.. en after it all.. - - im still in'love. w/ u boy..
..wow.. long time no write yea?? hell yeah man!.. wtf?. haha i fergot i even had this.. i was jhuss reading over some of the entries i wrote.. en wow man.. that was over the summer.. wen me en marr were struggling.. :( .. succs... but now.. u guys as u can see.. its november.. november the 27th.. which means marr is gone... sucks.. REAL BAD.. cause ive never loved someone so much man.. realli.. the last night i was w/ him.. man.. it was so hard.. yall just have no idea how i felt man.. it felt like mai heart was crying.. en like.. when he had gave me the ring the other night.. i was so in'love.. b'c to see that i was mad over what had happened that night.. well.. it was kind of silly.. not then ofcourse.. but now.. god i miss him.. he wrot eme a couple days ago.. and man do i fuccin miss him.. en he called me like two nights ago.. i cannot explain in werds how much i miss him.. i love him soo much.. en ill do everithing en anithing fer him... since the beginning.. we grew .. ferst just boyfren material.. then i could see he'd make a good husband.. en now weir so serious about this engagment thing.. i kno weir both young..we.. especially me.. but i dunno if it will work wen he finally gets stationed.. i REALLY hope it does.. god man.. i cant even hold mai self from tearing.. i mean its cuz .. time changes people.. it seperates people.. and what makes me en marr so different from the rest of the people in the werld??.. i just need him rite now..
arite challs.. im outtttie..
i love you ramarr lynn davis..! .. :( hurri home please..

.. * ][ .. l i d d l e m i s s e s ..][ * ..
..hola yall..
dang.. long time no write in this bitch huh?!. haha yess yess i kno.. the last time i wrote in here.. i think i was like.. complainen' about me en marr's relationship.. en i was like enluv wid dominic.. yea well shit's changed.. haha..

but yea realli.. i havent been writing in here.. cuz i got mai xanga site.. u kno xanga.com/xoliddlemissEsox .. fa sho.. check that out.. fa those of yall who've been reading this bullshit..

anyways.. yea.. guys.. me en marr have been broken up fer a while now... we've been thru a lot of bullshiet.. en realli.. im gonna miss him wen he's gone.. i was jhuss thinkin bout that last nite... because.. me casandra her & her fren .. we went to go see tina's baby.. en gee.. en we were all thinkin bacc.. en talkin about stuff.. en how i didnt get to go to prom with him.. because u kno me.. i stayed in trouble.. en yea.. it was kinda funni.. en then like.. i was gettin tired en shiet.. so i put mai head down on tha table.. en it hit me.. me en marr have sum TIMES man!.. realli.. i love him a grip man.. en i feel bad that i put him thru alot.. but he does the same to me.. but we only try to do it to help wun another.. but it just doesnt werk yea?!.. yep.. but yea.. he only has like.. a while... he leaves in november... NOT KEW.. i already miss him.. en he's still here... its just shits not the same..
en like.. i would get bacc with him.. butttt... then me en dominic kinda got sumthin goin en shiet.. en eriwun thinks i left marr fer dominic.. en im tellin yall.. THASS NOT IT!.. i promise.. me en marr were REALLI haven problems.. plenty of yall kno that shit.. en like.. i wanna get bacc with marr.. because it seems so rite.. en i miss bein with him.. we made eachother so happy.. he's the only guy who can make me so happy en so fuccin MAD @ the same time u kno haha.. weird... en yea.. but yea. bacc to dominic.. yesterday was his birthday... he's always lewkin out.. he's sweet.. en fine as hell. haha.. thats mai buddie.. marr's so jealous of him.. haha.. mm yea.. feel bad that he feels that way... its cause im always with dominic.. but i always have fun with him too.. hmMm.. im jhuss a confused liddlemisses.. cause "* I CANT ESCAPE DHISS LUV DHAT IM FEELIN.. IM IN DA MIX IM EN LUV WID TWO MEN EN.. I DUN WUNNA LET NUNNA DEM GOOO!!"* hhaha.. yep.. but gea... im afraid dhat if i get bacc wid marr.. then dominics gonna jhuss stop it all.. stop the callin .. stop the chillen.. all dhat good stuff.. so i dunnO.. im confOozed! yes yes... well.. MmM whut have i bEen up to lately eh??..
letS sEe...
skeWl stArtEd bACc uP.. en yeA.. GOO JUNIORRS!!. yeS yeSs dhAsS me dAmnIt!.. fAsHO.. en uMM.. whuteLse..
thE paRtieS.. sMOken DriNken.. alL dhat gEwd stuFf.. siNglE lYPhE iS stRaiGht.. heLla duDeS.. bUt its nOt the sAmE.. cuZ noW i kINd CoMpaRe thE duDEs to Marr.. en liKe.. whUT he woUld do... i lUV dhat bwoI.. en yeA.. damn ima miss him..
but gea.. well im gonna go now.. fiNd sumthin to do wid mai lypHe.. haha..
arite.. chUCh.. liddlemissE's

*][ OO YEA.. PARADISE ISLAND ][*
o yeah... me mylk en joyce r goin to the bahama's next summer...!..alreadi planned.. weir savin up our money.. en we already got the condo weir stayin in.. O YES!.. doiin it up.. weir gonna have so much fun.. HEARD DERE'S A NUDE BEACH MYLK!.. WE WERE RITE!! hahah..

..*][* nikichan *][*.. : i wunder if dey gotta nude beach hahaha..

..*][* nikichan *][*.. : i wanna see sum naked guys :)

[[mikki]] : hahaha.

[[mikki]] : hahahah.. oh yes.haha.

..*][* nikichan *][.. hahah thass probly y its called paradise island... its the nude section of the bahama's hahah O YES!

[[mikki]] : hahahah.. oh yes....hahah.



**EN HERE'S JOYCE'S RESPONCE**



nikichan : heyyyya joyce
joyce : DOMINIQUE!!!!!
joyce : yo yo!!!
joyce : damn... soo hotttt..... i see ya picture
nikichan : hahah.. GURRL I SEEN URS TOO!... sOoOO sEXiE!! hahah o yes.... YO!.. mYLk told you bout our plan! hahah
joyce : yeahh!!
joyce : haha my picture?
joyce : lOl daz my beb jumping...
joyce : fuck yeah bahamas baby
nikichan : gurr ur lil picture page.. mylk showed it to me... haha.. i was like awww.. she so purty!...
nikichan : gurrl u down?!..
nikichan : shiet we bout to have some fun man
joyce : hahah yeah whateva!!
joyce : ooh FUCK YEAH!!



O YES!.. haha.. so fuN... en the next lil entry thing.. ill tell u about mai new thing LIDDLE MISSES... wunce again a NEW nicc name..

.. *][ .. LIDDLE MISSES .. ][*
..whuttup wid it challs!.. o yes!.. dhiss baccground is tite werk eh?!.. so sexi!.. shiet.. the color red.. damn!.. brings out da liddle miss in me.. fa sho!..
mm .. well todai.. the wall planned our *ROAD TRIP* .. o yes.. to miami.. its me racheal courtney sherwin dominic derek curtis en mm i think dhass it.. but yea.. we're gonna have sum fun bwoi!.. haha.. we should be leavin tomorro nite... O YEA.. en dave!.. sorrie dave hah i fergot... we chill'd.. THE SUN KILT ME TODAI!.. ahh man.. it fuccin dried up all mai gel in like 2 seconds.. en mai hair was lookin all orangish.. hmm how'd dhat happen?.. dunno..
i cant wait till i go to souf beach.. its so beautiful man!.. u dont understand.. haha.. yep.. well im outtie guys.. im tawkin ta mai babie.. haha.. lata.

.. mai worries thicken ..
..hmm.. i dont understand.. do i do this to him?.. b'cause if i do.. then im lettin it be known that im SORRIE that i did.. but im not him.. i have to speak up about it.. en do something about it.. because.. like.. im hurtin so bad.. en ive never felt like this.. en this isnt a good feeling either.. IT SUCCS!,.. en i shouldnt have to do this animore.. i love him.. i swear i do.. wid all mai heart.. but i dont want to feel like this.. en maybe.. mm well maybe.. i should jhuss end things.. or atleast tell him that im thinking about that.. because honestly for the past couple of days.. ive been feeling like that.. en like.. damn.. things have changed so much man... realli.. i can feel it in mai heart.. and it hurts SOOO bad.. en like.. god man.. i feel like screaming..i cant call him now.. b'cause he's with his boys from nebraska.. (the wuns he was with yesterday.. en u kno he went to see badboys wid them?!.. tss i mean whutever..) en like... todai.. he was with his family en stuff.. en he only tried to chill with me for like 5 mins to go to the store.. but i said no because i wasnt dressed.. en i wasnt gonna get dressed jhuss to go to the store.. en like.. we were jhuss playin on the phone.. en he got an attitude en was like man ima call u later.. en hung up.. and he didnt call me since like 7 all till now.. wen actually i had to call him.. en ask him if he could take me to johns game tomorro.. en he's wid his boys at city walk.. tss.. yeah.. im gona.. i have to.. cause its killen me.. that im keepen it inside.. *sigh* .. mm yeah..damn.. i jhuss cant believe this.. god.. i dunno whut im gonna say to him.. but.. man.. i dunno.. am i being selfish?.. man it hurts.. im gonna tell him.. wenever he calls.. because it will honestly make me feel a shitload better.. and ill be able to go about mai day..
WISH ME LUCC!.. haha alwaiyze.. domx2

marr :hey baby can i ask u a question????....
dom :yea
dom :wsup
marr :can u alwayz be my booger???
dom :haha OFCOURSE!! :D
marr :no matter how green u may get....and wanna flip out all the time....i still will alwayz love u and want u as my booger OK.....haha
dom :hahah ur gay
dom :hooooeekay
marr :haha
marr :i wanna see u tonight!!

..*sigh*.. the gewd ol' times haha.. dang

.. man o man..
.. man.. i jhuss feel like crying.. things aren't the same man! i dont blame him.. not the least bit.. not at all yo.. but damn.. like the nite before last.. i went to his house.. en we were chillen in his room en stuff.. man.. everithing was good man.. SO good.. en like.. we were doin our thing.. en like.. there was a point were he stopped.. en yo.. i looked at him.. en like.. the look in his eyes... shit isnt the same man.. tears were comin down mai eyes en awl man.. but he couldnt see cuz it was dark.. so i jhuss whiped them away so he wouldnt kno i was crying.. en i kno things have changed.. cause like.. the whole time he kept asking me.. WHUTS WRONG.. en until he started bugging me with the WHUTS wrongs.. i was fine man!.. i was happy to see him again!.. but then like.. i dunno.. but im certain.. things have change.. not in a good way.. AT ALL.. en like.. i kno i dont have any room to talk about his.. cause guys call mai phone all the time.. but i mean.. he knows i have alot of guy frens.. en thats as clear as i can make it.. but like.. he never used to have gurls call his cell.. en like.. we were in the room... en the phone rang.. en like he got up.. en he looked at the phone.. it looked like he wanted to answer it.. then he sat it down.. en i was like.. whose that?.. en he was like ..mm i dunt kno that number.. en i was like.. well thats whut phones are for marr.. jhuss pick it up en see who it is.. he didnt.. but then they called again.. en again.. en i was gettin kinda.. fucc it.. REALLI aggrivated.. cuz he couldnt pick it up.. en finally he did.. en it was bri.. now there's two bri's.. his ex.. en then matts bri.. but matts bri has been callin him a hella lot.. en i dont trust that shiet.. en like.. sumbodie else had called en left a message.. man .. damn.. things jhuss arent the same.. but .. i dunno.. there isnt muchi can do huh?.. i just wanna go away man.. go with somewun who i can jhuss be with.. en not care about whuts been goin on man.. cause i can smile like i have it all.. but inside its killen me.. en i dont kno whut to do.. i kno he luvs me.. tss no doubt man.. he'll do anything for me.. or atleast u USED to.. but.. its just lately.. its like he's gettin me bacc for the way i used to act.. man i dunno.. but.. like.. yeah.. DAAAMMNN!!!

.. ][* i purposed *][ ..
haha.. naw i didnt.. but jhuss a few minutes ago.. i asked marr to go bacc out wid me.. cause its been long enouf since we broke up.. wid this break thing .. en yea.. i was feelin bad.. en i missed him.. en shiet.. i have nothin to lose.. so yea.. i was like.. "marr??.. will you be mai boyfren again?".. haha i luv dhat dude... shiet.. we gon get married.. en make purtie babies.. haha.. ariight.. lata...

dom dom

|.| fairwell sherwin |.|
wsupa..
dag man.. how bout mai dearest homie sherwin is leaving us!.. wtf?!.. all sudden en shiet.. i mean.. he gave it like a days thought.. but i mean.. i guess u can do that sort of thing wen ur 18 en want to make a change en life... but y he couldnt make a change here?.. dag.. he says its only a 2 hour drive.. en im like.. babes.. its not 2 hours.. ive been to miami enouf.. cause lauderdale is like 2 ta 3 hours.. en then from there.. miami like 30 mins away.. tss.. dunno.. he's hardheaded.. doeznt listen.. maybe he takes a different route.. possible?..
man but still.. who ima possa chill wid everiday en argue wid all tha time? who possa make maccaroni en cheese en not wash the dishes?.. who gonna make eggs fa us in tha mornin?.. dag.. SHERWIN IF UR READING THIS.. U SUCC.. bitch.. hmm.. dag.. haha we had some times... been thru some shiet too.. en im glad we had that.. whut.. 3 for 4 minute apology fer the past couple a days.. haha.. i still luv u homie.. sorrie u felt like i dissed u fer dominic.. or liked dominic more.. its not even like dhat.. u'll always be mai big brotha.. mai heartbeat.. mai babes.. fa sho.. welp.. wen u down en havin fun en miami.. tell clay i says wsup!!.. en me en gee po miss him!.. haha.. miss dhat dude man..!.. he betta be bacc before skewl starts.. mm yea..
i dont think im gonna go aniwhere todai.. this morning gee po stopped by.. JHUSS to tell me that she has no more skewl.. en that she was goin home... ??!.. hmm.. i luv u babiegerl.. dang..
man its like..everiwuns gon'.. i wanna hurrie up en go to the bahama's man.. mookie's in atlanta.. tisha en chris.. in ny.. sherwin finna dip ta miami.. fer good.. *sniff sniff* .. clay in miami.. en most of all.. mai babie marr is in south carolina.. he'll be bacc thursday.. but i be wantin to call him up.. en be like come over.. but whoops.. he's not here.. but whutever... i guess that means i need to stay mai happy ass home huh?..
i could chill wid dominic en nem.. but i've chill'd with them everiday fer the past 3 weeks.. en all we do is smoke.. en i've had enouf of smokin.. im straight..
o yeah.. mai boy john williams is in town .. fer some basketball thing... i bet jamal en jarvis left wid out me.. punks.. its whutever man.. i give up.. people wake up to damn earli fer me man.. i wake up at like 3.. 4 ish.. shit like dhat...
well... yeah.. later guys.. im out..

(dhiss is me en marr's luv horoscope.. :) i miss him alreadi)

|.|Pisces & Gemini|.|

Pisces swims through deep waters, while the Gemini inhabits the airs. One is a contemplative, solitary being, while the other enjoys discussions. Pisces seeks absolute love and emotional intensity; if the Gemini can stretch his or her imagination to attain the emotional commitment which is alien to him or her, the couple will experience an extraordinary spiritual union. They share a taste for freedom: the Fish to explore his imaginary world, while the Gemini craves a chance to display charisma in the outer world. They may embark on a long journey, or bid each other farewell before casting off.

..en then..
.. dang im bored... i havent did shiet all day.. went out to chill fo a lil bit ... wid mai babiegurrl geneira.. en crackhead dominic en sherwin... en then came bacc home... en yep.. ate .. got online.. en now im doin this.. cause i have shit else to do...
hmm.. im tawkin with marr now on the phone... he isnt talkin about ne thing.. so yeah.. haha.. sittin here talkin ta mall en travis... BORED!.. ahh this succs... man... he's trying to sing on the phone.. hmmm.. not kew..

d o m d o m

*][ .. dangerouslie enluv .. ][*
..DAG MAN.. Y AM I SO MEAN?.. HAHA.. GOSH YO.. I SWEAR I NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT.. FIRST I THOUGHT PEOPLE WERE TAKEN IT OVER BOARD WEN THEY SAID THAT SHIET.. BUT .. DANG.. ITS LIKE.. NOW.. I SEE THE WAY I ACT.. EN SOMETIMES I DUNNO YO.. I JHUSS FLIP OUT.. I DONT INTEND TO.. OFCOURSE.. CUZ THAT KIND OF DEFEATS THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF FLIPPEN OUT.. BUT YEAH.. LIKE WID ME EN MARR.. IM SO MEAN TO HIM.. BUT ITS NOT ALL ON ME.. CUZ IT TAKES TWO.. EN LIKE..WEN WE'RE ALONE EN SHIET.. MAN!.. WE'RE THE PERFECT COUPLE.. ILL BE SO INTO HIM.. WE DONT HAVE TO BE ALONE TO ACT LIKE THAT.. CUZ WE'LL HAVE PEOPLE WID US.. EN LIKE LATER.. THEY'LL BE LIKE.. MAN YALL R SO CUTE.. DANG.. I WISH THIS I WISH THAT.. BUT LIKE.. WEN WE GET AROUND ALL OF OUR PEOPLE.. HE ACTS SO STUPID.. EN ITS LIKE OPPOSITE OF HOW A GUY ACTS.. WEN HE'S WID HIS BOYZ EN STUFF.. HE'LL BE WID ME 24-7.. EN ITS LIKE.. HE BLOWS HIS BOYS OFF.. A GURL SHOULD WANT THAT.. BUT.. ITS TOO MUCH FER ME.. I THINK THE PROBLEM IS.. HIS BOYS R MAI BOYS.. EN THEY WERE MAI BOYS BEFORE THEY WERE HIS.. EN LIKE.. WEN HE TRIES TO HOG ME TO HIMSELF.. WHICH HE SHOULD BE ENTITLED TO DOING THAT.. THE GUYS GET LIKE.. DANG.. SHE LEAVIN US FER HIM... THE GURLS SEEM TO UNDERSTAND.. CUZ THEY'RE GURLS.. BUT THE GUYS.. HMM I DUNNO MAN.. NOT EVEN I UNDERSTAND.. BUT I MEAN.. ITS WHUTEVER.. .. like i love him to death man.. i have sooo much fun wen weir together.. en wen he leaves.. ima miss the SHIT out of him.. en it hurts me to think about it.. but im bullshitin.. cause im simply waisting mai time.. hmm.. but i dunno.. right now he's in south carolina.. yep yep.. i dont understand how he can ALWAIYZE be there fer me .. en i only seem to be there for him wen i have nothing better to do.. i succ.. sorri marr!.. ima try to be better.. thass mai summer goal.. haha.. new years is too far away .. so .. yea.. you kno.. see.. ehmm.. i started by dedicating this whole entry to you!!... :) .. I LOVE YOU BABE!.. dunno where'd i be widout chu... probly runnin the wild lyphe in fla.. actin krazi like mai old self.. i like whut chu've done with me... kay??.. mm yeah..
wellp mai company... gay ass geneira is here.. so im outty hahah.. later.. domdom