Chinese Wedding Customs |
Traditional Chinese Wedding Customs |
This is the elaborate process on the groom's parents' part to look for the right kind
of bride for their family. Rich families will look for a bride who can take care
of household finances and most importantly, give birth to sons to inherit the wealth
of the family. Poor families will look for a bride who can work hard in the fields and
give birth to sons to help out on the farm.
In the old days, marriages are arranged so it's quite normal for the parents to dominate
the bride-seeking process. Girls from rich family will be sought out by other
rich families and poor girls will probably marry into poor families. Hence the Chinese
saying: bamboo door is to bamboo door as wooden door is to wooden door.
There are some circumstances where the marriage has been arranged when both the
bride and the groom were very young or not even born. In the former case, a young girl
may be bought by the rich family as a servant girl to serve the rich boy.
When the boy grew up, she may become either his wife or one of his concubines.
In the latter case, two pregnant mothers will make the promise that
when the babies are born, if they were both boys or both girls, they would become
brothers or sisters and if one baby was a boy and the other a girl, they would get married.
Hence the saying: pointing to the bosom as a marriage promise. However, a lot of times
when the boy grew up, his family may have fallen from prestige and sometimes the girl's
family may refuse to let them get married. There are numerous folktales about
tragedies that stem from arranged marriage. However, there are also many happy endings
to arranged marriage. All we can say is that it was the fact of life at that time.
In the old days, all communication was through formal letters. Therefore, the letters play an important role in the events.
The Chinese word for etiquette can mean both customs and gifts. The following customs are known as the Six Etiquette
After obtaining the 'Eight Letters' of the groom and potential bride, a fortune telling master will be hired to determine whether the two match each other. If there is nothing wrong with the bride's birthdate, the groom's family will proceed to the next step. Otherwise, there will be no further contact between the families and the groom's family may look for another suitable bride.
The bride and groom will worship the heavens and the earth, the groom's ancestors and they will also serve tea to all of their superiors in the family. After that, the superiors will give them red packages (lai see) with monetary gifts and wish them well. The groom's family will then throw a huge feast (if they can afford it) for the friends and relatives to celebrate the wedding. All along, the spokeswoman will oversee the whole process and keep toasting the couple.
After the meal, the newly wed couple will return to the bridal room and some naughty friends may tag-along and play tricks on the groom. When all is done, the couple will drink and toast and the spokeswoman will offer sweets and fruits to the couple to wish them long life and lots of kids (!). Then, the couple will finaly be left with themselves and the groom can take off the red cloth that covers the bride's face.
IIa. Setting up the Bridal Bed
After the groom's family has selected a 'good day' as the wedding day, a man who's considered to have had good fortune all through his life will be hired to move the bridal bed to the right place. Then a lady who's considered to have had good fortune [with healthy and living husband and sons] will make the bed and place certain good fortune food and fruits on the bed. Then the bed will be left untouched until the day of the wedding. IIb. The Bride's Gifts for the Groom
The bride's gifts for the groom will either arrive a couple of days before the wedding day
or if she's a relatively long-distance bride, she'll bring along the gifts with her maids
as she arrive at the groom's home on wedding day.
The bride's gifts usually consists of valuable jewelry and precious stones, kitchen
utensils, proper bridal linen such as sheets, pillow covers and clothes. In some area,
the bride's family is expected to furnish the bridal except for the bridal bed. There's a
saying that if the bride supplies the bridal bed, then the family is practically giving
the bride away for free.
The night before the wedding, both the bride and the groom needs to find a 'good fortune'
woman and man to comb their hair in his/her home respectively. Both the bride and the
groom needs to take shower before the event, change to some fresh new underwear and incense needs to be burnt. The bride also needs to sit next to a window where the moon
can be seen. Their hair needs to be combed four times and each has a special meaning:
The first combing symbolizes: from beginning till the end
The whole action also symbolizes the adulthood of the couple. If either has been
married before, then the combing event can be skipped for that person.
The second combing symbolizes: harmony from now till old age
The third combing symbolizes: sons and grandsons all over the place
The fourth combing summaries good wealth and a long-lasting marriage.
IIIa. Wedding Day: picking up the Bride
On the day of the wedding, the groom will send a carriage over to the bride's family
to bring the bride home. The carriage is decorated in red and is carried by four servants.
Musicians will accompany the procession and they will play wedding music all the way.
A lot of gifts are also brought to the bride's family at the same time.
At the bride's home, the bride will put on her bright red wedding gown and the bride's
parents will give her jewelry to wear.
As the groom's procession arrives, the groom's spokeswoman will enter the bride's house and will carry the bride on her back. The bride cannot touch the ground with her feet until she arrives at the groom's house. In some regions, the bride's relatives will throw rice into the air, hoping that the chickens around will eat the rice instead of pecking at the bride. Sometimes, a red umbrella is used to shield the bride as the opening of the umbrella will symbolize her bringing many descendants to the groom's family. As the bride leaves the house, her parents and her relatives will bid her farewell as she rides the carriage and leaves home. Wealthy brides often have servant girls who will follow her to the groom's family and continue to serve her. These maids are known as ones who 'accompany the marriage'. IIIc. Bride Arriving at the Groom's Home
After the bride arrive at the groom's house, the couple will again worship the ancestors and worship the heavens and earth. Then they will serve tea to the groom's family according the their seniority and the relatives will give them red packets or bridal jewelry in return. IIId. The Wedding Banquet
To celebrate the marriage, the groom's family will throw a wedding feast as large as they can afford. In the old days, some villagers may use up to seven continuous days to entertain the relatives during a wedding. Every night, delicious food is being served to all the guests.
IVa. The Bride Returning Home after 3 Days
Three days after the wedding, the bride is expected to return to her family. The bride
will bring along roasted pig and gifts for the family. Some regions require that the
groom accompany her while some didn't. Nonetheless, this is probably the last chance
the bride gets to see her parents. Therefore, she will bring along a lot of gifts for
the family and she may even stay for a couple of days or even more.
As a tradition, the bride's family will also return part of the gifts to the groom's family
as a courtesy. Some regional custom requires that the family should return the head and tail of the roasted pig to the groom's family symbolizing the good beginning and end of the
wedding.
|Chinese Customs| |Contact Me| |Sign My Guestbook| |View My Guestbook|