Sorry I haven't updated much lately. Guess there's not too much to update. Abby is doing great. She finished Kindergarten last week. I can't believe my baby girl is a first grader now. (She keeps reminding me that she's not a baby anymore and I keep reminder her that even when she is 50, she will be my baby girl. Hannah as well!)
We've been doing a lot of playing outside and catching up on time that it feels like I missed while she was in school. Both the girls are catching up on their fighting as well. I'm not sure how many fights I broke up today.
Abby is just about to lose another tooth. Her top front tooth is just hanging on. She's been afraid that she will swallow it, but I can't get her to let me pull it. Hannah would pull it for her too, if she would just let her.
Not too much else going on. We've had one thunderstorm, after a tornado watch, after tornado warnings here lately. That's all it's done for about a week now and I have to say, my nerves are about shot from it! I know if we are all asleep that we will never hear the tornado sirens, so I just stay up until the radar is clear. It's starting to wear me down! It's 1:20 in the morning right now and I'm trying to occupy myself until this one gets by.
Abby goes back for her 4th check up after finishing chemo therapy on Thursday. Please pray that all is well. I've noticed now that there is down time and that I no longer have to be as strong, that I'm having such a hard time with all of this. Honestly, I don't understand why kids, or anyone for that matter, has to go through this. I know that God has a reason for everything, but the memories of my baby being so sick is hard for me to handle these days.
Hannah was only 1 1/2 years old and I have a hard time remembering her at that age because there was so much going on. (I am embarassed about this, but I guess we did what we had to do at the time.) I love my girls so much and I would do anything for them! Maybe what I am feeling is normal, I don't know, I just wish that we could get on with our lives and be normal. I wish that when the quiet time comes that I didn't sit and think about how sick she was, or how terrified that I am that it will come back. I wish that I could know that all was going to be ok and enjoy every moment of life. No worries...
Maybe I'm beginning to be a little human again. Seems like I had lost feeling and just took each moment as it came and removed myself emotionally. I guess eventually it catches up, right? I normally don't ask people to pray for me, because I'm suppose to be tough and have faith in God to take my worries and give me peace, but I need prayers. I feel like I've not been a very good mommy lately because I'm so bummed all the time. So please, continue to remember me and James in your prayers as well.
Also, continue to pray for healing for Brooke and Melissa who are both having relapses with leukemia. Abby's school secretary who is having a relapse with a very rare type of cancer and has 3 children, and a good friend of our family that has recently been diagnosed with Lymphoma. He is a single father of a teenaged daughter.
Sincerely,
Carrie