60 Things Never to say to a Naked Guy
1. I've smoked fatter
joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just
cuddle?
5. You know they have
surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look
at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a
tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley
face on that?
10. It looks like a night
crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet
are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was
4" bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work
around it.
14. Is this a mild or a
spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch
worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I
squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash
headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with
you?
20. My 8-year-old brother
has one like that.
21. Let me go get my
tweezers.
22. How sweet, you
brought incense.
23. This explains your
car.
24. You must be a growing
boy.
25. Maybe if we water it,
it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a
toothpick.
27. Are you one of those
pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought
of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of
clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure
hunt!
31. I didn't know they
came that small.
32. Why is God punishing
you?
33. At least this won't
take long.
34. I never saw one like
that before.
35. What do you call
this?
36. But it still works,
right?
37. Damn, I hate
baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive
masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better
in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip
right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you
were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena
Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real
drunk first.
48. Is that an optical
illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the
ketchup for your French
fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you
have so many other
talents.
53. Does it come with an
air pump?
54. So this is why you're
supposed to judge people
on personality.
55. Where are the puppet
strings?
56. Your big gun is more
like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my
Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why
bother.
59. Is that a second
belly button?
60. Where's the rest of
it?