welps, my hunch was right... juan did read it. yea its okie i guess. im really sorry. talking to david just brought me back some memories... it was nice but i dont want to get back to that. thats all it was...hoan? i do like him...a lot.. yea.. n maybe i do want something in the future.. :] *sigh* im really sorry hoan..sorry for bringing down ur mood. dont want u to be sad... (o= be happy.....arghz.. maybe acutally talking about this will make it better... i dunno....

arghz... i think juan read what i told him not to read... i gues its not really his fault because its really tempting...dang it... im pretty sure he did read it because now he sounds all awkward on the fone... i mean it has to be that...i mean he sounds really sad. dang it.. stupid annie, u should know better. dang it... ikno its something he definitely does not want to read and now he did. why did u do such a thing? hurt 2 guys in one day!! arghz..u are EVIL!! wat the heck man... think before ur actions.... im sorry.. i really am... right after hoan read that he went to change his imood right away... went from happy to like ... something sad.. melancholy-sadness n gloomy. aint that great...sorry juan. )o= annie, ur just a BAD BAD BAD person.

I am Mr Do. I am sedentary by nature, enjoying passive entertainment, eating when the mood takes me, and playing with my food. I try to avoid conflict, but when I'm angered, I can be a devil - if you force me to fight, I will crush you. With apples. What Video Game Character Are You?

You are Gerald! Well aren't you cool. And a good best friend. A little superficial? Well come on, the hair IS pretty important. take the what hey arnold! character are you? test

What Kind Of Pokemon Are You?

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Mistletoe

You are a true romantic and love to express this particularly at Christmas.

Christmas Tree: 10/50 Snowman: 5/50 Santa Claus: 20/50 Reindeer: 0/50 Mistletoe: 25/50 Star: 0/50

Take the What in Christmas Are You? test by webkin and aaronr!
stupid juan keeps getting the same results as me... first banana, then pooh, n now MISTLETOE!! hehe (o= weird how we keep getting the same results... *wink wink* mistletoe... still gotta use it...*muahs!*

wow! 5 o clock already.. the day wasted away once again. aint that great! its so ugly and rainy outside.. it sucks! oh wellz.. went to costco today with my mommy n got moochi n KIX!! yumm got home and had my daily convo with hoan also. it was pretty nice i guess. *sigh*

right now tho, im feeling a bit regretful. david called me and i was talking to him for a while.. it felt pretty nice i guess. i dunno, it just brought me back to "annie and david" am i starting to regret the break up? i dont know. it did make me feel a bit sad that i no longer have that relationship with him and when he makes those little remarks that he used to and i smile.. its like.. should i be in this situation rite now? isnt it over? i shouldnt feel regretful because now i have more freedom to do as i please and i have more friends that i can talk to. why do i feel regretful then? why why why? maybe its a phase that im going through.. or is the break up a phase that im going through? arghz... man.. im confused now! )o=

Wow! Today was a rush! Woke up a little too early and had nothing to do so yea. I actually went jogging tho! Woohoo! Very refreshing id say! phew... juan went with me. (o= it was pretty nice. hehe.. jogged for 1.5 miles baby! thats right! hehe thats a whole lot for me. shoot, i havent gotten any exercise in the longest time! getting fat just sitting here. it was really nice joggin with juan.. hehe pretty sweet id say. we talked and jogged... haha he was ready to collapse at one point. kinda funny. that dodo. well i had a good time just taking a break n running. hehe i stare at the sky a lot while he stares at the ground. (o= dang were we tired tho! phew! im very proud of myself. heehe. we had some pretty fun conversations while sitting and resting. i made sandy bike around the track for 5 laps. that dodo just sat there and stared at us. wtheck? hehe. i say today was a pretty good day.

had to read viet but that was okay... planning to go see a bball game soon with kim.. shannon called but we didnt really talk.. i guess ill call her later or something. dang... 6 o clock already! where did the day go?

haha saw recess:school's out... its pretty cool! hehe (o= i like spinelli... she rocks!

stupid juan makes fun of how i say "gif"... u pronounce it like "gift", you know... like u give somemone a gift.. sheehs... who has ever heard of "jif"... that loser!

Arghz.. today was a pretty crappy day if u ask me. One thing that was good was that I finished almost finished my map for history. Woohoo! Yay. One thing done, about 10 things left to go. Great! Some interesting things occurred to me today and its very interesting to just think about.

A bunch of us were supposed to go to the movies today to watch JIMMY NEUTRON but of course, that plan failed. We were supposed to go earlier but Shannon kinda flaked out. She never bothered calling to inform us on what her status is about the movies so me, bonnie, n juan just stayed home. tam asked me to go earlier but i said no because i didnt want to ditch shannon. i was kinda mad but it didnt really bother me much. i just thought she shoud've called us or something so we know what to do. what did get me mad was how she reacted when we kinda told her about why she didnt call us. she went blabbering about how we should've called her in the morning before she left.. how would we kno when that is?? sheehs.. n she said she didnt know we really wanted to watch teh movie. well duh! i dunno, it jsut got me really mad because she seemed like she didnt think she did anything wrong. on top of that, i find out that she complained about me yesterday for not being able to go. wtheck man? it wasnt even my fault? i tried okie? god, mabye if she gave me more of a notice or something. stupid. she didnt even have to cancel it, i told her to go. i really didnt have to be there n i wouldn't have been butthurt. always couldve seen it with my cousins and sandy. wth man? grrr... now whos being hypocritcal? well whatever, since winterball, ive been questioning about how she really feels about me.

lately, i dunno.. shanons just been saying a lot of mean things to me. maybe its the truth coming out. thats sure what it seems like. hmm.. saying i ruiend her christmas n scratching my face.. id unno.. i dont think its something u say out of releasing anger as bonnie has said. she has some anger against me and now shes finally letting out. i guess its about time the truth comes out about how she feels. might as well. no point in hiding things between a "friendship" i guess. whatever though, i think shes being really mean to me. sorry doesnt really cut it. why u say? well i guess she cant really help what she feels about me and so yea.. at least i kno the truth. shannons saying that she doesnt mean these things but i kno for sure she does mean them, maybe not to that degree but she still has a grudge against me. seriously though, im pretty mad REALITY CHECK: not everyone is as they seem.

hmm, an interesting thought popped came to me while i was listening to music. how would it be if i never IMed hoan? everything this year would be pretty different... i mean really different. if i did not get close to him during summer, then we probalby wouldnt really even kno each other besides who each other are. we would not have any classes together, meaning we would not have much interaction with each other. its really weird to think about. this whole year really woudl be different. would i still be with david? that thought boggles my mind the most. hmm. the winterball? that probably wouldnt have happened either andi wouldnt have really liked hoan that much. what about marines world? that whole day was really fun and thinking about the fact how if i didnt really know hoan is just weird. i mean, we shared a lot of things together and i am pretty close to him. he knows a lot about me, more than most people and to think that i would've never gotten to know him . really weird! well i am really glad that i did IM him. (o= hes a really good friend and someone really fun to talk to. thanks a lot hoan. dang, its really weird to think about how we would not even kno each. *ponders* WHAT IF!?! well, im really glad i do kno hoan now... hes just grand! hehe (o=
quote of day: SMILES is supposed to be the longest word in the dictionary because there's a mile between the two S's... cute (o=

*ponders* hm, thinking hard.. hehe (o=

wow! just saw the grinch and it really brought my christmas spirit up! hehe that movie is pretty cute. (o= cindy lou is just so cute! whoo... haha..i guess being MRS. GRINCH isnt a bad title. hehe MERRY CHRISTMAS ANNIE!

hmm... the day was pretty boring. hehe went out to eat with my family and that was pretty cool. hehe (o= everyone went. it was my family, aunt trang, vincent, frank, aunt thao, hung, other aunt thao, uncle hung, raymond, grandma, and all of hungs family. whoo, there was over 20 people! pretty crazy if u ask me. the food was really good and i am totally stuffed! i ate sooo much. aunt thao got proposed to so now shes engaged! crazy man! hehe MERRRY CHRISTMAS!!!! hehe christmas i guess was pretty coo. got to spend time with family. hmm i got rush hour 2 from vincent and trish cds from frank. thanks u guys! okei i guess thats it. I LOVE CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!!!! whoo.. theres something in the chimney n i dunno what it is... haha that song is so funnie! (o= MERRRY CHRISTMAS n to all a good night...

MeRry CHriStMaS!!

// posted by annie @ 10:34 AM

friends? arghz.. this is gay... shannons a meanie... i dont think she likes me very much. blah... shes been saying hecka mean stuff to me lately.hmm makes me wonder... hmm sheesh.. just gotta rub it in that i ruin her christmas.. not like i did it intentionally. SORRY SHANNON! hmm questioning ... blah... sheehs id unno.. shannons just being mean to me. yup yup.. makes me feel grrr. grrr!!! stupid shannon man. i dunno.. maybe im just being extra grumpy on christmas eve.. great huh!!?!? whatever... arghzzzz... MRS. GRINCH! booo. be happy.. happy happy!

arghz... im at bonnies house now... wiht shanon n bonnie.. .*sigh* what a sorry christmas eve.. plans didnt get followed through and i ruined shannons christmas... aint that great?? oh wellz...*sigH* christmas in the park man!! i wanted to go! nooo stupid piece of poop... i need seomthing to do... CHRISTMAS EVE! great~!! well at least im with some friends..

shannon brought up an interesting thought to mind. she asked me, when am i going to get with hoan? n i should get with him already! hmm. thinking...why rush things? im not ready for a new relationship and committment. i do like hoan n he likes me but i dont want to move things too soon. look what happened to david. i dont wanna hurt anyone else and its just better if im by myself. hoan is hmm.. i guess someone im "talking" to? is it? i dunno.. what is our status? well i see no point in putting a title to what we are. we have fun together and thats good enough for me. (o= seriously though... why rush things? if he really likes me, then he'll be patient and wait for me to be ready... (o=

whoo... christmas eve!! (o= just got home from a really nice bike ride.. whoohoo!! i got my mistletoe!! yay... now i just need to get someone to kiss. hahah.. hmm lets kiss my mommy later. oh yea! hehe... hehe bonnie and hoan came by and we all went biking.. pretty nice out. beautiful blue sky for a christmas eve... *sigh*

*MUAHS!!!* for me and bonnie, mistletoe works year round!! thats rite... (O= *wink wink*

I hope my letter reaches you in time
Bring me a love, I can call all mine
Cause I have been so good this year
Can't be alone, under the mistletoe
He’s all I want in a big red bow...

arghz... stupid david just called... why? i duno.. he said merry christmas and hung up... aint that grand?? just gotta make me go red in the cheeks. *sigh* stupid guy.

Strawberry: 0/100 Pear: 20/100 Banana: 50/100 Tomato: 40/100 Lemon: 20/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by webkin and aaronr!

look... im a banana!! hahha coool!

whoo... finally got to make this blog page my own!! whoo... i love it! hehe gummy bears all over! it so feels like home now... *sigh* phew... hmm today was rather boring id say... not much happened. hmm, had my daily convo with juan.. hehe. whoo gummy bears man! interesting how me n juan had the same wish when we were at christmas in the park... (o= pretty cool. hm i have no idea what to write.. i ate a lot today.. hehe yumm xoi. is that how u spell it? sure why not. ehhe had an interesting debate with hoan.. haha the red/orange xoi is better! way better.. hehe the yellow one is okei too. hehe stupid guy tried to argue wtih me.. he has BLACK xoi!! what the heck is that? that retard..haha how can he have never heard of red xoi. pretty funny. hmm then we had a discussion about the flea market guns.. haha he never heard of the RED bullets either.. haha its pretty funny. dude.. maybe theres just something with me and red. (o= hmm ive been sitting around the house all day and now its 7. phew... talk about wasting the day way. oh wellz.. i guess this is all i have to say.. smell u later (O= LOOK AT THE APPLES GO!!

(dec 22, 2001) happy christmas time is almost here! whooo.. hehe acutually, i kinda messed up my entry. hehe its okie... last night i was on the fone with hoan until 4. yikes! i was sooo sleepy man! hehe it was pretty nice talking to him. hehe im not even sure what we talked about, but the time surely flew by. hehe i was soo awake and i couldnt sleep. pretty crazy. hmm at one point tho, both of us were really sleepy and haha, we started talking in our sleep! omg! that was helal funny... hehe kept on busting out with these stupid things that make no sense what so ever... hehe. i had a couple of good laughs too.. haha hoan lunges when he sleeps! hahaha lol!! i couldnt stop laughing when he told me that, my stomach hecka hurt. stupid guy. (o= i woke up at 1. haha hecka crazy... havent done that in a really long time.

my day was pretty plesant too. *sigh* life is grand. hehe. went to grandmas house to visit her and she kept on making us eat oranges. haheh, that was pretty funny. when me and sandy came home, we went out to eat with mom n dad. yumm... chow fun! around 6, we all headed to the movies. (o= it was me, bonnie, sandy, shannon, vicky, tam, hoan, steven, and tams cousin. we all saw OCEAN's 11. the movie was alright, kinda funny. but what happened in the theatre was good. it was realy cute. (o= sigh..i had a great time with hoan. well yea... i sat next to hoan during the movie. hehe i brought the christmas gummy bears that he seperated for me for us to eat. that was pretty cute hehe. hmm we were all playing wiht the bears. haha the FAT n CHUBBY gummy bears are hecka funny. haha. hmm.. i kept on bugging tam and she knocked my nose with the arm rest. haha that was really funny. hmm..lets see...i kept on laughing during hte movie and stuff. hehe.. hmm me n juan shared our "sweet" moment too. i thought i was really nice. im not sure what happened but our hands kinda found each other. hoan was all playing wtih my index finger and i was trying to touch his hand with my thumb, but it was too short. hehhe that dork.. he thought he was holding my thumb!! it was hecka funny. =D well yea... we kinda held hands but not. it wasnt really holding hands but either way. it was really sweet. interwovening our fingers i guess. yea... it felt really nice. (o= aww, we did that for like 30 mins it hink. hoan kept rubbing my fingers. so cute! awwwwwww... well yea... it was very cute for me. bonnie drove us home at 10 and thats where my day ended. *sigh* the movies was great... *sigh* adorable, just adorable!!!

*sigh* today (dec. 21, 2001) was just a nice perfect day! we traded our secret santa stuff and everything. the whole day was relaxing, i didnt have work in any class! it was soo cool! a relaxing day, ice skating, christmas in the park, n the tennis banquet.*sigh* juan is just so sweet. i cant believe what he did for me. After 1st period, we went to the lockers to get my present from his locker. when i opened it, i found gummy bears seperated by colors. just like what i said was really cute! (o= its so cute. i cant believe he actually seperated them. yea a couple of days earlier, i mentioned about how cute JACK was because he seperated the gummy bears to give to his crush.. and juan did tjhat for me. i was so surprise and so happy! i kno my eyes mustve been humungous! hehe... but it was soooo sweet. juan told me to look in the box a little closer and i saw a glove in there. when i looked in teh glove, there were my WHITE GUMMY BEARS! sooo sweet... i was like wow! aww gee golly gosh... id say thats sweeter than anything davids done for me. i didnt really know what the glove meant at first but then i found out it was suppose to be sorta that serendipity thing. (o= he told me to keep one glove, and he'll keep the other... *sigh* like the movie... our lil serendipity moment. aww, just adorable! just liek that one dream i had.. weird how it acutally came true.i gave him like 3 big hugs. hehe, i couldnt help it. its just so cute! white gummy bears...aww. (o= then we went back to class. i was so *wow* i cant believe what he did for me. its really nice because it shows that he really listens to me. i mean, its the little things that count and he actually did something that sweet for me. aww! *sigh* dont have the words to explain how sweet i thought that was. yea... i hugged him pretty tight.. hehe n he hugged me bak. hehe no duh.. sigh... the rest of my classes were pretty nice n relaxing..whoo no work for once! we traded gifts during break and i got a lot of clothes.. its cool. (o=


when school ended, everyone was off to going ice skating at eastridge. stupid calvin got hit by someone while driving me, justina, shannon, n bonnie to my house to drop off our stuff. it was pretty scary. after that, we all went to eastridge to skate. (o= ice skating was really fun! whoo... i skated around a lot with hoan.. hehe that loser fell! hehe he was pretty good at ice skating for his first time. (o= shannon and steven skated a lot together too.. and bonnie n calvin.. whoo, they were really cute. hecka flirty with each other. hehe..yea, ice skating with hoan was pretty fun. hehe stupid guy tried to throw ice at me. we jsut skated around in circles a lot. whoo... ice skating is hecka fun. i love going fast!! hehe tam kept on trying to chase me.. hehe that dodo. it was pretty fun, gave me a good exercise. well yea.. we skated for until around 5ish. after this, steven took me, shannon, n bonnie home to my house to change and get ready for the tennis banquet.so we got all dressed up and looking pretty.. hehe and we picked up ngoc and left witt him. we all decided to go th christmas in the park which i found pretty cute too except i wish ngoc wasnt there. arghz.. it would've been a lot sweeter if that were the case. well shannon n steven ran off together and so did bonnie n calvin. them dodos... me, hoan, n ngoc were left together walking around. felt kinda weird but its okie. i missed christmas in the park! i havent been there for over 5 years! it was nice to come back and visit. everything looked so pretty and there was the wishing well. that was pretty cool... when u drop the coin, it kept on going around and around and around. haha.. hmm what did i wish for? i wished for good grades and for possibly something to happen for me n hoan in the future... not now of course, but future. right now, it is still way too soon i think.

dang.. today id say was a pretty evil day! stupid david just ruined it for me. the day was going pretty nice. dance pictures came and everyoen came out really nice! everyone looked so happy and cute. aww... wish i could go back. (o= the couple pic of me n juan came out pretty cute too... hehe he has this really funny smile.. hehe its cool tho.. looks cute in a dorky way. haha. funniness.. so many peepo want one, but i only have so many copies, eee... what do i do? yea i was having a nice quiet day. jeanette came over to work on our spanish project and the fone rings.

who called? david did. he had passed by and dropped off a bunch of stuff that i gave him.it was so depressing to look at. He gave back my jar of stars, snoopy, fluffy, the precious moment statues, and a bunch of cards that i had written to him.
It was so depressing. i have not really looked back at the past and when he brought those, i couldnt do anything but start crying. i looked at the cards and thought how could it be so different now? it just put me in pain reminscing our moments together. 3 years... why didnt i do something before it got too serious? i let my emotions take over and was put into a miserable state of mind. i just felt so empty. i had to press fluffy too. it still vibrates. brings back so many memories. "nothing can break us apart, thats what makes us special" how could i have written such a thing? was i just lusting and lovestruck? all i know is that i was put in a very sad state. reading the letters and poems i wrote to him was just too much. i couldn't handle it anymore and ripped some away. well, i threw away the metal keychain that said me n him, forever. forever eh? sure doesnt seem tha way. i think it is for the better, but he had to ruin my christmas mood by bringing such sorrow back into my life. maybe i am just being cruel, but its not my fault! if i dont have feelings for him anymore, how can i stay with him? it wouldn't be a relationship and i would just feel like i was leading him on. *sigh* i haven't cried in a long time, and TODAY i did. i just had to look at the book i gave him too. that book was so meaningful to me. shannon yelled at me for it and i thank her for that. if she didtn, i would've continued reading and just put myself into a bigger slump (is that a word?). GUESS WHO MUCH I LOVE YOU... to the moon and back. memories... )o= he caleld me and i hung up on him... what am i suppose to say to him? i jsut couldnt talk to hiim... wont this end? i need him to let me go... it only hurts the both of us more. how many painful tears did i shed because of him? way too many to my liking. int he 3 years we were together, we never did stop our fighting... went through a fight every 2 weeks or so. isnt that just grand? how did i even deal wit it? whatever... fuck hiim!!! i am ME!! i am happy where i am right now and thats all that matters. thats right! its not about him anymore... its about ME ME ME!

hoan was nice enough to know that something was seriously bothering me so he called me. it was nice. cheered me up a bit. (o= he seems so nice. he sent me a card that i foudn very sweet. made me smile.... hehe, it had this cute penguin on it... hee like mr. BOBO... To WiFey,
Hey there annie!..hehe..u seemed really sad earlier..really hope this cheers u up...I just can't sit idly by while u feel bad..youve been a really good friend to me and i cant stand to see u sad.ur just too cools!..u should be caroling ur head off cause its almost christmas!! hehehe..I got you a lil somethins ..u might enjoy it.. :] i thought u might like this card..hehe its pretty cute..kinda reminds u of bobo doesnt it?? hehe i hope it cheers you up..hehe..well ur gonna hav fun tomorrow when we go ice skating..woohoo..stupid annie making fun of my sneeze..hehe..u cuckoo..enjoy looking at the dance pics..i had a lot of fun with you at the dance..hehe..ur too cute annie..dang..well hope you feel better macha..*muahs* happy christmas! .) hehe thats so sweet of him.. he so cares about me and i am so greatful. *sigh* it made me a lot happier to jsut talk to him on the fone. thanks juan! he really did cheer me up... i wish i couldve stayed on teh fone with him a bit longer... that would've really cheered me up... haha rite now im on the fone with him. whoo... hmm i made him christmas cd... hope he likes it... i dunno, just felt like it. when i was doing it tho, it made me a lot happier also. so thats good.

hmm... wow the day just ended!! i am so majorly happy about biology! phew! got my A---! but hey, an A is an A. nothing that interesting happened today. stupid rallies at school are really cool...hehe really sweet guys but phew... i wish someone would do that for me but then again... id be sooo embarrassed! tho.. hehe all good. its already wednesday! wow! so glad.. the rest of my week should be a breeze i guess. stupid juan made me fall today in 1st period twice. grr.. that gay butt. in 2nd period, hoan was like making circles on my back... hehe couldn really feel it tho... haha my jacket was pretty thick... funny! hehe it was cute tho..yupperz. he has really white hands!! lol. during 3rd period today, shannon and tam told me they've been analyzing my profile..hmm wonder what they think its all about, i surely dont think they know...hehe its not even jsut tam n shannon... but henry and my are in this too... who knows who else? watever.. its cool.. (o= they think they know, but they have no idea... haha this is the diary of annie mach... MTV's retarded. at lunch today, shannon made a collage thing about steven... cute (o= tam did too.. but i realized that i know nothing about tam... that makes me feel sad... dang man.. i mean i know nothing! shes suppose to be a close friend but then i have no idea what she was talking about..gotta make an effort to get to know her better... bonnie was very protective today about her planner, wonder what she has in there. the day ended pretty okay... mr. rodriguez was picking on me tho.. that meanie! i still need to develop the film from winterball. (o= that should be fun to look at. hmm... overall, today was okay, nothing that interesting but it was nice to just relax.

thoughts are so cool... hehe i was in class or something and i started thinking about gummy bears!! haha thats rite. the white ones are the best. when that came about, i thought about that one movie with robin williams, JACK. hehe he picked out all the little red gummy bears for his teacher...thats so cute! hmm if someone dd that for me... then *sigh* thatd just be soooo cool! ehhe (o= hehe, screw the flowers, screw the chocolate, give me the GUMMY BEARS!

yay! just finished my christmas shopping... (o= yikes.. now i better get off to doing math hw and then my gay essay... phew...

haha was out to start studying but then realized what hoan told me yesterday. heheh pretty funny how i first talked to him. (o= yea he told me during badminton season he was just sitting there and i went to sit down next to him and untied his shoelace. haha, what the heck is that all about?? hehe nice first impression dont you think? hehe he told me he was like thinking what the heck? hehe niicee... who would ever think we'd grow so close...

well well well... today was a pretty okay day, just i was pretty quiet. its okie tho... some realization was brought to me from my dear friend shannon. hoan liked me since april! thats like 9 whole months! a whole lot of time if u ask me..crazy. well i hope i didnt make hoan feel that uncomfortable for readig my thoughts.. no one really knows how i feel and the one person i show it to just happens to be the person that its about... am i nuts?!? probably am.. stupid biology...i should be reading and studying right now but i still need to get all my thoughts out so i could feel more relaxed. hmm, i guess i might as well let hoan know. i wonder what this is going to lead to? personally, i think it is too soon to want it to go anywhere...i mean i barely broke up wiht david a month ago. a month!! WAY TOO FAST!! what am i thinking? i know that hoan has liked me for a long but hello! annie, this is not you? remember, "i dont want to be with anyone for a loonngg time" a month is anything but long... control yourself. the problem is, i really like him. i mean i think i really do like him. of course i am not going to tell him this, but i mean how can i like someone so much in such a short period of time? i am being so hypocritical! grr... *sigh* what should i do? hoan was really out there today... hope i didnt make him feel too uncomfortable. hmm, this is getting a little too much of my words.. hehe lets get some other peepo's quotes in here "it seems like weve grown really close overtime and ive realized that i really like her a lot.. *sigh*..I really like her a lot...ive never told her yet..though she knows i like her but she doesnt know how much" yea hoan said that.. hmm how much does he like me? i hope im not hurting him because that wouldnt be cool. hmm, its true though... i have gotten really close to him and i think it is really nice. *sigh* i wish things weren't so complicated. i seriously like him but i am definitely not ready for another relationship. it would be so strange...i mean i was with david for 3 years...3 years... what else do i know besides him? i know that i am hurting him too and i really wish i wasnt but its not really my fault. you cant expect someone to be in a relationship that they are not happy in. the word "ex" is now being used around me and i find the word so strange and unfamiliar. it just sounds so weird. all that ive ever heard was "boyfriend" ...speaking of david, he supposedly quoted me but i dont even know if i really said that? why dont we just archive that too. "I don't love you no more, you didn't expect me to be with you forever did you?" yes, david quoted this from me! did i say this? i surely dont remember saying it. SORRY david. well i think i am okay at this moment. nothing is bothering me too much except for the fact that i dont really know what to do with my feelings. lets just keep them to myself. its best for now... take things slow and nothing bad should happen. i have a lot of time and theres no need to rush it. hm, one thing that i found rather soothing today was 2nd period. i dunno... hoan was like touching me.. haha not that dirty kind but kinda tapping my back.. sweet touch... (o= made me feel i dunno... warm. yes, warm.. thats the word... it felt really nice tho..its like wow...hehe not a big deal but to me, it just felt so adorable... *sigh* what can i say? ive had a lil crush on him for awhile but personally wouldnt admit it. after winterball and the weekend that i spent with him, its just time that i stop being in denial and realize i like him a lot. head over heels... yikes, thats kinda how i feel rite now... i just cant help myself, im falling in love with you... (o=

*sigh* the dance was such a blast! it was just BUBBLY. what should i be doing right now? i should be reading my biology but instead im writing down my thoughts becuase ive just had a very interesting weekend. *sigh* did i mention the dance was a blast? well it was... it really was! juan looked pretty handsome n i think i looked pretty. it's nice to dress up and look pretty once in awhile. gosh... hoan was just so sweet..he so surprised me. it was a very pleasant surprise... i thought that i might be uncomfortable at the dance but it was really "nice", very homey i guess. hmm the night passed by way too quick... time flies when you have fun n i had fun. hoan actualy took my hand! its like wow! made me feel kinda weird at first but yea got used to it n it was rather pleasant. *sigh* VERY pleasant. well we pretty much just danced hte night away... i dont think ive ever had that much fun at a dance (o= he was so sweet n we danced pretty close! very close indeed! hehe... hmm wow! i cant believe he was going to kiss me... what would i have done? what would i have done??? i have no idea whatsoever! (o= would i have kissed him back? would i?!!? what is my answer... did i want him to kiss me? somewhere in the back of my head, i think i really was hoping that he would... i think i kinda was hoping hed kiss me today. yes, i cant believe i just said that but its true! well lets see, the dance was truly something to remember... i felt so BOOBLY i guess. it was so sweet tho! he hugged me n held me n its like whoa... im okay with this. moving pretty fast but it feels really nice. hmm, the dance was really WONDERFUL! i am starting to really like him a lot... is this a good thing? i duno, but it sure feels good. what can i say... eeeee... he gave me peachios too... very nice... welps i guess its a good thing he iddnt kiss me, it showed me hes a real gentlemen... either that or hes just a shy lil boy... hehe (O= either way, its cute n nice *sigH* what will this lead to?