Can we get kinky tonight-night-night-night?
Day 30

Well, friends, this is it. The end of the trip. 30 days in the land of half of my ancestors.

2982.53 miles covered, not including air travel.

Tomorrow morning (Aug 10) my father, my brother and I take the 7am train out of Libourne to London, England. London is a 2 night stay so we could enjoy a fine Indian meal and a night out with the Plump DJs.

The Plump DJs are the masters of "dance floor murder", I like to say. What I mean is the music they make and mix could kill a dance floor. I can't really explain more than that. I think AKT knows what I mean. I heard they man the decks at 3am so the Brothers Tronche will be nice and tired/hungover when we finally board our afternoon plane to come home.

It's been great typing this travel journal and we appreciate all those who read it. I'm sure it won't be the last time we do this, so stay tuned for more...

See you in the States.

-John-Laurent


Balls.

-Alexander

More nuts than a bag of nuts.
Day 28

It's impossible to accurately describe the sheer insanity that is the Fête de Bayonne. You really do have to see it. But I'd say this picture pretty much describes it.

Ryan, Mikey, Alexander, John-Laurent; we're all Americans by birth, so we knew it was important that we represent our country in true form. We had our uniforms. We had our bottles of booze strapped like weapons across our chests. We were going to battle. Our enemy: sobriety. And he was going down.

The first thing you notice upon arriving at the Fête is the lack of rhyme or reason to anything. We jumped right into the heat of it. In war it's important to deliver the first blow quickly so the enemy knows you mean business. After a few swigs from our shoulder-strapped bottles, Alexander and I "mailmanned" some beer. Things get a little hazy from here on...

(The following takes place between 11pm and 6am.)

Some poor sucker asked us for a drink from our bottles. Mikey obliged and shoved the bottle of Ricard to his mouth. Ryan gave him a bit too. Then Alexander felt generous as well. "Merci," he muttered with a thumbs up before stumbling away, his mouth and shirt now soaked in Ricard.

Standing on top of a mailbox, two dudes danced and gave the crowd a striptease. With his pants at his feet, one of the guys laughed and sang with his fans. Then someone stole his pants. Undeterred, he kept on dancing.

Out of nowhere, my father appeared from the crowd to share a drink with us. Then he left.

In some back alley, we yelled along with some invisible radio blaring Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name." Somewhere in all that we met Dimitri, a Frenchman by way of Russia. We followed him to find his friend at a bar. His friend wasn't there, but we all got some beer and split.

Bathrooms are everywhere at the Fête de Bayonne, just pick one and let go.

Love and friendship.

The four of us danced, screamed, jumped, pushed and shoved for an hour and a half on one of the many dance floors. Mikey head butt someone by accident.

At 4am, Alexander suggested we try the carnival rides. To say it was a bit disorienting would be a big understatement. Ryan held on for dear life. Mikey screamed nonstop. I concentrated on keeping the wine and beer in my stomach. Alexander took it all in stride.

With less than 20 euros between us, we pooled our money so Alexander could buy a merguez sausage to split. None of us got a single bite and he passed out afterward.

We struggled onto the 5am bus and passed out. I woke up less than an hour later to find the entire bus empty. "When do we get to Hossegor?" I yelled to the bus driver. "We already passed it," he replied.

The driver turned that bus around however, and we made it back home at 6:30am. By the end of it all I had lost my glasses, Alexander lost a shoe, and we all lost some brain cells.

The next morning...

Last but not least... My wicked fine photoshop skillz!!!1!

-John-Laurent

Over the hill
Day 19

We’re over the halfway mark for our trip and the big traveling is more or less over. We’ve seen Normandy, we’ve seen Provence, we’ve seen the Côte d’Azur, and we’ve seen the Pyrénées. From here on out it’s France without an itinerary: no more hotels, little driving and lots of “what should we do today?”

The past 18 days have been a research trip of sorts for the best of everything within France. The cheapest beer is in Cannes. The best wine comes from right outside of Les Baux-de-Provence and you won’t find a better cut of beef than at L’Entrecote in Bordeaux.

AKT and I have met some pretty rockin' people and seen some pretty sweet places; I'm sure that once we win the lottery a few times we'll have no trouble finding cities and towns in France to build dream homes. Retirement here I come!

In any event, it’s been great so far and I know I’ll enjoy the time we have left here.

-John-Laurent


I was pretty anxious coming into this trip on account of some tense family vacations in the past and therefore had low to mild expectations. Fortunately, however, things have turned out to be great…if not perfect at times. The country time and time again proves itself worthy of my highest regards.

We’ve had good exposure to most of the cultural hot spots in France including Normandy, the Gironde (including Bordeaux and Saint-Emilion/Pomerol), Provence proper, the Cote d’Azur (which includes St. Tropez, Nice, and Cannes), and most recently the Pyrenees closest to Andorra. Here in a couple of days time I’ll be heading down to Les Landes (Biarritz and Hossegor) to meet Ryan and Mikey for a four or five day beaching, surfing, and drinking stint and eventually will make it up to London to see the Plump DJs at Fabric.

It is a family vacation so we have all had to make some adjustments, but I think we’ve done so in a very seamless fashion. That being said, I have had a great time with Mama, Papa, JLT, and Sue. This is a trip that will go down as groundbreaking for the Tronches.

I can’t stop the Fever.

-Alexander

Let's get down to business...

First and foremost... Alexander's wicked fine illustrator skillz!!!1!

Video Post #3: Day 12
Alexander attends a Corrida

Les Baux de Provence is incredible. The weather is hot but the wind, known as Le Mistral, keeps it relatively cool. The sound of the cicadas can be heard every second of every hour, all day and all night. Do they sleep? I've seen few places as pleasant and picturesque as this area of France. The only problem with Provence is the lack of beaches and sexy girls...

...which is why they invented the Côte d'Azur.

Alexander and I split a carafe of rosé and a pizza before heading to the beach. We swam out to a floating pontoon and stayed there for hours pushing Arabs off and talking to two Canadians from Vancouver, Paula and Henry.

We agreed to meet for drinks after dinner.

Paula and Henry took us to the English Pub. 10 beers for 15 euros! Hell of a deal if you ask me. They bring you a tray of glasses and once you've finished those they bring you another, kind of like an all you can eat buffet line. Our friends from the North taught us a slick beer-drinking maneuver known as the "Karl Malone." Arch your head back, support your neck with one hand and guzzle the brew with the other. It's also known as the "mailman", because you deliver.

After Cannes, we drove to Font-Romeu, deep in the Pyrénées near Andorra. We drank rosé, ate prosciutto and melon and admired the scenery before dinner. Photo #2 One of the two solar ovens in France is located down in the valley below Font-Romeu because this area gets 300+ days of sunshine a year, more than any other part of France.

After dinner, AKT and I hit the town running but quickly learned there's not much to do in an off-season ski-village after 11pm.

Back in Toulouse I bought a soccer jersey and had the store put my man's name and number on it.

It's now Saturday afternoon in Libourne; AKT and I have been working many hours on this post. AKT leaves for the Atlantic tomorrow to meet up with Ryan and Mikey in Hossegor. At time of posting, I'm not sure what I'll do in the next week or so. Maybe Paris. Maybe Hossegor. Maybe stay here. Maybe take a night boat to Cairo, or maybe something else altogether.

Stay awake, stay employed.

-John-Laurent

Halfway Point
Day 15

We've reached the halfway point for our trip...

To start, AKT and I finally figured out how to post videos.

Video Post #1: Day 01
AKT + Porto + Xanax = Sleep

AKT and I went out the other night in Arles and met two English chicks. Their names were Hannah and Frankie. They live near Stonehenge.

The following day we drove into Les Baux de Provence. It's hot but the wind keeps it cool; the cicadas talk all day and night. Our hotel is located in the mountains and hills of Provence. Lots of greenery at the hotel as well.


Video Post #2: Day 12
Life in Les Baux de Provence

We arrived yesterday in Mandelieu, which is about one block from Cannes.



-John-Laurent

Arles by night
Day 12

Our location, to be exact.

Que Calor!
Day 08

"Oh my, my, my! I do believe I'm feelin' the vapors."

It's hot and humid in France. It's the kind of weather that keeps you drenched in sweat all hours of the day. You sleep on top of the bed in your underwear trying to catch all of the breeze the tiny fan in the corner of the room will produce. No amount of Perrier, Orangina and beer will quench this thirst.

This kind of weather calls for a special kind of attire. (Details to follow...)

-John-Laurent

The First Four Days
Day 01
Mesdames et Messieurs,

On est arrivé en France et tout se passe bien. After a drive from Paris, we arrived at the Château De L'Isle Marie Photo #2, located in the bustling metropolis that is Picauville, France. After changing clothes quickly and setting our luggage in our rooms, we drove 20 minutes to Grandcamp-Maisy for dinner at Bar de la Marée. Dinner included aperitifs and crisp white wine, fresh seafood, brut cider, more crisp white wine, dessert, Calvados and, finally, espresso.

Alexander did some office work for a bit.

As if the booze at dinner wasn't enough, Alexander and I drank port and took Xanax to seal the deal and ensure a good night of uninterupted sleep. We slept like comatose babies.

Day 02

The view from our room is incredible; the air is cool and crisp and as the minutes pass and the temperature increases the morning fog rolls back before disappearing completely.

We drove deep into Normandy and stopped along the way to eat lunch. By mid-afternoon we arrived at Le Mont-St.-Michel. It's big. Bigger than you think. A credible source (Alexander) told me it's the most popular tourist destination in France. I asked him why it wasn't the Eiffel Tower or Le Louvre but he didn't have an answer. Photo#2 Photo #3

On the way back to the Château, Alexander and I noticed this classy spot. If you don't get it, you're probably not a dude.

Alexander drank J&B on the rocks and I enjoyed a gin and tonic before dinner at some so-so restaurant 10 minutes down the road. A good glass of port rounded out the night and ensured a solid night of sleep.

Day 03

We woke up early and drove back to Paris to retrieve some luggage my mother had forgotten; such is life. Once said luggage was retrieved my father and I figured we might as well drive into Paris and eat lunch at Pizza Vesuvio, located in Saint-Germain-de-Pres. I ate there once two and a half years ago and knew immediately I'd never find a better pizza. It's the damn truth.

We left Paris mid-afternoon for the loooong haul down to Libourne. It took damn near 5 hours but we made it and, big surprise, ate dinner.

Day 04

BASTILLE DAY!!!1!!

We watched some fireworks. Photo #2 Alexander and I went to a bunch of "night boxes" and stumbled home drunk at 2am, I think.


-John-Laurent