ok I know that i should be very happy for all the things my parents have given me and that now that it's summer I should see them a lot but i hate coming to Colo!!! It' so boring and there's no one here that I know!! All my friends are 45 min. away not to mention they all have jobs!! And I know I sound whiney but it's not like my parents make it a nice place to stay here when they're always berating me about my spending habits and how I'm making them broke!! But it's not like I did it on purpose I mean I'm sorry I need a place to stay next fall!! I just got a call from Brandon he wants to throw a party for Young at his place but I already thought of that idea!! At least I know he didn't steal it cause I didn't tell anyone but it still makes me mad!! Anyways besides all that my life is a pretty big bore! I'm trying to start a Mary Kay business and i should've just said no!! but it could be a sorce of income until I get a job...or a big pain in the ass!! either way I'll have a backup....I still don't know what to do for a career..this is so frustrating and I'm regretting going to Kirkwood instead of Iowa....Iowa was sooo much fun!! but then again I didn't learn anything but I kinda wished I could've had fun all year!! I got so mad at Steve for never letting me drink or anything all semester and I felt like it was his fault that I didn't get to do anything even though it was me that kissed someone else but sometimes I wonder if we're still together because we both love the other one or because we've just been together for so long....it seems sometimes that he doesn't cause he never wants to kiss me or touch me anymore!! Sometimes I wonder if i just have bad breath and while he keeps getting cuter and cuter I keep getting worse!! and fatter!!! I'm 140!! Well like 136 but still close enough...I used to be 120 and I liked that weight and it's not even completely about weight it's about the actual inches I've gained too!!! Ok I need to stop obsessing because Steve hates it when I'm down on myself!! Hopefully everything will be ok next year!!