//It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall. His body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backward through the ragged veil hanging from the arch...\\ 1: Remembering
I must have been falling for at least four days. I'm not really sure. When your falling down into an abyss, watches don't work. So I discarded mine and looked at it with some interest as it followed me down on my long journey. I was asleep when I finally hit the bottom. I didn't think that there would be a bottom though. But it was like Lewis Carroll's Alice In Wonderland and I was falling down the rabbit hole into some strange place, only *I* wasn't dreaming.
I can honestly say that I don't know when I woke up. I thought that once you were Stunned you needed to be Enervated... But I awoke all the same. Maybe it was the abyss that I was in. I don't know. And I awoke before I actually fell giving me enough time to say my silent goodbyes to the two people I loved most in the world, Harry and Remus. Harry and Remus. My thoughts dwelled on the goodtimes we shared. I'd miss them so much more than anyone would understand. And I wondered if they would miss me.
Of course they would, right?
I didn't dwell on that very long though. I had to think of the goodtimes. Like when I first saw Harry and held in my arms. When James told me that I was his godfather. The day he pointed at me and said, "Pa'foo'!" And the time Remus held him and the little boy, a year and a half old said, "Wuff!" We had all laughed. God, I wish I could relive those times.
I thought about the time I first met Remus. A shy boy. With mouse brown hair. So studious and reserved and quiet. But he had an air of elegance and mystery about him. In his amber eyes I saw the inner struggle. The one he so quietly went through. My brave Remus. He never complained about the transformations. He was so strong. I remembered the look of sheer terror in those amber eyes when I found him the forest, James right behind me. We had been out walking and heard him scream as he became human. But I also remembered the utter happiness and joy that made his eyes shine when we told him that we wouldn't turn him.
I thought about the time I first kissed Remus. It had been awkard at first. Both of us were unexpeirenced. Strange isn't it? I was a huge flirt but I never kissed anyone. And slowly our kiss deepened and became more passionate. I don't think I was ever happier than when I was with Remus and the Marauders. Hell, I was even really fond of Peter. He'd become like a younger brother to me, even though we were the same age. I still can't believe he did what he did.
I also remembered the time when we were in school and we had stumbled across the Mirror of Erised. Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. Remus figured it out. I show not your face but your hearts desire. I wondered what Peter saw in the mirror. Did he see himself powerful and respected and popular? I saw Remus and I. Living together, happy. With adopted children. And everyone of us was happy. And sucessful. I wasn't living in hell when I was home, with my family. In fact, my family was like a real family. But I caught on that that would never happen. But the thing that had shocked me was Remus and I. It was then that I realized it... I was in love with Remus Lupin.
Those were good memories and I thought they would be my last. So I cherished them. and so many more. Then something strange, or rather stranger, happened...
