Updated ~ 04/004
Amy/IcePrincess/18/flutist/416/J.Langton`s student/With Kuni
I missed you so much, so much that I don`t know what to do. When you were about to leave I really wantedto find you, but I couldn`t. It may have been my fault. I should have realize it sooner... of how you feel. Yet I had no clue what`s been going on in your mind and was being so dumb while you were beside me. I`m sorry. I wish you can be beside me now, and till the rest of the time. But I guess it is nearly impossible. I have been been to places that we`ve been before. I knew from before that if I ever gone back to these places I would have tears in my eyes. Sometimes I think I can`t resist to see you again. But then..... it`s impossible. I`m really sorry. Although you`re never gonna get a chance to read this, I just want to say what`s in my heart and just want to let you know that, you`re the nicest friend that I`ve ever met. I really appreciate that I`ve met you............ I`m sorry......
Thoughts
March 12, 2003 - new page, nothing much here. too busy these days especially march break. I gotta go ottawa in a few days to do my flute audition >< omg i`m too nervous.. never tried playing in front of a couple of judges, and i was told that all audition judges are mean. gee, i still didn`t get enough practice ! had work the past few days, what a waste of time. who cares about money man ! but then.. gahhhh manager placed me on the schedule already! now i do`t even have time to do the hwk from school. demo ne.... ashita.. i can see my hunnie.. finally something good and he`s coming to ottawa with me to accompany me with piano. i can`t wait, and am also nervous. never had this kind of feeling before. anyways, enough said for now, ja.
March 23,2003
IT"S BEEN A WHILE...
Ottawa was cool. I was kinda imagining how it would be like to live there on my own IF they accept me. but i wouldn`t wanna do that. living alone is scary. oh yeah , the applications that i sent to western university seem to disappear or something cuz i got no reply from them at all!! and they ate my 50 bucks?!!!!!!anyways the audition went fine and the judges were actually nice !! good thing that kuni was with me thanks kuni-sama ! and thanks for coming here for 10 days kuni, these were the best days i ever had. `wayz.. i was kinda depressed these few days.. cuz of ppl in the school i guess. sigh, tomorrow is school again and i don`t wanna go back. not cuz of the classes, it`s cuz of the people.
Ever since last semester when manman,mandy, richard, and may left, it was lonely but that wasn`t a big part of the problem at first. when second semseter started, it`s not cuz of oh.. i don`t have anyone to stay with that`s why i chose to stay with this group of people that i knew for a long time or anything. i was nice to them ok.. at least i think i did. for ex, i saved some seats for them in the cafe, but what they did was they came to meafter i gathered all the chairs for them,(me thinking that the next thing they do is to sit down), and then grab the chairs that i saved for them and moved it to another table and sit down. how pathetic. and whenever someone says something, it`s interesting to hear and all, but when i started talking, they`re like "whatever". gahhh i don`t wanna go back to school. i wanna stay away from people(in school) now !!
Tuesday, April Fools
the test was okay, i didn`t have time to finish the last question and there`s this b part of a question that i didn`t do which ithought i would go back to it later. but the time was so limited. gosh, and i knew how to answer all of them. the second last question worths pretty much but then i rushed through it and didn`t explain it clearly. DAKARA, i think i am going to get a low mark again, sigh. school..... :( forget it !!! so busy ne.. lots of school work these days. been working like maddddd. and still got one assignment to go which I am handing it in 2 days late. Anyways, despite the stress from school, i got a new cell phone !! and changed my number. not a good thing cuz i swtiched from telus to rogers. and this phone, SUX like mad !! it`s totally useless. i thought the plan was pretty cheap but so what?!!! gosh i hate it and regret it. the reception is super bad and I can never recieve anything ! it`s onyl good for text messaginging. so please people, dont get this phone, it`s motorola c333. DON"T GET IT !! YOU`LL REGRET AND IT`LL TAKE OVER 2 YEARS OF YOUR LIFETIME !!
April 2nd, 2003:
lolololz ! this is the Haduri effect, I stilld on`t know how to add words or little cute pictures on it tho, no time to figure it out. anyways so yeah OK I still want to throw my phone and sars is kowai cuz I live right across the hospital. and u know what, the elementary school that shutted down is also the elementary school I used to go too. great ! hmm.. just saw mymark for world issues today. for the essay it was so so, and the final mark is low !! the teacher must have done some miscalculation cuz there`s no wayyy for it to be that low. not like i ever got any assignment that is that lowso there must be something going on. Western and McMaster finally replied me. I am looking forward for the Mac one but not the western one. I don`t wanna go, and it`s within a month. gee, I sent in the audition form like 2 months ago, and now they finally send me back a letter JUST BECAUSE I emailed them to complain. Now I don`t have enough time !! plus other school assignments and tests AND midterms next week !!!! OK, I`m dead.
To Kunitaka-kun: Your love tastes like roasted marshmellow ice cream located across royal conservatory of music. (March 23, 2003) ano ne..... anata chou kakkoi !! dakara people kept looking at you today !!! :*) It`s been almost 6 hours since you left, and I`ve gone crazy. It`s so diffcult, very diffcult, very painful that you are not with me. how can i live without you being around? It`ll be pointless. I miss you being around, walking around my home, finding stuff to cook for me. I miss the lunch times that we had together, where you would always cook and bring the food to my school just to spend time with me. Thanks for going everywhere with me, I`ve brought u to almost everywhere, you`re like the air i breath in everyday. My parents like u a lot, what did you do to them? put poison?? especially my dad, i`ve never see him being so nice to a person before. why you? why you? doshite?!!! I feel so lonely. Tomorrow I`ll be at school, despite struggling through the boring classes, I`ll be alone by myself at lunch, where you used to be waiting for me at the front door, hugging me tight. Tomorrow I`ll have to go home myself, where you used to spend a lot of time waiting for me to get off classes. Tomorrow I`ll be at work, where you usedto watch me working right in front of the store. Tomorrow I`ll be doing homework alone, where you used to help me out when Iget frustrated over things. Tomorrow morning, I might wakeup late, where you used to be knocking on my door to wake me up. And tonight, ima, I`m alone, thinking about you, where you used to be here beside me, telling me how much you love me. I really don`t know what I would do without you bein around. It`s like a torture. I knew i would be really sad once you are gone. But until today, I noticed that without you, there`s nothing more I can do. we`re both so busy, but please kuni, I trust in you, daisuki dakara.
To do list
-Practice all the major and minor scales (all natural, melodic,and harmonic) again and again -practice study#4 -practice 2nd movement of Godard`s Idydelle Opus 116. No.2 -catch up on calculus like mad -cleaning up my room and home -see Mrs. Langton - study for economics test -prepare for McMaster audition -do clipping file for world issues wow wow wow....a lot to do >< life is so busy that it makes me dizzy X__X
