The 141 Deaths Of Mic Brumby
Ahh,
Bugme, how could TPTB kill thee? Let us count the ways...
1. Hit by a bus.
2. Falls off a @#$! ferry and drowns.
3. Beaten by an angry Marine for constantly lying to her.
4. Beaten by an angry flyboy for constantly lying to the aforementioned Marine.
5. Mauled by Jingo.
6. Killed by a certain Leavenworth escapee in a convoluted attempt to get
revenge on the aforementioned flyboy.
7. Lynched by an angry mob chanting, "Shippers!"
8. Cuts himself on the diamond ring, gets tetanus, dies.
9. Brags too hard; head explodes.
10. Dies in prison after being sued by Paul Hogan for copyright infringement.
Mic Brumby, Mic Dundee... tsk, tsk.
11. Falls off a @#$! ferry and is eaten by sharks.
12. Hit by a really big bus.
13. Struck by a low-flying Tomcat in a "freak accident".
14. Beaten by an angry client for losing to the aforementioned Marine and/or
flyboy.
15. Killed by a mutant shape shifter who then assumes his identity and calls off
the wedding.
16. Mistaken for a clone and stabbed in the back of the neck.
17. Killed by his fiancée’s stalker after said stalker escapes from prison.
18. Dies of homesickness.
19. Goes home to avoid Death # 18; mauled by kangaroo while there.
20. Dies of shock after fiancée comes to her senses and calls off wedding.
21. Tarred and feathered by an angry mob chanting, "Shippers!"
22. Spontaneous human combustion.
23. Falls off dock in Norfolk after seeing a "ghost". Significant
shipper moment follows. :)
24. Hit by a really, really big bus,
25. Up and disappears forever with no explanation.
26. Dies from cancer gotten after removing an implant from the back of his neck.
27. Dies, but isn't really dead. Shippers disappointed.
28. Goes sky diving, and his o-ring 'mysteriously' has an undetectable slit in
it.
29. Has a heart attack while working on the integration of e^x (and you're a
really big nerd if you actually understand that).
30. Hit by a "Mac" truck.
31. Eaten by a dingo.
32. (to add to the nerdiness) He decided to drink and derive.
33. Killed one of three ways by the bare hands of one overprotective JAG/SEAL.
34. Annoyed to death by Renee Peterson. Can he take her with him if that's how
he goes?
35. Actually dies from shock that he and Sarah weren't compatible after all.
36. Glared to death by Harm (ever notice that squinty-eyed thing Harm does when
he's really being irritated by him?).
37. Dies of self-absorption.
38. Is abducted by aliens that look like linebackers, then slowly killed by
cheek pulling experiments (not a death I wished on Mulder, but for Brumby, it's
fine).
39. Hit by the ambulance he's chasing.
40. Killed by Palmer, who's had a change of heart and wants to do Harm a *favour*.
41. Eaten alive by a green-eyed monster.
42. Dies of dehydration caused by diarrhoea of the mouth.
43. Overexerts himself and has a heart attack walking Jingo while Mac
"works" with Harm on a case.
44. Wears out his welcome and is killed when the door hits him on the way out
and propels him into an open elevator shaft.
45. Killed by Mac's mother when she finds out she wasn't invited to the wedding.
46. Has a Big Mac attack and gets into a car wreck on the way.
47. His silent partner in Brumby & Brumby catches Mic swindling some money
and shoots him.
48. Eats one too many "Aussie" burgers and dies of a heart attack.
49. Click his heels three times and goes home to OZ!
50. Gets run over by crazed shipper who just lost shipper site, and is beaten to
death with her crutch.
51. Travels to Iraq on case, taken prisoner and finally shot by a firing squad.
52. Killed by 10-pound cans of tomatoes being dropped on him while leaving the
office.
53. Gets sloshed at his bachelor party and passes out; while passed out Harm
takes him for a ride in an F-14 and ejects him somewhere over the Indian Ocean.
54. Gets attacked and eaten by a bear.
55. While going bush in the outback, runs into "Survivor" contestant
Jerri who is so hungry she mistakes him for a wild boar and with her bare hands
manages to subdue him. Pig Roast anyone?
56. ....Or he runs off with Jerri the man eater.
57. Zapped by lightning during Count von Count's counting.
58. Sat on by Big Bird and Snuffleupagus.
59. Whacked by Tinky Winky's purse.
60. Dies of a heart attack while trying to keep up with the Rugrats.
61. Annoyed to death by Angelica (annoyed to death by blondes...hmm...sound
familiar?).
62. Run over by a horse and its rider, a young girl who is a "little
sister" and wants to be a flower girl at one PARTICULAR wedding.
63. Blown up by a bomb that a certain Russian half-brother refused to defuse (as
a favour to HIS half-brother)
64. Driven right into the thick of a battle in Chechnya and left there by a
heroic Russian cabbie who wanted to help out a "beautiful colonel".
65. Beaten up by the baby rattle held by a certain little blond tot and godson.
The next four Deaths are for the anime fans...
66. Gundam HeavyArms opens up his beam cannon blasting Brumby into outer space.
67. Lady Uhn's split personality Col. Uhn comes out and she sends Brumby out in
a mobile suit-- up against Quatre and his Sandrock Gundam... No match... Quatre
blows Brumby right out of his suit and he implodes in outer space...
68. Ryoko shows her demon side after hearing that Brumby decided he is
"playing for the other team" and is going after he beloved man,
Tenchi. Ryoko pulls him to pieces with her fingernails and drowns him in the
pool.
69. Ryo-oki transforms into a spaceship and flies his @$$ out to Planet Jurai,
and then plants him in the ground like a tree.
70. Wiped out by Tripod for violating the Terms of Service.
71. Killed by a former Marine Colonel for continually lying to said Marine's
niece.
72. Analyzed to death by a pushy blonde psychologist.
73. Killed by angry video director after he comes to his senses and denies her
the "miracle" she's been waiting for.
74. Burned up when his hair grease catches fire.
75. Gets blown away in the same hurricane that will destroy Big Bird's nest.
76. The Amazing Mumford makes him disappear forever.
77. He goes somewhere with Forgetful Jones, and good old Forgetful promptly
forgets exactly where he left Bugme. :)
78. Replace (or just lace) his hair grease with hydrochloric acid. Heh.
79. Tries on his RAN uniform again; stuck by a pin and deflates.
80. Run down by an angry mob of Australians who are sick of him making their
country look bad.
81. Throws a boomerang, forgets they come back, gets hit in the head.
82. Steps into an open elevator shaft.
83. Takes up boxing again, gets hit a little too hard.
84. Renee pokes him with one of her sculptured nails, and all the hot air rushes
out of him, deflating him into a lifeless pile.
85. Killed by falling plaster when a flyboy lawyer shoots up the courtroom and
Mic fails to duck (or take cover).
86. Loses a game of "Toss the Ebola" with a Sudanese terrorist leader.
87.
Gets some bad smack from Danny Walden.
88. Slips in the bathroom from where Jingo went on the tile, and breaks his
neck.
89. Disappears in the Appalachians with a client after taking Harm's advice on a
great hunting area.
90. Goes jogging with a flyboy and the flyboy pushes him in front of a car.
91. Webb and the company do a sweep on him.
92. Follows a certain Marine who follows a certain flyboy to Russia and is
kidnapped by a band of gypsies.
93. Palmer... need I say more.
94. The MacKenzie Curse.... Dalton, Chris, Eddie... Mic.
95. Sokol kidnaps Mic and orders Alexei to take him for a ride in a taxi to a
Chechnya war camp and trade him for Sergei. They get just as annoyed with him as
we do and shoot him to shut him up.
96. Gets a paper cut while reading a legal brief.
97. Companion to Death #16: A stiletto to the back of the neck. Yes, he is the
Bounty Hunter.
98. Caught in an avalanche. Being from Sydney, still not sure what that white
stuff called snow actually does.
99. Attacked by 25 school students, who are upset that their teacher is taking
his presence out on them. (whoops, that one is totally personal)
100. Electrocuted whilst trying to create a romantic atmosphere (gotta love
karma).
101. Pinned between the elevator doors at JAG.
102. Falls off a barstool while drowning his sorrows after Mac finally dumps
him.
103. Burned to a crisp by the overwhelming energy present between Harm and Mac.
104. Trips over a donkey while making an ass of himself.
105. Sued by McDonald's for copyright infringement; tries to pin the whole thing
on Mac, but her flyboy lawyer proves her innocence, and only Mic goes to prison
- where he dies.
106. In an alternate reality, Mic becomes a dinner guest for the Visitor Diana.
(Anyone remember "V"?)
107. In the same reality, Mic is fed to a crivit (a creature from the Visitors'
world that burrows under the sand and pulls its prey under).
108. Gets squashed by a Visitor mothership.
109. Dresses up as Superman for Halloween, and runs into Doomsday.
110. Dresses up as Superman for a night of roleplaying with Mac, and while
attempting to "save" her, falls and breaks his neck.
111. Tries to extort money from the Jackal - either the Edward Fox version or
the Bruce Willis version.
112. Visits South Park and gets mistaken for Kenny.
113. Goes to New Orleans and bumps into Lestat.
114. Goes a few rounds in the ring with Ivan Drago.
115. Runs into Walker, Texas Ranger, who is in D.C. for a martial arts expo and
shows him a few moves...
116. Gets run over by a Suburu Forester driven by Paul Hogan.
117. Crushed by the MIR space station when it crashed to earth.
118. Goes to a Halloween party where people are told to dress as they truly see
themselves. Dresses as Superman, but fails to read warning on costume box;
"Cape does not enable user to fly."
119. A shipper gets their hands on a magic genie; Mic falls victim to wishes 1,
2 and 3
120. Eaten alive by domestic cats.
121. While strutting into a room, falls over his own feet.
122. Turns to dust when he comes into contact with daylight.
123. Receives a stake to the heart from someone called a "slayer"
124. Mistaken for a traitor on the Queen Anne in 1939 while stuck in the Bermuda
Triangle, thrown overboard.
125. Sent a virus through e-mail.
126. Hit by a falling plate glass window whilst entering HQ.
127. Executed by a certain Admiral for creating disharmony in the JAG office.
128. Buried alive in little AJ's sandbox.
129. A contingent of Australian male actors (Gibson, Ledger, Crowe, Pearce,
etc.) convince him to disappear after giving Aussie men a bad name.
130. Jealous former girlfriend shoots him.
131. Jealous former boyfriend shoots him.
132. Orders a 5-foot wedding cake which mysteriously falls on him; suffocates in
frosting.
133. Former RAN 'mates' realize how much better Mac would be with Harm when they
arrive for the wedding and send him on a one way flight to Muatoa Atoll where
the French decide to do just *one more* test.
134. Gets mauled by Taz.
135. Goes to the UK, contracts Foot-and-Mouth disease, and is promptly destroyed
by officials.
136. (JAG list one...) Takes on Patrick, Dec and Troy... and loses!
137. Captured by shippers and taken to the 'Never To Be Opened' cell at the JAG
Asylum.
138. Self-combusts into a green puddle of sludge.
139. Goes to visit Steve Irwin at his crocodile farm for lunch, only to find
that he IS lunch.
140. Beaten to death by an angry and insulted Australian shipper.
141. Just plain dies. Heck, we don't care how!
- Courtesy of the Shipper List