Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.
- Anon
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
- Plato
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
- Erich Fromm
If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.
- Anon
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
- Lily Tomlin
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
- Albert Camus
Boy George is all England needs; another queen who can't dress.
- Joan Rivers
The biggest misconception about me is that I'm angry and violent. But I'm a real sweetie.
- Jack Nicholson
There's no reason for me to look in the mirror. It's someone else's job to make sure I look the way I should.
- Julia Roberts
It takes a lot of money to make a person look this cheap.
- Dolly Parton
I'm like a cockroach. You just can't get rid of me.
- Madonna
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
- Anonymous
A groundless rumor covers ground rapidly.
- Evan Esar
Show me someone who never gossips, and I'll show you someone who isn't interested in people.
- Barbara Walters
Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once.
- Eva Gabor
It is seldom indeed that one parts on good terms, because if one were on good terms one would not part.
- Marcel Proust
There are times not to flirt. When you're sick. When you're with children. When you're on the witness stand.
- Joyce Jillson
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I always advise people never to give advice.
- P.G. Wodehouse
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr
Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.
- Satchel Paige
Always think twice about something you can only do once.
- Ron VanWarmer
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him.
- Cher
Since everything is in our heads, we had better not lose them.
- Coco Chanel
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
- Frank M. Hubbard
Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.
- Robert Cody
Its always a good idea to act your age even if you hesitate to tell it.
- Evan Esar
The only people who never fail are those who never try.
- Ilka Chase
A diamond is a chunk of coal that is made good under pressure.
- Anonymous
Don't be so humble, you're not that great.
- Golda Meir
Opportunities are usually disguised by hard work, so most people don't recognize them.
- Ann Landers
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits.
- Anonymous
I dont say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.
- Orson Welles
Take your work seriously, but never yourself.
- Dame Margot Fonteyn
Don't accept rides from strange men and remember that all men are strange.
- Robin Morgan
My husband said he wanted to have a relationship with a redhead, so I dyed my hair red.
- Jane Fonda
Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.
- Janis Joplin
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
- Lucille Ball
If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.
- Jim Eason
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Joey Adams
It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.
- Mick Jagger
When things go wrong, don't go with them.
- Anonymous
It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.
- Shirley MacLaine
Never admit that your back goes out more than you do.
- Joan Rivers
He who hesitates is a damn fool!
- Mae West
The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
- George Jessel
Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.
- Salvador Dali
Never believe in mirrors or newspapers.
- Tom Stoppard
Be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home.
- Phyllis Diller
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.
- Molly McGee
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
- Erma Bombeck
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
- Joan Rivers
Sex appeal is 50 percent what you've got and 50 percent what people think you've got.
- Sophia Loren
Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
- Franklin P. Jones
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
- Linda Ellerbee
It's the friends that you can call at 4 a.m. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
- Rita Mae Brown
Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
If it has tires or testicl