracle, he did not pull away.

Oh, no - far from it. He bent his head to kiss me just as I tilted mine up to be kissed. I was within scant centimeters of learning the taste of lips I had dreamt of since adolescence.

Then Sirius walked in.

The moment was lost, and somehow, I never managed to find Severus alone to recapture it. He was working, or we were in public, or Sirius was with him.

Now I know why.

I should have stepped forward and taken a chance when I had it. Too late now.

My pack was taken from me nearly twenty years ago. Since then, I have been a lone wolf.

I have no more hope of that ever changing.