|
| Hmm feels like I haven't had a 6 hour shift at work in a long time even though I pull 10 hours every monday through wednesday lol. Nothing much new today except that I went to look at my car and it's in alright shape. I really want to get it so it's time to sit down and start talking about it seriously and soon. But I did learn something new today. My friend was having problems with a girl that he's close to, mostly about trust. I realized that I never want to feel that way ever again, at least for a looooong time. It's funny how thoughts remain in the back of your mind and what will actually bring them out. Without our friends and aquaintances what would we be like. I know who I am and what I've become. Without my friend and aquaintances that I have met along the way I don't know if I would know that and I thank them for that. My dream is becoming reality, My smile shines brighter inside everyday...Till later | | |
| Been awhile hasn't it? Well nothing much new, but a couple things. One being my second job. Wednesday night was definitely shitty. To start out the night my brother called off yet again complaining about being sick. As soon as I started this job the first thing that happened was getting a cold, but did I complain? Did I call off? No, I took some fucking day quil and took my sorry ass to work. Then Jon, my boss, was really pissy because he was put on a dead line to get finished. I saw a side of him that was not only inapporiate but put me in a shit mood for the night. He made the comment that he couldn't figure out why it was only an hour difference between a three man team and a two man team. So Im going to talk to him about letting me go. I really don't want to do this anymore but I started it and unless he wants to let me go Im going to fucking finish it. One thing that is really good news is I FOUND MY CAR! Two of them actually, one already sold and the other one about 500 dollars more then I want to spend. So I'm going to go down to the dealership and check it out and if everything goes ok I'm going to see if I can get it for 5500. Another good thing thats new and only recently went through my mind is my situation with Megan if there even is one lol, which can be a good thing I suppose. I just don't pay much attention to what she does anymore I think Im actually letting go. Feels good it really does. I can truly listen and sing the song "Stories" and feel it at the heart. Something that has bothered me though is my eating habits. If it weren't for my second job I think I would eat alot more then what I am right now. I've gained five pounds and I can't understand why. I don't feel like Im depressed..*shrug* strange. Hmm, I don't think there is much more to mention and if there is I'll just post it later. My dream is becoming reality, My smile shines brighter everyday. | | |
| *sighz with boredom* Was suppose to goto a party tonight but I guess either it didn't happen or something 'cause my friend sly never called me. *shrug* Figured he wouldn't...It's all good though. Worked tonight at Durangos and when I get off the clock I normally chill there for a good half an hour to an hour. Shyra, one of the managers, came over and sat with me and started talking to me. It's funny because she kept asking me questions and I would answer them and then she said "So do I have to ask you questions in order for you to talk to me?". I replied "Basically" and she said "Are you normally this quiet?" and I replied "It depends on the person I only really talk to nathan and tito." After that we started to talk about things, maybe she actually was interested but probably just trying to take up time. Alot of people at work wonder why I'm so quiet. They'll never know. Other then that my day was kinda bleh. I need to start working out again and maybe thats what I'll do tomorrow before I have to goto my shitty second job.*sigh* At least I can smile now..or was that a dream?...Till later | | |
| So tired...Seems like thats all I am lately. Worked at Durangos tonight and I bused. I really don't mind busing but it can be hard at times and if people would just leave me alone and let me run around instead of some of the shit that they do I'd probably wouldn't have a problem with it at all. I do have some what of a problem when people help me because it's kind of an insult to myself basically saying, hey your fricken slow. Now if someone wants to come up to me and ask me hey man you want me to help you out a little bit I wouldn't have a problem with it. *sigh* I'm just talk'n. I yelled at Steve tonight, someone that works with me. It was very amusing lol, I've always had a problem with Steve but now I just hate him. He pissed me off by doing the same shit he does every night as a host and I went off on him. Other then that I'm going to drink a little bit, listen to some music, play a little GTA, and possibly remember. At least I can smile...or was that a dream?...Till later | | |
| Just got home from shooting pool with my friend Nathan and Kelly. Kinda was off, but I haven't played in so long. His new ride, an Explorer XLT 2001, is really really nice. I just hope he doesn't get himself in a hole because he's financing it. Got home tonight and looked at who was online and Megan was, but her away message was at the drive in. Why is it that I get so jealous. It's funny though now it hurts but it's so very little. Maybe I'm just so numb that I can't feel the pain anymore. The funny thing is, she is probably with her parents and Im jealous over nothing. With my luck though Im wrong. If something happens to her over the summer or anytime in the future that doesn't include me I'm happy for her. That kinda feels good now that I can just be happy for her and put my feelings aside. I hope I truly feel that way when it does happen. *sigh* So much history, so many memories, I miss her so much and I can't do a single fucking thing about it. At least I can smile now....or was that a dream?...Till later | | |
|
